Staying well

Can't seem to work normally and now I'm studying

replies: 5

Hey all, I've been working for a while but I've been having panic attacks from stress especially since starting uni. I've always had trouble staying in a job long term, I do qualify for a disability payment because of my diagnoses that I assume is th... View more

Hey all, I've been working for a while but I've been having panic attacks from stress especially since starting uni. I've always had trouble staying in a job long term, I do qualify for a disability payment because of my diagnoses that I assume is the cause of all the panic attacks I've been having. But I feel like I would just be being lazy and not really worth that sort of support. Any advice?

On the way up?

replies: 5

I feel like things are finally on the way up for me. I had my weight loss surgery last week. Was successful in my two week pre op diet, have been great since surgery and really sticking to my postop diet which is basically just cottage cheese, yoghur... View more

I feel like things are finally on the way up for me. I had my weight loss surgery last week. Was successful in my two week pre op diet, have been great since surgery and really sticking to my postop diet which is basically just cottage cheese, yoghurt and soup! Ive really surprised myself on how disciplined ive been with this process. Im also surprised that despite having 80% of my stomach cut away, my medication for bipolar is still having its effect! I was told that the medication may need altering and that weight loss might be slower but i feel like things are going well so far. Ive had so much motivation since the surgery. Motivation to get back to working, earning income again, to get healthy. I even loved my time at the private hospital so much that im actually considering going private for my next baby! This weight loss surgery, it wasnt just to lose the weight. It was to resolve other issues too, mainly to do with fertility. So im hoping that in 12-18 months ill be set to start trying for that baby ive been longing for for so many years now. Its my next biggest step in life! Its exciting that things are getting back on track. But it also makes me worry, what if these feelings are bipolar related and ill just come crashing down at any moment? That thought freaks me out!

Mental illness ruining your life?

replies: 2

Having any type of mental illness is initially daunting. The journey begins with either astonishment or relief. The steep learning curve is a challenge, some expectations of others for support is needed but there never seems to be enough explanation ... View more

Having any type of mental illness is initially daunting. The journey begins with either astonishment or relief. The steep learning curve is a challenge, some expectations of others for support is needed but there never seems to be enough explanation nor contentment to keep us happy. I found that realisation came a year or two after diagnosis. From then on my mental illness became an obsession, after all, this was a major life event, something I couldn't visualise and loved ones quickly lost interest. I needed a reality check, some self assessment of sorts. Apart from all of these steps one challenge was over and above all others- to get my life back by not allowing my illnesses to dominate my thinking. Being a talker doesn't help. I'm torn between wanting to limit myself from human contact, clubs etc but needing human company. Nevertheless, I had to accept that many things I'd previously focussed on like hobbies and sports... had drifted away, essentially they had been replaced with an obsession. Major changes were made. We purchased a motortrike, a camper trailer. We ventured to beautiful places where in tranquility I'd write poetry, began following my footy team and channelled a lot of my thoughts on mental illness towards Beyondblue rather than sharing them with loved ones. In my experience all obsessions are destructive in some form. Getting an obsession into perspective allows you to focus more on living life. It might not be possible at this time for some people that suffer greatly with their condition disabling them. For those souls be patient and wait for your mind to mend, an opportunity might well come along, then grab it and re-enter the beautiful world we occupy...there's a lot of living to do. TonyWK

I'm new here. My wifes an alcoholic

replies: 10

I'm heartbroken. My beautiful wife who i love very much is an alcoholic. I'm angry at myself because i never saw it coming. We used to socially drink together but she was always more keen than me. This has come like a freight train. Thinking back, th... View more

