Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

This space discusses suicide and self-harm. Consider limiting the time you spend here. To use the section safely, read the pinned discussion.

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 96

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

All discussions

Cee123 Back Again
  • replies: 29

Hi guys, just want to say hi again. I'm back again. I think it was around the time I had my birthday and I turned 35. Anyways, nothing's changed as I said. I am still as hopeless as ever. Here's a few things about me. I am still jobless, unable to ge... View more

Hi guys, just want to say hi again. I'm back again. I think it was around the time I had my birthday and I turned 35. Anyways, nothing's changed as I said. I am still as hopeless as ever. Here's a few things about me. I am still jobless, unable to get a job anywhere (due to longterm unemployment), unable to work due to my mental condition and don't know what to do with my life. I still live at home. I am still single, unwanted and childless (I dont think that will change, sadly). I am still socially isolated, with no friends. All my friends are gone from my life. I am STILL suffering from depression and anxiety, been unable to work, still. I am still on medication. I was cut off from Centrelink because I went through a really depressed period this winter where I couldn't get out of bed and I couldn't function at all. And this Spring has felt like a continuation of winter. I have NO social life. Basically, Centrelink referred me to a Disability Employment Services. However, I went through a really low patch where I was feeling really crappy. Both about myself and my life. I didn't get out of bed. I couldn't even do the one thing that's been helping my mental health and that's gardening because the weather has been nearly constantly terrible. I stopped answering my phone, they were trying to contact me by mail, but I had no motivation to do anything. My depression has been really bad. I have no purpose in my life. I have never been married, never even been in a real relationship before. No one has ever wanted me. My friends have all abandoned me years ago before things even turned to crap in my life. I was going to the gym. But I stopped that too. When the lockdown hit, I didn't go there for 2 weeks. Then we had to wear masks there. I went after that. But then I lost all my motivation to go anymore. I started going only once a week, then it was once every 2 weeks, now I haven't been for nearly a month. All I do these days is lay in bed. I feel like I've lost in this life. I don't even know how I ended up so alone. I have no one to talk to each day. I have no one to hang out with. I am so painfully lonely and isolated. I am in an online relationship but all she does is abuse me. I tried online dating sites, but nobody is ever interested in me and I never found anyone I liked. I feel so lonely in my life.

Supermum Groundhog day
  • replies: 3

It’s been a while …. Not because I am healed or fixed but because I felt there wasn’t any point in trying . Do I feel like there’s point now ? I dont know . God I feel empty , lost , alone and it feels like this emptiness and tiredness will never end... View more

It’s been a while …. Not because I am healed or fixed but because I felt there wasn’t any point in trying . Do I feel like there’s point now ? I dont know . God I feel empty , lost , alone and it feels like this emptiness and tiredness will never end . Invasive thoughts , anger , resentment… this isn’t the lianne I remember we whom I liked .

Rod32 Time to go
  • replies: 43

I've read a lot of the posts, now I know I'm a pathetic looser. Loneliness after wife left, all friends were joint and now I have no contact from them. I have a 20yo son who is my world, my daughter 18 loves me however she is very much like her mothe... View more

I've read a lot of the posts, now I know I'm a pathetic looser. Loneliness after wife left, all friends were joint and now I have no contact from them. I have a 20yo son who is my world, my daughter 18 loves me however she is very much like her mother. Lost my two children from my previous marriage, son murdered 2016 and daughter died 2013 wife left 2019. I have tried to cope for my children's sake but now they are older an in relationship I'm not really needed now. Rambling a bit now sorry, really had mostly a good life but the hurt and pain to much now, hard type through tears.

