The frog and the scorpion. Our nature

[white knight]

Briefly the story goes like this-

A scorpion eager to get to the other side of the river asked a frog to transport him there in his back. The frog refused telling the scorpion that he'd sting him once he got there and he'd die. The scorpion insisted he wouldn't kill him so the frog took him to the other side. Almost at the bank the scorpion sung the frog and before dying the frog asked the scorpion why he did that as he pledge he wouldn't....the scorpion replied "because its in my nature"..

And so we come to the theme here. The inherent qualities both good and bad inside us that cannot be changed. The foundation of our character will not budge. All the other parts that are plasticine can be moulded to improve on our faults. But we really are a ship on a course with our nature.

That leads me to ask the question- if there is a characteristic you don't like (often highlighted by another person) that is in ground in your personality, what can you do about it?

E.g. I have a slight anger problem. I usually brush it off with "stress" but in reality I have to own it. Even though it's my nature, with anger there is a victim, be it a slight raising of your voice (my case), or worse.

The fact remains, change is near impossible. The "slight raising of my voice" is the result of a build up of disappointment that one tries to suppress, then balm! It all overflows.

I've come to the realisation that with the ever predicted outburst if I can move on quickly then life's good. However if that event repeats itself too often the victim can tire of it.

To judge if your trait is inherited just look at members of your blood family. Do they get angry? Are they selfish?

To summarize- we are talking about personality flaws we don't choose, they are part of your inherited make up.

Do you have any and how do you control them?

Tony

[missep123]

You are very right Tony! I really connected with what you wrote about the fact that we are often much fairer on others than we are in ourselves. I often have to remind myself to be kind to myself! Internally we can often be so hard on ourselves and have an internal dialogue the we would never do to our friends.

[white knight]

Hi missep

Expectations of ourselves that are unreasonable is self abuse.

What do you think?

TonyWK

[missep123]

Hi Tony!

That is definitely thought-provoking. I would say that I agree with you when I think about it generally because it is almost as if you are throwing these negative and hurtful words and thoughts to yourself constantly.

The other day I got a rejection for a job application and instead of thinking to myself 'you're worthless', 'you're not good enough' I reframed it as redirection to a job that will make me truly happy. Rejections always hurt but the fact that I really tried to not spiral into my old thinking patterns really helped me. I ended up having a great day that day and didn't let that impede me 🙂

[NonStampCollectorFan]

Hello

First time here. I had a chat with two JW missionaries where the analogy I replied with was not too different from this topic. The Adam and Eve story and how its similar to putting two pet frogs in with a scorpion and expecting the frogs to not be stung. - I have not read it all but with that said. I'm sure there's people out who believe their own lies in a general sense. Dreaming is a part of the decision making process and hope is a dream habit that can reap a lot of despair. - peace out.

[white knight]

Hi NSCF

Thankyou for posting.

I enjoy metaphors, making sense of things.

Another you can find in search is-

Depression, a ship on the high seas

Regards

TonyWK

[white knight]

Has anyone tried to change themselves so much it is akin to changing your nature?

I recall as a young airman in the Air Force at 17-20yo then 21-24yo as a prison officer, I was criticised for my behaviour so much by domineering even tyrannical older men that I hated myself and tried so hard to change, little did I realise my immaturity was set to remain that way until development came naturally.

I've since become a firm believer that your nature, being natural, is nothing to be ashamed of as long as you pout effort into changing what you can change within comfort zones. We should never be ashamed for being who we are and if we do that is a reflection of society not us.

Take fat shaming. Reasons for being overweight (I am) is many, genes, childhood diet, lack of exercise from being disabled or restricted, mental health that leads to depression and lack of motivation to name a few. Are those reasons blameable? No. However we are often shamed more often by slim people. 

Baldness- I have thick wavy hair. When at school in the 1960's long hair was fashionable and if you couldnt grow it long you were ridiculed. Now a few remaining friends from that era are bald, yet I have all my hair! 

Accepting your nature, accepting YOU as being YOU as a unique human being is so beneficial and achievable rather than fighting the losing inner battle to be what other people think you should be.

Like yourself, be yourself

TonyWK

[white knight]

Hi everyone

Under this thread I thought it the best thread to mention- defiance. In all societies there is the presence of people that judge us, indeed we also judge others, that is human nature. However, humans, to be critical, can be unintelligent, nasty, domineering and other things judging our behaviour in terms of our mental health issues. 

Some of these behaviours we develop due to our issues can be- sensitivity, emotional expression, anger, frustration, anti social appearance etc. History can also be unkind like- a stint in psychiatric care, a known meltdown, an event of over reaction, not reaching expectations like attending family events. 

You get the picture. Well, I'm entering my twilight years now (66) and I look back on the opposition I faced against all of the above. I'm quite negative when it comes to a good percentage of humans I've had contact with and for good reason, however I've fully embraced those that have fully accepted me worts and all. That divide has served me well in the last 15 years or so, having made the decision to reject and separate the toxic people in my life.

So my post today it about "our nature". We are who we are and as long as we strive to be good human beings we have every right to be who we are. As long as we put effort in to not hurt others and progress with our flaws we are not to blame for our scars. 

Love yourself to make balance of the negative effect some place upon us with their naivety, their cruel judgements and their arrogance. Give to others and reward your kindness. Live in the peace bubble by removing the toxic.... no matter who they are.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CHcYhQfrXCs

TonyWK

[Guest_1584]

Hi to one and all.

And yeah , that last line there Tony , man , how right you are. As in the sister l just spoke about in the Fortress thread.

l've been working with the no good for me people in my life a long time now and either thrown them out for good or backed it right of to that vary casual nothing type acquaintance thing . lt's left me with very few people in my life unfortunately well, sort of. l don't like too many in it anyway but there's even less now. But it had to be done and l've been far better for it since.

And now this sister, l actually used the word toxic in the text l sent her after her last round of abuse and that she is being removed.

As for our core bad traits , yeah . Me l've managed to work on most and at least get them under control. l still falter but l must say , there is one hell of an improvement these days .

rx 

[white knight]

Hi random

Any form of progress must in itself be acknowledged as just that. To gauge or measure progress is to open yourself to possible disappointment. To never expect anything means you'll never be disappointed.

You're doing well.

TonyWK