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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Guest_0932 What would you want to hear?
  • replies: 5

When in hospital, what helps you to hear from friends? I have a friend who is currently in hospital. I want her to know I'm thinking of her but also give her space so I'm not overwhelming her while she is so unwell. She is having some really hard day... View more

When in hospital, what helps you to hear from friends? I have a friend who is currently in hospital. I want her to know I'm thinking of her but also give her space so I'm not overwhelming her while she is so unwell. She is having some really hard days and not up to communicating much at the moment. She let me know she had a hard day the other day and will probably be admitted for longer then planned. I want to let her know I'm thinking of her, am here if she needs anything and will be here when she is discharged . I know she does know that and I don't want to overwhelm her by bombarding her with messages if that makes sense. She really isn't up to much at the moment. I know everyone is different but what do people find helpful or how best can friends on the outside show support during hospital admissions without been overwhelming?

white knight Fortress of survival part 2
  • replies: 9

In the original thread "fortress of survival" the theme was to build, brick by brick a barrier between you and the world that had not been built when we were teenagers. Once built you'd have a wall that you could determine if someone was trustworthy ... View more

In the original thread "fortress of survival" the theme was to build, brick by brick a barrier between you and the world that had not been built when we were teenagers. Once built you'd have a wall that you could determine if someone was trustworthy enough to allow in or destructive enough to turf out. Ive noticed through studies that people without mental illness have additional steps that others need to take in the proving stage. With the original fortress we either love them or reject them, that results in much hurt. So, we should add more filters. A stranger knocks on the fortress wall. You dont open the door! You check with your eyepiece, ask them questions and guage compatibility and trust. Then entry to the foyer where over time you evaluate them. Then the kitchen for a meal, in a group. Then eventually the lounge. Only your soul mate visits the loft. This snakes and ladders process is implemented for your own protection. Having mania and other illnesses can make us vulnerable. Pure honesty to everyone is like waving a flag on it written "soft touch". Build your fortress, add a foyer to question potential friends, dont be so trustworthy and you'll protect your well being and maintain your dignity. TonyWK

Soberlicious96 Restless, Irritable and Discontent
  • replies: 3

Sometimes I get restless irritable and discontent, even though my life is going great. I have so much to be grateful for, I really do. But it's like I get this 'itch' for more. Like I want to do something more, and I want it now, but I don't know wha... View more

Sometimes I get restless irritable and discontent, even though my life is going great. I have so much to be grateful for, I really do. But it's like I get this 'itch' for more. Like I want to do something more, and I want it now, but I don't know what it is. I start looking at online courses, or starting a new hobby or something ...... but it's always something I can get quickly ...... like I used to get that quick fix from a drink or a drug. I haven't HAD ANY (alcoholic) drink or (illicit) drugs for a long time now, nor do I desire that. But I feel like my disease .... or, as I've heard others pronounce it as dis-ease - as in, away from ease - is trying to sabotage me and get me back into the gutter, one restless, irritable and discontent thought at a time. I've also heard people call it alcoholISM, not alcoholWASM. As in, I may be recovered, but I'm not cured. I fully believe that that is the eternal condition of the disease and that the 'R.I.D. feeling may never bee totally gone. And it's times like this that I fully get that ISM bit ..... because even though I don't want to drink or drug, I want to eat. Just something, anything, but I can't decide what it is, because I'm not actually hungry, I'm 'bored' ...... I've got the RID's and want to rid myself of that feeling. I'm probably not alone in having these feelings either ...... I just identify it, for me, as being the core of my dis-ease, drinking or not. If that makes sense anyway. Distraction helps though; I cleaned my teeth. Why is that important you ask? Because it helps to deter me from wanting to dirty up my teeth with food! And I write. .... or, in this case, type. ...... I've also brought some little things on eBay which I've wanted for a while, looked at buying lego, looked at short courses in Mental Health First Aid (which was a module in a Diploma I did years ago and really enjoyed it, although also found quite challenging). Oh, and watched MAFS!!! Wow, has THAT got some interesting stuff going on! I suppose at least I'm aware of what is going on, and I know what to do about it. I only know two ways of living; the way I used to live before recovery (drunk, alone, angry, scared and confused) or sober, reliable, mindful, useful and grateful. I know which way I prefer and will go to ANY reasonable lengths to maintain and grow in that way; sober and with my dignity intact. Anyway, thanks for reading. I feel better now. xo