I'm heartbroken. My beautiful wife who i love very much is an alcoholic. I'm angry at myself because i never saw it coming. We used to socially drink together but she was always more keen than me. This has come like a freight train. Thinking back, there was a change in her behaviour towards me. She appeared emotionally disconnected. We've always been so close but lately she's been distant. I noticed 3 evenings running she would come back from work drunk. I thought she was drinking at home but there were no bottles. I secretly took her office keys and and my world fell apart when i found a 4 tier filing cabinet full of empty wine bottles, cans, beer bottle and a stash of new bottles. I just sat in her office and cried. I worked out she was finishing work at about 3.30 and drinking until about 430 The next day i deliberately paid her an impromptu visit at work during these times. She acted pleased to see me but was clearly rattled. She tried to hide the pint of wine on her desk by leaning to one side hoping i wouldn't see it. I don't know why i needed anymore validation. Tonight she came back from the pub with a friend and she could barely walk. She tried to pick something off the floor and went headfirst into the wall. She was angry with me when i tried to help. She went to bed but when i checked on her she had a bottle of wine next to her bed. Anyway enough waffling from me, I'm just venting. I don't know how to handle it. I have been in touch with alanon and have been advised to simply love and support. I'm utterly broken. She's beautiful inside and out and a great mum to our 4 kids.

Helpful books and resources

replies: 103

Hi everyone Members often refer in their posts to books and other resources that have helped them. This thread is a place to list those books so all members can find them easily. The titles might include scholarly, mass market and self-help books, sp... View more

Hi everyone Members often refer in their posts to books and other resources that have helped them. This thread is a place to list those books so all members can find them easily. The titles might include scholarly, mass market and self-help books, specialist websites or blogs, podcasts, vodcasts or print or online journals or magazines. Please note BB has a list of websites and resources under Get Help, so maybe check there first for online resources. (Also note that we cannot include live links to online resources.) To make things easy to find, please put the category of the content first in bold, then the title of the book and then, if you want, a brief comment. Please note that anything listed here reflects the member's views only. Publications and other resources are not necessarily endorsed by beyondblue. Happy reading!

borders re opening making friends during restrictions

replies: 5

hi with the coronavirus restrictions am finding it hard to get together sort of because of that. what is a way to get together or make friends during the restrictions or both. when place you live at which youre happy doing at moment isnt big enough t... View more

hi with the coronavirus restrictions am finding it hard to get together sort of because of that. what is a way to get together or make friends during the restrictions or both. when place you live at which youre happy doing at moment isnt big enough to have self contained space what would you do until youre able to buy your own. sometimes just feel isolated and like its going to take a long time to go back to before Thanks

Grieving and alienated from family.

replies: 1

Hi there I am a 45 year old woman, married, we just moved to a new area for work. My husband's job is demanding and he is at work at the moment a lot. I don't really know anyone here yet and I have just had my dog put to sleep. (He was 13). I have de... View more

Hi there I am a 45 year old woman, married, we just moved to a new area for work. My husband's job is demanding and he is at work at the moment a lot. I don't really know anyone here yet and I have just had my dog put to sleep. (He was 13). I have developed a bad habit of having a few wines to take the edge off and this does not seem to be helping me at all. Just tired. Pre existing family issue is that I am alienated from my adult daughter after a nasty divorce 13 years ago, (been 4 years since we saw each other). She has a lot of resentment toward my new husband as we moved away for work. She is pregnant and not in the best position to be starting a family. I want to try and help, but I am just so low, I don't know how to reach out and fix things. Feeling a bit lost. Any advice would be good.

Work life balance

replies: 6

Hey guys, I am struggling to make a choice for a job change. Here are the options. All are retail. Working for big sports brand as a store manager, 55k per year in AUS dollars. Super paid and bonus paid separate, roster is a Tuesday to Saturday roste... View more

