To apologise or not to apologise is that the question?

[quirkywords]

Welcome everyone.

I call myself the queen sorry as I'm always saying sorry whether things are my fault or not .

Someone could tread on my toe and I would say sorry .A friend will be late and I'll say sorry. You get the idea.

I am often being told I say sorry way too much and that could affect my self-esteem..

It is just second nature to say sorry. I am not aware of it until someone points it out.

I thought I know people who never apologize or rarely apologize but no one ever seems to say to them that they should apologise more.

So do you think it is worse to apologise too much or too little ?

I am interested in your personal experiences.

[jtjt_4862]

Hi david'n'goliath,

Ever spiraling down the "sorry for being sorry", that sounds like sorryception.

On a more serious note though, I feel if someone is constantly apologizing, even to the point of apologizing for the apologies, it's definitely debilitating to their self-confidence, and could lead to depression. It could make a person feel like, whatever they're doing is always wrong, and they have to constantly apologize for any actions that they do.

Jt

[quirkywords]

Thanks everyone for the posts.

Geoff yes it can be tricky when you apologise and the person takes it as patronising.

DnG I like your new avatar .

I also am often called pedantic or in my family they say don’t channel Pop, as my dad was like that. I think every family needs one pedantic person..

jtjt I have learnt the hard way about over apologising and self esteem.

In a chaotic relationship , when I stopped oversorrying and being assertive it acised more problems so I became quiet. I let the person rave on and eventually as I didn’t react they stopped. Mind you when someone is personally attacking you it is hard so I would remove myself to another room. I agree over apologising is not good for one self esteem but replying or being quiet can be challenging too. the only thing to work was end the relationship. Thanks for your comments.

[Guest9337]

sorryception, cool man. Agents in the art of sorry identification and manipulation delve deep into superrichdudes consciousness to find out the very first time superrichdude felt sorry, then use that as a reason to split up a massive company! Epic.

Saying sorry is one tool in the Survivors handbook : Survivors say sorry to the Abuser so that they defuse and don't hurt the victim.

It's a survival strategy for some, gotta respect that, using ones words to survive is an intelligent thing to do!

[Guest9337]

"Plausible denial involves the creation of power structures and chains of command loose and informal enough to be denied if necessary. " wikipedia.

So Plausible deniability is one means that Institutions actively create so that the Institution suffers less "harm", i.e. negative effects.

I am big corporation owner with 10,000 employees, I am not responsible for every single little thing my minions, look there in that 1000 page document where I placed conditions upon their employment that they couldn't do that irresponsible thing you say they did. Like I did my very best to train them in those 1000 pages, we spent 100 hours on it, see there is the document proving that.

Please sir/madam don't take even one cent from my/the corporation, for restoring damages by my irresponsible employees alleged harm.

[quirkywords]

I am still try not to over apologise so I wonder if anyone else is trying to not apologise unnecessarily. I seem to say sorry even when it is not needed.