Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Starting over

replies: 2

Hi all,this is my first time posting. I've been looking through some of the threads and have found some comfort in knowing I'm not the lone ranger. I'm 57 but feeling 87 right now, a few weeks ago I tried and obviously failed to end my life. I've spent 2 weeks in a psychiatric unit and been home a week. It's all been a long time coming as I've had depression for many years. I couldn't find a way to stay before but now I realise it is down to me to keep going and maybe one day I'll find that reason. I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder along with chronic depression and a few other problems, does that make me crazy? I'm really not sure but guess I will figure it out eventually. Right now I'm still trying to figure out why one of my two sons is being so nice and trying his best to support me and the younger son refuses to talk to me. This is giving me more heartache than anything else. My brothers were OK with me after they all got through yelling at me but I have to say I have resented the lectures.Friends are either angry at me or supporting me from a distance which also doesn't really help. Not really sure what I wanted to say here except to say I'm still here and trying to get through this time one day at a time and some days, it's one hour at a time. Sending everyone here love and hugs and wishing everyone a bit of laughter in their life

Loneliness, isolation, suffering and lack of support is going to kill me

replies: 6

I had a serious and rare diagnosis 20 months ago and my mortality was thrown in my face. its brought up my shocking upbringing and trauma I have endured and I have worked hard to make a good life from all the horror but now this. I turn to my friends. and family and I am ignored. I asked my sister and best friend for company -expressed clearly my loneliness and sadness and that I was suicidal. hey ignored me (I am safe right now - just) I have messaged about 3 other friends explaining this and reaching out even telling them what happened - I can see they read the message and they didn't reply. My husband went away to work like 2 states away knowing I was in this lonely place and had just gotten out of psych hospital for being suicidal. My older daughter lives over the border with my grandkids and she knows how troubled I am and barely calls barely meets up. I now realise its all me who makes the effort in these relationships. My Dr gave her a letter so she can come here to give me support but she never used it. My younger child is a teen so she's always out. My one friend this side of the border had asked me over and cancelled. I don't know how long I can hang in there and I'm wondering what im hanging in there for. im getting sicker and sicker I have treatments every 3wks at oncology ward, I have no quality of life and a lot of chronic pain and fatigue but I make the effort for everyone else and they take advantage of it and push me for their needs and when I need them they are nowhere. I can't cope with this, I guess I just need to vent and a chat. im trying my best to get thru until these borders open. Someone has caused me to be suicidal as I am treated like a criminal crossing for my life saving treatments and I can't see my family. She's taken my only happiness my grandkids.

Partner left me

replies: 14

Hi, I am Chris, I suffer depression and have done for a long time, sadly my partner is my life, I mean my life, left me in September after 27 years sighting issues over our relationship… it is breaking my heart, everyone says it gets easier with time, however it’s getting harder for me…. I I have been self harming to help with the pain, however it doesn’t help .. even attempted to take my life 4 weeks ago, she says she is broken and no longer wants a relationship … it’s made my depression worse , I am 46, have no friends as I isolated myself with depression … I have 2 wonderful kids whom make me want to live but I can’t concentrate , constant crying, headaches intermittent eating … being sick … I know she won’t come back she has made it clear … but I can’t go on without her, she has been there for me since I was 19 …. Now when I need her most she deserts me. I am at a loss with what to do, my GP has me on mood and depression tablets they do not help .. make me drowsy and sleepy but doesn’t take the pain away as said 2 months and pain gets worse I have no family …. I just wanted to air, thank you for reading this if you choose. chris

cant take much more

replies: 2

Im a dad of 3 beautiful children, a husband and an uncle to 4 amazing children i love as if they were my own yet im ready to say life is just too hard. I lost my mum, nonno and aunty in 2019 and my dad is 2008, i have battled my sexuality and gender every day since i was a teenager and honestly its broken me. The kids are the only reason i am still here because everyone else i love has gone to what ever comes next. I just dont have a purpose for keeping on going anymore and its scaring me. I cant speak to my wife about it because she just says "What do you want me to say" or "i dont know what to say", i cant speak to my inlaws because my FIL would probably fly in to a rage and my mates all have their own lives now and i wont burden them