ypla How do you avoid questions if you feel overwhelmed by them?
  • replies: 4

Hi, It's me again, with my social anxiety questions. This time I'm coming from the opposite end of the spectrum. The other day at work, this person started asking me personal questions at work even though I knew him from uni and I felt like I answere... View more

Hi, It's me again, with my social anxiety questions. This time I'm coming from the opposite end of the spectrum. The other day at work, this person started asking me personal questions at work even though I knew him from uni and I felt like I answered his questions before. Anyways, he started gunning me down with question after question. I wasn't asking him back and I could feel social anxiety as I rubbed my hands together and felt tense. Other times people ask me what I did over the weekend, the same people that asked me if I had plans for the weekend. With my flipping mind, I change plans very quickly and don't know how to answer if I didn't do over the weekend. I'd rather avoid these questions than making awkward conversations but sometimes people catch me off guard. I avoid having lunch with these people and go for a walk during my lunch break but that's not the case all the time. Did you have a similar situation? Did you feel anxious? And how do you avoid these situations?

PsychedelicFur Sharing Song Lyrics That Have Helped You!
  • replies: 10

Today, I am sharing a few lines from a beautiful Crowded House song called ‘Distant Sun’ Feel free to share song lyrics that have helped/or are helping you get through a rough or dark patch. sharing something positive to hopefully help others out!!! ... View more

Today, I am sharing a few lines from a beautiful Crowded House song called ‘Distant Sun’ Feel free to share song lyrics that have helped/or are helping you get through a rough or dark patch. sharing something positive to hopefully help others out!!! Positive messages are encouraged on this thread!!! ‘Still so young to travel so far, old enough to know who you are. Wise enough to carry the spark.’ - Distant Sun, Crowded House.

Azek Self Compassion Exercises
  • replies: 3

I regret not being able to contribute on the forums, so I hope this endorsement can help some people out there struggling with depression. Search for "self compassion" and the first result should be this: https://self-compassion.org/ I encourage peop... View more

I regret not being able to contribute on the forums, so I hope this endorsement can help some people out there struggling with depression. Search for "self compassion" and the first result should be this: https://self-compassion.org/ I encourage people to have a look at the concept and read what it is about. You will see there is a tab for exercises, and I've used the self compassion journal on and off for almost 18 months, and have returned to it recently after a downturn in mood. If you struggle with depression, self esteem, schemas, loss of hope, regret, self hatred, or anger among other things, I really encourage you to have a read about this concept, and most importantly realise: you yourself are just as worthy of compassion and kindness as any other person.

quirkywords Are we only valued if we are paid for our work.?
  • replies: 10

I have always been fortunate to have paid work . I had my own shop for 14 years until at star if last year the bushfires ended that. Suddenly I was forcibly retired . I valued myself by my work and others did. So I felt lost until I did volunteer wor... View more

I have always been fortunate to have paid work . I had my own shop for 14 years until at star if last year the bushfires ended that. Suddenly I was forcibly retired . I valued myself by my work and others did. So I felt lost until I did volunteer work. Even at my work I feel I am not as valued Jed as paid people. How do others feel if you don’t have paid work . Do you feel others don’t value your voluntary work or see your work as unimportant. All comments welcome .

ypla How do you answer 'How's your day?' if you're having a bad day?
  • replies: 6

Today I went to my safe place after working from home because I wasn't feeling well. Walked for an hour to reach my safe place which also has a nice gelato shop. I walked in and I immediately saw this beautiful gelato server and she asked how my day ... View more

