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Suicidal thoughts and self-harm

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Sophie_M Do you have a safety plan?
  • replies: 97

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts wi... View more

Safety planning involves creating a structured plan – ideally with support from your health professional or someone you trust – that you work through when you’re experiencing suicidal thoughts, feelings, distress or crisis. Your safety plan starts with things you can do by yourself, such as thinking about your reasons to live and distracting yourself with enjoyable activities. It then moves on to coping strategies and people you can contact for support – your friends, family and health professionals. The safety planning model was developed in the US by suicide prevention experts Barbara Stanley and Gregory Brown. It has been used extensively by US veterans’ health organisations, hospital emergency departments and high schools, and there is strong evidence that it works. Many health professionals in Australia also use some form of safety planning to support clients experiencing suicidal thoughts or feelings, or after a suicide attempt. beyondblue has an app you can use to create a safety plan, called BeyondNow. The BeyondNow app takes the principles of safety planning and makes it even easier to use – so rather than carrying around a piece of paper, you’ve got it on your phone at all times. It’s free to download from the Apple Store or Google Play. If you don’t have a smartphone or would prefer to use your desktop or laptop, BeyondNow is also available to use on our website. Do you have a safety plan? Do you have questions around how you might create one, or fill out some of the sections? This thread is for discussing ideas around creating a safety plan, and sharing tips about what has been most useful about this process for you. Below are two videos featuring Peter and Nic, who have both used safety plans successfully. Peter Nic

Sophie_M PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: posting in this section
  • replies: 0

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to h... View more

Life gets pretty hard sometimes and many people in this online community have had times where they have thought about hurting themselves or ending their life. This can be a stressful and at times overwhelming experience, and this section is here to help members who have had these experiences. This is a place to share where you are at, seek ideas for help and know that you are not alone. We are here to create a safe environment for everyone. Please do not provide any details about any plans/ideas that you may have had to hurt yourself, and importantly, help us to understand if you are safe by letting us know in the post. Making comments that let us know that you are having thoughts, but are safe, helps us to know that your conversation can continue without interruption, and that we do not need to put any further follow up for you in place. This section will not be for everyone.It shows posts from people who are distressed, offers public replies to these posts, and encourages people to come back and share how they got past that difficult point in time - what worked, what didn’t and how they now approach these difficult thoughts. It is important to think about what you want from the forums, what information you need and what threads will be helpful to your situation, rather than reading everything that is posted. For some people this section might be difficult to read – if it is not helping how you feel, then please consider moving to another section. This section, like the rest of our forums, is closely monitored and all posts are reviewed by moderators before publication. Moderators will also ensure that anyone needing follow up will be provided with information about how to access further support. ​This section remains a discussion forum focused on helping each other through the dark times, it is not a crisis support service. Any posts that do not abide by the community rules will not be published. Unlike other areas of the forum, threads in this section will be closed after a period of one month of inactivity. If you are in crisis or need immediate help, assistance is not available via these forums. Please call Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467, Lifeline 13 11 14 or contact emergency services on 000.

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charliedog Hi Everyone
  • replies: 6

Hello, and thank you for accepting me into this community. I have been experiencing low mood and passive suicidal thoughts for the past 4 years. They have varied in consistency and intensity over the period. Generally, when I am experiencing more str... View more

