Merry Christmas in 2020

[Doolhof]

Hi Everyone,

I did try and do a search for Christmas 2020 on the forum and kept getting a message stating something like "Page not found" every time I tried to click on the word Christmas. Maybe the Grinch is trying to steal Christmas yet again!

If there is another thread about Christmas, can someone pleas let me know.

Not everyone celebrates Christmas, I understand that. This year it may be especially difficult as well due to Covid and so many other issues people have in life.

This year will be our first without my Dad. As I was decorating the tree I was thinking of Dad and the Christmas celebrations we had as children. Way back then we were able to go out in the scrub and cut down a native Christmas tree.

This year I have to work Christmas Day so I won't be able to attend Church, nor a Christmas Eve service as family are coming for dinner. I am very thankful that at present we are still able to plan for some of the family to be together. I have no idea how busy I will be Christmas Day at work. Hopefully people will be relaxed and happy!

Christmas can mean different things to everyone. It may mean nothing and that is okay too. If you'd like to share thoughts here about Christmas, the end of this year or any other celebration you have happening soon, please do so.

Today I am trying to boil a Christmas pudding! I have to ensure the saucepan has water for 3 hours! In the past I have neglected this step and ended up cooking the saucepan when it ran out of water and the pudding was a rock!

Wishing you all a great day no matter how you are spending it.

Peace to all, cheers from Dools

[ecomama]

Hey Panther, what a kind message.

Welcome to the forums!
I hope you enjoy the support and kindness offered in this safe space.

You're very welcome to have a peek in the BB Cafe as that thread could be quite active today!
It's been busy already today!

It's sweet you're having family over today. I hope you enjoy that time with them.

Take care and Merry Christmas to you too!
Love EM

[geoff]

May All of you Have a Merry Christmas, stay safe and keep well.

My kindest.

Geoff.

[Moonstruck]

Merry Christmas to you too Geoff....you sweet old Xmas elf you!.....I'll be fine...Call The Midwife is on tonight and even though I've already seen Love Actually twice on different channels this year...I have my own copy so may even put that on too later!.......

My neighbours in next door unit have all gone away and I can have music and TV up as loud as I want!! Yay!!

and I am being fed at lunchtime so hopefully will survive yet another year of "Christmas" whatever that is!

keep smiling everyone..... (not long to go now Moonstruck...tomorrow it'll all be over...thank God) heheheh)

[golden82]

Dear Moon and everyone,

Thank you for your support of me and everyone else struggling on Xmas day. Yes, I am alone in my flat this year again. I know people/support lines encourage to go outside to a park or something .. but reality is this stings on a day like today. To see others, happy faces and laughter and cheer - only rubs in and reinforces what you miss in your life. Also the ideas of doing something nice of self care for yourself. I had planned to.. but again reality hits and depression overwhelms. So I guess the best I can do today is stay in bed and slowly watch the clock.

The impending doom of Xmas day creeps in more in the days leading up to it for me. I have done my best - trying to think of it as just another day; which I guess it is, but it doesn't make it any easier. I had a full blown breakdown last night (tears that just wouldn't stop coming). This was walking to the shops for some groceries - then at the shops only got worse - thought I was going to collapse. But goes to show, no matter how hard you try to avoid thinking of your sadness, and try thinking of it as another day, and try do something nice (for me that was a little walk there and buying some fresh fruit) - you cannot escape the pain.

I hope you are coping okay today Moon - I have been following about your loss earlier this year - so I hope today is not too painful for you. It sounds like you have a pretty set day ahead which is great.

I avoid all reminders of the day - so no Xmas shows for me!! Safer to stay in bed. Even hearing all the flat doors of people coming and going and then the cars up and down the driveway - is upsetting for me. It is a cold world. I live in a flat - wall to wall with others - been here for 8 years. Never once do people ask/offer any form of connection. And wall to wall. But is very apart with all of them having family or friends and not considering the woman with no-one. They all know I have no-one. But I guess it doesn't concern them. Until you know what it is like - I guess you just don't care. At least there is BB forum with people who care 🙂

I had one 'friend' who tried to say she knew what it was like for me to be all alone on Xmas day - because she spent one year without the kids - just her and hubby on holiday. Ah, no, am I missing something? That is not the same as 8 years alone in your flat because abusive family, and no family of your own. She is actually kind and I think meant well

I hope everyone gets through today alright. Take care.

