FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Be Yourself but who am I?

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be happier, be kinder , ask less questions and the list goes on.

I find this confusing if I am to be myself why must I change?

The other problem is who am I, which self should I be: the introvert, the extrovert, the cautious, the risk-taker, the overthinker, the fast talker, the quiet one, the indecisive one, the spontaneous one, the carefree one, the worried one, the selfish one, the altruistic one, and much more.

Thse two words be yourself seem so easy for many people but not for me as it fills me with many questions.

I will limit myself to two questions .

Can you be yourself without changing?

Is it possible to change/improve a part of yourself and still be yourself?

Quirky

1,874 Replies 1,874

Hi Quirky

I have my own saying

"Indecision evaporates with expertise".

I built my own caravan. It took over a year to design it. I asked hundreds of questions to builders, electricians and so forth. I was really indecisive. I finished it and we towed it around Oz. Now I'm going to build a larger one.

I'm more confident now. One could say I'm showing an amount of expertise.

People I've met on the road marvel at a van that looks professionally made. I am more confident now.

Hope that helps.

Tony WK

Later, you intrigue me.I also ask lots of questions.

Mental health is a huge issue and can affect many facets of our life. I sense you are looking fir answers and sometimes there aren't any or they may not be the answers we seek.

I have messed up a lot of my life but now it try to focus on now and the future as I can't change my past. Of course I still feel guilty.

Tony, I don't see your designing a caravan as being indecisive but it was a steep learning curve gathering the best information. I sometimes can't decide what to have for lunch , and other trivial things.

I think you are very creative and clever to build your own caravan if you were indecisive you still would not have built it after ten years!!

Quirky

Thankyou Quirky for you are jighlighting the fact that my indecision is actually minor and within the realms of common limits whereas yours is off the scale by comparison.

I'm vvery intetested in your thread as I havent come across this. A form of OCD perhaps?

Tony WK

Tony. I am not sure if your are joking. I am not paralysed by my indecision just aware of it . I don't think I have any OCD characteristics .

obviously my style of writing is confusing people.

I will try hard to make things clearer.

Quirky

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Quirky~

I saw the title of your thread and thought - that's not for me, I only get confused and overwhelmed (and upset for some reason) if I look too deep at me to see what I am.

Then I saw Quercus give a short simple list of things she was sure about, others did the same. That sounded like something I could try.

I need there to be forgetfulness, love, fairness, kindness and the arts in the world. I'm sure those needs are part of who I am.

I guess it's too general, but it's a start

Thanks

Croix

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Croix thanks for your reply.

I am not good at titles so I find it hard to choose one.

I did not mean it to be confusing but I guess I get confused about who I am.

I too liked Quercus list.

Thats what I like about posts is someone can see something your thread to make it simple for others. Thanks Quercus.

Croix I could put all of your list on my list too.

I am thinking after a week I would want to change my heading!!

Quirky

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Quirky~

The heading is fine - it's me that gets confused:)

Croix

quirkywords
Community Champion
Community Champion

Croix thanks but I do tend to confuse people as I ramble a lot.

I may want to change my heading as I get ideas from the great posts. This is a learning curve.

People have said this too before I guess but your picture reminds me of The Lewis Carroll poem the Walrus and the carpenter.

Quirky

I'm confused,

Are you guys married?

Later

Croix
Community Champion
Community Champion

Dear Later~

Yes, I am married (but not to Quirky).

Quirky - the picture is indeed from Alice Though the looking Glass.

Croix