Today I went to my safe place after working from home because I wasn't feeling well. Walked for an hour to reach my safe place which also has a nice gelato shop. I walked in and I immediately saw this beautiful gelato server and she asked how my day was. Not really knowing how to answer and still trying to make social interaction I said it was fine, I've been walking for exercise. But I wasn't really fine, I didn't talk to anyone all day except this person and I kind of wanted to let her know that I was so glad she asked how my day was but I didn't want to send out negative energy with the status of my mental health. How would you go about this? Should I let her or for that matter anyone know that I feel great when people ask how I'm doing? What will they think of me? Is it creepy? Thank you

white knight The "gang" mentality
  • replies: 13

Many of us, those with and without MI, will be confronted with the "gang" mentality. Age has no barrier to this especially in cyber world. We felt it in the school yard, in the workplace and now in social media. Why does it exist? Gangs have strength... View more

Many of us, those with and without MI, will be confronted with the "gang" mentality. Age has no barrier to this especially in cyber world. We felt it in the school yard, in the workplace and now in social media. Why does it exist? Gangs have strength by numbers. Often there is a leader and that leader find comfort and security with his/her brood hanging around. With cyber world there might not be a leader, more often than not there is more of a 'feeding frenzy' amongst those that have a common cause- to denigrate and destroy. These groups more often than not are no longer interested in remedy, to keep the victim within their group, no longer believing that person has anything left to offer them anything significant that they themselves can provide. We all know the scenario. Gangs in school were made up with miss/master popular, the kid that didnt have to do much to be so. All he had to do was be the master, the attractive cool type, that seemed to have it all just by being himself, He would always be in the middle with his disciples flanked on either side jostling for his attention. Who were their targets? More often than not their target were kids that didnt fit in well with others, looked different, weren't "cool" and came from well structured caring households. The kids that weren't let loose on the streets, had little self esteem and displayed their fear of them. Natural targets. Social media. Facebook, twitter and the like. Evidence of the 'gang' feeding frenzy- you dont have to look far. Early 2014 actress Charlotte Dawson bowed to the pressure. Faceless cowardly gang member didnt even know each other, but they boarded the bully bus together in a shocking display, public display at that, frenzy that had fatal consequences. Protection? Well even this 58yo male with a security and prison officer background found it just too hard to survive in 2 motoring clubs against the 'flow' of the frenzies. In my case both clubs knew of my struggles mentally as I'm 'out there' with my life and what bothers me. Those that can hide their issues may well be better off, the quiet type, the reserved. But in my case why should I hide anything to be "one of them". T'is why I'm here. I'm one of you. But I feel a loss not maintaining some sort of mild friendship with some of the clubs members. I'm an outcast, I'm not in the "clique". Since distancing from the clubs I'm happier. And that's the bottom line. How do you fare with clubs/groups? How do you survive in them?

Annie_05 45.... Perimenopause?
  • replies: 3

I can’t find a better forum to post this thread...sorry if in wrong place. 45 years old, always have felt and acted young! Aging never bothered me until..now! In last year, Ive turned 45, been thru the Covid world, gotten enagaged and decided to try ... View more

I can’t find a better forum to post this thread...sorry if in wrong place. 45 years old, always have felt and acted young! Aging never bothered me until..now! In last year, Ive turned 45, been thru the Covid world, gotten enagaged and decided to try to fall pregnant....And my anxiety has gone to defcon levels. And when not anxious, Im often depressed or bordering on. I worry myself, in terms of the levels (lack of) of my confidence, self esteem, empowerment and physical change, not to mention anger and lack of control at times. The contrast of me now to 2019 is overwhelming different (and to me, not better). Am wondering of this phase is being driven by perimenpause, or is this phase mimicing PM or are they running 2gthr or what?! I feel like Im a 15 year old again but in an old body. Any other ppl out their in same/similar position? What is your story?