MELTDOWN....back to basics?

[white knight]

Many of us have come across situation like in a factory or workplace whereby a scheme is introduced and doesnt work and after several attempts they call for "back to basics".  In an overload situation where machines have overheated or computers have crashed we go to "safe mode". This enables you to continue on with your work albeit at a slower rate until things get back to normal.

After reading many posts here in particular on the depression threads there seems clear to me one theme- meltdown. The sufferer has suffered meltdown and is (understandably so) wondering how to move forward, how long it will take, how long before the meds take effect, why family and friends arent supportive, why cant I get out of bed etc.

Is this because sufferers "expect" to get over their condition quickly...say a few days?  If they havent suffered a mental illness before then they likely do think it will be a short term thing.  I dont know about you that are reading this but I was never told I had lifelong illnesses by my professional therapists until well into my consultations well after diagnosis.

So back to the posters here that are new to their illness wanting a quick fix, them finding difficulty accepting their illness and the length of time recovery could take.  I suggest that modern day life doesnt help. Stress ...mmmm...I'm sooo suspicious on the effects of stress.  I see modern stress as something that has come from the rat race. You know, all the things we have to do and fit it into the time we have available. Do I need to list them- no, I think we all know this pain.  So why is it so?  Is it only a modern day phenomenon?  Prior to 1900 we had major issues of health (remember no anti biotics), few machines to make life easier and no services to care for us. Apart from locking us away.

Then the early 20th century we had wars, the great depression and continuing stigma. I think the golden period was the t60's to the 90's...why?  Because although the last 25 years has brought us the computer age I suggest that it hasnt reduced our workload only increased our efficiency so we produce more.

I diverted a little. What I believe is that it really doesnt matter what era we were born, the complexity of life has been heavy on mentally ill patients regardless. 

Like 'safe' mode on a computer can sufferers of depression for example, if possible, delegate friends or family to carry out their daily and weekly chores for them? Effectively if they can have a carer for a time so they are allowed to feel free to sleep or some other form of shutdown so they can give themselves every chance of recovery?

Am I on the right track here?  There just seems to be a trend in threads of a need for sufferers to only cope with the basics of living until repair is given the best chance.

You comments welcome

[White_Rose]

Dear White Knight

This is an intriguing post.  I am inclined to agree with you about allowing the depressed person time to sleep etc initially.   When this person is a parent it is very difficult to go 'offline' for a while.  Apart from the practical issues of daily chores the welfare of children is a significant factor.  If another family member were able to live in for a while and take the pressure off the parent I think it would be great.

One of the biggest benefits in this scenario is that the depressed person (DP) would have company, a shoulder to cry on etc and I think it is important that someone is easily available to provide comfort and a feeling of safety.  Whatever the circumstance of the DP, to have help on tap would be terrific.

The biggest problems are the mental health of the helper over a period of time and having a suitable person as the helper.  Too many of the posts on this site demonstrate the impatience and lack of knowledge of others towards the DP and its impact on the DP.  To have someone who constantly urged the DP to get up, pull yourself together, think of the children, snap out of it, there are others worse off than you, etc. etc.etc. would become a nightmare.

In a perfect world the local neighbourhood would take care of the DP with a range of people 'popping in' during the day to offer support or just sit with the person. Unfortunately very few people know their neighbours more than two doors away.

The question of how much the GP or psych should tell the DP is also difficult.  Once I began to see daylight again I assumed that I would recover and life would go on as before.  No thought of relapses.  I saw it in the same way as a physical illness.  You get sick, take some medication and time off work, then you get well and start living again.

At the begining, when I became depressed, I thought this was my life from now on.  No hope of recovery, just confined to hell for the rest of my life.  Now if the psych had confirmed this I wonder if I would still be alive now.  Once I started to recover I was told it would take a couple of years to be well again.  This freaked me out.  I was prepared for six months, but years...?  Not this little black duck.

Maybe there is a time to break the news that depression is like cancer.  You have times of remission but it always there.  The difference is that depression does not have to cause your death.  Explaining too soon and the DP will lose all hope.  Waiting until the DP has gone back to their previous life and then dropping the bombshell could send them into a tailspin.

Not saying at all?  A bit like not telling someone they have a terminal illness.  Is it ethical?  A DP needs education about depression when they are able to understand and take in the information.  They also need to learn strategies for keeping well and coping with a relapse.

WK, you say you were not told until well into your therapy and I suspect the reason is because of the situations I have described.  When and how you inform someone about the parameters of their illness is not something I would like to decide.  I can only presume that professional health workers receive some training in this area, although it would be different in each case.

