Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Content with life.

replies: 6

Does anyone else ever feel like their life has peaked already? I am in my late 30s. I have some amazing memories of stuff I have done. So many dreams I had of things I wanted to do with my life, I have crossed them off. Things that I can never better. I bought a house, sold it, bought a car, paid it off in half the time of the loan. I lived to travel. I would work hard, save up, go travel. Come back broke and start again. Always planning the next one. Covid has changed me, no travel, my long distance relationship ended with the girl I was madly in love with. Couldn't see her for 16 months and I was already struggling with that. Before I was always so happy in life and never had bad days. I never understood about mental health issues because I thought life was amazing. And more-so when I came back from overseas when I first got together with my girlfriend. I got lots of comments from people about how happy I was. Slowly it ground away at me and now it's rare I have a happy day. Just go to work, get paid. Get tired, go home and sleep... I put that fake persona on for work pretending I am always in a great mood to serve customers.... All For what? I'm not taking the vaccine, too many reactions and people getting sick from it... which aren't being reported, only "it's good take it everyone go get it" I don't trust the government and the forcing of people to take it to keep jobs etc. It isn't tested enough for me. If everyone getting it is still alive in 1 or 2 years then I might consider it.... But I don't know if I want to stick around that long. I'm currently on a medical exemption of 6 months. So I can work and travel for 6 months. I am saving money. After it ends I probably can't work, can't travel so won't have much left. Will have to go back to my parents house and just be a burdon on them because I can't work and have my own place. And don't really want to because they were against the vaccine too but then suddenly changed and went and got it like they were brainwashed into it. Now are trying to tell me to get it so it want be a comfortable place to live anyway I have done so many great things and don't really have any further plans for my life than maybe get married. But that also isn't seeming likely. I am starting to feel like it might be better to just end it on my terms instead of getting old and slowly falling apart. I am happy with my past and I am content with my life. Still 6 months to try and do a few more things! After that who knows

Would you bother living if you were like me?

replies: 3

-Extremely ugly, I have never had a relationship, i have been called ugly multiple times and girls have said 'ew' to me. I'm genetically inferior, I have low testosterone, a big forehead, rounded face, inability to grow facial hair or muscle no matter how well I work out, skinny and feminine, all traits which are unattractive for women. -Low intelligence, probably the lowest scoring in some of my classes, I'm ashamed to even show up to school every day because of how stupid I am, It's embarrassing to have people laugh at you because of how stupid you are, and yet you have to play along to not be made fun of for being sensitive. This may only be two reasons, but tens of reasons spur from each, with a few dictated previously. With these two problems, I will never be successful in life, and will never be loved by anyone. I'm forever chasing a career made for people twice my IQ. I can't take being rejected anymore, it's humiliating and makes me truly realise how disgusting I am, and how ashamed of myself I should be. I want someone in this world to appreciate me for who I am, but every girl is always too good for me. They always go for men that are better than me in every perceivable way. I don't blame them, I would do it too if were them. It just hurts so bad - worse than any physical pain - when I see a woman I love with another man, while being disgusted by me. I would be ashamed and embarrassed to be seen in public with me as a partner. I just wish I wasn't a disgusting sub-human. I wish i was good looking and smart enough to be successful and loved by someone. The thought of someone appreciating me or even holding my hand makes me so excited until I realise it will never happen. What is the point of a life without success and love? I'm sick of punishing and torturing myself because I deserve it. I'm sick of crying myself to sleep. I'm sick of seeing the disgusting thing I have to call my body in the mirror. I wish assisted suicide was given to people with lives not living. I'm too afraid to kill myself. Every time I tried I woke back up or was too scared to do it. No amount of anti-depressants can make me smart and good looking, which is why I will never take them again. They do nothing. I can't be fixed. I have to choose between living a meaningless existence as an ugly, stupid sorry-excuse of a human being, if you can even call me that. Is suicide the answer in my case when I already know my future won't get better due to things I can't change?

