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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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james1 Getting through Christmas
  • replies: 18

Hi, I wanted to start this thread because there are a lot of people here, and elsewhere in our lives, who struggle during the Christmas period. Depending on my personal circumstances, I'm one of those people and Christmas can really bring out the lon... View more

Hi, I wanted to start this thread because there are a lot of people here, and elsewhere in our lives, who struggle during the Christmas period. Depending on my personal circumstances, I'm one of those people and Christmas can really bring out the loneliness in me. So I thought it would be nice to start a little thread where we can share either what we plan to do over Christmas, perhaps some things that we'd like to do, or even what helps you get through Christmas if it is a difficult time for you. I am quite prone to feeling exceptionally lonely over Christmas, and I don't particularly enjoy family gatherings (difficult history), so the biggest thing I did this year was I made sure I could bring my dog along. I'll take him for a nice walk tomorrow night, perhaps go looking at lights in our covid-safe car, and he'll be with me at lunch on Christmas Day. Another thing I'd like to do on Christmas Day is to get a coffee from my local coffee shop, and hopefully wish them a merry christmas, as I quite like the people who work there. James

Not_Batman Happy New Year!
  • replies: 4

Hi all BBers. tonight marks the end of 2020, and giving rise to a new day beginning 2021. Some say that its a new start, or a second chance to do what you said you would. A time for resolution. it has been a dreadful year full of unknowns for everyon... View more

Hi all BBers. tonight marks the end of 2020, and giving rise to a new day beginning 2021. Some say that its a new start, or a second chance to do what you said you would. A time for resolution. it has been a dreadful year full of unknowns for everyone. Some have been fortunate to be able to cope well with the changes, and some not so well. It has hit people hard, turned whole lives upside down. Very far from a perfect year. I hope that soon COVID can be overcome so we can return to some normality. i have noticed that a lot (if not the majority) of my colleagues at work dont take mental health seriously enough, and that the RUOK day / slogan was not taken as seriously as it should. Though we shouldn't be scared to be that voice to help. i have seen so much support throughout these forums, and am often overwhelmed by the support the comes in and sometimes makes me a little emotional. The stories of struggle and hope make me realise more and more that everyone needs support in their own way. i hope to see the support continue because of the individual benefits it gives everyone. from me to you, i wish you the best new year you could possibly have, but most of all, i wish you all to be well, and treat yourselves with care and compassion. If you can, reach out to someone you know is struggling with their mental health. All it takes is the question “are you ok?” Not_Batman

goldilocks I am having trouble with my sleeping pattern and I am also having trouble with managing my weight.
  • replies: 1

I have been having trouble with my sleeping pattern for nearly a year now. I believe the underlying cause of this is due to the fact that I gave up studying at adult school early last year due to the state of my mental health, and simply had nothing ... View more

I have been having trouble with my sleeping pattern for nearly a year now. I believe the underlying cause of this is due to the fact that I gave up studying at adult school early last year due to the state of my mental health, and simply had nothing else to do with my time except sleep all day long. I was also hospitalised three times last year due to the aforementioned reason and I was discharged from hospital in a physiologically worse state than what I entered in. I was drugged up on a cocktail of medications that have done nothing but make lethargic and make me put on a disgusting amount of weight, in spite of the fact that I used to be very active and alert and used to maintain a fast metabolism. I have spoken with my treating psychiatrist about my concerns and she genuinely doesn't care about what I have to say. Her response to my concerns was to put me on more medication, a weight loss medication which has done nothing for me but make me lose 3kg, which I have put back on repeatedly. Unlike some people, I care about the way I look and I will be undertaking a free fitness consultation early next year, followed by the eight week body transformation. I want to lose weight. I want to be able to not sleep all day long. I want to be able to return to adult school and get my SACE. I want to be able to go to University. I want to be able to travel. I want to be able to work. I want to be able to assist my parents with my housework. There is so much I want to do with myself, but I am unable to because I am so tired all day long (keep in mind I do get a good night's rest.)

Rickdawg Not Exactly Sure How I'm Feeling
  • replies: 4

Hello everyone I am new to this website and thought I would make a thread. I am 18 years old and just finished year 12 and plan to go to university next year. I have never dealt with depression or anxiety, at least I think. I have also never done any... View more