Still struggling here

replies: 4

I thought I shook off the thought but here I am again. The trigger was so small. Tonight we went out for dinner and the food was disappointing. I tried not to let it get to me but after coming back I couldn’t help thinking of hurting myself. I know I... View more

do i tell my teacher? but it's not really an issue?

replies: 7

I told myself it wasn't really self harm, maybe just some self destructive behaviours idk but I've been more and more tempted to follow through with these destructive behaviours each day and part of me started because I wanted a secret and to tell myself I was actually in some sort of pain but it's gotten addictive but it's not that bad and I would like to tell my teacher but I have no idea how and would probably also get in trouble and also don't need parents to know, you know?

Me and my sadness

replies: 8

Please anyone talk to me. I want to know what people have been through because I’m going through a really hard time myself. I’m always sad, and don’t like school or anyone there. Please help me. My time is running out because I’m going to drown in my own sadness…… and never return. I don’t want to be here, there’s literally NO purpose in life or living. Humans just destroy the world anyway. And I don’t need to be here, nobody cares or loves/likes me so don’t have a reason to be here. It’s not like anyone will miss me or J have a purpose to live.

Scrambled

replies: 746

Hi. I am a survivor of childhood sexual assult and suffer with PTSD. I have been working really hard on my journey to wellness (seeing a psychologist, mindfulness, lots of self care etc) but some days I can't even think in a straight line, my head just feels scrambled. During my therapy I have become the master of avoidance and I over organise and plan for sessions before I go so that i take the safe way out and avoid the exposure therapy I should be doing. I don't even mean to do it but the instinct to protect myself is so strong. I'm a couple of days out from my next appointment so I'm thinking that's why I'm feeling so muddled but I feel that it's getting in the way of me making more progress during these sessions. Any suggestions on how to help in this situation??

Stuck in limbo

replies: 7

I've suffered from depression and anxiety as long as I can remember, so suicidal thoughts have just been part of the landscape for me but I gradually learned to sort of ignore them. Unfortunately I was recently struck by a sort of double tragedy. I'm losing my wife (in the sense that she doesn't love me anymore) due to her own issues with anxiety. She was the absolute highlight of my life and I always treated her that way, but that wasn't enough. I have no support system at all, so I decided to contact one of the only 2 other people in my life who really ever knew me. I hadn't talked to her in years, but when I looked her up the first thing I saw was her obituary. In the past I could always find some kind of vague sense of hope to keep going, even if it was sometimes only a vague notion that things would get better somehow. Now the only thing that is keeping me alive is the knowledge of what my death would do to my wife, yet every moment of every day consists of me either crying or feeling abject emptiness. Can't die, but can't live either. My gp, therapist, and psychiatrist are all well aware of my situation. I've been on every class of antidepressant available, including antipsychotics and mood stabilizers, but nothing has any effect on me. I've been referred for TMS and "a certain party drug now used to treat depression" (can't say the name on here). Failing those, my psychiatrist wants me to get ECT, but I don't know how I can deal financially with 6 weeks off work as this would also impact my wife. It's even hard to see the point in any of those, as literally nobody cares whether I live or die apart from the sense of guilt that taking my own life would bring them. Such an odd feeling, given that I wouldn't be around to see the impact anyway. I don't know why I'm even writing this. Guess I just needed to whinge a bit more despite the fact that it doesn't really fix anything. Having said that, I do feel like if I'm not going to die then I should at least lend my life to someone/something that can use it. Better than just being a net waste of resources.

I’m lost

replies: 5

Single mum of 2 kids I’ve lost myself in the process recently left a DV relationship that lasted a while and feel I’m stick stuck on his every move, we are on good terms now but feels like it’s just on his terms don’t know how to get of this merry go... View more

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Starting over replies: 2

Loneliness, isolation, suffering and lack of support is going to kill me replies: 6

Partner left me replies: 14

cant take much more replies: 2

Still struggling here replies: 4

do i tell my teacher? but it's not really an issue? replies: 7

Me and my sadness replies: 8

Scrambled replies: 746

Stuck in limbo replies: 7

I’m lost replies: 5