Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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I'm not sure what to do and I'm scared

replies: 1

Hi all, I'm not sure what to do. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a few years, since I was in about grade 9 and recently things have gotten worse again. I have seen the doctor and increased my medication (it's been a few weeks now) was seeing a counsellor for a couple times before I could get my old psychologist back which I have now had one session and see him again Wednesday. I have been up to the hospital (just the general Hospital) 3 times in the last couple weeks, 2 was because I harmed myself. The harm itself wasn't 'bad' but the thoughts just got too much. It was scary but also good because at least I am safe there. So, I'm getting help and I'm trying to do things to help but the thoughts and feelings are still there. The last two days have been very hard it was a week since I went to hospital and harmed myself, but I did harm myself last night and was not sure whether to go to the hospital because the harm in itself isn't bad- it's my thoughts and I don't feel safe. But I also don't feel safe because of anxiety so I'm really struggling with what to do. Today something happened that really triggered my anxiety and Ive had bad thoughts. I'm just scared because I'm not sure what more the hospital can do and I'm not sure how to get through this. Thankyou for whoever listens to this

Nothing to look forward to

replies: 3

Hi. I'm a 40 year old Single Mum. I struggle with mental illness and have been in and out of hospital for much of my adult life. I have two adorable children. It's just I have nothing else in my life. I feel like a failure. I have no job, no hope of finding one either. I have no partner and I have no hope of finding romance either. I still depend too much on my parents, it's pathetic. I don't have much in the way of friendships. Growing up, I had big dreams... career, family, travel... etc. Adventure. Now my possibilities seem quite limited. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for my kids in my life. But is this it? Is this all? I'm a loser in the eyes of society. I wish I could fit in and be a part of life.

I think about taking my life frequently

replies: 3

I try to be a good mother, partner, housewife, employee….. but I feel like I fail in all aspects. I had a terrible childhood of physical and verbal abuse. I smack my 5 year old daughter at times and I absolutely hate it. I have a 1.5 year old also and he just laughs when my husband and I are arguing. It breaks my heart. I have a plan in my head on how I will do it. I’ve had that plan in my head for the last 3 years. Why have I not gone ahead and just done it???? My house is always a mess, I try my best at work, I try to spend quality time with my two children who I love so dearly. How am I supposed to deal with someone who’s constantly telling me how bad I am at being a parent. Who’s constantly telling me that he’s going to sell all the houses, buy a bus and take the kids. Who constantly tells me that I am the problem in this family. Who constantly tells me that I blame everyone else for my issues. How am I supposed to deal with that? Yes he’s hurting but how is this supposed to make me feel. When I say stop and he doesn’t stop. He pushed me twice today. Never been violent before. The first time he pushed me I accidentally stood on our youngest leg as he was lying on the ground. The second time he pushed me he followed with kicking and another push. I don’t know if it’ll get worse. He says I wind him up? I feel so worthless, so hopeless, not worth being here, like they are all better off without me here.

Can't do this

replies: 4

I'm ready to end it. I can't do this anymore. I feel like I'm choking to death on my tears and pain. I just can't.

I keep on thinking about death

replies: 17

All I can think about is death, I honestly don't know why I should even try anymore. The voices in my head are telling me to hurt myself but I can't hurt myself right now. I don't want to be here and I'm at the point where I think I need someones help or to go to a hospital or something because I can handle this. A while ago someone told me to go to a pysch ward but I don't know what to do (I'm safe).

Partner runs away when I'm suffering

replies: 8

This is the third time time in 8 months that my partner has abandoned me while i'm in crisis. First time i was bedridden with illness for 2 weeks, he obviously couldn't cope. Second time was the anniversary of my mother's death. He didn't understand my grief. A couple of weeks ago my best friend woke up in hospital, almost died. My dog is dying. Last week he was trying to put me in hospital to help me after self harming. That same day he packed his car (I didn't know this) and next day he was gone. I've been getting help from local mental health people & have more appointments next week. Why must he abandon me? His way of dealing with things is to pretend they don't exist, so right now it's me who doesn't exist. I'm angry. I'm also super strong. I'm also fragile & vulnerable. I'm spending my time caring for my dog and trying to care for myself but the self harm has increased and I don't want to be here anymore. Sending love to all those who are suffering alone.

