What a wonderful world

[white knight]

One of my favourite songs but the term is so much more.

A 19yo relative came to stay recently. His parents are sadly negative about everything in life. So my wife and I returned to our car where he waiting. Puffing I remarked that I wasn't fit (I'm 66yo), he replied "every part of my body is bad except my lungs...oh, but I do have asthma ".

A few seconds of silence "look at that magpie standing in that tree" I said

"And my tinea hasn't improved either" he continued

"Watch those 2 pups playing, aren't they gorgeous " I said

"Are you trying to ignore me" K barked.

"Well, I do exercise choice, whereby I don't allow people talking about problems when there is so much to observe in life that is wonderful. So, you have that choice K... if you focus on your tinea so much your head will be down while the colours of a rainbow is missed. If you remind yourself of your asthma too often you'll missed the thrill of breathing air. K mumbled something.

I finished my "speech" and googled that song. K realised my intent and joked "ok I get it Tony"... lol.

Of course he didn't "get it" but one day he might. I hope I planted a seed he'll one day reap.

People that think negative imo waste their lives. Sure we either mental health issues have down periods but that robs us of choice. When we are OK we can choose to focus on the wonders of a wonderful world...

TonyWK

[missep123]

Hi TonyWK!

Oh my goodness, I really loved reading this story. I completely related to it because a bad habit I used to have is to be so consumed by stress that I didn't notice the beauty of the day or appreciate the things I should be grateful for. Once I realised how much I was missing by my mindset I realised that I had a choice to be happy! I am definitely going to remember what you wrote! Thank you so much for sharing!

[Petal22]

Hi Tony,

I agree with you 💯 percent 😊

[geoff]

Hello Tony, yes you're right, unfortunately, people who suffer from a mental illness can be fixated on only negative thoughts, however, they are still able to watch two puppies having a play together and reap the benefits from this.

If they are able to have a puppie it's always a great distraction and can provide the bottom rung to the ladder where they can slowly build their way upwards and out of any type of depression.

Best wishes.

Geoff.

[Elizabeth CP]

When I feel down or have something I'm worried about it is difficult to tell others because I don't want to bother them or fear being judged. When I do say something negative and the person dismisses me or passes it off as nothing that reinforces all my negative thoughts. I'm not worthy of others help or attention or I should be able to cope better. In contrast when someone listens and validates your negative feelings as normal in the circumstances it can help you find ways to change. Recently a family member spoke to me by phone. After giving the usual polite replies I'm ok I'm managing they probed more deeply. How am I really feeling. Having someone prepared to listen to my negative stuff and showing real concern was helpful. They offered to speak to other family members to encourage them to make a time to talk so they could better understand and support me. Another friend who had noticed how bad I was suggested I come to her place whenever I felt like it to sit and watch her garden for a break. It was clear she understood I was struggling. She couldnt fix the real problems but knew I needed time away from home and a break from all the pressure I'm under. She also knew I love beautiful gardens so spending time in her garden would help me. She has a beautiful garden. I guess what I'm saying is trying to bury our negative thoughts isnt helpful but I agree that using nature as a break is.

[Summer Rose]

Hi Tony

Thank you for the reminder that we live in a wonderful world with magic all around us. For what it’s worth, I hope your relative did get your message.

I know that taking pleasure in the little things around us can help ease the pain of living with a mental health condition or caring for someone who is unwell. My go to is the night sky or a nature walk. However, the key word is can. It’s not “ will”.

It’s incredibly sad when an individual’s illness and/or symptoms rob them of their choices in life. For some people this is not a challenging period this is a life long battle.

Others still are so unwell that no amount of noticing life’s pleasures is going to change anything—even if they could choose to notice.

And others still may not be choosing to think negatively, but rather choosing to accept their reality. This is where I’m at now.

Trying to accept that my daughter’s OCD is life long, treatment-resistant illness that will never relent. Trying to accept that I can’t cure her. Trying to accept that her future will not be as she had hoped.

So I talk to my supporters and thankfully they don’t judge me but instead understand my pain and “negatively”. More importantly they don’t try to “fix” me they just love me the way I am.

Kind thoughts to you

[white knight]

Wonderful reading.

I acknowledge we are talking about what we are capable of and not trying to suggest we can all be positive all the time.

Geoff also hit the nail on the head with his "two puppies playing" example. Such is the wonder, the appreciation of simple things.

Summer Rose- my daughter has bipolar, ptsd, anxiety and it saddens me I haven't been able to "save" her. I have however, made an impact in several areas like changing her mindset of "why me" to "that's life" and "I felt sorry I had no shoes till I saw a girl with no feet".

But I too strive to accept that my best for her is good enough. When one thinks that way self scrutinise, we'll we must be doing OK.

Elizabeth CP- Your garden love highlights what I call a "reverse trigger", essentially something that has a peaceful energy, a shangrelah effect. If people don't have that I urge them to find their own. For some it's the beach or hills, for others it's giving love. But your 2 caring friends are gold.

Missep- "I had a choice to be happy". That's a personal milestone.

TonyWK

[Petal22]

Hi Tony,

In my journey I too had a choice to be happy and I took it.

I always looked at my world with a negative mindset but then I learned that I had a choice and I could change my mindset from negative to positive it took work but the hard work paid off.

😊

[Elizabeth CP]

Sometimes it feels impossible to be happy. When everything you do seems to go wrong I want to give up

[white knight]

Elizabeth CP

I believe most of us feel hopeless at times. We've been on a trip to Queensland. Anything that could go wrong with our caravan did go wrong. I built it myself.

But now it's OK. I knew it would be. While such stress can be intolerable I always bounce back. This bouncing back is a quality. I feel sorry for those that don't have that capacity

TonyWK