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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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quirkywords Are we only valued if we are paid for our work.?
  • replies: 10

I have always been fortunate to have paid work . I had my own shop for 14 years until at star if last year the bushfires ended that. Suddenly I was forcibly retired . I valued myself by my work and others did. So I felt lost until I did volunteer wor... View more

I have always been fortunate to have paid work . I had my own shop for 14 years until at star if last year the bushfires ended that. Suddenly I was forcibly retired . I valued myself by my work and others did. So I felt lost until I did volunteer work. Even at my work I feel I am not as valued Jed as paid people. How do others feel if you don’t have paid work . Do you feel others don’t value your voluntary work or see your work as unimportant. All comments welcome .

white knight The "gang" mentality
  • replies: 13

Many of us, those with and without MI, will be confronted with the "gang" mentality. Age has no barrier to this especially in cyber world. We felt it in the school yard, in the workplace and now in social media. Why does it exist? Gangs have strength... View more

Many of us, those with and without MI, will be confronted with the "gang" mentality. Age has no barrier to this especially in cyber world. We felt it in the school yard, in the workplace and now in social media. Why does it exist? Gangs have strength by numbers. Often there is a leader and that leader find comfort and security with his/her brood hanging around. With cyber world there might not be a leader, more often than not there is more of a 'feeding frenzy' amongst those that have a common cause- to denigrate and destroy. These groups more often than not are no longer interested in remedy, to keep the victim within their group, no longer believing that person has anything left to offer them anything significant that they themselves can provide. We all know the scenario. Gangs in school were made up with miss/master popular, the kid that didnt have to do much to be so. All he had to do was be the master, the attractive cool type, that seemed to have it all just by being himself, He would always be in the middle with his disciples flanked on either side jostling for his attention. Who were their targets? More often than not their target were kids that didnt fit in well with others, looked different, weren't "cool" and came from well structured caring households. The kids that weren't let loose on the streets, had little self esteem and displayed their fear of them. Natural targets. Social media. Facebook, twitter and the like. Evidence of the 'gang' feeding frenzy- you dont have to look far. Early 2014 actress Charlotte Dawson bowed to the pressure. Faceless cowardly gang member didnt even know each other, but they boarded the bully bus together in a shocking display, public display at that, frenzy that had fatal consequences. Protection? Well even this 58yo male with a security and prison officer background found it just too hard to survive in 2 motoring clubs against the 'flow' of the frenzies. In my case both clubs knew of my struggles mentally as I'm 'out there' with my life and what bothers me. Those that can hide their issues may well be better off, the quiet type, the reserved. But in my case why should I hide anything to be "one of them". T'is why I'm here. I'm one of you. But I feel a loss not maintaining some sort of mild friendship with some of the clubs members. I'm an outcast, I'm not in the "clique". Since distancing from the clubs I'm happier. And that's the bottom line. How do you fare with clubs/groups? How do you survive in them?

Annie_05 45.... Perimenopause?
  • replies: 3

I can’t find a better forum to post this thread...sorry if in wrong place. 45 years old, always have felt and acted young! Aging never bothered me until..now! In last year, Ive turned 45, been thru the Covid world, gotten enagaged and decided to try ... View more

I can’t find a better forum to post this thread...sorry if in wrong place. 45 years old, always have felt and acted young! Aging never bothered me until..now! In last year, Ive turned 45, been thru the Covid world, gotten enagaged and decided to try to fall pregnant....And my anxiety has gone to defcon levels. And when not anxious, Im often depressed or bordering on. I worry myself, in terms of the levels (lack of) of my confidence, self esteem, empowerment and physical change, not to mention anger and lack of control at times. The contrast of me now to 2019 is overwhelming different (and to me, not better). Am wondering of this phase is being driven by perimenpause, or is this phase mimicing PM or are they running 2gthr or what?! I feel like Im a 15 year old again but in an old body. Any other ppl out their in same/similar position? What is your story?