Hey guys, I am struggling to make a choice for a job change. Here are the options. All are retail. Working for big sports brand as a store manager, 55k per year in AUS dollars. Super paid and bonus paid separate, roster is a Tuesday to Saturday roster. Free parking, more responsibility. Second option, Assistant store manager at 55k per year again everything else is paid separate, Sunday to Friday roster with a day off during the week and Saturday off. I will have to pay for parking which will be $25 a week. little less responsibility than previous role. Option 3, 49-51k per year, Monday to Friday roster and also leave from 3-4pm in the afternoon. Weekends off. Parking is $50 a week. turns out to be the same if not less pay than what I am currently on. more life balance and less work stress as it is a stock role, so out the back and no customer interaction or big store decisions go to me. Current role, Assistant manger 45k per year, Bonus and super paid separate. I have quite a lot of responsibility so I would rather get paid more if I'm doing this much work. Free parking. I also study and go to the gym at the end of my work shifts. I am also renting and would love to make more income to help my partner out and so we can save for a house. I do also need some extra time for my self as I get burnt out easily with everything I do. plus I have ADHD which is a strug for those who know.. you know.. what would you choose. More money and same roster or less money and more work life balance.

OVER 30 AND MY LIFE GOALS ARE A SHAMBLES - DOES IT MATTER?

replies: 9

Hi everyone Through my daughter's friends I am hearing more about how unsettled they are with what they see as lack of progress in their lives. In their 30's - their career, marriage, house, kids etc have just not where they are 'meant to be'. Does i... View more

Hi everyone Through my daughter's friends I am hearing more about how unsettled they are with what they see as lack of progress in their lives. In their 30's - their career, marriage, house, kids etc have just not where they are 'meant to be'. Does it matter? I read recently about a successful person who, when reaching 30, had achieved debt, divorce and lack of direction. So she reacted by partying her life away for a few years, then on reaching 40, 'blew up' her life and started again. 20 years later, she has never been happier. Happy relationship, family, financial comfort, going places and in disbelief that it all happened! You see, society has this way of judging us by our milestones, all set into life stages. Job, marriage, baby, (big) house, flash car, overseas holidays and so on. But who gives a rats about those milestones - are they really weights around our necks? Some of us achieve them, others may take longer, others change them as they get older. Others don't have milestones at all. Who cares? Let's just call these guys 'Late Bloomers'. I was one of those and am amazed at how life changes and what you can effortlessly achieve once you get past the mid 30's. Perhaps we should say goodbye to milestones and run our own race. Do life at your own pace and believe the best in life is certainly yet to come! I would love to hear views of forum members who have yet to hit 30, and those who are well past it. Long live the prime of life and letting things happen when they are ready! All the best. The Bro

What career?

replies: 2

I just finished up with an appointment with a career advisor and even more confused now. Im a nurse and i work in aged care. I went into nursing because i wanted to be a midwife. I started midwifery last year and the demands of the course are extreme... View more

I just finished up with an appointment with a career advisor and even more confused now. Im a nurse and i work in aged care. I went into nursing because i wanted to be a midwife. I started midwifery last year and the demands of the course are extreme. You have placement, classes, continuity of care women to follow and more. They warned us its like having a full time job but i thought i have the determination to get it done. But trying to work while study and keep up with those study commitments, be a single mum, its impossible to do. And now im almost tempted to drop out. Another option is family/child community health. Its an extension of nursing, no shift work, still get to work with the women, babies, families which is similar to the midwifery. Ive done 2 placements in child/family health and loved it. Love it even more than the placements ive had in postnatal and birthing unit. Having that appointment with the careers advisor just left me questioning so much. Do i go into community? Do i keep going with midwifery? Do i find a different career completely? I did the job outlook quiz and its all mixed! 40% administration, 20% enterprise, 20% helping, 6% analytical, 6% creative. Plus doing the quiz and the results really depends on my mood. The results are never the same. I just dont know what i want to do as a career. I hooked on to being a midwife for 10 years because i loved being pregnant and guess i wanted to share that experience with other women by helping them? When i think of other careers i just think of the worst. That i wont be good at it, i wont enjoy it, ill mess up massively, ill make a fool of myself. I just want something ill enjoy that doesnt cause too much stress and has a decent pay. I love gaming but not like i could be a professional gamer. I love to dance and sing but way too old to do that now. Love learning piano but no way id ever get good enough at play it to make a career out of it. I love travelling but cant really do that as a single mum. I love photography but thats too expensive. Hate this!!

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A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members

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