Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Do you have a safety plan?

replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section

replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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Paranoia

replies: 20

I really don’t know what’s wrong with me anymore . So long story short this is my third time typing this because i kept on accidentally deleting it so I’m having these really intense paranoia these past few weeks and i dont know why. I know I’m not some important person but still. So I’m really paranoid about my security and i need to scan my phone with two different antivirus software to make sure that I dont have any malware or spyware on my phone. It’s not like I’m doing dodgy stuff but it’d be nice to be safe. So i was out on a walk today and as i was walking i really didn't pay attention to my surrounding so i didn't see the aircon leaking water. So as i was walking the leaking water from the air condition happened to went into my eye. New fear unlocked! i’m now really paranoid what if they can see what I’m seeing because they have a tracking device in the water? Is it possible? Can you track someone by putting droplets of water into their eyes? As in will you be able to see what they’re seeing? please help me i cant do this anymore Being alive is starting to get really tiring. note: kinda funny how my first thought when the leaking water went into my eye was that and not oh no what if i get an eye infection

Suicidal Thoughts / Control Issues?

replies: 2

Hi, So I'm not really sure where to start but in a way I'm a control freak I guess (I don't want to control other people) but I feel the need to have control of what happens to me. For example I became rather unwell in late 2020 (Cerebellar Ataxia) I used to be able to walk like normal people now while I have made an improvement I still require the use of a walker to prevent falling over. I'm only 32 so yeah it was pretty scary having my life turned upside down. Since I felt like I had no control I was Suicidal - which is nothing new to me I've tried a number of times of taking my life since I was about 5. I haven't tried for maybe 6 years now but I've often had thoughts when I feel like I have no control. I'm pretty self aware I know it isn't 'normal' which is why I tell people I have these thoughts and people have thought I do it to black mail them - which isn't the case. I do it because I feel helpless and backed into a corner and it makes me want to regain control. I've worked with a number of people about changing my ways but while I made improvements it's something that will take time to make changes I could write a few pages on why and what I feel but that's my issue I got to deal with not others... a bit side tracked sorry. The issue tonight is Centrelink in all their wise choices are saying I must look for work (I'm on DSP) or I'll lose my payments - I'm not someone that just wants to collect money and do nothing with my life - I'd much rather work then not work but due to my health and treatments that I'm undergoing I can't. I'm going to get my lovely wife to call centre link tomorrow and see if that can be changed... but at the end of the day I'd rather suicide then be forced into something that I'm not ready for.. Yes extreme and it's not something I want but at least I have some control and not forced into something I'm unable to do. Thanks for those that reading. ~Regards R

Intrusive thoughts

replies: 5

I've been getting intrusive thoughts randomly for a month or so. I haven't had a chance to talk about it with my psychologist but I have a session in a couple days. The thoughts usually are about hurting myself or ending my life. I know I'm safe but it can be really hard to get through the thoughts. Does anyone have any strategies to block/stop intrusive thoughts? Thanks, Bee

Parents Misunderstanding

replies: 3

Warning: Please do not read this if you get triggered by suicidal people. I don't intend any harm and I am only here to seek support. I don't know if I'm the only one feeling like some parents will never understand the pain we feel. I am feeling unstable and have communicated with them in an honest manner. I don't feel safe alone with the self-harm and suicidal thoughts. All they do is give me lectures or solutions to deal with my depression. I am hurt when my Mom tells me to snap out of it or that there are others with worse problems. I am trying so hard to stay strong and can barely hold it together. I'm so tired.

I don't know how I feel all I know is that I feel lost

replies: 8

I feel useless and like I am destined to be nothing. My older sister did HSC last year and was talking to me about how she cries in the shower sometimes and feels really upset and now one year after she still feels sad. I don't know who to tell or what to do (cause she says shes better now) I feel helpless . I have been feeling really upset for a while now and maybe 2 years ago found myself deep in self harm I have now stopped but still sometimes I feel too overwhelmed and fall into it again but not as bad . I get mood swings and get very anger and upset a lot. I dont do extra curricular actives and feel terrible about it, i feel like I am nothing that I'm not living but just existing . I feel like Ive wasted my life and others time. When I'm sad I think of everything that makes me upset and fall very deep into sadness. I feel like there is nothing that happened in my life to cause all this pain and I feel like I'm just doing it for attention and I "want" to feel sad and that I just self harm for "attention". I dont know why I feel like this but I do. My feelings have gotten a bit better but I still cry and then get angry at myself for crying or feel dumb for feeling this way when my sister is the one who actually needs help. i feel like i'm too young to feel like this. like i have to reason to be this way, that its all fake and that ive created this sad, depressed person that i live as sometimes

"let me clean my room"

replies: 3

Hi, I'm 22. Everyday I wake up feeling.. out of it, not in control, sad, my life is plain and simple and I find myself isolating myself in my room more and more, work is a drag and I can't get the courage to explore, I have this constant thought of everything would be easier if I just up and left. i've tried multiple times.. ending it, but never been successful.. when I'm alone I get the encouragement to do it, like today is the day, I'm gonna clean my room, and leave, but I have this fear, everything I've amounted to would be for nothing. my life would be just a bedroom, car and some photos, nothing more, and the fear id be forgotten haunts me, am I scared? am I wrong for not being in control of my own actions? I don't know.. I don't feel like I used to, since I was 15 I've been like this, never being able to overcome it. this feeling of unworthiness, emptiness and sadness. at this point I'm just rambling. I'm sorry. I just don't have anyone who'd listen properly. I just wanna leave.

