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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Rickdawg Not Exactly Sure How I'm Feeling
  • replies: 4

Hello everyone I am new to this website and thought I would make a thread. I am 18 years old and just finished year 12 and plan to go to university next year. I have never dealt with depression or anxiety, at least I think. I have also never done any... View more

Hello everyone I am new to this website and thought I would make a thread. I am 18 years old and just finished year 12 and plan to go to university next year. I have never dealt with depression or anxiety, at least I think. I have also never done anything bad to myself and don't ever plan to. I want to make this post because sometimes my head can think about a lot of things and typically overthink situations. I am a very sensitive person and get hurt/happy easily and believe I have a very good read on other people's emotions, thus I gauge my actions and what I say to never make people I am talking to upset, but I think that is just being considerate. Being 18, I don't think I have experienced most things, people, my age would have. The main one for me is a proper relationship, I have had one, but it was when I was 13 so it wasn't really proper, throughout the end of October to the start of December I had started talking to someone and it was really good, it was long distance, however, but I still went and saw her once and stayed with her for 3 days and it was great. Unfortunately at the start of December something had just happened with her, and I'm not sure what it was, but long story short we have stopped talking. This person made me feel so accepted and comfortable with myself and my quirks as she was accepting of them, so when it all fell apart I plunged into a very deep sadness for a few days, but luckily I spent time with my friends that live here, as well as my friends that lived in Sydney from when I used to live there, so that helped a lot. I know it may seem like a minor issue, compared to other people going through much worse things, I just wanted to make this post to let it off my chest. I typically have an optimistic and fruitful view on life, which helps me to not get sad easily, I also have good distractions such as watching youtube videos or playing games which help me. I am not 'sad' I don't think, but for a long time I have just been, I guess you could call it going with the flow, and just going through life as it goes without really feeling anything. I think a negative trait I have is liking affection and love so much (which isn't negative but in this context it may be), thus I rely on others for happiness a lot, and usually don't find it in myself. I have very good friends and a supportive family but still feel lonely, I hope going to university and moving next year I have the opportunity to meet people or someone new! Thanks all!

white knight Resilience
  • replies: 5

We shouldn't allow mental health issues to fool us. During psychotic episodes or deep depression, we believe there is no hope, no other direction other than- downhill. Perhaps it's more an absence of hope and any feeling of recovery that is the core ... View more

We shouldn't allow mental health issues to fool us. During psychotic episodes or deep depression, we believe there is no hope, no other direction other than- downhill. Perhaps it's more an absence of hope and any feeling of recovery that is the core of the problem? Time is my answer. Even with the absence of hope, time seems to be the answer. Time allows us to regroup, get things into a better perspective not to mention the mind returning to some level of normality. My ritual is to visit a park. My lovely wife knows this and also knows I'll be safe. I watch, keen focus on my surrounds, my mini foxy frolicking in the bushes, nose penetrating to seek out the smells. A wedgetail twitching her tail, magpie songs pierce the silence and chase that crow away. It rains, soon the gum tree weeps like we all do, people begin to run for shelter, I wonder why umbrellas are less popular now? Orchards droop in the breeze and an old man digs in the community before garden, rain to him is irrelevant. I walk, a stranger smiled at me, gives me hope. A toddler runs away from her mother...toward a road, I stop him, mum grateful, I'm feeling better. An elderly neighbour widowed for 15 years prunes her cherished red roses, I ask her for one, she cuts it and she asks who's it for? Then I give it to her. I return to the home I just built. I'm kick started. We enjoy a coffee, talk about my 45 minute park visit, all that beauty...then return to my shed. I realised our chat didn't include my depressive period, the reason for my walk. Resilience through the use of time and distraction. Life is amazing, much more amazing than 2 hours ago... TonyWK

Samsonsam Post your goals for the week.
  • replies: 7

Come to this thread every Monday and post 3 goals or what you want to achieve for the week. There is a decent amount of research showing the benefits of writing down your goals or what you wish to achieve so I thought why not have a thread where we c... View more

Come to this thread every Monday and post 3 goals or what you want to achieve for the week. There is a decent amount of research showing the benefits of writing down your goals or what you wish to achieve so I thought why not have a thread where we can all share our goals for the week every Monday. You might even get some ideas from other people.

