What is honesty and how does it affect your mental health?

[quirkywords]

I want to discuss what honesty means to you and your health.

People say that they fake being well, or wear a mask so no one knows their pain.Is this being honest.

When we do not admit our flaws and our behaviours does this make it harder to have insight into our illness and harder to get better?

Do we need to be honest with ourselves and others in order to be well.?

Honesty can be a very subjective personal word. What one people feels is being honest another may feel is not.

For many years I was in denial about my illness so I would admit to myself I was ill, I was not honest.

So what does honesty mean to you? So lets start a conversation. All ideas welcome.

Everyone is welcome to comment, new posters, regular posters, I want everyone's ideas.

Quirky

[Quercus]

Hi Quirky,

You've got the knack for important questions as always! I agree with you, fear of rejection is a massive part of why I perform at times.

You asked what is the biggest lie I tell myself and the answer that came to mind is a bit sad really. I tell myself constantly that I am a worthwhile person. But it feels like a lie.

Some days I trust in others, if people I love and respect think I'm worthwhile then I'll trust their judgement.

Sometimes I think of the thread by White Knight (Tony) about giving your reflection positive messages every day until one day you believe it.

My default is to feel inferior and never good enough for people to stick around and care about so I have always tried to please people.

I'm slowly learning to challenge my default. It isn't always easy.

Thank you for your question. It has helped me today. Xo

[sparrowhawk]

Quirky, I think you're on to something. The fear of disappointing or inconveniencing others is one of my greatest fears, and that influences how honeat I am with how I feel. My thought process, combined with experience, tells me that disappointing others leads to rejection. Of course, people will not reject me straight away simply because I disappoint them, but this is the irrationality of my anxiety.

For a long time I was afraid that if I was myself, no one would like me, so I just followed what others did, tried to be funny, etc. It's a bit better now in that I am able to trust some people enough to really be me, but I still do fear that sometimes.

[quirkywords]

Quercus Sparowhawk and everyone,

Quercus,thanks very much for sharing your thoughts honestly.

I feel sorrow that the biggest lie you feel you tell yourself is in fact a lie. I just realise that sounds a bit silly of course it is a lie but it is a very damaging lie. I think it is like that article on imposter syndrome that is on the Beyond Blue website. We don't feel we are worth having an important job, worthy of being a mum and having responsibility for children.

I used to feel I was not worthwhile in a relationship so I kept picking partners who would disrespect me and treat me badly and I felt I deserved that.

I too am learning to trust others positive words about me, it does take time.

sparrowhawk,'

Thanks for your post. Maybe we should think about not disappointing ourselves instead of worrying about disappointing others and caring too much what they think .

Quirky

[quirkywords]

hello everyone

I have been thinking many people are not honest with themselves or others at Christmas time!!

They say Id love to come over and spend Christmas with you, but they don't want to go.

Or they invite you over for Christmas but would rather be alone.

Does this sound familiar?

Quirky