Staying well

New Year's Resolutions anyone?

replies: 7

Beautiful forum users, We're several weeks into 2023 already, and I just wondered if anybody had any New Year's resolutions that they would be willing to share here. Hopefully there's not already a post like this, I'd be rather embarrassed. I always ... View more

Beautiful forum users, We're several weeks into 2023 already, and I just wondered if anybody had any New Year's resolutions that they would be willing to share here. Hopefully there's not already a post like this, I'd be rather embarrassed. I always try to make an effort to do some resolutions or goals, in the interests of trying to reset my mental health and wellbeing at the beginning of each new year. "New year, new me", if you will. A few of my goals: Go to bed earlier and wake up earlierTry and keep a consistent gym schedule (3 days a week)Cut out junk food as much as practicalTake advantage of career opportunities as much as practicalMake time for passions regularlyMeditate every few days to stay grounded Please feel free to share if you have any! SB

Medication is a whirlpool

replies: 22

My wife has had depression most of her 50 years. When down she sleeps and is less motivated than normal. I have bipolar 2, dysthymia (another form of depression) and depression. My depression is not like my wife's type. I fall into sadness and an ove... View more

My wife has had depression most of her 50 years. When down she sleeps and is less motivated than normal. I have bipolar 2, dysthymia (another form of depression) and depression. My depression is not like my wife's type. I fall into sadness and an overwhelming feeling of needing to escape from the world....no wallet, no food, no common sense. Into the bush I'd go. My wife and I married 4 years ago but we have known each other for 28 years now. Since marriage we have tried many medications and we have wanted to throw them away at times. Each time we have stopped taking them we soon have meltdowns. Then the arguments start and the hours of separation. This occured so often that for the sake of a/ personal safety and b/ to contain our "escaping" desires, we would make a rule that we didnt leave the property and the other person wouldnt hound the other....just leave them be. A good rule. But we have identified the effect of medication. That so much experimentation has found that we NEED it. That we are not in a position to self "UNMEDICATE". THAT TO UNMEDICATE LEADS TO DISASTER. The metaphor I came up with just today when answering another post is- like we are holding hands at the side of a whirlpool with the current (our illnesses) rushing past us. The walls of the whirlpool we grasp onto is the medication. When we let go we are pulled towards the centre of the whirlpool and we cant maintain holding hands. As we are sucked around and down we lose sight of each other. Only when we realise that our choice of stopping taking our meds caused this state do we restart our medication and return to the rim of the pool. Sufferers and our partners are not qualified to alter medication prescribed by a doctor. There are reasons for that. Medication isnt meant to be stopped and started when you like. Stability in your life and your relationships will come when you accept that medication should not be stopped at will without doctors guidance and advice. i.e. the current becomes less turbulent. When owning a car you get a service say every 20,000 kms. When 20,000kms comes around since the last service do you decide....nope, I wont replace the oil, dont worry about topping up the coolant and I dont care if the ball joints arent greased. The car wont last long. It would have a breakdown.... Hang onto the rim of your whirlpool so you have a firm grip of the hands of your loved ones. Letting go...isnt worth the heartbreak and the breakdown. Tony WK

Helpful podcasts

replies: 6

Hi everyone I hope you're all doing well today. I would love to hear about other member's favourite podcasts. It's a new concept for me, podcasts. My daughter told me about the "No such thing as a fish" podcast by the QI Elves. It's funny and full of... View more

Hi everyone I hope you're all doing well today. I would love to hear about other member's favourite podcasts. It's a new concept for me, podcasts. My daughter told me about the "No such thing as a fish" podcast by the QI Elves. It's funny and full of information. It makes me laugh too. They laugh a lot lol. I stumbled across "And she rises the ___ up!" by Amanda Frances. Pretty wild but full of energy and vigour. Awesome visualisation exercises and aiming to support women to financial freedom. That's it, I'm out lol! Do you have one you'd like to share? More than one even? I guess being in the Staying Well forum, it'd be great if the subject was comedy or personal growth or just enjoyable for you. Thankyou Ecomama

Minimalism and creating a peaceful space

replies: 107

My parents are both hopeless hoarders. When I first moved out of Mum's house many moons ago, I marvelled at how much space I had in my tiny little unit. It was a new experience and I loved it. Even so, with me not being inclined to take up the torch ... View more