Witty_Moniker Do you want to quit smoking?
  • replies: 3

If you’re a smoker you’ve probably tried to quit before, most likely multiple times. There is lots of information online, the problem is that the majority of it comes from 2 places – people trying to sell you a product, and people with the best inten... View more

If you’re a smoker you’ve probably tried to quit before, most likely multiple times. There is lots of information online, the problem is that the majority of it comes from 2 places – people trying to sell you a product, and people with the best intentions repeating the advice of people trying to sell you a product. Lets get away from the b.s. A lot of what I'm about to tell you comes from peer reviewed scientific papers and you can look into it yourself if you're inclined to do so. I’m going to break this down into 2 general sections – physical and psychological effects. Let’s start with the physical and those dreaded withdrawal symptoms. Most of them are not actually caused by nicotine withdrawal, but by caffeine. (coffee, tea, coke etc) There has been a number of studies done on the combination of caffeine and nicotine. There’s really only 2 effects you need to know about though. First, in the presence of nicotine, caffeine exhibits a shorter half-life and faster metabolism. Put simply, caffeine is 2 -3 times less effective when you smoke. (That’s why smokers tend to drink more coffee than non smokers) Now you need to look at it from the reverse. Stopping smoking without changing your caffeine intake is the same as drinking 2 -3 times the amount of caffeine as you currently do. (For example if you normally drink 5 cups of coffee, it would be like suddenly drinking 10 -15 cups) Excessive caffeine like that can cause headaches, irritability, dizziness, insomnia, crawling skin, and more. In extreme cases you can overdose and make yourself physically sick, have chest pains etc. The second effect you need to know about is that caffeine intake increases anxiety while nicotine decreases it. Without nicotine the consumption of caffeine will increase your anxiety levels. This is something to keep in mind, especially if you’re currently struggling with anxiety. So if you’re ready to quit smoking, I highly suggest drastically decreasing your caffeine intake at the same time. If you can, stop drinking caffeine entirely when you first quit, then slowly reintroduce it after a few days. It seems like a drastic move, but you will find quitting is so much easier if you do. (I'm quickly running out of room so I will have to do the psychological section in the comments once it's posted)

white knight Changing your nature
  • replies: 3

I've met many people in my life that have such low self esteem that they are very unhappy with themselves. These people usually attend professional medical staff for long periods and seem to search for what is not locatable- peace and confidence. Oft... View more

I've met many people in my life that have such low self esteem that they are very unhappy with themselves. These people usually attend professional medical staff for long periods and seem to search for what is not locatable- peace and confidence. Often the core of their issue is they dont like themselves. In one of my threads "the frog and the scorpion" the frog ends up trusting the scorpion after many pleas of reassurance. The frog carries the scorpion on his back to the other side of the river where, before they reach their destination the scorpion stings the frog and both die. Just beforehand the frog yells out "but I trusted you, why did you stings me"? to which the scorpion replies "because its in my nature". That story was made famous in the mini series "The Bangkok Hilton" starring Nicole Kidman. And so the theme is- that a scorpion will always be a scorpion, a frog will always be a frog and you will always be you. There is a certain amount of change you can implement to improve yourself in life like career change, not making the same mistake twice especially - relationships. We can save money and improve our environment and we can introduce more empathy. All these changes are significant without being radical because our nature cannot be changed to a radical amount. If you carry out changes like the above and want more then I suggest you look towards accepting yourself more rather than more and more change. Make a list- left side what you dont like about yourself that you'd like to change and the right side what you plan to do to make such changes. If something arises that you cannot change like your height (short or high stature) or weight (over or under weight) then make another list. On top write in bold letter (eg over weight) I WILL NEVER BE SLIM BUT I CAN LOSE SOME WEIGHT- NO EXPECTATIONS JUST A DESIRE. Then plan your journey to lose some weight. Short, medium and long plan goals that are realistic and achievable. It saddens me to watch my teenage relatives in amazement at adoring models and movie stars with the perfect look and figure. Those gifted people have the genes for such body shapes that average people will never have. Its a battle for an uncle to sway them away from them yarning for that figure or fame. Our nature is basically fixed. We can waste so much time, precious time, trying to change what we cannot change. Rather, learn to embrace yourself because there is only one of you and it is truly wonderful. TonyWK

Sadmum96 Tips on getting out of the house when seriously depressed
  • replies: 2

I've noticed that when I'm depressed, which is often, i don't want to do anything. When people ask me to do anything, it makes it worse somehow, often pushing me into suicidal ideation. How do i overcome this? I want to be more active with my 6 year ... View more

I've noticed that when I'm depressed, which is often, i don't want to do anything. When people ask me to do anything, it makes it worse somehow, often pushing me into suicidal ideation. How do i overcome this? I want to be more active with my 6 year old but i just don't want to do anything

PurpleElephant Looking for advice for severe insomnia
  • replies: 2

I am in desperate need of support with my insomnia. I follow sleep hygiene practices, do mindfulness and meditation. My psychologist has said my insomnia is too severe and she cant help me so has given me a name of someone with more experience (I'm w... View more

I am in desperate need of support with my insomnia. I follow sleep hygiene practices, do mindfulness and meditation. My psychologist has said my insomnia is too severe and she cant help me so has given me a name of someone with more experience (I'm waiting on them to get back to me). My GP also cant help, and my psychiatrist is struggling to find medications that can help me in the short term. I also prefer to be off medication, I want to conquer my insomnia but don't know what else is left to do. My severe insomnia restarted a couple of weeks ago when i completely stopped a medication i was on due to how it was affecting me physically. I was dependant on it to make me sleep for 9 years. None of us know what's causing my insomnia. We know why it started many years ago but don't know why its continuing because i no longer have those issues. It isn't due to anxiety, stress or overthinking and I've been to a sleep clinic where they found nothing wrong physically. It seems no health professional can help me so far. I guess I'm just hoping to find someone that's been in a similar boat to me. Unsure of what's causing the insomnia and nothing works to help you sleep. Most nights I have 0 sleep. If I'm lucky I may get 2 hours on a sleep medication. Because of no sleep I'm having migraines and its making me emotional.

