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Sophie_M Money stress? You are not alone!
  • replies: 4

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we al... View more

So, I’ve been chatting with my friends over here at Beyond Blue and it seems we all have something in common right now: money worries. Whether it’s stressors about finding enough cash for the basics or wishing we had enough money for a holiday, we all seem to be experiencing a greater amount of stress surrounding money than we have in the past. And it’s impacting our ability to show up fully for the things we love. It’s not uncommon for us to experience shame and fear around expressing our financial challenges; it can be hard and somewhat taboo to openly discuss money matters. However, we believe this conversation is incredibly important and beneficial to have. Like all challenges, ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, so let’s help each other out. Of course, discussions about the economy and how to manage our money during inflation are a much larger (and frustrating!) conversation… but what we would really love to know is what your personal experience around money is. Are you feeling the pinch too? How is added financial pressure impacting your wellbeing? When was the last time things felt even slightly easier? And if you have struggled with money in the past but come out the other side, what suggestions do you have for others who might still be finding their feet? This is an opportunity to share openly and honestly about your experience in a judgement-free space. There are no wrong answers, and we encourage you to share all the things that you might be finding hard to express in your every day life. Looking forward to your answers! Abundant hugs from yours truly, Sophie M.

Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight Changing your nature
  • replies: 3

I've met many people in my life that have such low self esteem that they are very unhappy with themselves. These people usually attend professional medical staff for long periods and seem to search for what is not locatable- peace and confidence. Oft... View more

I've met many people in my life that have such low self esteem that they are very unhappy with themselves. These people usually attend professional medical staff for long periods and seem to search for what is not locatable- peace and confidence. Often the core of their issue is they dont like themselves. In one of my threads "the frog and the scorpion" the frog ends up trusting the scorpion after many pleas of reassurance. The frog carries the scorpion on his back to the other side of the river where, before they reach their destination the scorpion stings the frog and both die. Just beforehand the frog yells out "but I trusted you, why did you stings me"? to which the scorpion replies "because its in my nature". That story was made famous in the mini series "The Bangkok Hilton" starring Nicole Kidman. And so the theme is- that a scorpion will always be a scorpion, a frog will always be a frog and you will always be you. There is a certain amount of change you can implement to improve yourself in life like career change, not making the same mistake twice especially - relationships. We can save money and improve our environment and we can introduce more empathy. All these changes are significant without being radical because our nature cannot be changed to a radical amount. If you carry out changes like the above and want more then I suggest you look towards accepting yourself more rather than more and more change. Make a list- left side what you dont like about yourself that you'd like to change and the right side what you plan to do to make such changes. If something arises that you cannot change like your height (short or high stature) or weight (over or under weight) then make another list. On top write in bold letter (eg over weight) I WILL NEVER BE SLIM BUT I CAN LOSE SOME WEIGHT- NO EXPECTATIONS JUST A DESIRE. Then plan your journey to lose some weight. Short, medium and long plan goals that are realistic and achievable. It saddens me to watch my teenage relatives in amazement at adoring models and movie stars with the perfect look and figure. Those gifted people have the genes for such body shapes that average people will never have. Its a battle for an uncle to sway them away from them yarning for that figure or fame. Our nature is basically fixed. We can waste so much time, precious time, trying to change what we cannot change. Rather, learn to embrace yourself because there is only one of you and it is truly wonderful. TonyWK

Sadmum96 Tips on getting out of the house when seriously depressed
  • replies: 2

I've noticed that when I'm depressed, which is often, i don't want to do anything. When people ask me to do anything, it makes it worse somehow, often pushing me into suicidal ideation. How do i overcome this? I want to be more active with my 6 year ... View more

I've noticed that when I'm depressed, which is often, i don't want to do anything. When people ask me to do anything, it makes it worse somehow, often pushing me into suicidal ideation. How do i overcome this? I want to be more active with my 6 year old but i just don't want to do anything

PurpleElephant Looking for advice for severe insomnia
  • replies: 2

I am in desperate need of support with my insomnia. I follow sleep hygiene practices, do mindfulness and meditation. My psychologist has said my insomnia is too severe and she cant help me so has given me a name of someone with more experience (I'm w... View more