'Attention Seeker'

replies: 12

Hi, this feels weird. I wanted to share this somewhere, but figured that sharing it online, on a platform like Instagram where people are less likely to understand, and people know who I am is a bad idea. This year hasn't been great for me. In fact, this year has been bad, for a number of reasons. In a course of about 9 months I have attempted suicide, self-harmed, had my parents lose all trust in me, went from a friend-group of 14 to 0, been diagnosed with severe depression, severe anxiety and a mild stress disorder, and have had to leave school due to an extreme amount of bullying. I really wish I could fit the whole story in, but there's A LOT. Some of this might not make sense due to lack of backstory, but I get the main point across so it's okay. An 'Attention Seeker' is a name I've become quite used to being called in these last 9 months. My best friend at the time, who I opened up to after my suicide attempt was the person who started this. She could not understand why she wasn't allowed to tell anyone about it, yet I was. The fact that I told my mum to take me to hospital after an overdose of pills because I suddenly regretted what I had done was enough for her to say that it was an attention thing. I had realised after an hour and a half that I didn't want to die. I just wanted to escape the pain. It destroyed me. I felt physically sick hearing that from my 'best friend'. It was mentioned to me at school one day, and when I went to speak to the school psych, she asked me if I had actually attempted for attention. Is this really the help I get? This person spread around to everyone that I had attempted suicide for attention. Not long after this, one girl made my life a living hell. She made up rumors. She told everyone that I faked mental issues. When I reported her to the head of upper school, he said he didn't understand why I was upset. Boys in my class asked me if I was an attention seeker. Even people like one of my mum's friend called me an attention seeker. EVERYONE called me an attention seeker. It's sickening. But, I know I'm not an attention seeker. I have heard it so much that even if I started to believe it at one point. But I'm not. Only I know how I'm feeling, and the reason I act the way I do. I've tried getting my point across to these people, but it has been pointless. And just like me, you're not an attention seeker because of what you're going through. Please don't believe it. Only YOU truly know how you're feeling.

Struggling to keep moving forward

replies: 4

Hi all, I’m new to this forum, but really need somewhere to go to. I’m at a point in my life where I don’t want to keep moving forward. I’m 26 and should be enjoying my life with my partner, friends and family. For the last 3 months all I have wanted to do is stay away from everyone, put on a brave face at work and pretend like nothing is wrong. Now I feel it’s built up to the point where I just don’t care about my own life anymore. I have a lot of money stress and work stress that has pushed me into a huge hole. I struggle everyday now to find any joy or happiness in anything, I feel like I’m pretending constantly and it’s exhausting. I don’t know how to get out of this. I don’t want to hurt the ones I love by taking my own life, but I’ve lost all hope and motivation to keep going.

Feeling Down and Alone

replies: 2

Hello, Lately I have been feeling so alone and like I am wondering through life by myself. It makes me feel as if I could disappear and nobody would notice or care that much, which is when I start to think negative thoughts. I know it isn’t the answer but my mind always goes there and it is so hard to pick myself back up again once I am down the rabbit hole. I was in a very toxic relationship, which ended a few years ago, but I lost all my friends during the process. I have a hard time making friends so I don’t currently have any that I can turn to. My husband tries to help, but he doesn’t understand and eventually just gets frustrated with me. My sister is having her first baby and that is all my family care about . Nothing else matters but the baby, and I’m so happy for her, but I feel like she is leaving me behind and moving on with her own seperate family. It is so hard dealing with something like this and not having a support system. I feel selfish asking for help as my family have their own lives. I just wish I had people to turn too.