Definitely unsure about this forum

replies: 26

I have tried to be positive about using this forum but really unsure. For me some of the replies seem formulaic and gubgho positive, not from someone who really does understand. I am older, tired, depressed and yes at times I self harm and am suicidal. I do see a psychiatrist but even after 18 months not really getting anywhere. I have chosen to gradually take myself off all antidepressants over the 7 weeks they are away. Truthfully no difference that I have noted. Before I was suicidal, depressed and harmed. Now suicidal, depressed and self harm. Not sure trying this type of forum is any use at all.

Reaching out and remaining anonymous

replies: 12

Hi, new to this forum. Been struggling with some really really dark thoughts of late. I am a front-line worker in a hospital and the workload of late has been absolutely ridiculous. I, as we all are am feeling absolutely broken and burnt out. On top of this, I have been working through some really traumatic experiences with a therapist of late. It leaves me with this pervasive dark cloud over my head that follows me everywhere. My whole body feels heavy and most days I struggle to even get out of bed. I find myself crying in the car on the way to work, then crying on the way home again. I am having some really intrusive suicidal thoughts. Though I desperately wish I could just quietly slip out of this life one day. I stop myself because I feel so so guilty to hurt others around me and also my family. I have considered ringing a helpline during some really dark times. Can you just ring them for a chat without the fear of any intervention on their part? Thanks, Pandemica

Hard to talk always keep it to myself.

replies: 4

Really don't know how to start I'm probs using this page wrong and telling too much info. My Dr said this a great site to start talking about the things that are hard to talk about. Ever since I was young I always knew I was different but didn't quite understand why couldn't even understand why I wanted to die at the age of 11. At almost 27 now I get flashbacks about suppressed memories and understand things as to why I am the way I am. People always made me think I did everything wrong or that I was a bad person or treated me differently cause I was shy and the fat kid. No one cares about the fat kid. I think that and the bullying made me lose weight as I got older added to my depression and anxiety and helped me develope eating disorders. My father did drugs and was really scary when he drank or got mad but for some reason I was always by his side. I now know I was trauma bonded with him. I loved him no matter how bad things got between us I know he loved and cared for me but at the same time the drugs turnt him into something he wasn't. When he was on drugs he was my pilot dad the lights were on but no one was home. Sober dad was my dad I loved him so much. It pains me to talk about him in this way which makes it hard since I watched him die almost 5 years ago. As I got older he was like my kid. It was us against the world even though when he was on the drugs I had to deal with someone who I couldnt recognise. I've always been the type to self-harm just to feel something other than mental pain. But after my dad passed I couldn't take it. I remembered my family and how I couldn't put them through anymore pain and another loss and also remembered I had loved ones to protect. I already regret talking about some of these things that happened in my life I swear I'm not loopy and no I'm not a danger to anyone but myself. I recently had two kids in the past 2 years and they have stopped me from ending it all I hate how my mind works. Theres so much more

Useless

replies: 1

Hi, Feeling pretty off this world. Yeah I know I have mental illness and all that. Everything just feels like a broken record. I don’t really cope well with the normal world challenges on top of that. The religious freedom bill debate has hit me hard, I try keep my identity hidden from the world anyway which is starting to get harder. I’ve been thinking about to stop hormones. And I don’t want to take my meds. Can’t really do that. I still don’t have a home and feel a bit lost. Yeah just upsets me a bit that I thought I made progress with my gender identity and now I wish I didn’t.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

I'm not sure what to do and I'm scared replies: 1

Nothing to look forward to replies: 3

I think about taking my life frequently replies: 3

Can't do this replies: 4

I keep on thinking about death replies: 17

Partner runs away when I'm suffering replies: 8

Definitely unsure about this forum replies: 26

Reaching out and remaining anonymous replies: 12

Hard to talk always keep it to myself. replies: 4

Useless replies: 1