I am in desperate need of support with my insomnia. I follow sleep hygiene practices, do mindfulness and meditation. My psychologist has said my insomnia is too severe and she cant help me so has given me a name of someone with more experience (I'm waiting on them to get back to me). My GP also cant help, and my psychiatrist is struggling to find medications that can help me in the short term. I also prefer to be off medication, I want to conquer my insomnia but don't know what else is left to do. My severe insomnia restarted a couple of weeks ago when i completely stopped a medication i was on due to how it was affecting me physically. I was dependant on it to make me sleep for 9 years. None of us know what's causing my insomnia. We know why it started many years ago but don't know why its continuing because i no longer have those issues. It isn't due to anxiety, stress or overthinking and I've been to a sleep clinic where they found nothing wrong physically. It seems no health professional can help me so far. I guess I'm just hoping to find someone that's been in a similar boat to me. Unsure of what's causing the insomnia and nothing works to help you sleep. Most nights I have 0 sleep. If I'm lucky I may get 2 hours on a sleep medication. Because of no sleep I'm having migraines and its making me emotional.

AlwaysForgotten The worst kind of isolation
  • replies: 21

I feel like I am going crazy.... My wife is currently living separately from me due to her issues, my parents have both passed in the last 12 years, I was adopted and the rest of my family basically abandoned me when my mother passed, my wife and I m... View more

I feel like I am going crazy.... My wife is currently living separately from me due to her issues, my parents have both passed in the last 12 years, I was adopted and the rest of my family basically abandoned me when my mother passed, my wife and I moved state 5 years ago (she has kids, but I dont have any) & due to her own issues we never got a chance to create a new social circle here... And so now with this self isolation I am literally on my own all day every day. I get to talk to work acquaintances (I am working from home), but other than that I have absolutely no human contact at all. We are supposed to be trying to get to a point where we can live together again, and generally text each other most days. Our couples counselor got her to agree to a video catch up which we had a few days ago, but she just completely ignored me yesterday (seems to be a habit of every saturday which I dont know why). Then I get some lame excuse on Sunday, today's one being "it was a sleepy day", as to why she couldn't even spare 30 seconds just to respond to my good morning text. But even worse still, if I tell her it upsets me then all I get is "whatever", if I dont tell her than its my fault that I bottle it up... so either way... its always my fault. I just cant get through to her that this isolation is affecting me worse than it is most people. She has others around her, she has a brother and sister she can call, parents to talk to, she made sure she made her own friends while she hasn't been home. I dont need the "take a walk, get a dog, find a hobby, do some exercise, find a chat room" kind of response, I know all of that already. I wonder to myself if I just need to vent, or if it is the whole "misery loves company" kind of thing... maybe more than anything else what I need (and what others may need) is just to say how much this isolation thing sucks

white knight Dec 3, international day for people with a disability
  • replies: 1

A remarkable account by a journalist with a disability. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-11-30/abc-reporter-nas-campanella-stranger-says-life-not-worth-living/12920246?utm_medium=content_shared&utm_source=abc_news_amp&utm_campaign=abc_news_amp&utm_co... View more

A remarkable account by a journalist with a disability. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-11-30/abc-reporter-nas-campanella-stranger-says-life-not-worth-living/12920246?utm_medium=content_shared&utm_source=abc_news_amp&utm_campaign=abc_news_amp&utm_content=mail

TishaJade Staying Positive
  • replies: 2

Roughly six months ago I came to Beyond Blue for some support through a complicated time whilst I was in a relationship. I was not in a good place back then and came to realize I was not going to be happy with my ex no matter how hard I tried. I have... View more

