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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

All discussions

contrarymary Getting a good nights sleep
  • replies: 4

What do other members do when the rest of the household is asleep and they are wide awake. I go to bed same time most nights fall asleep quite easily but wake up about an hour later thinking I have been asleep for hours and then can't get back to sle... View more

What do other members do when the rest of the household is asleep and they are wide awake. I go to bed same time most nights fall asleep quite easily but wake up about an hour later thinking I have been asleep for hours and then can't get back to sleep, have tried getting up and making tea or reading. usually I end up lying awake for hours clock watching and then fall asleep again. i am a type 2 diabetic and 65 spoke to GP says it's because I am getting older so need less sleep but it's now impacting on my life. have tried going to bed later did not make much difference and because I lie awake I get agitated because I can't sleep anyone with similar issue and what have they found helps

white knight Switching mindsets
  • replies: 42

We read so many examples in these pages about lack of motivation. Depression, stress, worthlessness and so on, all reasons that we feel lethargic, in a rut, motionless. I dont know where this came from, my technique of "reverse switching" as I call i... View more

We read so many examples in these pages about lack of motivation. Depression, stress, worthlessness and so on, all reasons that we feel lethargic, in a rut, motionless. I dont know where this came from, my technique of "reverse switching" as I call it, but I guess its my drive for the end result. Example. I've purchased paint and brushes to paint our house. I'm watching TV. its ideal weather but I cant be bothered starting the paint project. As soon as I say to myself "I cant be bothered painting today"...I immediately do the opposite!! I rise off the chair and withing 4-5 minutes I have paint on a wall. Once that occurs, I feel better than sitting on the chair so the mental effort of doing something I dont want to do only lasts 4 minutes. The enjoyment is direct progress (paint on the wall) followed by a great feeling a wall is completed. However if I drove myself to paint one coat on the whole house with a second coat needed, it would be too long before I'd feel any sense of achievement. Hence two coats on one wall first. Stand back and admire. By the time one coat on one wall is finished a second coat can be applied. You can see why mentally it becomes a snowball effect. Once finished I pack the paint away. Then a while later I noticed a small wooden fence hasnt been painted..."oh, I forgot that...I'll do it another time"...bang! Its a negative thought, I'll do it now! The switch effect is used automatically again. Simply not allowing my own mindset of the "easy road" to take hold. Professional athletes do this. A swimmer swims 100 laps of a pool, as he/she is on that last lap, switch effect means "I'll do an extra 10 laps now". There is one proviso, one potential problem, those extra baby steps can over extend you, cause more tiredness and be counter productive. Take breaks. On building sites for example you'll never have tradespersons work all day without breaks. The reason is they would work less effectively with less quantity and quality of work at the end of the day. So try the switch effect, a total u-turn with tasks. Take rest periods always aware of using the switch effect regularly. The "switch effect"isnt easy, its a learned thing...a thing that shines with habit. So expect yourself to be challenged...by yourself!. But it can be an great addition to the positive snowball you'll develop that can change your life around. Let me know if you do this already or if you have tried it. Tony WK

Not_Batman Guilt for being strong.
  • replies: 2

Just after some advice. ive spent the last couple of days feeling overcome with guilt. Backstory: My boss sort of belittled me in front of 6 other managers, saying that my project was Full of mistakes. However they only had 1 side of the story and no... View more

Just after some advice. ive spent the last couple of days feeling overcome with guilt. Backstory: My boss sort of belittled me in front of 6 other managers, saying that my project was Full of mistakes. However they only had 1 side of the story and none of the facts. when this happened, i became quite angered because it made me feel a little worthless. however, in the heat of the moment i did something i dont normally do...i stood up for myself, very vocally, giving all of the facts and the full story. after the event, and even a couple of days later im still obsessing over it, and feeling guilty for doing the right thing. for the most part i am coping with my anxiety and depression, but am finding it difficult to stop the guilt for being strong. How do i come to terms with the guilt? Not Batman.

ReeCar123 Self-soothing techniques and getting more secure
  • replies: 2

Hello Everyone, I have found out a while ago that I have an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. So basically, I used to have quite intense signs of anxiety in my relationship, especially since my ex-partner was avoidant, so my extreme opposite. We ... View more

