Concerned

[Boo]

So I’ve been in a relationship for nearly two years now and have been increasingly unhappy in it for about half a year. It isn’t concerning in any way, I just no longer feel happy with my partner and long for a more nurturing relationship, or just to be single again. Unfortunately I am on a multiple-month trip with my partner and cannot break up with them, despite my disposition. Besides that, I’ve been having less and less energy and feel so isolated from everything. I’m worried about sharing my concerns with others, as many of my thoughts just aren’t good and I don’t want to scar anyone with them. But I also can’t deal with all my worries alone right now. I’ve had suicidal thoughts in the past and I’ve self harmed too. I am terrified of having those feelings again and try everything to stop them whenever I drift into a more negative headspace. I’ve worked on creating a safety net for times like this, but since I’m traveling I can’t spend time with friends and family and simply can’t talk to anyone in person. I get scared of what will happen if my headspace gets worse. Right now I’m clinging to the hope that it’ll all get better after these few months, though I know that it might be too long for me to deal with healthily. 

[indigo22]

Hello,

Welcome and thank you for reaching out to us.

I am sorry to hear how much your current situation is affecting you.

From my perspective, I feel you need to do whatever is going to keep you stable. That may mean having regular face time with those who you feel would be of most help to you at the moment. It may mean finding a therapist who does online therapy. It may also mean doing what you least want to, ending your relationship and flying home.

I can't say what would be best for you, only you can do that. However, remaining in a situation that is having a negative effect on your mental health is a form of sacrifice and only you will be the worse for it in the long run.

If you really want to see the trip out, then please consider the other suggestions I have mentioned.

Take good care of yourself,

indigo