Hello everyone I am new to this website and thought I would make a thread. I am 18 years old and just finished year 12 and plan to go to university next year. I have never dealt with depression or anxiety, at least I think. I have also never done anything bad to myself and don't ever plan to. I want to make this post because sometimes my head can think about a lot of things and typically overthink situations. I am a very sensitive person and get hurt/happy easily and believe I have a very good read on other people's emotions, thus I gauge my actions and what I say to never make people I am talking to upset, but I think that is just being considerate. Being 18, I don't think I have experienced most things, people, my age would have. The main one for me is a proper relationship, I have had one, but it was when I was 13 so it wasn't really proper, throughout the end of October to the start of December I had started talking to someone and it was really good, it was long distance, however, but I still went and saw her once and stayed with her for 3 days and it was great. Unfortunately at the start of December something had just happened with her, and I'm not sure what it was, but long story short we have stopped talking. This person made me feel so accepted and comfortable with myself and my quirks as she was accepting of them, so when it all fell apart I plunged into a very deep sadness for a few days, but luckily I spent time with my friends that live here, as well as my friends that lived in Sydney from when I used to live there, so that helped a lot. I know it may seem like a minor issue, compared to other people going through much worse things, I just wanted to make this post to let it off my chest. I typically have an optimistic and fruitful view on life, which helps me to not get sad easily, I also have good distractions such as watching youtube videos or playing games which help me. I am not 'sad' I don't think, but for a long time I have just been, I guess you could call it going with the flow, and just going through life as it goes without really feeling anything. I think a negative trait I have is liking affection and love so much (which isn't negative but in this context it may be), thus I rely on others for happiness a lot, and usually don't find it in myself. I have very good friends and a supportive family but still feel lonely, I hope going to university and moving next year I have the opportunity to meet people or someone new! Thanks all!

white knight Resilience
  • replies: 5

We shouldn't allow mental health issues to fool us. During psychotic episodes or deep depression, we believe there is no hope, no other direction other than- downhill. Perhaps it's more an absence of hope and any feeling of recovery that is the core ... View more

We shouldn't allow mental health issues to fool us. During psychotic episodes or deep depression, we believe there is no hope, no other direction other than- downhill. Perhaps it's more an absence of hope and any feeling of recovery that is the core of the problem? Time is my answer. Even with the absence of hope, time seems to be the answer. Time allows us to regroup, get things into a better perspective not to mention the mind returning to some level of normality. My ritual is to visit a park. My lovely wife knows this and also knows I'll be safe. I watch, keen focus on my surrounds, my mini foxy frolicking in the bushes, nose penetrating to seek out the smells. A wedgetail twitching her tail, magpie songs pierce the silence and chase that crow away. It rains, soon the gum tree weeps like we all do, people begin to run for shelter, I wonder why umbrellas are less popular now? Orchards droop in the breeze and an old man digs in the community before garden, rain to him is irrelevant. I walk, a stranger smiled at me, gives me hope. A toddler runs away from her mother...toward a road, I stop him, mum grateful, I'm feeling better. An elderly neighbour widowed for 15 years prunes her cherished red roses, I ask her for one, she cuts it and she asks who's it for? Then I give it to her. I return to the home I just built. I'm kick started. We enjoy a coffee, talk about my 45 minute park visit, all that beauty...then return to my shed. I realised our chat didn't include my depressive period, the reason for my walk. Resilience through the use of time and distraction. Life is amazing, much more amazing than 2 hours ago... TonyWK

Samsonsam Post your goals for the week.
  • replies: 7

Come to this thread every Monday and post 3 goals or what you want to achieve for the week. There is a decent amount of research showing the benefits of writing down your goals or what you wish to achieve so I thought why not have a thread where we c... View more

Come to this thread every Monday and post 3 goals or what you want to achieve for the week. There is a decent amount of research showing the benefits of writing down your goals or what you wish to achieve so I thought why not have a thread where we can all share our goals for the week every Monday. You might even get some ideas from other people.

Witty_Moniker Do you want to quit smoking?
  • replies: 3

If you’re a smoker you’ve probably tried to quit before, most likely multiple times. There is lots of information online, the problem is that the majority of it comes from 2 places – people trying to sell you a product, and people with the best inten... View more

If you’re a smoker you’ve probably tried to quit before, most likely multiple times. There is lots of information online, the problem is that the majority of it comes from 2 places – people trying to sell you a product, and people with the best intentions repeating the advice of people trying to sell you a product. Lets get away from the b.s. A lot of what I'm about to tell you comes from peer reviewed scientific papers and you can look into it yourself if you're inclined to do so. I’m going to break this down into 2 general sections – physical and psychological effects. Let’s start with the physical and those dreaded withdrawal symptoms. Most of them are not actually caused by nicotine withdrawal, but by caffeine. (coffee, tea, coke etc) There has been a number of studies done on the combination of caffeine and nicotine. There’s really only 2 effects you need to know about though. First, in the presence of nicotine, caffeine exhibits a shorter half-life and faster metabolism. Put simply, caffeine is 2 -3 times less effective when you smoke. (That’s why smokers tend to drink more coffee than non smokers) Now you need to look at it from the reverse. Stopping smoking without changing your caffeine intake is the same as drinking 2 -3 times the amount of caffeine as you currently do. (For example if you normally drink 5 cups of coffee, it would be like suddenly drinking 10 -15 cups) Excessive caffeine like that can cause headaches, irritability, dizziness, insomnia, crawling skin, and more. In extreme cases you can overdose and make yourself physically sick, have chest pains etc. The second effect you need to know about is that caffeine intake increases anxiety while nicotine decreases it. Without nicotine the consumption of caffeine will increase your anxiety levels. This is something to keep in mind, especially if you’re currently struggling with anxiety. So if you’re ready to quit smoking, I highly suggest drastically decreasing your caffeine intake at the same time. If you can, stop drinking caffeine entirely when you first quit, then slowly reintroduce it after a few days. It seems like a drastic move, but you will find quitting is so much easier if you do. (I'm quickly running out of room so I will have to do the psychological section in the comments once it's posted)