Its getting harder

replies: 4

Hi, I'm new at all this I have never reached out always turned to somesort of self harm I am 27 with 2 kids I have suffered really bad for about 18 years now the last 2 years has been so comepletly different gotten so much worsee but today gave me a scare with the consistent break downs I ended up disappearing for hours. My head switched its getting harder I no longer want to be here the pain is to much now, having all theses thoughts running everywhere. I'm also scared to die quickly..... I told myself go home hug yiur kids tell them I love them... See how I am feeling after that 24 hours and replan everything. Sorry a bit of a rant I have absolutely no one to turn to partner doesn't care about me at all is horrible, friends all disappeared and I dont get emotional or mental support from family. here is a little poem, it explains how I feel all the time day in day out it's all the same. "It's getting harder to hide All the feelings I've built up inside. It's hard to explain Without being considered insane, So I've kept to myself. Even the weekends seem to be a chore. Putting a smile on my face as I walk out the door. Wanting to run away, But where can I go? Around people or not, I still feel alone. I cry all the time now. I used to think I was strong. Now it's a struggle just to hold on. To make it through the day, Without an odd look my way Or someone asking me if I'm okay. But maybe it will do me good To let someone help if they could. Just one hug is all I need. Just one person that cares is all I plead. And then I might get through another day Of waiting for my pain to fade away Louise x

life seems to get harder

replies: 4

hello, this is my first post here so i'm sorry if this is disorganised, i just need to vent i don't have many people to talk to; i talk to my school friends almost never whenever we're not in school. i feel constantly lonely in school and have been many times left behind by them, most of the time where they talk to their other friends without acknowledging me or walk off without me. i only have one online friend who i talk to on a personal level and regularly, my boyfriend. i do my best to talk to my irl friends to be closer with them, but i feel like it never works - i always try to be there for them when no one else is, but as soon as they're alright, i feel like i'm immediately discarded and they go be with their other friends again. no one knows how i feel, and i don't want to open up about it since it'd be awkward since i'm really not close with my friends. only my boyfriend knows, but when i opened up to him and told him i think my friends hate me and why, he kept telling me they don't, but eventually snapped that my friends must hate me then. i haven't told him anything since. i don't think i want to be with him anymore, but his mental health isn't in a good place either, so i'm worried i might set something off if i do that (i don't think he'd be threatening to me or anything, but he'd get upset). i dont want to tell my parents; i dont want them to feel like theyre bad parents (which my mum told me before when she saw me crying). my dad is helpful, but i don't want my mum feeling left out, but i don't opening up to her cause she doesnt get it (she tells me to just be happy, and that my friends like me). earlier she walked in on me crying again and when i refused to talk to her about it, she said she was now going to feel bad for the rest of the night and 'thanks'. my family fights a lot, making it worse since my autism&anxiety worsens with noise. i cant tell my dad rn since he will be gone for a while, and i cant call him as to not stress him out more working. even when im not crying, my anxiety makes me feel like i am going to die. i've been feeling suicidal, and have hurt myself, but don't want to tell anyone cause of that. i can't tell my therapist (who i havent seen in a while, and since i just met her i feel hesitant on opening up) cause then she'd have to tell my parents. i also feel incredibly ugly and insecure. i feel hopeless, and i want to get better, ive been trying and nothing seems to be working there's more, but character limit