Chucks Introducing myself
  • replies: 7

Hi, I’m Chucks, I’m nonbinary and use They/Them pronouns, and I’ve finally found myself creating a profile here after searching for a self-harm support forum. I’m escalating again and I’ve never found permanent, effective solutions. I’ve been knowing... View more

Hi, I’m Chucks, I’m nonbinary and use They/Them pronouns, and I’ve finally found myself creating a profile here after searching for a self-harm support forum. I’m escalating again and I’ve never found permanent, effective solutions. I’ve been knowingly self-harming since I was five years old. That’s thirty years now. I’ve never properly opened up about it, I’ve always been too ashamed, no one ever noticed it or called me on it until very recently but that person was a transient support only and not a permanent support person. I have complex PTSD, anxiety disorder, drug resistant depression, suffer from panic attacks, moderate agoraphobia, and I am primary cater to a daughter dying of Spinal Muscular Atrophy, and a son with Autism. I’m not entirely sure anyone will want to talk to me or offer advice, but I’m willing to try. I’ve got little else to lose. Thanks all.

Sophie_M Site Maintenance - Forums will be offline for some time tonight (24/11/21)
  • replies: 0

Hi there everyone, Tonight, we will be performing scheduled maintenance to our Beyond Blue, Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service and Healthy Families websites, including of course these wonderful forums. Maintenance will begin at 10.30pm AEDT... View more

Hi there everyone, Tonight, we will be performing scheduled maintenance to our Beyond Blue, Coronavirus Mental Wellbeing Support Service and Healthy Families websites, including of course these wonderful forums. Maintenance will begin at 10.30pm AEDT Wednesday 24th November (tonight) and we expect services to be available again by 4am AEDT Thursday 25th November (tomorrow). If you're following us on Instagram, you may have also seen this message there! The Beyond Blue Support Service remains available by phone during our websites’ down time. Our trained counsellors are available 24/7 on 1300 22 4636 – they’ll be there to listen, provide information, give brief advice and point you in the right direction should you want to seek further support. For immediate support call Lifeline on 13 11 14 and in an emergency, always call triple zero (000). Thank you for your understanding. Kind regards, Sophie M

Lucette My friend took her life
  • replies: 9

Today I found out that my friend had taken her own life yesterday. No one really knows yet and I feel like I’m just numb and that it hasn’t set in yet. She new so much about home and I wish she knew she could have told me. Maybe she would still be he... View more

Today I found out that my friend had taken her own life yesterday. No one really knows yet and I feel like I’m just numb and that it hasn’t set in yet. She new so much about home and I wish she knew she could have told me. Maybe she would still be here. She was going to go beauty school and she was going to dye my hair. I keep thinking that she will turn up to our classes. she was one of the first people I came out to and she never got to come out to everyone else. She knew about what was happening in my life and she told me about her past issues. She was such a sweet person. And I hate saying that she “was”. I hate it. She should still be that nice person who made everyone so happy. She should get to leave school and move to a bigger city like she wanted to. She should have gone to semi formal and had Christmas. I wish she knew that we loved her. I wish she talked to me or anyone. I love her and I don’t want to admit she’s gone. It’s not fair. She didn’t deserve to feel like this. And as someone who has been thinking about ending it for ages I wish she had told me I couod have tried to help her. I love you Ashley I hope your ok now. Know that everyone loves you and you going to be so incredibly missed. I love you with my whole heart. Goodbye angel

Midget64 Starting over
  • replies: 2

Hi all,this is my first time posting. I've been looking through some of the threads and have found some comfort in knowing I'm not the lone ranger. I'm 57 but feeling 87 right now, a few weeks ago I tried and obviously failed to end my life. I've spe... View more

Hi all,this is my first time posting. I've been looking through some of the threads and have found some comfort in knowing I'm not the lone ranger. I'm 57 but feeling 87 right now, a few weeks ago I tried and obviously failed to end my life. I've spent 2 weeks in a psychiatric unit and been home a week. It's all been a long time coming as I've had depression for many years. I couldn't find a way to stay before but now I realise it is down to me to keep going and maybe one day I'll find that reason. I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder along with chronic depression and a few other problems, does that make me crazy? I'm really not sure but guess I will figure it out eventually. Right now I'm still trying to figure out why one of my two sons is being so nice and trying his best to support me and the younger son refuses to talk to me. This is giving me more heartache than anything else. My brothers were OK with me after they all got through yelling at me but I have to say I have resented the lectures.Friends are either angry at me or supporting me from a distance which also doesn't really help. Not really sure what I wanted to say here except to say I'm still here and trying to get through this time one day at a time and some days, it's one hour at a time. Sending everyone here love and hugs and wishing everyone a bit of laughter in their life

tiredzebra Loneliness, isolation, suffering and lack of support is going to kill me
  • replies: 6

