Adherence / Compliance -- How do you make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

[zailleh]

Hi Everyone,

One of my biggest challenges with depression is doing the things I know make me feel better and make a positive difference to my emotional state. Especially when I'm feeling my worst, these things would make me feel better but I can't make myself do them because depression just kills all motivation.

Just hoping to draw on the collective experience here. What kind of things do you to help make yourself do the things that make you feel better?

Cheers,
Zailleh

[Doolhof]

Hi Carmen Lisa,

I'm sure most of us can recognise those days where everything just seems too much and we just want to go to bed.

Sometimes I do think that is a very good option. If life is getting too much, bed can be a very safe place.

Take your phone with you. If your thoughts become too much phone a family member, a friend or one of the help lines. If you are so bad that you believe hospital is the right option, than please go for that as well.

Regarding tackling things, as others have suggested in many posts, have you tried to make a list of the things you need to do?

Sometimes I break that list down even further. Say you need to: do the washing, clean the house, shop for food, go to work, and do what ever else needs doing, just looking at that list could freak you out on a not so good day.

Okay washing- only wash what you really need in the immediate future, do the rest tomorrow or the day after.

Clean the house? Mmmm maybe wash the dishes and vacuum if you have a malting pack of dogs in the house. Try and tackle one more bit of housework tomorrow.

Work...well we can't always get out of that one. But if we need to there is usually an option.

Just take small steps. One thing at a time. Break it down to manageable bits.

Praise yourself when you do manage to accomplish something. That can go a long way. Hope some of this helps!

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[Carmen_Lisa]

Thank you dear Dooley? I'm new here and it is kinda a good thing to get some interaction with others. My 'big' thing today was being social. I went. I hated it. I think I could have stayed in bed today and it would have been okay. Other times I would go to things and I get on okay and it not be as bad as I thought, but not today.

I ended up calling suicide call back this afternoon. The lady I spoke to was very helpful. In 13 years of struggling with depression, I'd never called a help line. The best thing she told me was from all the people who she talks to who have lost someone to suicide, every single one of them says if only the person had told them how they were feeling. That really gave me the permission to talk to my friends/accept care from others. I never like to say anything as I think I will be a burden. I think I sound pathetic and I should be able to manage.

How I need to remember to take one step at a time! I could especially imagine taking your advice when it comes to cleaning. All or nothing doesn't work out so well for me. 

[Doolhof]

Hi Carmen Lisa,

It is great to see you on the screen again! I have been away for a few days due to ill health, so sorry for not being here in contact quicker than this!

Well done to you for picking up the phone and talking to someone about how you are feeling! Congratulations. Now you have done it once, you know you can do it again.

It also sounds like the person on the other end gave you some great advice.

So from what you wrote, does it mean you have talked to friends about how you are feeling or that you feel more comfortable now doing so?

Sometimes my depression has been so low I have felt like doing something drastic, but thankfully I have not. I think of all the people who would miss me if I did.

A few years ago a friend phoned and stated he needed to come over as he was feeling suicidal. I am so pleased I was there for him as now he has 4 children and a bright life.

We all need someone to listen to us.

On Sunday I talked to some people at  Church about how I am sometimes so depressed I have thoughts of suicide. A couple of them stood up and said they would be there for me. Others didn't.

Not everyone can be, but that is okay. You have a phone number to call now. Just in that, if for some reason you don't "click" with the person you are talking to, ask if you can please talk with someone else.

Please don't ever think of yourself as being a burden, and don't think you should be able to manage by yourself. Just ask yourself can a person suffering from asthma or serious diabetes look after themselves without any help or assistance? Not very effectively No and maybe not at all.

We are all entitled to help and assistance when we need it. I am worth it. You are worth it!

Cheers for now from Dooley

Oh yer, the INTERTACTION part is also a great way to better understand how you and others feel.

You may like to check out some other posts and threads and join in the conversations.

A great thing with Beyond Blue is that  we are all anonymous. No one judges. We all have our own problems, but we don't need to be alone. We are all part of a caring community!

Cheers again to you!

[Carmen_Lisa]

Thank you 

[Doolhof]

Hi Carmen Lisa,

You are welcome.

I hope you are travelling okay.

Cheers to you from Dooley

[V17]

Hi Zailleh,

I have not asked myself this, so thank you for the heads up.

Okay, each day I shall aim to ask myself what I am grateful for.

So, today: I am grateful that I can walk.

Oh, wow. I think my heart smiled.

[Doolhof]

Hi Judahlion,

I just connected with you on a different thread. Welcome to you.

There is another thread called "Three things to be thankful for each day" you might like to post there as well or read what others have written.

While connecting with this thread, you may have noticed it has been some while since this thread was active. That's for starting it up again!

Cheers again from Mrs. Dools

[Doolhof]

Here is another thread I am reactivating. Thanks to the moderators who have reconnected me to these helpful and worthwhile threads when contacting me over the weekend.

Today I am planning to do things that I know I will appreciate after. The smell of cooking apples and making lemon butter soon will fill the house with lovely cooking smells.

I've made a mental plan of how I hope my day with go. If my plans are interrupted for one reason or another I will work on accommodating the necessary changes required.

I could just twaddle off to bed, but I know if I complete a few things I will appreciate my effort later on.

Sometimes I need to encourage myself and be thankful for what I have managed to achieve.

Cheers all from Mrs. Dools

[Lolita]

Hi Doolhof

I have noticed too that I feel so much better if I get even a few things done during the day, as opposed to spending the day in bed doing nothing. It's really hard to do, but I think little things like that do make a difference.

I often find things that are generally a habit for me (e.g. gym, brushing my teeth, moisturising) are so much easier to do on my really bad days compared with self love things that I don't do on a regular basis. So I think building good habits can be really helpful.

Cheers

[Doolhof]

Hi Lolita,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts here. On my bad days I don't seem to be able to brush my teeth, my hair or shower so I chew gum, wear a hat and put on clean clothes at least. Even though I usually do those things daily, some days it seems all too hard.

Thankfully those days haven't happened for a while.

Yesterday I seemed extra tired so I didn't achieve much, today I attended a craft group, ran a few errands, came home, went for a half hour walk, picked up sticks for about an hour from the back yard and brought the washing in. I feel like I have achieved something.

Tonight I am going to attend some training for one of the volunteer groups I am involved in.

I should sleep well tonight! Hopefully...if my back behaves itself.

Cheers for now from Mrs. D.