Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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I'm just curious.

replies: 3

For the last couple of years, I've been getting impulsive(?) thoughts about me wanting to 'make myself blind' in a sense. I don't have any reason to do this, it's not like I want to be blind or anything similar to that, so I don't why the thought even crosses my mind sometimes. I often times envision what the future would look like if I were to do this, I feel like there's a common thread of me just wanting to seek attention, but those are usually irrelevant(just extremely common with my anxiety and such). What's more important than thinking about the future, is what would happen while I was actually to go through with it. When I think about that, I do in grotesque details; like how it might feel, how it would look, would I regret it, etc. but that doesn't deter me from ever thinking about it again. So I was curious if this is nothing but a strange fixation, or may be a part of a larger problem.

I think I'm addicted

replies: 4

I've been self-harming semi-on and off since 2018. Over the past year and more specifically the past few months, it hasn't stopped. I still don't know why I do it. Life's just gotten so hard because there's so much pressure for me to do well in year 12. People don't care anymore. Whenever someone notices they'll say something like 'not again' and just roll with it when I laugh it off. Maybe they just don't know what to do. The scariest thing is sometimes I do it even when I don't want to. Like, the other night I was in bed and I just started and I wanted to stop and I couldn't. I can't tell if I'm going to kill myself or not. I can't tell if I want to. I don't care about anything anymore. I use to care so much about the people I would be leaving behind. Now I just can't bring myself to care how they'd feel if I did go through with it. I probably won't. idk. Every single day this week has been depressive episode after anxiety attack after self-hatred. I just don't know how I'm supposed to do this for much longer. I'm not good at school, I can't bring myself to study and every time I try I get distracted or just stop out of nowhere. I'm going to fail everything and it's my own fault because I have no motivation to ever do anything. And everything I do do is wrong and bad. I keep getting conflicting advice. 'your atar won't matter, it's just a number'. 'it's going to get harder and you need to try harder'. 'you don't have to get into a uni'. 'just keep going a piece at a time and get things done'. I'm not good at this, and I can't get better at it. last night I was so tired that I passed out before i could self-harm. I still want to die. idk how to end this.

Keep wanting to be alone

replies: 4

Hi, This is the first time posting. Three years ago I tried to take my life due to depression which I tried to ignore since 2010 after my Dad died from cancer. My husband children and family were shocked and angry which was to be expected. It took a long time before my husband felt comfortable enough to go away with his friends and leave me home alone due to not trusting me to tell him truthfully how I am feeling. He has been very supportive and is a Great husband and father. I feel that I don't deserve him or my children . I have this overwhelming urge to pack up and go find a place somewhere away from everyone and everything. I've stopped talking or contacting friends because I always feel I'm the one reaching out or making an effort to see them. I feel people don't really like me. I don't like myself and can't blame them really. I've always struggled with a low self esteem and have tried so hard to like or love me but just lately I've really given up. I'm tired of being disappointed or let down. My husband has a great circle of friends and so do my children. My son and his partner live in the same city but we never see them. My daughter lives 5 hours away with her husband and children and we see them occasionally. What I'm trying to say is that they would all miss me for a little while but things would get better for them and me. In the past I have tried to encourage my husband to find someone else but he always says I'm the only one he wants. I feel like he is the only thing keeping me here stopping me from going away as i dont want to hurt him again like i did 3 years ago. Don't get me wrong I would not try and take my life I just want to go somewhere isolated away from everything.

Not good enough

replies: 7

Here goes, not sure where to start. I am 69yo been married to the most amazing man for 16years but I am jealous when he looks at other women. I feel I am old wrinkled and not trim taut and terrific anymore, he does not understand these feelings as he tells me all the time I am gorgeous. I have also told him that I do not mind him looking at other girls and I even point them out to him but the other day we saw two gorgeous young girls and I swear he was drooling and he muttered under his breath nice. I was so upset that I got angry he didnt understand what he had done wrong, and I cried for two days. I now find myself covering up I dont want him to see my ugly body. When I get like this I think of killing myself so that I can free him, I feel that maybe I have trapped him somehow... Sorry if I am rambling a bit. thanks for listening

Helping

replies: 1

I’ll start by introducing myself. Robert, 24 years of age from a small country town in regional Victoria. like most of us here I’ve been battling for some time now, only recently spoken freely about my battle, being an empath my calling is to help provide others with help which most of the time ends with me feeling overwhelmed and requiring help myself. I woke up one morning and said it’s time to stop feeling like a sad sack everyday, so that’s what I did I went and got the help I needed, tried to understand why I was feeling this way, how to overcome it and develop from there. battling depression isn’t always going to be a dark path, help yourself. You deserve to be happy.

