I'm not sure what to do and I'm scared

[Sciencegirl]

Hi all,

I'm not sure what to do. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a few years, since I was in about grade 9 and recently things have gotten worse again. I have seen the doctor and increased my medication (it's been a few weeks now) was seeing a counsellor for a couple times before I could get my old psychologist back which I have now had one session and see him again Wednesday.

I have been up to the hospital (just the general Hospital) 3 times in the last couple weeks, 2 was because I harmed myself. The harm itself wasn't 'bad' but the thoughts just got too much. It was scary but also good because at least I am safe there.

So, I'm getting help and I'm trying to do things to help but the thoughts and feelings are still there. The last two days have been very hard it was a week since I went to hospital and harmed myself, but I did harm myself last night and was not sure whether to go to the hospital because the harm in itself isn't bad- it's my thoughts and I don't feel safe. But I also don't feel safe because of anxiety so I'm really struggling with what to do.

Today something happened that really triggered my anxiety and Ive had bad thoughts. I'm just scared because I'm not sure what more the hospital can do and I'm not sure how to get through this.

Thankyou for whoever listens to this 🙂

[Sophie_M]

Hi Sciencegirl, 

Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings here. We know it can be daunting to write a post like this, especially when you struggling,  We're sorry to hear how difficult it has been for you. We're so glad to hear that you've been able to go to the hospital when you've needed that support. 

Please know that you've come to a safe, non-judgemental space to talk things through and our community is here to offer as much support, advice, and conversation as you need. We're sure that a lot of our community members can relate to these feelings and hopefully, some of them will pop by to offer you words of wisdom and kindness.

In the meantime, if you believe it could be helpful, you may like to speak with a counselor - Lifeline (13 11 14) and/or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467) are ready to listen, any time of the day or night. Please continue to reach out for support, particularly if you're finding it really challenging to keep yourself self.