Hello, and thank you for accepting me into this community. I have been experiencing low mood and passive suicidal thoughts for the past 4 years. They have varied in consistency and intensity over the period. Generally, when I am experiencing more stress and helplessness at work they get worse, and when I am able to complete my work efficiently and effectively it gets better, though even during those times I experience feelings of lethargy and wish that I could go to sleep forever and be at peace. Right now things are getting worse again and I find that I am dragging myself out of bed each morning, waking up only after an ever increasing amount of coffee, which is my little bit of enjoyment during these cold winter days. I then try to go for a short walk or jog before I start work as its another activity I enjoy. After work, I feel a sense of relief as the day is finally over and after eating dinner, I rest in bed feeling fatigued and hoping this endless cycle would just - end. Objectively speaking, I have a good job and great colleagues. My current role involves analysing current businesses processes in order to implement a new accounting system for the company. It is a great chance to learn a lot about the business and its processes, meet people as well as the opportunity to become a subject matter expert on the new system which will be used for many years to come. Other aspects of my life are good too, I might even say perfect. I have loving parents, who are still alive and care about me. I talk to them at least once a week and they message me daily with little bits of encouragement. I have been in a stable long term relationship for the past 9 years, and my girlfriend has stuck by me. We talk daily, though its more me listening to her as I am quite disengaged with life and dont have much to say, other than the fact that I am depressed, feel trapped but cant understand why. I dont have any children or other commitments in life. I do not experience any financial stress as I have a job and given my disengagement and disinterest with life, rarely feel anything is worth spending money on. I take pleasure in the small things in life, hot coffee on cold mornings, gentle winter sunshine on my skin, fresh air, long walks, clear blue skies. I dont drink or smoke. I am going to see my GP again to request professional help and am hoping that with some expert advice and medication, it will all work out. Thank you for reading and wish everyone a good day.

RayJohn Seeing no future
  • replies: 2

Lost my full time job over six months ago, it’s taken me this long to finally realize that. Now the anxiety attacks have started. I’ve suffered from depression followed by panic attacks since childhood. I remember my first panic attack. I was 9 at th... View more

Lost my full time job over six months ago, it’s taken me this long to finally realize that. Now the anxiety attacks have started. I’ve suffered from depression followed by panic attacks since childhood. I remember my first panic attack. I was 9 at the time and I still recall trying to kill myself, but even that lead to a worsening of the panic attack. Since then I have had periods of anxiety attacks over the years, which lead to depression at the age of 3, now I’m 55 and had depression ever since. At this present time I have been suffering from anxiety for 2 weeks, it has totally disabled me. The attacks started when I started working for a new employer, who systematically tried to rip me off, none of the conditions promised were delivered, no tools, no service car, no mobile phone and the laptop they gave me to do the on-site programming was broken. Yet they still expected me to do the service work. It really came to a head when at the end of the day the last job they sent me to hadn’t been confirmed with the client, the client wasn’t there, so my boss said to go home half an hour early. The next day I was informed that I now owned my employer an hour, I said how did that happened as I didn’t want to go early, you instructed me to, he said that doesn’t matter, it’s how they do things there. I then realized the type of company I signed up with. I left 2 days after that when the anxiety attacks started and I couldn’t concentrate on my work. Now the anxiety has gotten out of control and just the thought of applying for another job is making it worse. I don’t know what to do, I see no future, even the thought of ending my life leads to furthering my anxiety because I’m scared of how my wife and son would be affected by it. Will this end?

Guest_0682 New here and depressed
  • replies: 32

Hi, don’t know how this will go. But here it is! Most of my 64 years of live I was trying finding out the source of pain, many of my peers and family and friends go through. I stood beside with help and encouragement and on many occasion things eased... View more

Hi, don’t know how this will go. But here it is! Most of my 64 years of live I was trying finding out the source of pain, many of my peers and family and friends go through. I stood beside with help and encouragement and on many occasion things eased or disappeared. Now after a series of tragic events in the last two years I found my self in an increasingly deeper hole. The thing I would know to do I can not perform. And the things I don’t want to do I find myself caught in it’s claws. Unable to free myself from these accusation against myself and others. I lost all interests in all things. I don’t have a will to live anymore and find myself constantly devising plans to end my live and make it look like an accident. For what should my loved ones bare any of it.

mydopecat Depression and Terminal Illness
  • replies: 6

Hi everyone, 38F here living in Brisbane. Im looking to connect with others around the same age for support and chat etc. I've always struggled with mental health (depression, anxiety and much more), but 5 years ago was diagnosed with the same diseas... View more

Hi everyone, 38F here living in Brisbane. Im looking to connect with others around the same age for support and chat etc. I've always struggled with mental health (depression, anxiety and much more), but 5 years ago was diagnosed with the same disease that killed my dad, his mum and his brothers. If I let it go till the end I have about 15-20 years, but by then I'll be a vegetable so will seek suicide/self assisted in around 5-10 years depending. Recently been very depressed and thinking of suicide despite being on a cocktail of meds for support. Would really love to connect with those that can offer and support or friendship I believe in God. Thanks and peace to you all

