Do you forgive?

Guest_1055 · ‎14-11-2015

Feeling hesitant about writing this and little scared of what people will think about me, a fear of being rejected I think. Well here goes.

Just today I have been thinking about forgiveness, forgiving the people who hurt us, let us down, or bring us pain in any other way. And I think forgiving actually helps us.

So what I aim to do, as a strategy to get rid of bitterness from within me is to:

1. Grap an apple or a potato from the kitchen.

2. I am off to see what I have got, yeah I have an apple that is going soft.

3. Write on the apple or whatever you have chosen " I forgive you" and draw a smiley face, that is what I did, and it is looking right back at me now.

4. Think of that person that has hurt you, and say I forgive you....... for hurting me.

5. And then I will go to the ocean, because I live near there. Walk down to the waves, and use all my physical strength and throw the apple as far as a can. "Just let in go"

Note: If anyone tries this strategy from beyond blue, and I come across an apple on the beach. I will toss it back in for you.

Not sure of the outcome of this strategy yet, but I will keep you posted if you would like.

Also if you are not near an ocean, maybe you could choose a paddock.

OK going to post this now, still scared of what people will think of me."Rejection"

hannalogy · ‎15-11-2015

Hey Shelley,

I think that does sound like a good strategy.. Good on you for having the maturity to be willing to forgive those who have hurt you and for being brave in facing the pain and hurt of it.. I hope you are doing ok.

To throw in my thoughts about forgiveness... In my experience, forgiving someone doesn't mean that you suddenly stop feeling hurt or pain from what happened. For me, I have found that I have needed to choose to forgive someone multiple times for the same thing... Sometimes it is a daily choice.. But I think part of the brilliance of forgiveness is that it is a choice to not let what happened define or control you.. It is saying "I choose to put this thing aside, it is not the boss of me.".. and so when I find those old wounds surfacing again I can choose afresh to forgive and move forwards.

I'm a bit tired so I hope its not to vague.

All the best to you

Hannah

Guest_1055 · ‎15-11-2015

Hello Hannah

Yes I do understand about the choosing to forgive multiple times for the same thing. And I also understand most of what you have mentioned, thank you by the way. But I am not getting a grasp of not letting it control us. Is it like by choosing to forgive, you are not allowing bitterness or resentment to like drive you? Or perhaps being controlled my the wrong emotions? Am I getting it now? I am properly just tired too and need to go to bed as well. But I would love to know your response to my question if that is OK and you are able.

Thank you Hannah

white knight · ‎15-11-2015

Hi Shelly Anne,

What an inspiring thread. Thankyou

There's that famous saying "forgive them for they not know what they do". This categorises issues with others into a pigeon hole where we can cope with it. It allows us to accept they don't mean what they do because they are not capable of doing anything else.

It works for me.

Cheers Tony WK

Guest_1055 · ‎16-11-2015

Hello Tony WK, please is it OK to call you White Knight, I love that name because it seems to say pure strength or something?

I am glad you were inspired and you are most welcome. I am thinking it was Jesus that said:

'Forgive them for they not know what they do" Is that right?

Bye now

White_Rose · ‎17-11-2015

Hello Shelley

Great to hear from you. I have been reading all the posts on this thread to catch up with what is happening in your world. You seem quite positive and stronger which is good. It just gets better.

Tony has pointed you to "Forgive them for they know not what they do". I will add in the spirit of Hannah about repeating the forgiveness. "Forgive them seventy times seven". The whole quote is too long.

Just a short post. This has been the week from hell but it will get better.

Mary

Guest_1055 · ‎17-11-2015

Hi Mary

Have you really been reading this thread, to catch up to what is happening in my world? Well I thank you very much sweet Mary, and I feel honoured that you have came into my world. I truly do. It is not so lonely.

Blessings to you sweet Mary

Shelley anne

StefT · ‎19-11-2015

Do you forgive, that can be difficult but it's important for your own benefit if not theirs. Letting go, forgiving lets us find peace with what happened and ourselves, allowing us to reclaim power over our lives.

It's worth recognizing that they were working with the best tools they had at the time, they may have been dealing with their own psychological issues and even if they left they were hurting also.

I know I need to, I don't remember dreams much, when I do i'm having nightmares similar to PTSD. I now understand I need to remove this pain or I will continually fail at creating new habits to replace bad habits to make my life what I want.

Guest_1055 · ‎19-11-2015

Hi StefT

For me to make the choice to forgive somebody or even yourself for that matter is not easy. Because sometimes the pain and hurt is so strong, so blinding. I am not sure about you, but for me it is hard to see anything else clearly, because I become so self focused and inward looking.

And I do agree with you, forgiving someone does bring a sort of peace. And I think it is good for our hearts. I have experienced this peace before. But having said all that, the wounds that cause all the hurt and pain do sometimes take a while to heal. I am wondering as I write this if forgiving is the first step to that healing. But I am unsure of that.

And StefT I do not know of all your circumstances and what you have gone through, but I think I do understand from what I have read from your previous words you have posted, is that you are hurting perhaps deeply. I am so sorry StefT and I hope that you will heal soon.

With hugs to you.

xxx

StefT · ‎19-11-2015

Hey Shelly Anne I hope you are feeling better today, it's a rocky ride, still every day we learn and understand more to heal. I don't think forgiveness is the first step at all, but in time forgiveness or at least accepting what happened is so vital. One quote I found is "Forgiveness is understanding there is nothing to forgive". Both in what the other person did and with ourselves.

Keep fighting the good fight

Guest_1055 · ‎19-11-2015

Hello StefT

It feels like we are meeting up a lot or something. I hop on this forum and there you are. Hugs to you again and again.

Thank you for your words, I am feeling better today, it does seem a bit brighter. How are you getting along? Sorry I may have asked that before. I am getting muddled up.

xxx