Hello Everyone, I have found out a while ago that I have an anxious-preoccupied attachment style. So basically, I used to have quite intense signs of anxiety in my relationship, especially since my ex-partner was avoidant, so my extreme opposite. We separated (still getting along very well and both working on our past wounds) and since then, I feel I have achieved quite a lot in getting more aware, secure and I am better able to self-soothe to get myself out of ruminating. However, I am aware that I still have work to do, especially to manifest any good techniques that soothe the anxiety and counteract the unhelpful patterns. I am very keen to continue my work to raise myself to a more secure level based on my awareness, knowledge and learned new techniques. So I am very interested in understanding what other techniques there are that have helped you. For example, I read books like "The Happiness Trap" which employs ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy). I like that and am trying to use the techniques from ACT. I have also built a stronger foundation for myself, so started new hobbies, applied for volunteering, etc. to build a good life for myself. All these things have helped me reach a new level and I have found myself speaking up for my own needs more - a thing I did not do well in the past due to fears of being rejected or abandoned. I can see the change and I really want to keep it going. What else can I try and become aware of so that I can become stronger and reduce the risk of losing myself again in the anxiety levels I used to have? I read my journals from a year ago when my relationship was extremely triggering. It was a huge eye opener and I never want to hand over so much control again. I want to stay on the good path now. Thank you in advance.

Doog The magic of reaching out
  • replies: 1

Hi, Ive posted only a few times in my troubled last 5 years. I found invisible friends in being able to talk on here briefly. I'm not a social person. I was resistant to counseling yet I spent wasted time sobbing relentlessly on my own and having pan... View more

Hi, Ive posted only a few times in my troubled last 5 years. I found invisible friends in being able to talk on here briefly. I'm not a social person. I was resistant to counseling yet I spent wasted time sobbing relentlessly on my own and having panic attacks. The magic as I call it, is in being able to vent to "invisible" people on this forum, but I knew I still needed help. Finding the right counselor is almost like finding the right friend. If you are like me and don't believe a counselor can help you, then please look again! You need to be able to "click" with that trusted person and suddenly you will find they "get YOU". The same thing happened to my adolescent son. He found someone at Headspace he finally opened up to! After 1 year. Please use the resources available to you in mental health. You can switch who you want to talk to. Like with GP's, some you love, some you don't. Dont compromise or delay your recovery because you don't feel comfortable like I did. I also found an incredible person at Primary Care Connect who guided me to where I am today. I was homeless when I had my first appointment. They helped me set goals. They ensure you have a trusted GP who is onboard. It was never how I imagined. Take a chance and discover what it feels like to be listened to please. For adolescents and adults alike, there is someone out there who "gets you". That feeling is also like magic, because you will find your way again. Thankyou Beyon Blue and everyone of my invisible friends

white knight Loneliness and being alone
  • replies: 1

I am fond of a Mr Bean skit. He attends a restaurant alone, then writes himself a birthday card and make believed he has company. Very funny, but sad. Loneliness is craving another’s company and I think most of us know that feeling. Being alone is no... View more

I am fond of a Mr Bean skit. He attends a restaurant alone, then writes himself a birthday card and make believed he has company. Very funny, but sad. Loneliness is craving another’s company and I think most of us know that feeling. Being alone is not the same. Some people prefer to be alone in fact some insist on it. In that case preferring to be alone is not an actual problem whereas being lonely is. In fact some poor souls are lonely even amongst a crowd. Lets look at the benefits of good company. Good company results in a flowing exchange of conversation which often leads to things like compliments, understanding and comfort. The mere sharing of events or feelings with people that are willing to listen is beneficial. Of course this social interaction comes with risk, rejection, criticism or mere harsh judgement not aired. We can easily slip back into a solitude lifestyle into a safety zone. Then loneliness begins. What is the answer to this dilemma? In my experience I would have to highlight a strong point here- that once rejected we are better off continuing to meet up with more people, the more we meet the more chance you’ll find compatibility and increase your chances of reliable company. For some, shutting yourself away seems like a “no one can hurt me now” policy without risk. But it can be destructive on your own mental well being. That isn’t caring for yourself in terms of well being. It isn’t healthy. Forcing yourself to socialise also isn’t ideal. Wearing a mask is tiresome. But bare minimal daily contact is really all you need for good health. I have the answer to all of this- buy a very cute little dog. The world will come to you. Strangers will flock around your dog and dog lovers are usually loving people. And you’ll also have a best friend and won’t be alone TonyWK

SapereAude Triple M's No Talk Day - Wednesday 1 July
  • replies: 2

Well done to Triple M and Beyond Blue on this fantastic initiative. I hope this benefits not just men but their families, friends and workplaces too. Triple M's No Talk Day On Wednesday 1 July, Triple M isn't talking so that others can. From 6am – 6p... View more

