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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight Want to be a hermit?
  • replies: 38

I suspect not many members will read this thread. Reason being, even people with mental illness commonly maintain their regular contact with others.. .including me. However, all my life when depression hits ive been tempted to withdraw fully from peo... View more

I suspect not many members will read this thread. Reason being, even people with mental illness commonly maintain their regular contact with others.. .including me. However, all my life when depression hits ive been tempted to withdraw fully from people...with the exception of my close family members.Why? Sensitivity plays a huge part. Without it a thick skin would shield me against those that hurt. Ok, thats my reason for me being tempted to become a recluse so what stopped me? After a few attempts to run away from humans i realised that it wasnt practical even though l was desperate . I still needed health care so a current medicare card (nowadays), supplies for hygiene, utensils, tools, even hair cutting implements..and if something breaks? What about shelter? I'd suspect these are the reasons hermits are homeless in cities where they can access services. So if you have a burning desire to withdraw from society, what is an alternative? A comfort safe zone might be your answer. Firstly as people with mental illness we should not feel guilty for not contributing towards society. We are often only capable of focussing on our own survival. Find an environment that suits you in housing you can afford. Many of us cant afford much. Consider a caravan...if you are single you are mobile and can park it in someones back yard for low rent..or be a drifter of caravan parks with some roadside or free camping. The concept should be to maintain just enough contact with society to enable you to reap the benefits of it. I call it "swanning". I swan into town for my supplies, have a coffee at our fav cafe if it isnt busy and im feeling well, then swan out. Over time you will perfect the regulation needed of home and away from home to remain in your best possible mental health. A friend of mine a single guy with ptsd rents a cottage in our small town (pop 200). He drives a hiace campervan. His rent is very low here and he can tour around as he likes. He has many friends in Melbourne so when he wants he drives down, stays overnight then leaves the next day. He swans in and swans out. If you are so depressed and can no longer tolerate people for whatever reason, resist the feelings of total withdrawal In 1983 l expressed to my GP my need to live in the bush alone and with no contact. He said "you'll last about 3 months then you will be very unwell". If you have just survived society, take care of yourself and find a safe place on society's fringe. Tony WK

MissJ94 Whats your dream job??
  • replies: 1

Im a nurse, studying to be a midwife. But if i could be or do anything i wanted with my life id either be a professional gamer playing Elder Scrolls or id be a Japanese Idol like the ones in Love Live School Idol Project殺 I often find myself daydream... View more

Im a nurse, studying to be a midwife. But if i could be or do anything i wanted with my life id either be a professional gamer playing Elder Scrolls or id be a Japanese Idol like the ones in Love Live School Idol Project🥰 I often find myself daydreaming about how my life would be if those two were reality, consumes quite a bit of my time to be honest! Your turn!

Sad_Mushroom Be Well
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I am not here much anymore as I got better. It is funny as when you 1st get better you think you will be here all the time to help. THEN Life gets in the way. The DOG does bark at me quite a bit but I can ignore it most times. I can ignore th... View more

Hi all, I am not here much anymore as I got better. It is funny as when you 1st get better you think you will be here all the time to help. THEN Life gets in the way. The DOG does bark at me quite a bit but I can ignore it most times. I can ignore the DOG enough to work and function. I hope you all find your way someday... Kellie

_the_mandalorian_ Need something in the medium term to look forward
  • replies: 2

Tis hard to explain bit let me give it a shot. I have my life more or less in order: I have a good, high paying job I'll be able to pay off my mortgage within 7 years (FYI I'm not that old) I am slightly above average in terms of fitness I have hobbi... View more

Tis hard to explain bit let me give it a shot. I have my life more or less in order: I have a good, high paying job I'll be able to pay off my mortgage within 7 years (FYI I'm not that old) I am slightly above average in terms of fitness I have hobbies like reading, reformer pilates (I'm becoming an instructor), watching some live sports I do a lot of self care like meditation I have a few friends that I see regularly Pre covid I did a reasonable amount of travel, even got a job overseas I don't have a girlfriend/wife and/or family. But my siblings and my parents live nearby It was a LOT of effort (and lots of reading) but I can manage anxiety/life reasonably well My life is pretty stable. I have had (IMHO) bad experiences in the past with relationships where it wasn't really even. People see me and they think I am extremely fortunate. Because of that I get ignored a lot. Or even worse they think they can throw their problems at me (this is an extreme simplification BTW I could probably write a book on these experiences). Even now I have really cut myself back to only messaging 2 of my friends and my mum and sister. Everyone else had just moved on with their life. No falling out or anything they just have other priorities. %90 of the time I am by myself just doing things by myself. And most of the time it is ok. I chose it, I own it. I'm in a process of changing how I look at the world. Everything is just flat. The normal things that lots of people feel good about I feel nothing. It is fine, amor fate (love of ones fate). What I really is something to work towards but I have no idea what that is? I mean paying off my mortgage in my early 40s is good I guess but what else. Post covid I'll probably take myself on a big vacation in Europe (by myself of course). Career wise the only place up the ladder is to get into leadership/management which doesn't interest me. I just need something to get excited about that I can do myself.

