Embarrassed

[Gav71]

I’m 50yro still act like I’m only 20 I’ve had a hard life been belittled at school and at a lot of jobs even abused by a bossAlcohol has Been my go too since I was 13 started smoking at 9.I know alcohol is a deppresent yet it’s my drug of choice but as I sit here night after night fighting suicide thoughts alone wow I drink more and I don’t stop.Im a functual alcoholic as I’m writing this it’s 2am and I start work at 8am yet I don’t sleep real good as I mentioned earlier my young life haunts me night after night self worth zero I even feel like a low life in front of my kids Every night now I force myself not to go and do the end but it’s getting harder

[Sophie_M]

Dear Gav71,

It takes a lot of strength and courage to write such a heart-felt post about your intense struggles. We are a helpful and supportive community here.

We understand that you have lived quite an intense life with quite a bit of trauma. And, you are to be commended for finding the strength to survive, and to continue to be here for your children who need you very much. We would encourage you to continue focusing on your love for your children, and their love for you, to help you continue being here for them.

Are you under the care of a GP? If so, we would encourage you to meet with your GP to set up a Mental Health plan. If not, we would encourage you to get yourself signed up with a GP.

We hear you saying you want to change, but don't know how. Please try to remember, change starts with the little things, not the big things. Once the little things come into play, the big thing can become little.

We are always here for you.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.
 

[geoff]

Hello Gav, it certainly does take a brave person to open up to other people regarding not only an addiction but also problems concerned, because many years ago I was in the same position.

If I can say that past problems people have, can lay the foundation for oncoming problems that usually you could stop, creating a wide spread collection you try and battle with.

The alcohol as a side effect is able to convince you of many solutions that you wouldn't believe when you're sober, perhaps that's the reason why we drink to solve a situation we couldn't achieve.

I can feel your pain and want to keep talking with you when you are available and if I'm not present, others will reply back to you and I will go searching for your reply.

Take care.

Geoff.

[Chris_Tas]

You'll be fine mate.

Whatever you do don't give in and stay safe.

I was an UNfunctional alcohilc with many hospital visits and at the moment struggling a bit.

However life is a gift so embrace it and you'll be fine in time.

Chris

[Petal22]

Hi Gav71,

Wellcome to our forums.

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

I understand that an addiction of any kind can be challenging to deal with.

Im sorry that you have a lot in your past that keeps coming up, sometimes if we don’t deal with the things that have caused us pain in the past they will keep coming to the surface until we acknowledge it and in turn deal with it and heal.

You really can learn to heal and in turn move forward.

Have you ever seeked professional help for what you are experiencing?

The help is out there and you really can recover in time.

[geoff]

Hello Gav, how are you going.

Geoff.