Pitty & Bullshit

replies: 1

I have had too much bullshit, I resented my Dad since I was 8, He Is a narcissist In different way's, He would demean me socially as pale and as a nerd and as a socially anxious, loner or hermit, or as a Inept person. He would bully my actual mis diagnosis of ( Schizoprehnia ), as that I am mentally retarted or disabled, He would treat caution and observation and reflection and epiphany as that It's all In your head, He would deny my entitlement for a second mental review at a mental health tribunal, He would be the arrogance of His own Intelligence and my financial dependency, He would never praise and be encouraging, rather defeatist, He would undermine my literate expressive, as that I don't know the definition to the word's that I understand, because He Is within a dyslexic level, He would label me as superficial and narcissistic, When His the narcissist that would have the probability to be dis honest, or tell people comfortably against my desire that I am receiving centrelink payment's, and that their a allowance, rather than a government benefit, My Father has left a social mental under confidence to me when socializing or when even thinking to myself, Hindering from Intelligence, or speaking when His around me closely. I always had a Interest to sing and rap, but whenever I would have my Individual with comedy, or opinion's, or Individuality with anything, He would get corrective or deny that your not the person you are, Instead of who He un Intelligent think's you are, He would make you feel guilty and hold grudge's, or He could undermine all His wrong parenting, for merely the fact His paying the bill's for me after 18. He was always a traditional male grey personality, That would make 2013 feel like It's the 1970's or early 60's, He was never available to talk to, unless It was when He was happy and wanted to Interact, and only usually discuss about small talk, rather than meaningful, He could never give advice, or display social, mental or affectionate emotional Intelligence. He could provoke your feeling's, but than can get physically confronting or socially Intimidating and threatening to either keep going, or for me to leave home, without work history, direction, relationship's, and also employment, and when I'm without my driving. He was a propganda vague media personality, a conventional lead mass dogma vain without any abstract Intelligence, I could never click to His psychology, the way that He Is and think's and Internalise's situations

Self harm doesnt hurt anymore

replies: 10

Pain and suffering is my daily thing , so to deal with it all l hurt myself .... AS much as the those conversation to find the better light in things , to be happy with what l do have or there are other options out there , l am NOT convinced and am done listening to others. My safety plan sits in my emails where l do not refer back to it as l simply dont care to keep my self safe. Do l have a plan ??????? That is yet to be decided and l dont know as such. Such is life ........

in the middle of an argument with friends

replies: 3

i’ve never really posted on anything like this before so here goes nothing. basically all year i’ve been in this friendship group of four girls. within the group, i am best friends with this one girl, we’ll call her stacy. and im very close with the two other girls in the group as well, we’ll call them amy and emma. all year stacy has felt really excluded from our group, because she felt as though i was closer to amy and emma than she was. because of this, she’s felt really insecure with herself and therefore been really possessive of me and would always get angry with me if i would take photos with them/ message them which would always make me upset but i wouldn’t say anything because i’m too scared to upset stacy. i’ve managed to juggle all this all year just fine, but just recently amy and stacy had a massive argument that started over something very small and escalated into them calling eachother names and saying they have always hated eachother and now my friend group has fallen apart and it’s really upsetting for me because i like all of them and want to be friends with them all. and now stacy is not letting me talk to amy or emma because stacy feels attacked by them and feels that it i were friends with them it’s like an act of betrayal. but the thing is i really really love amy and emma they’re really good friends of mine and the idea that i could lose them forever is making me so anxious and sick. but if i stay friends with them, i’m going to lose stacy. this situation i have found myself in it’s just too much for me, i feel like it’s a lose lose situation. i’ve been feeling sick to my stomach all day thinking to the point where i can’t eat and i’m constantly on the verge of tears, i jsut don’t know what to do. i realise the obvious solution is to just tell stacy that i still like and want to be friends with amy and emma, but i have mentioned it that verify yesterday and she got really upset with me saying that i shouldn’t even want to be friends with them considering how they made stacy feel, and if i’m stacy’s best friend i should always stick up for her. the other thing is i’m really afraid to upset stacy because she’s told me before that she’s tried to commit suicide and i’m scared to do or say anything that’ll contribute to that feeling she has. i just am so lost in what to do and i feel so sick thinking about it, i just wish everyone could be friends with everyone and no one would ever fight.

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Content with life. replies: 6

Would you bother living if you were like me? replies: 3

'Attention Seeker' replies: 12

Struggling to keep moving forward replies: 4

Feeling Down and Alone replies: 2

Its getting harder replies: 4

life seems to get harder replies: 4

Pitty & Bullshit replies: 1

Self harm doesnt hurt anymore replies: 10

in the middle of an argument with friends replies: 3