Ghouligan Not wanting to exist
  • replies: 4

Hi I've had depression for a few years now and been taking meds for it for 2 years. Have had attempts of suicide before but this time it feels different. I'm not particularly feeling sad or miserable whenever I think of wanting to die I just genuinel... View more

Hi I've had depression for a few years now and been taking meds for it for 2 years. Have had attempts of suicide before but this time it feels different. I'm not particularly feeling sad or miserable whenever I think of wanting to die I just genuinely think if I die nothing much will change, it's just the end of MY existance. I know people will be affected by it and I feel bad about it;that I can cause that much grief if I decide to off myself. But I just really think that I don't have a purpose or any ambitions, there's enough people in this earth already. So if I die I don't think much will change except for the people that knew me. I know these all sounds really monotone or that I'm having an existential crisis. Believe me I've had an ongoing crisis since I've been aware of my existance. I just wanna know if I'm the only one who thinks like this or if there's others out there who's had thoughts like this.

Matthew 2 Depressed and suicidal
  • replies: 3

I’m 24, I’ve just lost my job, (I’m a Journalist, an honest non-biased one) thanks to someone I held very dear to me. My Uncle (and Aunt, his wife), has in these two weeks just past, literally ruined my career, my reputation and so on. My Uncle is ac... View more

I’m 24, I’ve just lost my job, (I’m a Journalist, an honest non-biased one) thanks to someone I held very dear to me. My Uncle (and Aunt, his wife), has in these two weeks just past, literally ruined my career, my reputation and so on. My Uncle is accusing me of fraud, he is spreading lies about me, claiming I stole upwards of $10,000.00 off of my OWN GRANDMOTHER! I would NEVER do such a thing, myself and my Nan have an extremely close relationship, a close bond. My Nan loaned me $5,000.00 (which I have paid back) however for some unknown reason my Uncle is claiming I’m a criminal, that I’ve committed fraud and so on. Due to his allegations, his threats of involving police, and taking me to court over something that literally never happened.. I’ve lost everything, he called my place of work and trash talked me, causing me to lose my job. He’s spreading lies about me within the family ect. He has ruined my life, I don’t know what to do, or where to go from here, I no longer have anything to live for. I’ve never been so depressed, anxious, angry and suicidal like this before! For some reason that I do not know, when I was younger, I used to have extremely bad panic attacks, until two weeks ago, I hadn’t really had one for 10 years, now I’m having them everyday, for some reason my hands won’t stop shaking, I don’t feel myself anymore, I feel helpless, which isn’t me, I’m usually a rather relaxed, happy-go-lucky guy, I usually help my family and Girlfriend out when they have problems with depression/mental health in general, with everything and anything. I don’t know, my thoughts are all over the place, I can barely hold a conversation anymore as I have so much going on inside my head. I’m getting distracted easily, which is a trait I never had. I have nothing left at all, no job, no money, a Family that is talking about me 24/7. I don’t know. All I can think about is how easy it would be to end all of this, by ending me. My Uncle and Aunt clearly hate me, so maybe more of my family members do as well, I don’t know why. My uncle has made all this, personal, I don’t know what I’ve done to him for him to be this way with me, as we were close, can he not stand the fact that I was succeeding in life? I don’t know, all I do know, is that they want me gone from this Family (for whatever reason I don’t know) so I might as well take myself out. It’s easy, I know how to. God I hate myself.

Jacqui51 Trying to stay positive but losing.
  • replies: 4

When down things seem to pile up. Two days ago I somehow managed to hurt my back. It is not great. Pain more than 6 when 9 is screaming. Have some analgesics and may take one tonight. Other analgesics are not working very well. Tomorrow seeing chirop... View more

When down things seem to pile up. Two days ago I somehow managed to hurt my back. It is not great. Pain more than 6 when 9 is screaming. Have some analgesics and may take one tonight. Other analgesics are not working very well. Tomorrow seeing chiropractor who has previously helped when I had hip and back pain. Still unsure about the next few weeks. I go back to work Tuesday. Hopefully it will distract me from everything. I am someone who finds a level of self worth through work achievements. I have been continually answering emails and doing a few bits and pieces while on leave but low level for me. I recently heard from my psychiatrist. Truthfully they are someone who seems to give a damn as third email while away. Much more than I have any right to receive. They tried to answer a question regarding the therapeutic relationship I had. Confusion in the answer for me. Oh well. Medication was mentioned. I suppose at some stage I should tell them that I have tapered off and no longer take any. Oops. Don't think this was on their agenda. Keep wanting to give in but hoping if pain eases this will also.