[quirkywords]

Golden82 and everyone

I am sorry for you and everyone struggling today.
People say they understand and they don’t but you know they mean well.

It is hard when you see and hear others enjoying yourself.

I will think of you and all the others struggling today.

[Pppanther]

Hey Golden

I am sorry that you are struggling today. No it is not "just another day" it is Christmas day. It saddened me to know you are in bed. Please don't dwell on the problem Is there anything on tv that will get your mind off things. Even if you're not a Christian sometimes hymn singing etc on Christmas day can be quite soothing ? Have you had a shower and put on some fresh clothes and make up to try and feel better. I'm really happy that you are communicating on this forum at least, hang in there and chat with some others on different forums There are many great posters here that I enjoy reading, I hope they uplift you too.

Also don't forget that some of these "happy families" that you hear have their own skeletons in the closet. Alcoholism domestic violence and abuse don't take Christmas Day off. There are a lot of people who will not be enjoying today ?

Anyway hang in there please golden82, I hope you cheer up as the day goes on and just think, only one more sleep and it's all over for another year

[ecomama]

Hey golden82

Big hugs.

Emxxxx

[Emo]

Hi Everyone,

I hope everyone who enjoys Christmas has a great day For others who are struggling through the day like myself, I would like to wish them a pain free day if that's possible. My thoughts are with you all.

I'm currently in hospital due to an episode of abuse so I'm not feeling the best. It is the worst Christmas I've ever had. I used to be relatively safe on Christmas day but this year it has been a very hard day.

I've been on my own all day. I've only seen one nurse, on one hand it's good as the staff must be with their families but on the other hand it makes for a lonely day with nothing but your memories of a painful past.

But enough about me and my problems. I just wanted to reach out to everyone who has supported me during my trying times and give some of that love, care and compassion back.

Please take care of yourselves as you are all very special people.

Kind regards,

Emo.

[golden82]

Thanks Quirky, Panther, EM, everyone for your kind words.

It's a rough day - not even having anyone reach out/ wish well/ no cards, phone calls - nothing... I mean I know I shouldn't expect it to be any different. Goes to reinforce the people 'in my life' are selfish and toxic. So long as they are happy all is fine. I guess the positive I can take from this is boundaries. ie they are only about when they want something. So boundaries are needed from my end. No contact. And hopefully learn to spot narcs sooner.

I chose to rest in bed - to protect myself from all the Xmas world outside. Even have to turn the radio off because playing Xmas tunes triggering me. You just can't escape it omg. I phoned a helpline actually and the girl was wonderful. Wow I am so grateful that there are people that give that support on Xmas day. I encourage anyone - even if just feeling lonely to give them a call.

I hope you are okay there in hospital emo? That sounds horrible. I have been more times than I can count in the last 6 years. Including twice on NYE emergency and ended up for weeks on end. It is horrible, scary and lonely. At least you can read/write on here - and maybe try a call if you need to have a convo with someone.

[Moonstruck]

Dear golden82

well I promised to write back if you posted here...so here I am, for what it is worth. Yes I got thru OK as it was fairly planned with a couple of relatives who also had no one else...we ate and it was pleasant and I hope the other two were relieved a bit of their loneliness at this time.

funny isn't it, but I actually had a much better and uplifting time the night before when I was with my tribe (friends) doing an activity we all enjoy...sometimes just because you are related, does not mean you speak the same language. My friends understand me much more than my family...this happens a lot I think.

It was a nice enough day and they are good people....I wouldn't call it "celebrating" though...I would call it "survival mode" or rescuing each other from what would otherwise be a day spent alone.

I am so sorry you had a bad day. You are not alone in feeling the immense pressure that is put on us just because the calendar says so.....TV is the worst, absolute worst, the presenters are unbearable, but please realise that most of the time they are "acting" and probably complaining that they have to smile and say all that crap just because it's their job.

If they said what they really thought, I think viewers would be surprised, some horrified, at shattering their illusions about this "sparkling shiny family day filled with love love love". oh puh..leeese!!

.I hope just knowing you are not the only one with these difficult thoughts and memories about Christmas Day gives you just a glimmer of relief. Let's raise a glass to golden82.....in fact I will do that now.....here's to you golden82......I get you.