Like you, I will be extremely interested in the views of others.

White Rose

[Neil_1]

Dear White Knight

My word – what another brilliant, well written and insightful post you’ve provided.  So many well constructed thoughts and comments – I really enjoyed reading it.

I’m actually a bit flummoxed with how to post a response to this – apart from really saying that I agree with your post.

Here’s just a quick personal example of stress the other evening – it was my partner’s birthday – and as the evening came, she let me know that she’d be home in half an hour.  I thought, “Great”, I can get down to the shops, get some nice takeaway that she enjoys for dinner;   but I also need to get to the chemist for some of my meds that I need,  and I need another box of beer.   All would have been great – had I not go to the shops (just 5 minutes away) to read the sign on the Chinese Restaurant – Closed On Mondays!

Instant stress!  Plan A was ruined.  I hadn’t even thought of a Plan B – so my mind raced – I’ve still gotta get dinner, plus I do need those other two items;   so then had to think where was the next closest centre for all that – and my battery on my mobile went dead, so I couldn’t let ‘home’ know that I’d be a bit later.  Stress stress stress.

So I hi-tailed it to the next shopping centre – a bit more spread out this one – so it was jogging/limping as best as I could to get all things done – back and forth – and my heart was racing.

I finally made it home, amazingly 35 mins later and just about a minute after my partner had got home.  End result, everyone was fine and happy with things.   However Neil was then coming back in anxiety and stress levels, that really peaked at high levels.

Is there a moral to this story – probably – and if ‘laid-back Joe Bloggs’ had read the above, they no doubt would be laughing their head off at how I reacted.  They would have just moseyed along to the next place, gone along and got the things they needed and headed back home – stating, I’m here and here’s our feast.  Let’s tuck in.

But for me, even writing the above has sent me into sweats about it.  You know, sometimes I think I suffer from depression and anxiety!!!

Neil

[white knight]

Great replies, love it.  Neil, I tie myself up in knots also.   But since leaving work I've been able to plan the day much better.  If I only have half an hour to attend 3 shops I wont go and leave it till the next day. Far easier when not working. But it was her birthday....

White Rose, interesting the reasons GP's and other professionals would keep info from a DP.  Didnt think of those reasons.  

So from both your posts I assume persons suffering any mental illness needs a confidante, a trusted person, not necessarily a person close to the DP, but trusted and educated in mental illness.  Educated.....that's the key I think. I'd estimate 80-90% of all adults are not educated as to mental illness. And some cant be.  eg

I've got a friend that had a brother with bipolar 1 and his brother suicided 2 years ago.  When I was at a low ebb I screamed at him one day "I'm not well at the moment cant you please understand". His reply- "my brother had bipolar for 45 years of his life and I couldnt get in his head, no hope of getting into yours".

So we have to understand that a large percentage of people dont have the 'capacity' to reach out and care. It doesnt mean they dont love us. It is like a carpenter trying to recondition a car engine.

So for the DP it is a difficult task piled on top of an already big crisis. To seek out a trusted and caring person to care for their day to day chores and tasks.  It is a huge issue. In comparison a loved one breaks a leg. Nearly all adults would have the seemingly "mechanical" knowledge to care for such a person....help with the wheel chair, crutches, recognising the injured persons mobility restraints, ....really its so obvious to so many what needs are for a physically injured person. Mentally ill people- as my friend said- is far more difficult.

And that leads to people like us and others more connected to the mental illness fields. Education. Just a thought- if the government introduced a scheme whereby once a person goes on medication for depression a field representative is notified and attends the patients home for a 1-2 hours discussion. I would guess that funding would be saved thrice by less medical attention over the forthcoming years, save the sufferer more suffering, keep those ill in the workplace and families would fracture less. 

[White_Rose]

Hello Guys

Re your last comment about a field rep WK.  What do you mean by a field rep?  My instant thought was someone from a pharmaceutical company, just the association of title.  I'm sure this is not what you mean.

Some mental health specialist?  Referring to my post above, when is the DP able to understand their condition and "get" the information.  It really is a catch 22 situation. DPs need info but they are not usually not able to absorb it at first.  See most of the posts here.  Just being diagnosed with depression is often a shock.  "Not me, I'm not crazy.  You must be mistaken." I'm sure it must be like being told you are a leper, an outcast and for many people this is how they feel.  And on top of that they must cope with the depression itself.  Being depressed is not for the fainthearted.