Roughly six months ago I came to Beyond Blue for some support through a complicated time whilst I was in a relationship. I was not in a good place back then and came to realize I was not going to be happy with my ex no matter how hard I tried. I have been much happier since, and am glad we have parted ways despite still missing him and thinking of him often. Although I feel a lot better than I did back then, I have had six months from hell and I have reached the point where I am started to get exhausted from being knocked down physically and emotionally. Recap of my last six months: My ex left me after a year and a half together, and two weeks later my parents up and moved interstate. I was also unemployed as I lost my job due to Covid19. I found little support through the grieving process as my brother lives several hours away and works interstate for weeks on end. My friends were not supportive (not deliberate) and most of my extended family members are hard to get close to due to complicated matters. My luck changed when I got a full-time job. I even started doing equestrian sports again and bought my own horse. In late September I had a car accident due to stress at work, having a lot of responsibility with little training, and putting 110% into my job. I was disappointed to know my car was a wreck and I was reimbursed for what It was worth. Through this time I was also finishing late at work, and having to find a way to the laundromat to do my washing because my washing machine broke, and I had no car. My best friend of 12 years promised to drop everything and help me by driving me to a car dealer to buy a car so that I could get to work. She never showed up. I walked to several car yards in 30-degree heat and bought the first car I could afford. I called and left messages and she only replied at 4pm that day informing me she was ill and had only just seen my messages. I voiced my frustration but told her I still loved her and she never spoke to me since, ignores me on social media, and won't contact me. I don't know why. To top it off, I got let go of my job two weeks ago and was told I was not performing to the standard they wanted which was just simply not true. I was devastated and left stranded once again with no parents and this time no best friend. My birthday is next weekend and Christmas is around the corner and I see no point celebrating with no family around me. And with my defeated mindset. I am just drained from trying to stay positive.

white knight Balancing act with mental disorders
  • replies: 3

I've been interested in cars all my life. If you buy a standard car and as a younger person you want to modify it to perform "better", you can- stiffen the suspension...that will give you a harsher ride, a louder exhaust will give you a little more p... View more

I've been interested in cars all my life. If you buy a standard car and as a younger person you want to modify it to perform "better", you can- stiffen the suspension...that will give you a harsher ride, a louder exhaust will give you a little more power with the tradeoff of a headache, bigger wheels and tyres that will make your speedo go out of whack...and so on. There is always a tradeoff with modifications. Mental illness, the treatment of it is not any different. At the height of my emotional roller coaster mid 20's I headed for the hills. Fed up with battling society, people, abuse, violence etc. That kneejerk action came with ramifications. Was I going to survive living in a tent? how long for? when I run out of money I wont be able to purchase bare essentials like toothpaste, soap, food!! After 3 visits to the bush, all failed in their plan, I realised I needed to review my life. What is the balance? I knew I needed society. Perhaps the balance is being on the fringe of it? Could I suck out of society my basic needs then give back when I had the capability (like now as a champion here)? The fact is that every challenge put up to me by my illnesses there was a balance I could find that allowed me to survive happily. Like- Employment- Unhappy with working for a boss I developed a goal of working for myself. A long time goal once achieved I survived to 57yo as my own boss until I could no longer work anymore...an extra 18 years Clubs- Any organisation can be a threat with personalities and intolerance. I made rules, not volunteer for any committees, dont buy the town newspaper or get involved with politics. Acquaintances- If a neighbour I dont get along with passes by, I be cordial but limit any conversation to a maximum of 1-2 minutes even less. For me living in a country town about 4000 people is the balance. Enough people so it provides hospital, supermarket etc, not enough people to be impersonal. Medical attention- There's a balance between getting the best help you need and living life. This is a tough one to mention as we are all different but in my case I decided there is some areas of my health I would accept totally and stop worrying about it. Blood tests for thinners/diabetes, chiro care for neck issues and so forth. The key here is the word "worry", I have enough of that with my mental challenges. You get the idea- balancing your life with these major things can result in some happiness. Prioritize for YOU. What do you think? TonyWK

Soberlicious96 A full life and a thankful heart
  • replies: 3

HI everyone! I haven't been on here for AGES and I feel a little guilty, to be honest. But now that I am working full time, life just seems to be SO BUSY! Mainly, I just wanted to pop in to say g'day and let you all know that you are never very far f... View more

