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Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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coco1691 My mum is only 57 and has a painful 3cm lump on her breast.
  • replies: 3

So im back again after a couple years. My aunt and uncle have just passed in the span of a year. My mum had cancer on her face and we had to wait 2 months for it to be removed as it was huge. I was a ball of stress and sadness then and now shes found... View more

So im back again after a couple years. My aunt and uncle have just passed in the span of a year. My mum had cancer on her face and we had to wait 2 months for it to be removed as it was huge. I was a ball of stress and sadness then and now shes found a lump on her breast that is sore and the pain is going up into her under arm. I cant lose my mum! She is my everything. My only reason to live. I wont live without her! Im 31 now. Im so scared and dont know if i can wait for her to get treatment or a biopsy. I have to wait another 2 to 7 days for a biopsy then another week for results and then they talk about treatment. I am trying so hard to be strong for her because i know shes scared. Im sitting here with tears rolling down my face thinking of self harming because I just am not coping at all. I feel like everyone around me is dying. I cant cope with anything right now. I dont have a partner and my friends have their own issues. I dont know what to do or how to handle it and having BPD its just making everything so much worse. I dont know what to do. I need her to be okay.

confirmed08 Stuck in a cycle and afraid
  • replies: 28

Hey back again. it’s been a couple months now since I last posted and safe to say things have not improved, and in some aspects worsened quite a bit. my girlfriend of one year broke up with me in september and I’ve not been able to forget her ever si... View more

Hey back again. it’s been a couple months now since I last posted and safe to say things have not improved, and in some aspects worsened quite a bit. my girlfriend of one year broke up with me in september and I’ve not been able to forget her ever since. this combined with year 12 exams really took it toll, and now I’m starting to lose sight of anything positive in my world. and I know that’s so selfish and I hate myself for being suicidal. I’ve got so much to be grateful for, so much more than many yet I don’t want to continue anymore. I contacted her for the first time in a month or so on boxing day and that only made things worse. she is so happy, she’s just got a car at 17, a new phone, she looks amazing. I’m happy for her, I always said I wanted the best for her and I did not matter. suppose I got what I wanted. can’t see an end to this cycle anytime soon, and honestly it’s hard to convince myself I’m worth the time and effort to fix anymore. it’s not worth, I’m too far gone, I’ve left it too late

Bubble44 I don't want to kill myself, but I want to die.
  • replies: 2

(For the record I don't intend to kill myself, I don't have any specific plans on that and I am in a safe place) I'm tired. I'm so tired. I've fought so hard, and for so long. My family abused me, so I found friends. That was incredibly difficult to ... View more

(For the record I don't intend to kill myself, I don't have any specific plans on that and I am in a safe place) I'm tired. I'm so tired. I've fought so hard, and for so long. My family abused me, so I found friends. That was incredibly difficult to achieve as I was crawling out of a pit of depression. Then after all that, I discovered I was worth nothing to people who meant everything to me. One of my friends tried to hurt someone and did specific things to ruin my life specifically (I found out about both things at the same time. I didn't just draw the line when he turned on me). My 'friends' admitted he was entirely in the wrong, then cut me out of their lives. You'd think I murdered someone. But nope. I'm just me. Apparently being an introvert struggling with depression and loneliness is worse than what they did. Everywhere I go I wonder, will people tolerate me, or will they hate me? I've left two jobs because I was treated like a leper. In one of them - I know it sounds arrogant but it's the truth - I was single handedly keeping the department going but my boss and most people there hated me. Someone refuses to do work for 6 hours? No problem. My desk is untidy? Time to treat me like shit. Because I'm not a likeable person. Doesn't matter what I do. I've settled at my current job because I'm tolerated. They're nice people, and easy to work with. They don't want to be around me though. They always hesitate to invite me to things try to avoid it entirely. And if I'm there, I'm treated like a piece of furniture. No one wants to talk to me. And before people say "oh you've just got to work on getting better at talking to people and being more charismatic" or something, I did that. I already did it. And it didn't matter. I've given up on having a partner too. I only even had my first girlfriend at 21. The only girls who are ever interested in me either have low self esteem and feel like they have no choice but to settle on me, or they've had their own mental issues and have learned not to judge. To the rest, I'm weak. I'm a thing. To everyone really. I'm tired. I've had enough. And I'm not religious. I know there's no happy place waiting for me after death. And I still want to die. I just don't want to be in pain anymore. I tried. I fought. I gave it everything I had. And I lost.

Rarra Uncomfortable thoughts
  • replies: 3

I'm feeling physical pain from my depression. I have this crushing pressure in my chest and the desire to get outside of my own skin to escape it. Suicide is popping into my thoughts a lot and I feel so disconnected and lonely. My mental health had s... View more

I'm feeling physical pain from my depression. I have this crushing pressure in my chest and the desire to get outside of my own skin to escape it. Suicide is popping into my thoughts a lot and I feel so disconnected and lonely. My mental health had seemed quite good for the last few months but this last week I have taken a bad turn and the thoughts and feelings that are circling around me are uncomfortable and relentless. Any former coping doesn't seem to be as effective.

