how do i tell my friends about my SH?

[melo]

Im a teenager who unfortunately selfharms. Its become a coping mechanisim for months now.

and ever since ive started, not one soul knows about it.

and everytime i try to tell someone, i delete it.

I know my friends would care for me, but i dont want to burden them.

Friend 1: Suffers from an ed, so I dont want to make her feel invalidated, or put more onto her plate and make her feel like she cant talk to me.

Friend 2: Also suffers from his own problems and I dont want to put this news on him- I dont want to make him feel like its his obligation.

Friend 3: she also has her own problems and I dont wish to put this on her.

Friend 4: She has alot going on and if i dont know if shed understand.

I just dont know who to tell or who to talk too? I recently became almost 2 months clean and I lost it.

Everytime I was happy about being sober, i couldnt be happy with the people I care for. Everytime I lost my sobriety, i couldnt have gone to anyone to talk to.

I just do not want to bother them with my problem, I dont want to make them feel like they have to walk on eggshells. I dont want to make them upset or cry. Because I know soemthing like this can put alot of pressure on someone because its not an easy topic.

I would like to talk to someone though, i would like to tell them.

I would like them to know.

but i dont know how to tell them without damaging their lives.

So how do I?

[smallwolf]

hello and welcome to the forums.

as you have indicated ... some topics are hard to discuss. And as hard as this topic might be, you have also been able to tell part of your story here. That takes courage and level of vulnerability which is good - you perhaps did not know how others might react here?

Maybe now is not the right time for you. I am sure though that if the right moment did pop up and it felt right to you, that you would tell them.

I wonder though if anyone in your family knows about this?

Have you spoken to your GP, or looked for professional help?

Please forgive the questions I ask. Beyond blue also has a page with useful information on it here...

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention/feeling-suicidal/self-harm-and-self-injury

if you want to chat about it, or anything else for that matter, I am about...

[geoff]

Hello Melo, and a warm welcome to the site.

Your comment is upsetting and if possible I'd like to make a couple of remarks, firstly self harming is disturbing and there can be a difference from when you're sober to being intoxicated, but perhaps that's why you have decided to drink, only you can answer that, and secondly I wonder whether any of these friends come to you or anyone else, to talk about their own problems or do they also keep it to themselves.

Everybody's problems are different because they may involve other circumstances, but there is one common concern, and that is being unhappy, and you might be able to help one of these friends and another may be able to assist you, but you won't know unless you talk with them.

When someone has had a few drinks, then what they say could be distorted trying to explain their problems, so what's said could take 10 minutes compared to when they're sober where it takes only a minute.

If you can ask these friends what they are worried about, then in turn they may ask you the same question.

Being a teenager you can contact Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800 by phone, webchat or online and we'd like to hear back from you if possible.

Geoff.

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi melo,

So glad that you're here reaching out to us on the forums. I'm also glad that you're thinking about telling your friends, because it's so so hard to keep something like that to yourself.

I remember always being really torn about who I should talk to, either afraid to be a burden, or that I'd push them away somehow, but I also needed a friend. So my best advice to you is to flip it- to imagine that friend 1, friend 2, friend 3 or friend 4 self-harms, and they wanted to reach out to you. Is this something you would want to know? My guess is yes; because part of having a friend is someone you can go to so you're not holding this all by yourself.

I hope you can find it within you to reach out; even if you weren't specific about the self-harm at first (just letting them know that you're struggling). They sound like people you are close too so I do think it's worth a try.

rt