Summer Rose Share your “Naomi Osaka” moment
  • replies: 8

Greetings! I’m not much of a tennis fan but something remarkable happened in the sport this week. Superstar player, Naomi Osaka, decided to withdraw from the French Open rather than participate in mandatory post-match media conferences. This brave wo... View more

Greetings! I’m not much of a tennis fan but something remarkable happened in the sport this week. Superstar player, Naomi Osaka, decided to withdraw from the French Open rather than participate in mandatory post-match media conferences. This brave woman described her action as an expression of self-care, designed to protect her mental health. It’s been reported that she experiences both anxiety and depression. This could be a watershed moment for raising awareness of both the prevalence and impact of mental health conditions in sport. It could lead to real change. And it really raised my hopes for a better, kinder future. We may not all be superstars but many of us have drawn our own lines in the sand to protect ourselves, raise awareness and bring about positive change in the mental health space. For me, it was a push for change at my daughter’s school to ensure all students with mental health conditions had access to Individual Learning Plans. After years of discussion, I finally got the administrators’ attention with a discrimination complaint to bring about the change—and it worked. What change have you worked to bring about at home, work, school or local community setting? How did you do it? Why do you think it succeeded? Or, why do you think it faltered? Perhaps by sharing our stories, we can help each improve the experience of people with mental health conditions wherever they live, whatever the issue. Kind thoughts to all

white knight Survival- guarantee it!
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, One of Beyond blue's main focus is preventing suicide along with coping strategies for depression, anxiety and a whole raft of other mental illnesses. A good percentage of members threads is commenced due to desperation from suicidal tho... View more

Hi everyone, One of Beyond blue's main focus is preventing suicide along with coping strategies for depression, anxiety and a whole raft of other mental illnesses. A good percentage of members threads is commenced due to desperation from suicidal thoughts. We members and Community Champions chat and offer strategies to help quell the problem. If that problem persists then it can lead to some terrible outcomes so the topic is an important one. If you've tried strategies of a relative minor nature of change and the affect isnt enough to turn the tide, then more radical methods will be needed. How far will you go to reach the point that you are convinced it is guaranteed suicide will not be tempting? Let's list the major factors that make up major changes (radical) to our lives- Family structure. Major distancing from toxic family or friends. We have a good many people here that have depression that is indirectly or directly caused by their spouse/step children/in-laws/friends. One problem here is that it seems a modern day phenomenon that young adults wont move away or discontinue their toxic friendships because "they're my friends". A contradiction sure but its one to be aware of for good mental health. Similar to long term marriage where 20 or more years and regardless of the toxicity, they refuse to separate. The problem gets worse as time goes by. Change of employment. We all have our comfort zones but there is a lot of bad workplaces out there. You can choose to make the workplace better less toxic by a positive attitude and ignore the trouble makers. Not easy though. It doesnt hurt to keep looking for a better employer Change of profession. Not easy for many but in the security profession we had a lot of choices like retail, static, roaming and investigations. All were different in working conditions. Some like security were filled with bored employees that fed a toxic workplace. Change of environment. How many of you would be willing to move interstate? Bare in mind that if you moved one or two suburbs away from say a bad neighbour or too close to family, then you are likely to bump into them only once a year, say pleasantries and move on. Moving interstate could be a extreme act causing you more harm than good. Spiritual change. Regardless of your beliefs you could search around for other methods to reduce your anxiety. Yoga, group therapy, a monthly visit to the beach and so on. How much change have you introduced to survive life? TonyWK

white knight To stay or to leave?
  • replies: 2

Such a decision is for you and you alone but how do you come to a decision that allows you to have peace in such a life changing process? There is no hard and fast rules. However, some of us with major relationship issues tend to allow, as an example... View more

Such a decision is for you and you alone but how do you come to a decision that allows you to have peace in such a life changing process? There is no hard and fast rules. However, some of us with major relationship issues tend to allow, as an example, abuse to continue one and on and we do not act on it, we weather it. Or our partner has an affair and we forgive him/her, which is your right, then it happens again and again. Some people will allow it to go on- as the alternative- separation is worse to bare. Where is the benchmark to take action? Often people in such distress seek other peoples opinions by telling them in confidence what they are putting up with. This disclosure will receive opinion based on what that person believe sis what "they would do" in a similar situation. But is it unbiased? A girlfriend of a lady in a abusive relationship might well be biased especially if she doesnt like her friends husband, a single man best mates with a husband that is married to a woman that is having affairs can paint a rosy life as a single guy and so on. My point being - confiding in friends is ok for company, for a general opinion, but it is not necessarily a fine way to base any action on. It is comforting only and that is the extent of the benefit. The next step is professional comfort by means of relationship counseling. This step can be daunting at first and disappointing that you have resorted to "help". This first step should include an invitation to your spouse to join you in "fine tuning" your relationship (rather than - "we need help to save our marriage"). This request can be met with a "no" response. What now? How can you mend a broken marriage without counseling together? What you do is go to counseling yourself. But there should be one condition to yourself- if your spouse does not wan tto attend counseling then there is not privilege to the details of such counseling. If he'she asks what happened the answer can be "Well you chose not to come so if you want to help me out can you come next time". If you then disclose what was said at you previous meetings then you risk your spouse pulling out of going altogether as it might seem he wont be given a fair hearing. Every potential relationship split is unique in circumstances, install your own boundaries of behaviour, trust yourself in what you want in life and introduce counseling. Be fair, firm, reasonable, realistic, flexible, determined and self protective. Then make your decision. TonyWK

white knight A good nights deep sleep - sleep apnea and CPAP
  • replies: 4

Its well known in the MH world that a minimum of 8 hours sleep is crutial to a good working mind. Some 20 years ago I was a shift worker of the most appauling hours. 12 hour shifts 12to12, afternoons (not so bad) and midnight to noon...crippling! Why... View more

