Be Yourself but who am I?

[quirkywords]

I have often been told to just be myself but then I am encouraged to be softer, think less, eat less, worry less, relax more , exercise more, be more confident, less timid, less cautious, more adventurous,less selfish, stop being a people pleaser, be happier, be kinder , ask less questions and the list goes on.

I find this confusing if I am to be myself why must I change?

The other problem is who am I, which self should I be: the introvert, the extrovert, the cautious, the risk-taker, the overthinker, the fast talker, the quiet one, the indecisive one, the spontaneous one, the carefree one, the worried one, the selfish one, the altruistic one, and much more.

Thse two words be yourself seem so easy for many people but not for me as it fills me with many questions.

I will limit myself to two questions .

Can you be yourself without changing?

Is it possible to change/improve a part of yourself and still be yourself?

Quirky

[quirkywords]

CMF I like how you changed because you wanted to. 

Others are  friends and family, I also get told how I am awkward with babies. I had a few children I just dont gush over babies. 

[CMF]

I am;

Hurting, sad, honest. Caring, loving,  loveable. 

Alone but not lonely.

[quirkywords]

thanks cmf

I would add you are true, open, insightful. respectful of yourself and othetrs.

Alone but not lonely is something I relate to.

I am sad I dont have the courage you have to change things . I know nothing will change unless I stop being a doormat but because of our ages it seems impossible to change. 

[CMF]

I understand Quirky. I'm guessing you have been with your partner a long time.  I was fortunate that m & I didn't live together or see much of each other. I'm lucky that I kept guard up a little last 6 months. I'm happy with who I am now. I'm mote relaxed, at ease & focused on my life & not a life that includes him at all.

[quirkywords]

Thanks CMF it is good to see you being confident and focused.,

[quirkywords]

I still find it hard to be myself when my partner points out I am messy and disorganised. I know I am. My children point out how technically challenged  I  am . I know who I am messy and disorganised and hopeless at technical things so what can’t others just learn to live wit my flaws as I live with theirs. Can anyone relate. 

[CMF]

I think if you can accept you are that's all that matters. Let others think what they want. I'm not great with technology. I openly admit it too. I don't care what people think.

We know what a thoughtful, supportive,  kind hearted person you are. That's what's important.  

[CMF]

I decided to update my social media.  Updated my photo, added work friends which I don't usually do. I'm trying to connect & engage with more people instead of shutting myself off as I do. I've had lots of friend requests from men. At first it was sort of flattering but now it's creepy. I realised being "out there " is not me. 

[quirkywords]

CMF I can be an introvert at times at other times I like connecting to others. 
I am glad yiu want to engage more with others on Fb.

[CMF]

Hi Quirky,

I attended a company meeting this week that I dont normally. I didn't meet anyone new but I did make an effort to say hi to people I know.  I went out of my comfort zone & it was ok. I'm still finding myself after recent events. I'm not who I was over the summer.  That chapter is done. In fact that story is done. I need to start a new story but not sure who I am just yet. I guess I'm still developing my character 😌