white knight Changing your nature
  • replies: 3

I've met many people in my life that have such low self esteem that they are very unhappy with themselves. These people usually attend professional medical staff for long periods and seem to search for what is not locatable- peace and confidence. Oft... View more

I've met many people in my life that have such low self esteem that they are very unhappy with themselves. These people usually attend professional medical staff for long periods and seem to search for what is not locatable- peace and confidence. Often the core of their issue is they dont like themselves. In one of my threads "the frog and the scorpion" the frog ends up trusting the scorpion after many pleas of reassurance. The frog carries the scorpion on his back to the other side of the river where, before they reach their destination the scorpion stings the frog and both die. Just beforehand the frog yells out "but I trusted you, why did you stings me"? to which the scorpion replies "because its in my nature". That story was made famous in the mini series "The Bangkok Hilton" starring Nicole Kidman. And so the theme is- that a scorpion will always be a scorpion, a frog will always be a frog and you will always be you. There is a certain amount of change you can implement to improve yourself in life like career change, not making the same mistake twice especially - relationships. We can save money and improve our environment and we can introduce more empathy. All these changes are significant without being radical because our nature cannot be changed to a radical amount. If you carry out changes like the above and want more then I suggest you look towards accepting yourself more rather than more and more change. Make a list- left side what you dont like about yourself that you'd like to change and the right side what you plan to do to make such changes. If something arises that you cannot change like your height (short or high stature) or weight (over or under weight) then make another list. On top write in bold letter (eg over weight) I WILL NEVER BE SLIM BUT I CAN LOSE SOME WEIGHT- NO EXPECTATIONS JUST A DESIRE. Then plan your journey to lose some weight. Short, medium and long plan goals that are realistic and achievable. It saddens me to watch my teenage relatives in amazement at adoring models and movie stars with the perfect look and figure. Those gifted people have the genes for such body shapes that average people will never have. Its a battle for an uncle to sway them away from them yarning for that figure or fame. Our nature is basically fixed. We can waste so much time, precious time, trying to change what we cannot change. Rather, learn to embrace yourself because there is only one of you and it is truly wonderful. TonyWK

Sadmum96 Tips on getting out of the house when seriously depressed
  • replies: 2

I've noticed that when I'm depressed, which is often, i don't want to do anything. When people ask me to do anything, it makes it worse somehow, often pushing me into suicidal ideation. How do i overcome this? I want to be more active with my 6 year ... View more

I've noticed that when I'm depressed, which is often, i don't want to do anything. When people ask me to do anything, it makes it worse somehow, often pushing me into suicidal ideation. How do i overcome this? I want to be more active with my 6 year old but i just don't want to do anything

PurpleElephant Looking for advice for severe insomnia
  • replies: 2

I am in desperate need of support with my insomnia. I follow sleep hygiene practices, do mindfulness and meditation. My psychologist has said my insomnia is too severe and she cant help me so has given me a name of someone with more experience (I'm w... View more

I am in desperate need of support with my insomnia. I follow sleep hygiene practices, do mindfulness and meditation. My psychologist has said my insomnia is too severe and she cant help me so has given me a name of someone with more experience (I'm waiting on them to get back to me). My GP also cant help, and my psychiatrist is struggling to find medications that can help me in the short term. I also prefer to be off medication, I want to conquer my insomnia but don't know what else is left to do. My severe insomnia restarted a couple of weeks ago when i completely stopped a medication i was on due to how it was affecting me physically. I was dependant on it to make me sleep for 9 years. None of us know what's causing my insomnia. We know why it started many years ago but don't know why its continuing because i no longer have those issues. It isn't due to anxiety, stress or overthinking and I've been to a sleep clinic where they found nothing wrong physically. It seems no health professional can help me so far. I guess I'm just hoping to find someone that's been in a similar boat to me. Unsure of what's causing the insomnia and nothing works to help you sleep. Most nights I have 0 sleep. If I'm lucky I may get 2 hours on a sleep medication. Because of no sleep I'm having migraines and its making me emotional.