What helps the most?

replies: 10

My husband has clinical depression and anxiety but in the last 6 months has refused to take his medication. Today I found him crying in the kitchen and he admitted to me that he just made an attempt on his life. This is his 3rd suicidal episode since we've met and I told myself after the 2nd time that if it happened again I would call an ambulance and have him placed on a 24 hour psychiatric hold. But now it has happened, I don't want to do that. Will it even help?? I want him to seek help but he refuses. What is the best thing someone did for you after an episode?

I didn’t feel safe today..

replies: 5

It’s been a while since I last posted. I’ve had a really bad day today (depression) and I was seriously considering ending it today. But I didn’t. I chose to go for a walk with my partner instead of waiting for him to go so I could do it. My partner is a psychiatric nurse and is extremely experienced with anything mental health. I told him this evening that I didn’t feel safe today.. was that the right thing to do? I regret telling him and I sort of regret not doing it in the first place. Im so sick of being in pain. Im so sick of being depressed but I know I deserve it.

I'm not sure what to do and I'm scared

replies: 1

Hi all, I'm not sure what to do. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for a few years, since I was in about grade 9 and recently things have gotten worse again. I have seen the doctor and increased my medication (it's been a few weeks now) was seeing a counsellor for a couple times before I could get my old psychologist back which I have now had one session and see him again Wednesday. I have been up to the hospital (just the general Hospital) 3 times in the last couple weeks, 2 was because I harmed myself. The harm itself wasn't 'bad' but the thoughts just got too much. It was scary but also good because at least I am safe there. So, I'm getting help and I'm trying to do things to help but the thoughts and feelings are still there. The last two days have been very hard it was a week since I went to hospital and harmed myself, but I did harm myself last night and was not sure whether to go to the hospital because the harm in itself isn't bad- it's my thoughts and I don't feel safe. But I also don't feel safe because of anxiety so I'm really struggling with what to do. Today something happened that really triggered my anxiety and Ive had bad thoughts. I'm just scared because I'm not sure what more the hospital can do and I'm not sure how to get through this. Thankyou for whoever listens to this

Nothing to look forward to

replies: 3

Hi. I'm a 40 year old Single Mum. I struggle with mental illness and have been in and out of hospital for much of my adult life. I have two adorable children. It's just I have nothing else in my life. I feel like a failure. I have no job, no hope of finding one either. I have no partner and I have no hope of finding romance either. I still depend too much on my parents, it's pathetic. I don't have much in the way of friendships. Growing up, I had big dreams... career, family, travel... etc. Adventure. Now my possibilities seem quite limited. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful for my kids in my life. But is this it? Is this all? I'm a loser in the eyes of society. I wish I could fit in and be a part of life.

I think about taking my life frequently

replies: 3

I try to be a good mother, partner, housewife, employee….. but I feel like I fail in all aspects. I had a terrible childhood of physical and verbal abuse. I smack my 5 year old daughter at times and I absolutely hate it. I have a 1.5 year old also and he just laughs when my husband and I are arguing. It breaks my heart. I have a plan in my head on how I will do it. I’ve had that plan in my head for the last 3 years. Why have I not gone ahead and just done it???? My house is always a mess, I try my best at work, I try to spend quality time with my two children who I love so dearly. How am I supposed to deal with someone who’s constantly telling me how bad I am at being a parent. Who’s constantly telling me that he’s going to sell all the houses, buy a bus and take the kids. Who constantly tells me that I am the problem in this family. Who constantly tells me that I blame everyone else for my issues. How am I supposed to deal with that? Yes he’s hurting but how is this supposed to make me feel. When I say stop and he doesn’t stop. He pushed me twice today. Never been violent before. The first time he pushed me I accidentally stood on our youngest leg as he was lying on the ground. The second time he pushed me he followed with kicking and another push. I don’t know if it’ll get worse. He says I wind him up? I feel so worthless, so hopeless, not worth being here, like they are all better off without me here.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

I'm just curious. replies: 3

I think I'm addicted replies: 4

Keep wanting to be alone replies: 4

Not good enough replies: 7

Helping replies: 1

What helps the most? replies: 10

I didn’t feel safe today.. replies: 5

I'm not sure what to do and I'm scared replies: 1

Nothing to look forward to replies: 3

I think about taking my life frequently replies: 3