Nothing to look forward to

[Dreamergirl]

Hi. I'm a 40 year old Single Mum. I struggle with mental illness and have been in and out of hospital for much of my adult life. I have two adorable children. It's just I have nothing else in my life. I feel like a failure. I have no job, no hope of finding one either. I have no partner and I have no hope of finding romance either. I still depend too much on my parents, it's pathetic. I don't have much in the way of friendships.

Growing up, I had big dreams... career, family, travel... etc. Adventure. Now my possibilities seem quite limited.

Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for my kids in my life. But is this it? Is this all?

I'm a loser in the eyes of society.

I wish I could fit in and be a part of life.

[Sophie_M]

Dear Dreamergirl,
Welcome to our friendly online community, we are so glad you decided to join us here. We know it can be hard to write the first post, so thank you for having the courage.
We're sure that a lot of our community members will relate to these feelings and hopefully some of them will pop by to offer you words of wisdom and kindness.
If things are feeling too much tonight, please give us a ring. So we can help to keep your safe. There are also a few other phone and web services that could be of help:
Lifeline 13 11 14
Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467
beyondblue Support Service 1300 22 4636
It can be really tough to make the step to make a call but the people who answer the phone are kind and helpful. They speak to people about this everyday and can offer useful advice. You don't have to go through this alone.

Hopefully we'll hear from the community at some point. In the meantime, we hope you're able to be kind to yourself, and to feel some pride in the bravery it took to post here today. 

Kind regards,

Sophie M

[geoff]

Hello Dreamergirl, a warm welcome to the forums.

Please note that you aren't a failure, no one can possibly blame anything of this on you and if they have the audacity to do so, then I too have been a disappointment to everyone, this time in your life, this illness seems to have taken control over you, but at the moment it's getting you the help you need.

When you are feeling like this, then your parents may have been the backstop for your kids and as they grow up will realise that this is an illness that's finally being told now, rather than pushing it under the carpet and kept quiet.

Your dreams of what you want to achieve are still possible but probably not now, as travelling and adventure may not be viable just yet, because if you are away there could be problems that can affect how you are.

I only say this because when I was depressed, going away with my family didn't improve my mood as I just wanted to be at home.

Just let your kids know that one day this may happen, once you get the confidence with the help from counselling and that it's possible for your moods to alter which you are getting all the assistance you can.

A single parent with kids may find this period very difficult and many people will appreciate how you are feeling, but if you can take it day by day, because if you look too far into the future, you don't know the hurdles you have to jump or whether they will be easy or not.

Take care and get better first.

Geoff. x

[Sophia16]

Hi,

Welcome to the Beyond Blue forums and thank you for sharing your story. I can see that you are struggling and feeling a lot of pain.

It breaks my heart that you think having a mental illness and relying on your parents means you are a failure to society. Just remember age is just a number. No one expects anything from you and life is different for everyone.

You seem like such a beautiful person in and out. You have so many possibilities. Just because you have kids, it doesn't mean your life has ended. You can still live your life.

Stay safe and i am always here to chat.