WishingQuitter What Am I Doing Here??
  • replies: 3

I have a deep hate for myself. There isn’t actually anything wrong with me, and I guess that might be a part of the problem. I often wish I could be diagnosed with something that would explain my unhappiness, but I feel too silly for asking to see so... View more

I have a deep hate for myself. There isn’t actually anything wrong with me, and I guess that might be a part of the problem. I often wish I could be diagnosed with something that would explain my unhappiness, but I feel too silly for asking to see someone who could help with that. I feel like, deep down, it’s could all just be me seeking attention. I seem to never truly be happy? I have plenty of friends but on some level I feel disconnected to them. They’re nice people and we are all close, but I always catch myself thinking things like if they were to get rid of a member of the group, it would be me. Call them intrusive thoughts if you like; I think I get them often. I hate school, too, even though nothing actually goes wrong there. I know what I should do to feel better. ‘Eat healthy, connect socially, sleep often etc.’ but I don’t want to. Call me selfish, but I don’t want to be okay by myself. I want somebody to notice and do everything for me because I lack the energy to do it on my own. I want to go to sleep and never wake up. Even though I have passions and dreams for the future, it’s all too far away and I’d rather just give up now; I’m just too scared to. The problem is, I shouldn’t have a problem. I look at everyone else’s threads and they all have things that account for their sadness, and I don’t. I’m a stupid, selfish attention seeker and I don’t want to be here.

Hopelesslee A waste of space
  • replies: 16

Hello, my name is Lee-Ann Thank you for allowing me to join your community and feel safe sharing my not so happy thoughts and feelings. Ive been alone for 5 years now, no friends, extremely minimal family contact with one member and I feel like I’m t... View more

Hello, my name is Lee-Ann Thank you for allowing me to join your community and feel safe sharing my not so happy thoughts and feelings. Ive been alone for 5 years now, no friends, extremely minimal family contact with one member and I feel like I’m the only one on the planet. I’m not sure how this site works yet but I hope someone can hear me.. I keep wondering if this would be a good year to stop the pain.

H-c Paranoia
  • replies: 20

I really don’t know what’s wrong with me anymore . So long story short this is my third time typing this because i kept on accidentally deleting it so I’m having these really intense paranoia these past few weeks and i dont know why. I know I’m not s... View more

I really don’t know what’s wrong with me anymore . So long story short this is my third time typing this because i kept on accidentally deleting it so I’m having these really intense paranoia these past few weeks and i dont know why. I know I’m not some important person but still. So I’m really paranoid about my security and i need to scan my phone with two different antivirus software to make sure that I dont have any malware or spyware on my phone. It’s not like I’m doing dodgy stuff but it’d be nice to be safe. So i was out on a walk today and as i was walking i really didn't pay attention to my surrounding so i didn't see the aircon leaking water. So as i was walking the leaking water from the air condition happened to went into my eye. New fear unlocked! i’m now really paranoid what if they can see what I’m seeing because they have a tracking device in the water? Is it possible? Can you track someone by putting droplets of water into their eyes? As in will you be able to see what they’re seeing? please help me i cant do this anymore Being alive is starting to get really tiring. note: kinda funny how my first thought when the leaking water went into my eye was that and not oh no what if i get an eye infection

Bella_Staffy_x_Doberman Suicidal Thoughts / Control Issues?
  • replies: 2

Hi, So I'm not really sure where to start but in a way I'm a control freak I guess (I don't want to control other people) but I feel the need to have control of what happens to me. For example I became rather unwell in late 2020 (Cerebellar Ataxia) I... View more

Hi, So I'm not really sure where to start but in a way I'm a control freak I guess (I don't want to control other people) but I feel the need to have control of what happens to me. For example I became rather unwell in late 2020 (Cerebellar Ataxia) I used to be able to walk like normal people now while I have made an improvement I still require the use of a walker to prevent falling over. I'm only 32 so yeah it was pretty scary having my life turned upside down. Since I felt like I had no control I was Suicidal - which is nothing new to me I've tried a number of times of taking my life since I was about 5. I haven't tried for maybe 6 years now but I've often had thoughts when I feel like I have no control. I'm pretty self aware I know it isn't 'normal' which is why I tell people I have these thoughts and people have thought I do it to black mail them - which isn't the case. I do it because I feel helpless and backed into a corner and it makes me want to regain control. I've worked with a number of people about changing my ways but while I made improvements it's something that will take time to make changes I could write a few pages on why and what I feel but that's my issue I got to deal with not others... a bit side tracked sorry. The issue tonight is Centrelink in all their wise choices are saying I must look for work (I'm on DSP) or I'll lose my payments - I'm not someone that just wants to collect money and do nothing with my life - I'd much rather work then not work but due to my health and treatments that I'm undergoing I can't. I'm going to get my lovely wife to call centre link tomorrow and see if that can be changed... but at the end of the day I'd rather suicide then be forced into something that I'm not ready for.. Yes extreme and it's not something I want but at least I have some control and not forced into something I'm unable to do. Thanks for those that reading. ~Regards R

JustAnYtka Intrusive thoughts
  • replies: 5

I've been getting intrusive thoughts randomly for a month or so. I haven't had a chance to talk about it with my psychologist but I have a session in a couple days. The thoughts usually are about hurting myself or ending my life. I know I'm safe but ... View more

I've been getting intrusive thoughts randomly for a month or so. I haven't had a chance to talk about it with my psychologist but I have a session in a couple days. The thoughts usually are about hurting myself or ending my life. I know I'm safe but it can be really hard to get through the thoughts. Does anyone have any strategies to block/stop intrusive thoughts? Thanks, Bee

Izabella Parents Misunderstanding
  • replies: 3

Warning: Please do not read this if you get triggered by suicidal people. I don't intend any harm and I am only here to seek support. I don't know if I'm the only one feeling like some parents will never understand the pain we feel. I am feeling unst... View more

Warning: Please do not read this if you get triggered by suicidal people. I don't intend any harm and I am only here to seek support. I don't know if I'm the only one feeling like some parents will never understand the pain we feel. I am feeling unstable and have communicated with them in an honest manner. I don't feel safe alone with the self-harm and suicidal thoughts. All they do is give me lectures or solutions to deal with my depression. I am hurt when my Mom tells me to snap out of it or that there are others with worse problems. I am trying so hard to stay strong and can barely hold it together. I'm so tired.