Well done to Triple M and Beyond Blue on this fantastic initiative. I hope this benefits not just men but their families, friends and workplaces too. Triple M's No Talk Day On Wednesday 1 July, Triple M isn't talking so that others can. From 6am – 6pm there will be no radio shows, no ads, no news or traffic reports across Triple M stations. Instead, they are using the space where they'd normally talk to encourage men and women to talk to their mates, family or a colleague about mental health and work on reducing men’s suicide. Blokes make up an average six out of every eight suicides every single day in Australia. The number of men who die by suicide in Australia every year is nearly double the national road toll. Men are known for bottling things up and trying to go it alone, however this can increase the risk of depression or anxiety going unrecognised and untreated. Depression is a high risk factor for suicide, and plays a contributing role to the big difference in suicide rates for men and women. While it can be difficult to talk about suicide, research shows you can have a positive influence on someone who may be considering suicide by initiating a conversation with them and supporting them to seek support. You don’t need to be a clinician, a GP, or a nurse to check-in with someone you are worried about. It is OK to let someone know you have noticed they are struggling and ask them if they are experiencing thoughts of suicide. Advice on how to start a conversation with someone you’re worried about and looking after yourself can be found in the below links. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/the-facts/suicide-prevention/no-talk-day

Nanabanana Thank you
  • replies: 3

I don't know if I'm posting the right forum but, Eight weeks ago, I was very stressed, depressed, and anxious then I stepped into this website and had talked to one of the staff. She gave me an empowering of willing to fight and keep going then after... View more

I don't know if I'm posting the right forum but, Eight weeks ago, I was very stressed, depressed, and anxious then I stepped into this website and had talked to one of the staff. She gave me an empowering of willing to fight and keep going then after that I decided to see a psychologist. Now I'm in the 5th session and still working on it. Thank you beyondblue. Take care everyone

Haggisinoz Life Coaching
  • replies: 4

Afternoon everyone, I hope everyone is safe and well. I wanted to share a recent experience which really helped me personally and I also think anyone can benefit from this no matter where you are in life or what struggles you are experiencing. One of... View more

Afternoon everyone, I hope everyone is safe and well. I wanted to share a recent experience which really helped me personally and I also think anyone can benefit from this no matter where you are in life or what struggles you are experiencing. One of my close friend recently started her own life coaching business and although I was very supportive of this I have always questioned the value of Life Coaching and if this was just all a bit too fluffy to be of value. Personally I have always felt like I was lacking some direction in life and sometimes questioned what I was trying to achieve. Personally for myself I think this probably comes from not having a solid family foundation and always having felt an underlying struggle to find my path in life. I made the decision to start coaching because I knew in myself I was starting to feel a bit lost in life in general and I needed some structure. I can honestly say that this was one of the best decisions I have ever made. I soon realised that the process was very clear and ultimately was directed by myself. My two goals were to work on my career and securing a role in the Community Services sector having worked in financial services for the past 20yrs. I also wanted to focus on myself and building my own self confidence. Having now finished the process I have taken the first steps in changing career having commenced my studies in Mental Health and the process has increased my own self confidence and general life direction which has been so valuable for me. I can only speak for myself but I think that in life it's rally common to feel lost sometimes and we can forget who we are and what we are trying to achieve. This process helped me work on my own personal goals and to really break down whats important to me in life and to make them a reality. I would recommend life coaching to anyone who needs some support and structure but I know that this can also be an expensive excercise. Another option is to set some simple life goals which is a great first step to steering your life in the right direction. I think the most important thing is to make yourself accountable become otherwise it's just not going to be of value. Taking some simple steps like this can have a significant impact in your life, it did for me! Take care (;

Aaronsis Your tail lights aren't working!
  • replies: 3

A dear friend asked me yesterday: "If you took your car to be serviced and when leaving your friends house, your friend noticed your tail lights were not working, would you want them to tell you?" My response was "yes, yes I would"....... He told me ... View more

A dear friend asked me yesterday: "If you took your car to be serviced and when leaving your friends house, your friend noticed your tail lights were not working, would you want them to tell you?" My response was "yes, yes I would"....... He told me "I want to let you know your tail lights are not working!".....confusion..then the penny dropped!!! This lead to a conversation about how I am and also am not taking care of me....which lead me to post this and remind us all of looking out for our friends, and letting them know that they may need to STOP...take a breathe..and regroup...to let our friends know in the nicest possible way "your tail lights are not working!" I had some time to reflect yesterday...there were tears and there was some time that I took for me, which I have not been doing lately....time to do nothing...time to make some choices and to make some commitments to myself to take better care of me.... I am a mother, an employee, a manager, a mother to three cats, a BB Community Champ, a sister, a best friend, a daughter, a granddaughter and I need to be around to fill these roles, I need to be well and to be happy, I want to be well and happy. I have woken up today with a whole new feeling of happiness and of feeling content. So please, if you see your friend who's tail lights might be broken or even just flashing, please reach out...it might just be the gentle nudge they need before the lights not working turns into a car accident! Thank you my friend! I am extremely grateful! Hugs Sarah