Dear 4evablu,
I'm so sorry for the struggle you are dealing with. Caring for 4 children, 3 of them with special needs, is huge. It is understandable you are feeling overwhelmed, and all the more challenging when you feel isolated without a support network.
The comment the doctor made to you was insensitive and inappropriate. Such comments are the last thing we need when we are already really vulnerable and approaching someone for professional help. In my experience it sometimes takes a few goes with different doctors to find the right one. It's also important to remember that such comments reflect the doctor's judgements and assumptions, not your reality. You are dealing with a huge amount as well as what sounds like long term mental health struggles, and that is a lot for anyone to deal with.
What I have found is a support network is something that can be slow to build, but gradually over time it can start to form just by following your intuition about the right people to connect with. I have felt really isolated at times and also without a support network, so I know it can feel painfully distressing. But little by little I've found putting feelers out in different directions, and listening to my intuition, has started to lead me to some good people.
I am wondering if there are support groups, even online, for parents caring for kids with special needs? I'm also wondering if you have any NDIS support? If you can find a GP you feel comfortable with, they can do a mental health care plan with you and refer you to a psychologist. You can explain the particular struggles you are having and hopefully they may know of a psychologist who may be a good fit. You can also research psychologists yourself, see if there is one who feels like they might be the right fit and then ask a GP to refer you with the mental health care plan. Quite a few psychologists have their own websites and also their own specialities. You can even try ringing them up to get a sense if they might be a good person to work with based on the things you are struggling with right now.
I'm not sure where you are located and how many options are around you, but some doctors will bulk bill. Often with psychologists there is still a gap to pay, but I have read and heard that some do bulk bill as well. But I would say also use whatever resources you can find, including calling helplines and/or using their web chat services.
It is good you reached out here and expressed how you are feeling. Take care and sending you support,
Eagle Ray