My parents are both hopeless hoarders. When I first moved out of Mum's house many moons ago, I marvelled at how much space I had in my tiny little unit. It was a new experience and I loved it. Even so, with me not being inclined to take up the torch of the hoarder, I managed to accumulate a lot. Sentimental bits from my younger days, gifts, free stuff I thought I was just too poor to say no to - could need it later, and not be able to afford it, right? There were also bills and sensitive documents I just didn't know what to do with, and boy do they pile up over the years! And worst of all, relationships - when you live with someone, they bring in their own lifetime of clutter, oftentimes leaving a whole bunch of it behind when they leave. And again related to being poor, if any money came my way I wanted to treat myself. A book, or an article of clothing was often the go to. Guess who had a bunch of books she never read and clothes that didn't get worn. When I parted ways with my most recent ex, he left an extraordinary tonne of junk behind. I made it my mission to get rid of it, and along with it anything of my own I didn't want any more. I had gifts I neither used or particularly liked, boxes of books I bought with the thought I should get them while I had money to read when I didn't (they moved - along with the sensitive documents - from house to house in boxes that never got opened), even clothes from when I was a teenager (those suckers never gonna fit again, and they sure aren't in style any more). In the course of trying to find more and better ways to pare down all this stuff sucking the life out of me, I discovered there were a whole heap of other people who thought like me and wanted what I wanted. Minimalists. There are articles and blogs and tonnes of inspiration out there, and they helped me immensely. I've been on the journey for a bit over four years, and it took most of that time to get my home how I want it. But now I can easily find things I want to use and don't have to clean, organise or maintain half as much stuff. I don't feel compelled to buy things on a whim or to feel good, because I just don't need them - I'm actually repelled by the idea of having more objects around me. I now have much more time and space and peace. I thought that worth sharing. What a fantastic tool it's been for looking after my mental health!

Tips to do more days at work?

replies: 5

Hi! I got a job with flexible hours but I'm struggling to maintain even 1 day a week, I would like to work a full work week (4-5 days) so does anyone have any tips? Getting lunch at a nearby cafe and taking painkillers aren't making it anymore manage... View more

Hi! I got a job with flexible hours but I'm struggling to maintain even 1 day a week, I would like to work a full work week (4-5 days) so does anyone have any tips? Getting lunch at a nearby cafe and taking painkillers aren't making it anymore manageable.

How to cope

replies: 4

I work in a nursing home and there’s obviously traumatising things that happen. Earlier in the year we had a Covid outbreak and unfortunately lost a fair few residents which broke me. We’ve just had Covid cases again in our facility and I feel like m... View more

I work in a nursing home and there’s obviously traumatising things that happen. Earlier in the year we had a Covid outbreak and unfortunately lost a fair few residents which broke me. We’ve just had Covid cases again in our facility and I feel like my mind is going into a breakdown about it, the fear of losing people I care about scares me so much. I know it’s life and I know it’s why they are in homes, to go eventually anyway. I get so emotionally attached to these people, like I would give them my world. How do I learn to cope with this? I don’t normally talk about things, I hold it all in and I feel like I’ve been breaking down a lot more in the last year because of it. I just need some ways to cope with it.thanks for listening, I feel safe here and not judged.

Family blues? The secret of a Merry Christmas

replies: 6

Countless people this time of year face family conflict. Anxiety even from wars far away or human or financial hardship or animal misery can all take their toll. We need a "back to basics" mentality. Xmas for those with mental health issues or relati... View more

Countless people this time of year face family conflict. Anxiety even from wars far away or human or financial hardship or animal misery can all take their toll. We need a "back to basics" mentality. Xmas for those with mental health issues or relationship challenges can be saved with an internal focus on- your own needs dragging out goodwill to others perhaps less fortunate. Serving soup to the homeless?the years reflection and the next year plans. A positive outlook.valuing the minimal contact with others (yes, sharing xmas cake and a brew with just one person). Tokenism can "represent" a successful xmas.So the spirit of xmas can be rewarding regardless of family squabbles. This year 2022 I'm experiencing my own family split. While sad that these irreconcilable differences have happened in the last 2 weeks I will not allow such sad circumstances to cloud the message of the event. I'm an atheist, but that has zero bearing on my belief that xmas often does have family issues, hardship and hurt, so expecting it helps accept it. By far the greatest attitude we can adopt is not positivity (although it helps) and is not selfishness (although we at times need to be) but it's "empathy" and "giving"- to acknowledge there is worse off, to create actions of wiping the tears of a poor person with a xmas dinner, to love a family of birds with seed or mow an elderly persons lawn. https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/staying-well/humility-and-quot-the-good-samaritan-quot/td-p/307504 Our purpose on this planet is not to enter into self harm, suicidal thoughts etc and to carry the burden of trauma. Our purpose is to survive and channel our efforts into lifting others up from their feelings of hopelessness. For like many I've been at ground level and here I am reaching out to you, I'm holding your hands right now, I'm hugging you, yes, I'm wiping your tears... and lifting. Life can be so good, I want you to come with me to be where I am. Financial cost zero, love and empathy cost- all you can muster. If you develop this theme of thinking along with letting family conflict come and go then you will be happier and more fulfilled.That's the secret of a merry Christmas...TonyWK