HI everyone! I haven't been on here for AGES and I feel a little guilty, to be honest. But now that I am working full time, life just seems to be SO BUSY! Mainly, I just wanted to pop in to say g'day and let you all know that you are never very far from my thoughts and prayers. I have worked all the way through Covid, and am really very blessed with the life that I have. I have been running some online recovery meetings also, but now that they are back face to face (I'm in NSW) then I am getting back to those, and doing less online meetings. I know that online recovery stuff is great for some, and I must say that this particular forum and format has been great for me when I nave needed it .... but I have NOT enjoyed being on video with Zoom! That is NOT my thing! Anyway, that's all I wanted to say really; just a little 'check-in' to let you know I'm still here. Take care y'all. Hugs. xo

CrazyQlder Looking for a bit of advice
  • replies: 1

Hiya people, hoping that you're all well and not being too muchly affected by lockdowns etc. Kinda new here, but anyway, looking for a lil advice. Past 5 years or so, I've been a live in carer for a paraplegic, which, at times has been difficult due ... View more

Hiya people, hoping that you're all well and not being too muchly affected by lockdowns etc. Kinda new here, but anyway, looking for a lil advice. Past 5 years or so, I've been a live in carer for a paraplegic, which, at times has been difficult due to personality clashes between us. Anyway, due to her condition, she is somewhat more susceptible to Covid-19. Understandably, she has a bit more fear of it. So, for the first part of the year (I'm in QLD remember), I halted my usual mental stress relief habit of going camping with a small FB group of friends (not that we could do such things anyway in the early days cos lockdowns). Anyway, now that things have opened up a *lot* here in QLD, we've started to organize events again. Problem is, I'm being continually told "If you go out with the camp people, even for a day, even if you wear masks, you are not allowed to enter the house for another 14 days. You cannot come home at all in that time". In essence I'm not being told that I can't go, but I'm being strongly discouraged from going, and also being told "You're not thinking of me, or the other carers with doing this stuff". I try to point out that QLD has had zero community transmission now for a month or 2, and I'm told "do you really believe it's not in QLD at all?" Anyone got any suggestions on how I could tactfully proceed? I do kinda need my breaks to get away and recentre myself (camping/4wd trips are great for that). I just can't work out if I'm being unreasonable with suggesting now, with the stage we're at in QLD, that I could go away for a trip or 2 again.

bigstar Random post but I thought it may be helpful too.
  • replies: 3

Hey so I've had MDD for a while and treatment with medication has seemed to bring me back to normal for years, and I've enjoyed a few years of relative stability and a functional life of sorts. But recently I relapsed into a very very nasty chemical ... View more

Hey so I've had MDD for a while and treatment with medication has seemed to bring me back to normal for years, and I've enjoyed a few years of relative stability and a functional life of sorts. But recently I relapsed into a very very nasty chemical storm, and it lasted for weeks, with the use of benzos and excersize and just taking care of myself, and an up in my dosage I was able to endure it but symptoms still got worse. I've had these nasty relapses before, last time was a few years ago when I was travelling Europe. And I found out a possible cause as to why, and the reason might seem obvious or dumb but I feel like I should just post this in the hope that it might stop someone else from going from the unneccassary anguish and illness that is depression. I've been leaving my medication in the car. It's been getting hotter in Melbourne. And the temperatures, as we all know, in the car, can soar well above atmospheric temperature. And we only discovered this earlier in the week (me and my GP) after some interrogation, and then reading on the side of the medication box that stipulates this pills should be stored at 25 degrees or under--that me leaving prescription medication for months on end in a hot car is not a smart idea. Well, to cut a long story short, after throwing out those medications and getting a new prescription, its taken me 3 days to get to feeling someone what normal again, and as I go through my memory and try to remember every relapse I had, it seems as though I wasnt storing my medication appropriately and leaving them in the car as a trigger. One time I had an awful relapse in Europe, and I left my medication in my luggage and my doctor let me know that is definitely not a good idea as luggage cabin experiences different presurrization and temperatures as the normal cabin would. Last few weeks have been hell and whatever. Anyways, just thought I'd let people know to be a bit more conscientious with their meds and not be idiots like I was. They are not invulnerable, and they need to be stored correctly--this may be common knowledge. Sorry if its patronizing or just plain obvious.