Its well known in the MH world that a minimum of 8 hours sleep is crutial to a good working mind. Some 20 years ago I was a shift worker of the most appauling hours. 12 hour shifts 12to12, afternoons (not so bad) and midnight to noon...crippling! Why couldnt I handle not staying awake like the others? In security it was important to be on your guard. Eventually I had a sleep study ordered by my GP. This involved attending a hospital in Melbourne overnight. Several monitoring buttons were attached to my upper body to record blood pressure and breathing, heart rate etc. This report is sent to your GP. In my case I had mild to moderate sleep apnea which meant I stopped breathing several times every hour starving the mind of oxygen. I purchased a CPAP machine. We got a 12 volt one for camping reasons with a 240 volt power unit for when home. Essentially a cpap is an air pump that forces air regularly into your lungs stopping you from ceasing to breath. Cpaps have a humidifier, a small tray you can fill with water if your throat gets sore. I have had no need to use it. Like anything consult your doctor. Cpaps are known to increase your life span. They make you feel more alert during the day and no doubt help your mental health. There are various masks you can purchase. The mask doesnt bother me at all now. Eliminating poor sleep is one less challenge we have to bare towards the best outcome of our mental illness. If you are told you stop breathing while asleep or you feel sleepy in the afternoons, you might be best to attend your GP. TonyWK

Meg1977 Help
  • replies: 5

Hi guys i dont post alot because i feel as though ive been doing better but im really confused atm my 14 yo daughter has been working at her first job maccas for 3 wks now and absolutely hates it we didnt ask her to get a job she did this herself wit... View more

Hi guys i dont post alot because i feel as though ive been doing better but im really confused atm my 14 yo daughter has been working at her first job maccas for 3 wks now and absolutely hates it we didnt ask her to get a job she did this herself with a friend who also got a job like i said shes miserable and i dont know what to do she cries before leaving but cant tell me what she hates about it and im to the point that i get anxiety a day before her shift i want her to learn from this and not just quit cos sometimes you just have to work thru things and get to the other side Her mental health is very important to me but will she then think its ok to quit whenever she feels uncomfortable about something abit of info: she does suffer from some anxiety and has always had me there to save the day with things she isnt a confident person and only has 1 close friend thanx for any advice xo

white knight Covid19 - the positive side
  • replies: 0

Can I mention "the comfort zone"? In no way do I want to down play the hurt and suffering that some of us is experiencing during this ongoing lockdown in Victoria, Melbourne now and upheaval around the globe. What I'd like to highlight here in this t... View more

Can I mention "the comfort zone"? In no way do I want to down play the hurt and suffering that some of us is experiencing during this ongoing lockdown in Victoria, Melbourne now and upheaval around the globe. What I'd like to highlight here in this thread is the underlying positives of the pandemic and the changes to us that has been forced upon us. Let's go back to the 20th century. If you lived the whole century you would have experienced a pandemic, around 1933. Several flus like the Spanish flu that was very serious. Then of course there was WW1,WW2, Korean war, Vietnam war and wars in the middle east. Droughts, bush fires and one scar that etched itself forever in those that lived through it- the Great Depression. Life without food! In comparison the current pandemic has some modern assistance to make us feel not so alone... social media, forums, the smart telephone, skype, facetime and so on. Not to mention supermarket purchases unaffected. However, if one jailed prisoner has a TV, wifi, computer games etc and another has no such comforts, they are both jailed, they are both robbed of their freedom. Likewise even though we have our comforts we are still in lockdown or under threat. That makes it hard for many people. I knew an old man that said to me "the only good thing about wars is that they wake society up from where it sleeps". Meaning we get so comfortable we dont ever think a wake up call will come like the pandemic or a war. Therein lies the positive- that we are "woken up" and we'll tell our children or grand children one day about this pandemic like my father told me about the Great Depression. There is an argument that only when we struggle (financially, isolation, restrictions, lack of work etc ) do we then appreciate what we have and how wonderful life is when we recover. That is like those two prisoners- both will appreciate freedom when it comes around. Freedom is similar- you only really appreciate it until you are imprisoned and its taken away. You only appreciate life pandemic free when we all conquer Covid19. With full immunisation eminent we WILL overcome this disease and hold within us an appreciation of what life we have without facemasks and travel restrictions. That's the positive. Hold onto that. We will be stronger and more appreciative. Can you think positive about our challenges what ever they be? TonyWK