SweetChariot About to give up
  • replies: 4

I have been feeling quite depressed for some time and feel as though I am at my end of holding on to hope. Every day I cry multiple times and just don't want to be near anyone. I have never self harmed before but I feel myself over and over contempla... View more

I have been feeling quite depressed for some time and feel as though I am at my end of holding on to hope. Every day I cry multiple times and just don't want to be near anyone. I have never self harmed before but I feel myself over and over contemplating death and questioning if I would have the will power to die by myself. I just feel stupid and that I don't want to live this lie anymore. I don't think anything I am hoping for will come true and I don't know if there is anything I am still looking forward to. I wish I could be away from everyone. I don't want to keep waking up to this life anymore. I cant'.

AlostPosie Looser, Failure, Unworthy
  • replies: 2

Hi, Im feeling pretty shit atm. I am 51 I have 3 adult kids and been married 27 years. I am from a balkan family and so is my husband. We are old school and our upbrining is the balkan way. I am not one who is very out spoken and I dont argue cause I... View more

Hi, Im feeling pretty shit atm. I am 51 I have 3 adult kids and been married 27 years. I am from a balkan family and so is my husband. We are old school and our upbrining is the balkan way. I am not one who is very out spoken and I dont argue cause I dont know how to, I dont stick up for myself which has to do with my father always telling me that i was stupid and he even told me that I wasnt beautiful at the age of 18, he was trying to convince me to marry an import (25) as I will never find anyone. Anyway that all happened and then he hit me and I threw him out, (but he handled me and i said No but he never accepted No....so fast forward I am 51& I have been married for a long time but during my first pregnancy I think I left hubby like 6 times and over the years I have left many times but always have come back. Hubby was an ass and has been for a long time only recently perhaps last 2 years he has changed, I believe that he is a narcissist but I also believe I am weak, I cant stand up for my self over the years he has told me Im stupid over the years, he is on the disability pension so I am the bread winner of the family and for most of the last 20 years i have been as he was in a car accident. We live on rent as 14 years ago we lost our house due to bad business decisions and my husband blames me that i made mistakes. actually everything that goes the wrong way has always been my fault he has never accepted blame for anything. My kids can finally see how he has treated me but like i said just lately he and i have been great. We had pups and on my watch one of the pups died, I apologised as i didnt do anything and he is so angry at me, I told him this is why I dont look after pets, I am a failure cause everything i do in life goes to shit. I hate myself and I am a total looser I hate me. I just want cry all the time i just want to go to my friend house and sleep at her house. I work literally 3 doors down from where I live (Disability worker) I dont want to live anymore, Our relationship with our son is shit, My daughter is lying about what boy she is dating as her dad has rules of who she can date, I dont agree with my husband in so many ways that it causes arguments, every time I disagree with him, he says i am stupid and i answer like a `12 year old I say to him there is nothing no ones says it is stupid just a different opinion. I dont know if to leave I deeply love him but its always been the way he says. There is so much more to this marriage story i dont have enough room to write about it. I want to leave but feel sorry for him I want to leave but how would i live everything is in my name, rent, mobiles, electricity EVERYTHING I would feel bad because he wouldnt be able to survive without me.....:(

Giggyy scared to move back to old house where I attempted
  • replies: 1

hi, i attempted in my old house in my bedroom. after moving house i felt a lot safer as it was less easy/accessible to hurt myself - but we are moving back soon and i get badly triggered in that room, i am very worried that this may lead to a relapse... View more

hi, i attempted in my old house in my bedroom. after moving house i felt a lot safer as it was less easy/accessible to hurt myself - but we are moving back soon and i get badly triggered in that room, i am very worried that this may lead to a relapse how can i cope with this ??