AlwaysForgotten The worst kind of isolation
  • replies: 21

I feel like I am going crazy.... My wife is currently living separately from me due to her issues, my parents have both passed in the last 12 years, I was adopted and the rest of my family basically abandoned me when my mother passed, my wife and I m... View more

I feel like I am going crazy.... My wife is currently living separately from me due to her issues, my parents have both passed in the last 12 years, I was adopted and the rest of my family basically abandoned me when my mother passed, my wife and I moved state 5 years ago (she has kids, but I dont have any) & due to her own issues we never got a chance to create a new social circle here... And so now with this self isolation I am literally on my own all day every day. I get to talk to work acquaintances (I am working from home), but other than that I have absolutely no human contact at all. We are supposed to be trying to get to a point where we can live together again, and generally text each other most days. Our couples counselor got her to agree to a video catch up which we had a few days ago, but she just completely ignored me yesterday (seems to be a habit of every saturday which I dont know why). Then I get some lame excuse on Sunday, today's one being "it was a sleepy day", as to why she couldn't even spare 30 seconds just to respond to my good morning text. But even worse still, if I tell her it upsets me then all I get is "whatever", if I dont tell her than its my fault that I bottle it up... so either way... its always my fault. I just cant get through to her that this isolation is affecting me worse than it is most people. She has others around her, she has a brother and sister she can call, parents to talk to, she made sure she made her own friends while she hasn't been home. I dont need the "take a walk, get a dog, find a hobby, do some exercise, find a chat room" kind of response, I know all of that already. I wonder to myself if I just need to vent, or if it is the whole "misery loves company" kind of thing... maybe more than anything else what I need (and what others may need) is just to say how much this isolation thing sucks

white knight Dec 3, international day for people with a disability
  • replies: 1

A remarkable account by a journalist with a disability. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-11-30/abc-reporter-nas-campanella-stranger-says-life-not-worth-living/12920246?utm_medium=content_shared&utm_source=abc_news_amp&utm_campaign=abc_news_amp&utm_co... View more

A remarkable account by a journalist with a disability. https://www.abc.net.au/news/2020-11-30/abc-reporter-nas-campanella-stranger-says-life-not-worth-living/12920246?utm_medium=content_shared&utm_source=abc_news_amp&utm_campaign=abc_news_amp&utm_content=mail

TishaJade Staying Positive
  • replies: 2

Roughly six months ago I came to Beyond Blue for some support through a complicated time whilst I was in a relationship. I was not in a good place back then and came to realize I was not going to be happy with my ex no matter how hard I tried. I have... View more

Roughly six months ago I came to Beyond Blue for some support through a complicated time whilst I was in a relationship. I was not in a good place back then and came to realize I was not going to be happy with my ex no matter how hard I tried. I have been much happier since, and am glad we have parted ways despite still missing him and thinking of him often. Although I feel a lot better than I did back then, I have had six months from hell and I have reached the point where I am started to get exhausted from being knocked down physically and emotionally. Recap of my last six months: My ex left me after a year and a half together, and two weeks later my parents up and moved interstate. I was also unemployed as I lost my job due to Covid19. I found little support through the grieving process as my brother lives several hours away and works interstate for weeks on end. My friends were not supportive (not deliberate) and most of my extended family members are hard to get close to due to complicated matters. My luck changed when I got a full-time job. I even started doing equestrian sports again and bought my own horse. In late September I had a car accident due to stress at work, having a lot of responsibility with little training, and putting 110% into my job. I was disappointed to know my car was a wreck and I was reimbursed for what It was worth. Through this time I was also finishing late at work, and having to find a way to the laundromat to do my washing because my washing machine broke, and I had no car. My best friend of 12 years promised to drop everything and help me by driving me to a car dealer to buy a car so that I could get to work. She never showed up. I walked to several car yards in 30-degree heat and bought the first car I could afford. I called and left messages and she only replied at 4pm that day informing me she was ill and had only just seen my messages. I voiced my frustration but told her I still loved her and she never spoke to me since, ignores me on social media, and won't contact me. I don't know why. To top it off, I got let go of my job two weeks ago and was told I was not performing to the standard they wanted which was just simply not true. I was devastated and left stranded once again with no parents and this time no best friend. My birthday is next weekend and Christmas is around the corner and I see no point celebrating with no family around me. And with my defeated mindset. I am just drained from trying to stay positive.