Merry Christmas in 2020

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

I did try and do a search for Christmas 2020 on the forum and kept getting a message stating something like "Page not found" every time I tried to click on the word Christmas. Maybe the Grinch is trying to steal Christmas yet again!

If there is another thread about Christmas, can someone pleas let me know.

Not everyone celebrates Christmas, I understand that. This year it may be especially difficult as well due to Covid and so many other issues people have in life.

This year will be our first without my Dad. As I was decorating the tree I was thinking of Dad and the Christmas celebrations we had as children. Way back then we were able to go out in the scrub and cut down a native Christmas tree.

This year I have to work Christmas Day so I won't be able to attend Church, nor a Christmas Eve service as family are coming for dinner. I am very thankful that at present we are still able to plan for some of the family to be together. I have no idea how busy I will be Christmas Day at work. Hopefully people will be relaxed and happy!

Christmas can mean different things to everyone. It may mean nothing and that is okay too. If you'd like to share thoughts here about Christmas, the end of this year or any other celebration you have happening soon, please do so.

Today I am trying to boil a Christmas pudding! I have to ensure the saucepan has water for 3 hours! In the past I have neglected this step and ended up cooking the saucepan when it ran out of water and the pudding was a rock!

Wishing you all a great day no matter how you are spending it.

Peace to all, cheers from Dools

[golden82]

Thank you for the toast Moon :),

And I had no doubt you would reply - you are a person of integrity, among other qualities I admire. I am pleased you had some company today. Nearly over now thank goodness. I take your point re your friends 'getting' you. It is good you have some tribe friends like that. I would like that in my life (need that in my life). I had not a single call or anything - mind you that is what it is like for me daily...just highlighted on Xmas day.

It is pretty horrible to not matter to anyone. But I knew that anyway. And I take your point and others re the commercialism. It seems people are more interested in material stuff and stuffing their faces and bellies and then re-setting to get more stuff in Boxing Day sales - all about me me me. Rather than being kind and noticing another's wellbeing (or lack thereof) and doing something nice - a phone call, a cup of tea. Nothing huge. But not in my world does this happen. I am thankful for these forums to read of others kindness who think more like you and me.

I hope you have a good night Moon - xo

[ecomama]

Hey everyone!

Our family had a wonderful Christmas today and I'm so grateful for this.

My children came home and we were free to be happy together at Christmas for the very first time.

Most of the past 3 decades my children and I have been exposed to so much DV / FV by various "family" (myself around 6 decades). Around 7y ago I said NO MORE.
Needless to say I spent many years in many Courts attempting to protect my children and I by removing these ppl from our lives.

I've been successful in doing this for the most part. They still attempt to harass us but that's their issue.

I think that it is always possible to try and CHANGE things, take responsibility, say "never again".

I think that one way we can change the tone of an unhappy Christmas is to try and discover the capacity to find out WHAT is happening in your community and engage. Offer your services even as I've done on many Christmases at the Soup Kitchen nearby.

My family did have the sparkly, shiny Christmas Day filled with love, fun and sharing that I thought was possible. FINALLY we had this time together on Christmas Day. We were all so grateful and very very happy together.

I Pray this continues but there are no guarantees in life, as we all know.

I know this was only possible today because of the service we've given to each other throughout the year. The sacrifices we've made. The hardships we've overcome to see the importance of each of us. Sharing love and appreciation for each other.

If you were sad today because you felt lonely or alone, it's important to reach out to others all year. Engage with others, connect. Acknowledge special times in their lives also. It takes alot of effort and we get knocked back but the successful, worthwhile relationships are worth nurturing.

Indeed not all good relationships are with family, sometimes not any.

 I hope you can make positive changes in the coming year.

Each and every one of you is valued and important. I Pray you see your own importance and make any changes necessary to bring more happiness into your life at Christmas and all year.

With love and compassion
EM
PS: Emo I'm so glad you're safe today.

[Elizabeth CP]

I spent today with my brother and his familyas my children spent the day with inlaws. We met up yesterday for lunch instead. My brother told me how his grandaughter who now lives interstate so hasn't seen him for months rushed up to hug him and spend time with him. He commented how it felt healing feeling loved and connected. I'm sharing this because it shows what is really important. The fancy food presents and decorations are nice but conectiion with people who care is far more important. Let us all reach oout to all who are lonely or discouraged to help us and them.

