Oh gosh E, you have to admit. If you were in a new relationship with another man, would your ex husband be popping the door while you’re at work to
put yours & his jeans & undies on the line, and wash up the wine
glasses you both drank from the night before? No. He would not!
It’s because you are with a women! It is not a legitimate relationship
to him. It's just a slumber party. And hell, it is most certainly not love in his mind! I know that Ruby
has referred to her husband choosing to stay a closeted gay man, and she
has chosen to stay married to one for her own reasons, but reducing gay people
to empty, docile bodies and ‘a sex act’, without hearts and feelings, which
straight people can experiment with when it suits them – I find that offensive.
To me, that is like saying his problems can be solved at this years SexPo or
the local Adult Shop, or a sneaky online delivery with a whole bunch of toys. No
one has to be gay at all, they just need better equipped toy chests to fill in
those missing parts and address their annoying ‘itch’, up you know where. And
as for gay people, they’re just things, animate toys. I find it really
interesting because that’s exactly how I was made to feel by the women I met
and how I was treated in the end. I got another layer of attitude on top,
because I was so much younger. Nothing about how I felt was apparently
legitimate, let alone real.
Unfortunately E, I hate to say it, but I think you already know…..it’s
not going to feel real for him and your privacy won’t be respected until there
is a financial settlement. I think it will come to that quicker than you hoped.
I think your husband is trying to be the ‘good’ citizen, if he is
Christian, I’m not sure he is, but you know what I mean. He’s been indoctrinated for goodness sake!!
Anger is for those other people over there. Not for him. He thinks he has to be
the good, dependable, likeable man, when instead he is allowed to be human. Seriously, he is going to pickle in that if he
doesn’t deal with it head-on. I would go on a very
long hike somewhere.
I guess you moved out for some privacy and freedom and you most
definitely are not free yet. As you say E 35yrs is a long time and your ex
husband must feel it is all still very fresh, and it’s only starting to sink
in. Or maybe he is waiting for you to come home! I don’t what’s he’s thinking
but if you were with another bloke his behaviour would be completely different.
Just sayin’