I had a serious and rare diagnosis 20 months ago and my mortality was thrown in my face. its brought up my shocking upbringing and trauma I have endured and I have worked hard to make a good life from all the horror but now this. I turn to my friends... View more

I had a serious and rare diagnosis 20 months ago and my mortality was thrown in my face. its brought up my shocking upbringing and trauma I have endured and I have worked hard to make a good life from all the horror but now this. I turn to my friends. and family and I am ignored. I asked my sister and best friend for company -expressed clearly my loneliness and sadness and that I was suicidal. hey ignored me (I am safe right now - just) I have messaged about 3 other friends explaining this and reaching out even telling them what happened - I can see they read the message and they didn't reply. My husband went away to work like 2 states away knowing I was in this lonely place and had just gotten out of psych hospital for being suicidal. My older daughter lives over the border with my grandkids and she knows how troubled I am and barely calls barely meets up. I now realise its all me who makes the effort in these relationships. My Dr gave her a letter so she can come here to give me support but she never used it. My younger child is a teen so she's always out. My one friend this side of the border had asked me over and cancelled. I don't know how long I can hang in there and I'm wondering what im hanging in there for. im getting sicker and sicker I have treatments every 3wks at oncology ward, I have no quality of life and a lot of chronic pain and fatigue but I make the effort for everyone else and they take advantage of it and push me for their needs and when I need them they are nowhere. I can't cope with this, I guess I just need to vent and a chat. im trying my best to get thru until these borders open. Someone has caused me to be suicidal as I am treated like a criminal crossing for my life saving treatments and I can't see my family. She's taken my only happiness my grandkids.

Chris 21 Partner left me
  • replies: 14

Hi, I am Chris, I suffer depression and have done for a long time, sadly my partner is my life, I mean my life, left me in September after 27 years sighting issues over our relationship… it is breaking my heart, everyone says it gets easier with time... View more

Hi, I am Chris, I suffer depression and have done for a long time, sadly my partner is my life, I mean my life, left me in September after 27 years sighting issues over our relationship… it is breaking my heart, everyone says it gets easier with time, however it’s getting harder for me…. I I have been self harming to help with the pain, however it doesn’t help .. even attempted to take my life 4 weeks ago, she says she is broken and no longer wants a relationship … it’s made my depression worse , I am 46, have no friends as I isolated myself with depression … I have 2 wonderful kids whom make me want to live but I can’t concentrate , constant crying, headaches intermittent eating … being sick … I know she won’t come back she has made it clear … but I can’t go on without her, she has been there for me since I was 19 …. Now when I need her most she deserts me. I am at a loss with what to do, my GP has me on mood and depression tablets they do not help .. make me drowsy and sleepy but doesn’t take the pain away as said 2 months and pain gets worse I have no family …. I just wanted to air, thank you for reading this if you choose. chris

fluidangel83 cant take much more
  • replies: 2

Im a dad of 3 beautiful children, a husband and an uncle to 4 amazing children i love as if they were my own yet im ready to say life is just too hard. I lost my mum, nonno and aunty in 2019 and my dad is 2008, i have battled my sexuality and gender ... View more

Im a dad of 3 beautiful children, a husband and an uncle to 4 amazing children i love as if they were my own yet im ready to say life is just too hard. I lost my mum, nonno and aunty in 2019 and my dad is 2008, i have battled my sexuality and gender every day since i was a teenager and honestly its broken me. The kids are the only reason i am still here because everyone else i love has gone to what ever comes next. I just dont have a purpose for keeping on going anymore and its scaring me. I cant speak to my wife about it because she just says "What do you want me to say" or "i dont know what to say", i cant speak to my inlaws because my FIL would probably fly in to a rage and my mates all have their own lives now and i wont burden them