[Matchy69]

Hi all I survived that day yesterday and tomorrow came like it always does.I had a toast at 2pm and text my brother and he actually text back this time and said he was going to come up in a few days which will be good for my son who has been asking to see his cousin.

Take care,

Mark.

[Doolhof]

Hello Panther and Everyone,

Panther welcome to the community here. I have just read your lovely message and all the others that have been written here.

Christmas is certainly a day of contrasts for many people.

I went in to work and the first 3 people I encountered were extremely rude, one almost aggressive! I wanted to just walk out the door and go home! Thankfully everyone else I encountered were pleasant, some were bursting with Christmas Cheer which I greatly appreciated. It was really busy at work!

One of the other staff came and had lunch with me so I was not sitting alone which I also greatly appreciated and I told her so. The Christmas Day lunch was delicious and I didn't have to do the dishes!

Home for a few minutes and then off to be with family. Home exhausted and into bed. Back to work again today and tomorrow.

I'm going to try to remember the happy moments and find many things to be thankful for from these last few days.

It is wonderful how people have supported each other here.

Cheers to you all from Dools

[Doolhof]

Hi Emo,

I am so very sorry to read you are in hospital and the reason for your admission. Has anyone come in to visit?

Do you have somewhere safe to go when you are discharged from hospital? You don't have to answer that question, I just hope you will be okay.

I don't know what to say here Emo. I just want to let you know I am thinking of yo and do so hope you will be safe. Huge virtual hugs to you from Dools

[PhoebeWings]

Hi Moonstruck,

I smiled when I read your posts re Xmas.
Of course, as we know, it isn’t the real day of Jesus’s birth... but the date of an old pagan festival...and that’s where all the traditions come from.
Right down to the riot of gift giving.

I’m someone who has no immediate family, no parents or siblings...my only child was forcibly adopted when I was just 14 years... and was taken to his new adoptive home just days before Xmas...back in the bad old days of the early 70s when this was how it rolled for teenage Mothers.

Christmas kills me. This year we ended up entirely on our own...in the past we’ve had holidays away with close friends, but my dear friend died from cancer a couple of years ago...she was like a sister to me...so that doesn’t happen anymore.

And as you said, for many Xmas is like a hard, hard rub of salt in our wounds..for those who ache for our very own family.

I’ve been fortunate in the past...there was always someone and somewhere who we’d spend the holiday with..so there was a distraction.. this year, not so. It still was painful, some years really I’ve struggled under a massive internal twist of sheer emotional pain.

It is all madness when you step back and look at it.

I really feel for others who find Xmas and the whole ‘family’ thing painful too, as perhaps they don’t have ‘close family’ to hug, share and love.

Dont think I’m being mean or just ‘humbug’ - I don’t begrudge others having these family traditions...but for folk like me, it is like a knife.

So if anyone is struggling over this hyped up season, a genuine hug from me. It’ll soon be over. 🙂

[PhoebeWings]

I should add, that I found my son and we’re in a close relationship, but he lives on the other side of the world.

I’m so, so grateful he has a little family of his own, a loyal and loving wife and the wonderful kids who are my treasured grand children.
I have much to be thankful for, but loss, grief and pain of losing my own baby for all those years, seems to dwell in my very cells. And like a lurking virus, it often flares up badly - and Xmas is one of those seasons.

I’m grateful that he will never be alone and has the unconditional love of his own 💕

[Emo]

Hi Ecomama,

Thank you for the concern you are showing towards me. I don't deserve it but its so very welcome as its the type of thing a mother would say. A mother who only wants the best for their child. I wish I had a mother like you.

You are a role model for me. I think if you can be so brave and go on to lead the amazing life you lead there could be hope for me yet.

I would like to wish you and your family the best of everything life has to offer. I will continue to admire your life through your posts. Thank you for being you.

Regards,

Emo.

[Emo]

Hi Dools,

You are such a kind person for reaching out to me. I truly appreciate the virtual hugs. Its been so long since I've been held in a safe embrace that I wouldn't know how to do it anymore. My dad was a very kind man but we weren't into hugging each other.

Just the thought of someone caring about me has gotten me through this very hard Christmas period without my dad. Showing that you care for someone really can make all the difference doing times when others might be happy but you're miserable.

Thank you for your support of not just me but other people as well. I know this type of support has saved my life.

Regards,

Emo.