Hi Everyone

replies: 6

Hello, and thank you for accepting me into this community. I have been experiencing low mood and passive suicidal thoughts for the past 4 years. They have varied in consistency and intensity over the period. Generally, when I am experiencing more stress and helplessness at work they get worse, and when I am able to complete my work efficiently and effectively it gets better, though even during those times I experience feelings of lethargy and wish that I could go to sleep forever and be at peace. Right now things are getting worse again and I find that I am dragging myself out of bed each morning, waking up only after an ever increasing amount of coffee, which is my little bit of enjoyment during these cold winter days. I then try to go for a short walk or jog before I start work as its another activity I enjoy. After work, I feel a sense of relief as the day is finally over and after eating dinner, I rest in bed feeling fatigued and hoping this endless cycle would just - end. Objectively speaking, I have a good job and great colleagues. My current role involves analysing current businesses processes in order to implement a new accounting system for the company. It is a great chance to learn a lot about the business and its processes, meet people as well as the opportunity to become a subject matter expert on the new system which will be used for many years to come. Other aspects of my life are good too, I might even say perfect. I have loving parents, who are still alive and care about me. I talk to them at least once a week and they message me daily with little bits of encouragement. I have been in a stable long term relationship for the past 9 years, and my girlfriend has stuck by me. We talk daily, though its more me listening to her as I am quite disengaged with life and dont have much to say, other than the fact that I am depressed, feel trapped but cant understand why. I dont have any children or other commitments in life. I do not experience any financial stress as I have a job and given my disengagement and disinterest with life, rarely feel anything is worth spending money on. I take pleasure in the small things in life, hot coffee on cold mornings, gentle winter sunshine on my skin, fresh air, long walks, clear blue skies. I dont drink or smoke. I am going to see my GP again to request professional help and am hoping that with some expert advice and medication, it will all work out. Thank you for reading and wish everyone a good day.

Seeing no future

replies: 2

Lost my full time job over six months ago, it’s taken me this long to finally realize that. Now the anxiety attacks have started. I’ve suffered from depression followed by panic attacks since childhood. I remember my first panic attack. I was 9 at the time and I still recall trying to kill myself, but even that lead to a worsening of the panic attack. Since then I have had periods of anxiety attacks over the years, which lead to depression at the age of 3, now I’m 55 and had depression ever since. At this present time I have been suffering from anxiety for 2 weeks, it has totally disabled me. The attacks started when I started working for a new employer, who systematically tried to rip me off, none of the conditions promised were delivered, no tools, no service car, no mobile phone and the laptop they gave me to do the on-site programming was broken. Yet they still expected me to do the service work. It really came to a head when at the end of the day the last job they sent me to hadn’t been confirmed with the client, the client wasn’t there, so my boss said to go home half an hour early. The next day I was informed that I now owned my employer an hour, I said how did that happened as I didn’t want to go early, you instructed me to, he said that doesn’t matter, it’s how they do things there. I then realized the type of company I signed up with. I left 2 days after that when the anxiety attacks started and I couldn’t concentrate on my work. Now the anxiety has gotten out of control and just the thought of applying for another job is making it worse. I don’t know what to do, I see no future, even the thought of ending my life leads to furthering my anxiety because I’m scared of how my wife and son would be affected by it. Will this end?

New here and depressed

replies: 32

Hi, don’t know how this will go. But here it is! Most of my 64 years of live I was trying finding out the source of pain, many of my peers and family and friends go through. I stood beside with help and encouragement and on many occasion things eased or disappeared. Now after a series of tragic events in the last two years I found my self in an increasingly deeper hole. The thing I would know to do I can not perform. And the things I don’t want to do I find myself caught in it’s claws. Unable to free myself from these accusation against myself and others. I lost all interests in all things. I don’t have a will to live anymore and find myself constantly devising plans to end my live and make it look like an accident. For what should my loved ones bare any of it.

Depression and Terminal Illness

replies: 6

Hi everyone, 38F here living in Brisbane. Im looking to connect with others around the same age for support and chat etc. I've always struggled with mental health (depression, anxiety and much more), but 5 years ago was diagnosed with the same disease that killed my dad, his mum and his brothers. If I let it go till the end I have about 15-20 years, but by then I'll be a vegetable so will seek suicide/self assisted in around 5-10 years depending. Recently been very depressed and thinking of suicide despite being on a cocktail of meds for support. Would really love to connect with those that can offer and support or friendship I believe in God. Thanks and peace to you all

Do you have a safety plan? replies: 97

PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section replies: 0

Paranoia replies: 20

Suicidal Thoughts / Control Issues? replies: 2

Intrusive thoughts replies: 5

Parents Misunderstanding replies: 3

I don't know how I feel all I know is that I feel lost replies: 8

"let me clean my room" replies: 3

Hi Everyone replies: 6

Seeing no future replies: 2

New here and depressed replies: 32

Depression and Terminal Illness replies: 6