no life direction

[rocketman__]

im kinda stuck. like i was stationary in my life, then i got going, and then i got stuck. iv have seen people talk about how hard they have it and i think and i unreasonable for telling myself im struggling. i have been suicidal for almost 2 years now and nobody knows. i have social anxiety, weather its severe, disorder or nothing, i dont know but i know i am hopeless in social surroundings. i umpire in local afl but in the goal but i would like to be a field umpire. im way to anxious to talk to players and make decisions that they wont like. i dream of being one though. i dream of being an extravert. i never had a girlfriend and i always dreamt of being so confident like the other guys. since graduating school i have struggled with friendships and the anxiety has gotten worse. when covid started i started writing music and i want to be a full time musician some day. but recently i lost interest in music all together and i cant understand why. im exhausted all the time now. i mean i did just get a job, but that didnt help my happiness. idk if depression or anxiety or im just an idiot for thinking i have problems. how long can one last whilst silently suffering. not long i suspect  

[Centaured]

G'day Rocketman, nice to see you. 

Have you thought about reaching out to a GP about how you are feeling, they might provide some help and clarity into how you are feeling, offer support and direct you to other services like a psychologist if that is needed. Psychologists can help you figure out your anxiety and depression and find a way forward. 

What do you think is the major thing stopping you in following your dreams right now. What do you think gets in the way. 

You are so brave for reaching out. I commend you, not everyone is that brave. Is shows strength and courage so I think you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. 

With your suicidal ideation are you able to stay safe at the moment or do you need extra support around you. There's services like lifeline you can call when you feel down or suicidal and if things get really you can call 000 or present to the emergency department. 

Thank you for posting. Please take care and stay safe. 

[Sophie_M]

Hi rocketman,

Thank you for sharing with us on the forum tonight. What a difficult time you've been having.. It takes so much courage to share as openly as you have and we want you to know that we think you've shown so much resilience, courage and insight in your post.

We do hear how tired you are of it all, though rocketman. It really is an overwhelmingly difficult task to be feeling like you have been struggling on through all of this for the past 2 years! And all alone, as you've not shared this with anyone until now.

You're amongst friends here, rocketman, and we accept you just as you are, so please continue to post and contribute to others posts as well.

Obviously we're concerned about you, and we've reached out to you privately tonight. Please check your inbox.

If at any time you don't feel you are safe, please don't hesitate to call 000 (triple zero), or present yourself to your nearest hospital emergency department for mental health care.

We're also here for you 24/7. Please call us on 1300 22 4636, or visit our online chat. There's also Lifeline and/or the Suicide Call Back Service, and our Suicide Safety Planning App "Beyond Now" - all here for you to stay safe and to support you however best we can. KidsHelpLine is also another great support line (they support up to 25 year olds), so please don't stay alone in this. 

We hope to hear from you soon,

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[Petal22]

Hi rocketman,

Im sorry you are feeling this way I understand it’s hard.

You have every right to be here and and to tell people you are struggling, your important and you deserve all of the support available to you.

As Centaured has mentioned have you thought about having a chat to your gp about the way you are currently feeling and what you are experiencing? 

There is help available to you, you could see a phycologist if you want to and they can give you many strategies for anxiety.

Follow your dreams 😊 believe in yourself .

Remember that the minute you take your first step into the life of your dreams, the first to greet you will be fear. Nod. Keep walking 

You really can reach your full potential but first you need to do your inner work and this work also involves letting go of fear.

Once you can let go of fear then you will realise your full potential and far you can go and live the life of your dreams.

Reach for it and don’t limit yourself.