Guest_1643 Where is your safe space?
  • replies: 62

Do you have a happy place? A place where you can exhale, and feel okay, if just for a moment? Is it your backyard, or a shed you work in? Is it at the gym? Do u breathe a sigh of relief when you close the door to your therapists office, knowing you c... View more

Do you have a happy place? A place where you can exhale, and feel okay, if just for a moment? Is it your backyard, or a shed you work in? Is it at the gym? Do u breathe a sigh of relief when you close the door to your therapists office, knowing you can talk about ur life without inhibition? When I was 22 I became a gym-junkie. I went to a gym that was mostly older people and wasn't about body-pride but was truly about being fit and strong. I used to love going there, zoning out, and reading magazines or watching music videos on the gym tvs. I think it was important to have a phsyical place that I felt welcomed and okay. The gym trainers all knew me and told me I was doing great at my regimen... it was a warm place to go and I went often. It was safe. What's ur fave happy space?

John_P meditation and the benefts?
  • replies: 40

Hello My whole life i have dealt with mild mental health issues. From anxiety and depression where i have experienced traumatic events, which have made things worse. i come in and out of my mental health issues. Over the past month or so I have been ... View more

Hello My whole life i have dealt with mild mental health issues. From anxiety and depression where i have experienced traumatic events, which have made things worse. i come in and out of my mental health issues. Over the past month or so I have been trying to meditate daily. Also i have been trying to get in touch with God also through prayer. Even though I am catholic, i dont really preach and attend service weekly, but since i have been praying, i have been thinking of the benefits of trying to persue God and the holy spirit. I think when you persue God, you are really pursuing true self and healing and being fullfilled from the inside through the Holy Spirit. I find it really similar in terms of the effects on your mind and body as mediation. You are trying to heal and be intouch with your inner fullfilled self! Anyone want to discuss their experiences with constant meditation and the persuit of God on treating their mental health? I think it is helping me get more grounded.

white knight The toll of stress upon us
  • replies: 6

Mental illness in my view places us in a fragile state. We walk the edges of our well being rather than have many safety zones by which to fall back on. Therefore we topple regularly and when we do we get hurt, we have to climb up a knotted rope to g... View more

Mental illness in my view places us in a fragile state. We walk the edges of our well being rather than have many safety zones by which to fall back on. Therefore we topple regularly and when we do we get hurt, we have to climb up a knotted rope to get back to our "edge" whereas those without a mental illness "jump" back on without a worry. I dont know about you but I feel every facet of our lives adds to the daily burden of ...well...just existing it seems. If I'm gardening and physically pushing myself then my mental state gets more fragile. I'm more temperamental and less patient. If I attend a crowded area like a shopping centre I last about 30 minutes max then flee back to the car in safety. If I have a tiff with someone it triggers a period of silence and hurt for hours. Stub my toe and it all adds to the rocks in my backpack that I find hard to throw in the river. So what's this post about? It's all about balance and avoidance. It's ok for me, I'm retired. Prior to retiring I had to drive 100,000 kms a year running my own business before it came to an abrupt stop. Had I known the end was coming a few years before I would have gone part time and likely continued for years more. So nowadays if gardening I cease my work not when I'm tired but half way before that, 2 hours max. Then leave the rest for another day. Many of us have anxiety and this need to finish a project overtakes us...STOP...finish it another day. It wont run off! Be aware of the "while we are here..." habit. We went to the beach "while we are here we'll visit the city to get that jumper you wanted" By the time you've returned to your car you are mentally spent. You only need one small incident on the way home to be tipped over that edge. In one sense you become your own time manager. This is what most of us lack, control. We want to complete everything and by yesterday. Ask your partner to help you with this. My wife is often reminding me "you're tired, do you want to go to bed"? or "You have driven a fair way how about I take over". These suggestions are gold to us because they come from an observers viewpoint knowing you are prone not to realise them yourself. That system also means you need to put your pride to one side. As sufferers we must find ways to make life for us and our family and friends more joyful and to do that one of those processes is to lower your stress and anxiety by balancing your workload on projects and avoiding tiredness by getting lots of sleep. TonyWK

contrarymary Meditation and Mindfulness
  • replies: 5

Looking for help and ideas on how to get the best out of mindfulness and meditation. My pycologist gave me some mindfulness apps with exercises to help with my stress but I cannot get the hang of them and breathe in all the wrong places. Same with me... View more

Looking for help and ideas on how to get the best out of mindfulness and meditation. My pycologist gave me some mindfulness apps with exercises to help with my stress but I cannot get the hang of them and breathe in all the wrong places. Same with meditation I went along to a couple of groups followed the instructions but just could not get the hang of it. Is there any special techniques that people would like to share. I follow the instructions on the apps but never seem to get rested