The frog and the scorpion. Our nature

replies: 38

Briefly the story goes like this- A scorpion eager to get to the other side of the river asked a frog to transport him there in his back. The frog refused telling the scorpion that he'd sting him once he got there and he'd die. The scorpion insisted ... View more

Briefly the story goes like this- A scorpion eager to get to the other side of the river asked a frog to transport him there in his back. The frog refused telling the scorpion that he'd sting him once he got there and he'd die. The scorpion insisted he wouldn't kill him so the frog took him to the other side. Almost at the bank the scorpion sung the frog and before dying the frog asked the scorpion why he did that as he pledge he wouldn't....the scorpion replied "because its in my nature".. And so we come to the theme here. The inherent qualities both good and bad inside us that cannot be changed. The foundation of our character will not budge. All the other parts that are plasticine can be moulded to improve on our faults. But we really are a ship on a course with our nature. That leads me to ask the question- if there is a characteristic you don't like (often highlighted by another person) that is in ground in your personality, what can you do about it? E.g. I have a slight anger problem. I usually brush it off with "stress" but in reality I have to own it. Even though it's my nature, with anger there is a victim, be it a slight raising of your voice (my case), or worse. The fact remains, change is near impossible. The "slight raising of my voice" is the result of a build up of disappointment that one tries to suppress, then balm! It all overflows. I've come to the realisation that with the ever predicted outburst if I can move on quickly then life's good. However if that event repeats itself too often the victim can tire of it. To judge if your trait is inherited just look at members of your blood family. Do they get angry? Are they selfish? To summarize- we are talking about personality flaws we don't choose, they are part of your inherited make up. Do you have any and how do you control them? Tony

Fortress of survival part 3

replies: 10

Some of us endure family division. It could be said that some also, due to living with extreme thinking and behaviour, are more likely to disown family and friends than those without a mental illness. This post is not to delve into the justification ... View more

Some of us endure family division. It could be said that some also, due to living with extreme thinking and behaviour, are more likely to disown family and friends than those without a mental illness. This post is not to delve into the justification of same but to cover the survival aspect of our decision making or if disowning was the decision of other upon you. When a young adult I saw the possible division of family as really traumatic. How could I survive without my niece that joined a religious cult? or my mother due to her narcissism?, or my school friend that judged my depression as an act of God? As I aged I slowly realised that family isnt who you share blood, otherwise we'd be stuck with them forever regardless of toxicity. Family is whom you choose and that has one big advantage- compatibility. Christmas seem to highlight these issues. What I find amusing (sorry) is how xmas after xmas some people endure the same arguments with the same relatives ...all because they are "family" and for the whole year in between they fume/dwell over the same negativity and plan what they'll say next xmas in combat. Why? Well some of us move on from all of that and find loving people to enjoy our time. This is one wall of the fortress of survival because we will find our company is more enjoyable by keeping out the tension and keeping in the loving caring ones. That balance is important for harmony and that is important for our mental health. Full rejection of family and friends that dont comply with this harmony isnt the only answer. If you can you should try to maintain a half way friendship- see them as acquaintances which could mean a "hello/ goodbye have a happy new year". Some of these people might be thinking the same and is quite content to keep it at that especially if the end result is enough to please the older members of a family longing for the whole family to be united. But remember, while you can attempt this if it doesnt work and there is conflict then it isnt your fault to remain absent from such gatherings. It is a right. Fortress of survival the original thread dealt with how, due to upbringing, we dont develop a screening of people and therefore allow anyone to enter our lives only to get hurt. Fortress of survival part 2 dealt with implementing filters to allow some to enter the gates of your life. Here in part 3 I'm suggesting to edge out family and friends that are not compatible and not endure their wrath at gatherings. TonyWK

🌱 Diary- 5 Things You Noticed in Nature Today

replies: 314

Can you think of 5 things you noticed or observed in nature today, using all your senses? I was wondering if this would be a beneficial exercise to help us focus on something else instead of painful emotions, troubled thoughts, over thinking, anxiety... View more

Can you think of 5 things you noticed or observed in nature today, using all your senses? I was wondering if this would be a beneficial exercise to help us focus on something else instead of painful emotions, troubled thoughts, over thinking, anxiety feelings and the darkness of that alone place. As well as to see that there really is beauty all around us....

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A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members

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