Hi welcome
After decades of mental health issues some things ive discovered is concrete. Things like moods, excitement, depression and energy come and go in cycles. When we are "up" we think we'll stay there but we dont.
So when we fall we seek to escape because we blame ourselves for failing to remain stable (like everyone else). Your action of deleting friends from social media is sad and desperate, a rejection of your world will not produce retaliation from friends as they have no method to connect. Such isolation is preferable than "facing the music" from dumbfounded friends. But cutting ties has consequences as you've found out.
What i think is that some of us have to go through these actions and regret them so we learn what not to do. Most others have such wisdom from early on in life but some like you and I have to learn the hard way.
But all is not lost, there's hope. If you were to try to rebond with those friends most wont want to because they dont have the capacity to do so. These people dont deserve your friendship. On social media this will reduce the number of friends but better quality- kind people. They the best ones.
Sometimes drastic change is needed after all your mental health is priority. So if you decide your education isnt sustainable you might feel happier seeking a part time job or two (not full time as that's taxing).
I think you've done really well with your life in many ways and I can sense you're kind.
"Of all little piggies the one with a straight tail gets shunned... until she uses her pointy tail to rescue the others stuck in the mud by getting them to hold her tail"
Uniqueness, kindness, hope and loving yourself is the key to your future. Relax, take deep breath and keep trying but accept than falling over happens no matter what.
Reply anytime. How do you feel now?
TonyWK