Elizabeth CP Ideas for activities to lift you when tired or depressed
  • replies: 33

When I'm very tired or stressed whether due to MH issues or just other circumstances I struggle to do anything. The problem with this is that I then have too much time for negative thoughts which feed into my depression & anxiety creating a vicious c... View more

When I'm very tired or stressed whether due to MH issues or just other circumstances I struggle to do anything. The problem with this is that I then have too much time for negative thoughts which feed into my depression & anxiety creating a vicious circle. I would like to generate a list of things which can be done when short of physical or mental energy which distract me from the negative thoughts and leave me feeling better rather than worse. I would love it if others can share ideas to help each other. What works in one situation won't work in another My ideas Read a book Suduko Sort or label photos Drive to a nice location and focus on pleasant surroundings phone a friend or relative have a shower sit beside a lake or river with feet in the water

EJB LOOKING FOR HELP AND GUIDANCE
  • replies: 3

Hi, I'm new to beyond blue and this is my first time posting. Over the past few months I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression due to severe stress and trauma over the past year or two. I am lucky enough to have a great GP and have been see... View more

Hi, I'm new to beyond blue and this is my first time posting. Over the past few months I have been diagnosed with anxiety and depression due to severe stress and trauma over the past year or two. I am lucky enough to have a great GP and have been seeing a psychologist for the past month. I have been on antidepressants for just over two weeks now and I didn't have a great start to them, I had severe side effects and became even more depressed and just over a week ago put myself in hospital as I felt like giving up and started to have suicidal thoughts. A week later I have definitely made improvements and have promised my amazing, supporting partner I wont give up fighting. BUT I just wake up crying everyday day, feeling anxious and stressed all the time. I feel like I cant be alone and need my partner around all the time I have been doing meditation and breathing techniques everyday. I'm scared of leaving the house, going back to work (own my business), socialising etc. I guess I'm just after some support and guidance that it will get better, get easier and I will be able to do these things again without fear. I hear this from the medical support I get but I think hearing it from others who have experienced or are going through the same thing would make it feel more believable. I'm open to any advice.

Soy_asi Do I go back on antidepressants or is this just life
  • replies: 9

hello, i am feeling like my life is in a roller coaster at the moment and cant stop. I am not sleeping properly as I wake myself during the night or early morning and My brain goes on overdrive and can not go back to sleep. Then Im tired the next day... View more

hello, i am feeling like my life is in a roller coaster at the moment and cant stop. I am not sleeping properly as I wake myself during the night or early morning and My brain goes on overdrive and can not go back to sleep. Then Im tired the next day and unhappy. There has been a number of things of late that is brought me here today. I am getting anxious, depressed and feel hopeless at times and emotional. I have felt like this once before when i found out I was pregnant with my third child. That just pushed me too far and I was diagnosed with pre natal depression and was prescribed antidepressants. These I took for 8 years. 8 long years when I felt I no longer needed them as I was a busy mum of 3 and the ugly feelings were no longer there. Against medical advice I attempted to wean myself off a few times during those 8 years until finally being successful about 16 months ago. I must say I did not look back and did not feel the need to get back on them. This has all been fine until 2-3 months ago and I dont really understand why. For some reason it has suddenly dawned on me that my children are turning into teengaers and I am just a stay home mum, overweight and unhappy. It all started when I began declattering all my children’s clothes and toys and this put me in such a state that I had to stop as I couldnt deal with the emotions. I found myself feeling really sad that they were no longer babies. This also led to me thinking that I now have all this spare time and whilst Ive managed to keep myself busy volunteering at school and running my kids to and fro. I don’t really have a job and That I should really be working like everyone else. To top all this off, in my good intentions of keeping myself occupied and distracted we have gone and sold our home. Whilst it should be an exciting time of planning and give me a new goal in my life. It has actually done the opposite. I am scared, anxious and panicky about what we have done. It really is stressing me out and i have a lump in my heart. I don’t know what is the answer. I cant shake myself off and get on with it. Do I just battle through this. Do I need to go back on medication. Is that the answer that will make all my problems go away? I really don’t know. I just wish my life was like a year ago contented and settled.