I agree that the answer is education.  But it's too late when depression strikes.  First aid is often taught in schools so why not teach students about mental illness.  We all know that children are the most accepting members of our community.  If they learn when young that mental illness is not something to be afraid of, then as they grow up hopefully their coping mechanisms will be more resilient.  Both for themselves if the have a mental illness and to help and support others who become unwell. 

So many things we need in our ideal world.

I hope others join this conversation.  I relish the discussion process.

White Rose

[white knight]

Yes White Rose..."field rep" wasnt the best choice of terms.  Mobile nurse specialising in mental health issues etc is what I meant.

Ys education from a young age. Now we are getting somewhere.

[geoff]

dear WK, WR  and Neil, so many great points and suggestions here, so I hope that I don't miss any, now is this a part of overcoming depression, or having OCD, or an anxiety thing, don't know.

I used to still panic if the Chinese restaurant is closed and not expecting it to be, and then I can begin to worry, but I have come to the conclusion now, and that's what happens just happens, go back home tell anybody who's there (Mindy), sorry mate I'll ring for a pizza instead, but the same may happen if anyone of my sons are there.

This is something that was always a trigger for me, and when it does start to happen, I realise that I can't do anything about it, so plan B comes into effect.

The same applies to when I say to someone be ready by 9am and if they are still in bed I tell them I'll give you 10 minutes otherwise I'm going, maybe this is related to my OCD.

Depression should be taught at school so I agree with WR, as there are so many basic topics that are never learnt at school, because once you leave or graduate how many of the topics are brought into effect, but we know that depression is lurking around the corner, and when we get it, we basically have no idea of what to do, so we are thrown into a panic mode.

I have to say for myself in depression that I hated the 'crisis team' coming to visit me, because I just wanted to be alone, so when they did come I agreed with everything they said just so they could go away.

Even today I a feel uncomfortable when someone just knocks on the door without any warning, because I can't control when I want them to go, and that's why I much prefer to actually go and visit these people, because I can come and go when I want to at my discretion.

It's a funny world but depression is far from being funny as it has total control over us. Geoff.

[white knight]

I hear you Geoff.  The personal visit thing would pose a problem. Maybe the idea is ok but the technique isnt. eg emails or phone calls might be better?

As for plan B's.... I treat shopping trips like a helicopter pilot. They are trained to constantly choose crash landing spots as they fly...constantly.  Same with shopping...so I constantly adjust my plans and expect the unexpected. Of course it doesnt work all the time.  We run a diesel car and that sinking feeling comes when the local servo has run out (we live in a regional area.). We have to accept that life isnt always smooth. But such 'surprises' doesnt help with anxiety as Neil has described.

[White_Rose]

There are so many variables to this scenario and having the resources to manage them in the least obtrusive fashion is problematical.  Also of course there is the difficulty of knowing beforehand what problems are going to be encountered.  So if I can recap the problem.

How can appropriate help be given to a DP (or anyone else with a mental health problem) when they are initially diagnosed?  I think this was WK original question.

It seems to me that a major part of this conundrum is the lack of knowledge about mental health in general and I think we have all agreed that it is important to rectify this.  Unfortunately there is no specific type of person who becomes mentally unwell and it seems like a lottery.  Does getting depression make up for not winning Lotto?  Whoops, sorry about that.

So just as we are supposed to be taught to read and write in school, so everyone should have some knowledge of mental illness.  Even being taught this does not mean those with illnesses are not monsters would be a good start.

I suspect that if this really worked there would be more offers of help for the people we are discussing, those newly diagnosed with a mental illness.  Imagine if your friends and neighbours realised you were in emotional and psychological pain, that you were not faking it for some underhand reason of your own, that all the symptoms we have described are real and valid.  Wow! This would be fantastic.

It would also be a damn sight cheaper than hospital care.  Not that I am suggesting hospitals may not be needed.  Some situations require constant, skilled care.

So how does this all start?  Not with education funding cuts that's for sure.

So guys, I have had a huge day and got to the end of my resources for today.  I hope to hear more from you and perhaps other contributors.

White Rose

[white knight]

This thread was started over 2 years ago.

I thought I'd update that since then apart from an around Oz trip, my back to basics plan has been an incredible success.

Our trip created stresses so basic living wasn't possible.

Our gardening has increased by choice. It gives us exercise that is interesting and rewarding. We barter vegies with our country neighbiurs. We avoid large shopping centres and never park where meters are. We limit our food shopping time. We use direct debit for most bills. Our large telco tends to stuff up our dd so we bpay them. I've halved my Facebook friends. I've removed all toxic people from my life including manipulators and those too much into expectations.

Consider a back to basics program. It will help with your mental illness.

Tony WK