relationship breakup with bipolar girlfriend

[confused68]

Hi guys.im new to this and am hoping to get some encouraging advice from those who have been through something similar.my girlfriend who has bipolar started dating april last year.All was going great and she told me about her condition straight up.Before long i met her kids 2 teenagers and her 5 year old twin girls and also her mum,dad,brother and one sister.Everything was going great,we were even going to get engaged.Things were getting serious,maybe a little too quickly.Anyway one night we arranged to meet at the pub but i decided to show up at her place and surprise her with a lift but she got really angry at me.i calmed her down and met her later at the pub but she up and left without me knowing(panic attack maybe)From this night on i noticed her moods had changed and she didnt seem to want to spend time together and she seemed to even have this aggression in her eyes.so 2 weeks later i drank with a mate and fell asleep.aAs i slept i missed 2 texts and a phone call from her.I awoke to a nasty breakup text and ended up taking a week stress leave from work.A couple of months after that we had a chat at the pub and talked about having a proper talk about reconciling.I left her but 2 hour later she caught up with me and abused me in a drunken psychotic rage.Since then her father has passed away and i have sent her the odd text and she has responded in a non aggressive way.I have most of her family on facebook and i know they really like me.I love this woman so intensely and want to contact her to have a face to face chat to reconcile.Could this work.Has anybody out there had a similar situation.I suspect she feels the same but she is very stubborn and i think i should be the one to make the move,but with the bipolar its hard to know what mood she is in.I have done a lot of research so i know what she is going through out of love and respect for her.Any advice would be much appreciated.im hoping to get encouragement.Thanks so much.

[Guest_1584]

Hey confused thanks for that , hope your right mate that'd be nice. Yeah we've had a few break ups , unfortunately it's pretty common in this stuff as she tends to go right off. Add the stress of being apart and stuff well, take's it's toll.

Mate why do ya think she might've been checking her feelings for you, did she say another time she wasn't sure or something ? Otherwise l'd be thinking more she was checking your feelings and hoping you might want it back too. Yep l vote def' go see her though, kiss her if you can and cuddle up, , see how she feels about that hopefully it's two fold eh.

Good luck , keep us posted.

rx

ps , l'm expecting an email it's gonna hold make or break , l'm really nervous.Think l'll get it tomorrow.

[confused68]

Hey random.Hows things mate?Did you hear from your gf?I sent pam a text message saying she is welcome to come over (friday night or saturday night which is tonight) and i asked her if she liked the easter gifts i bought her and the girls.I havent heard back from her yet but she just bought a new car (second hand),as youknow her dad passed away and i guess she came into some money.It does concern me that she has"nt returned my text but her communication skills are terrible.Is this a bipolar or bpd trait do you reckon?. My mate agrees with you that i should have sent her the text and that she could well rock up tonight.He also said that i am the best thing to ever happen to her (boyfriend wise) that she has had.I do still worry that she has lost the attraction for me but my mate also said that is nonsense and i should hang in there and be patient.Today would have been our 1 year anniversary together.I wonder if she would realise that.I know bipolar can affect the memory.Im guessing she is excited about her new car but she can still reply. Anyway mate not sure what to do from here on in.we"ve established there is no one else otherwise she would"nt have come to see me.Love her to bits and would do anything for her and the kids.My mate reckons she wont get too many takers because of her baggage apart from one night stands as she is a good looking girl.But anyway i will do what it takes to get her back.Hope things are going ok for you random Cheers random confused (very confused lol)

[Guest_1584]

Eh confused.

Ahh tbh , l'm pretty new at the bp-bpd stuff too , T's the only one l've ever known with the sort of things she has. But they are very forgetful and patchy , well T is, but you get use to that and have little chuckles in your head, in a nice way.

l hear ya , T is great looking girl have no problemo attracting someone new but her head would soon show up and not many would stick around for that , she'd make em work too and so the same again.

But ahhh , the easter present should melt a few hearts, tbh , l think your in with a very good shot mate hang in there. don;t worry about her reply it could come or she might be knocking on the door or God knows what hang in there keep the faith, l think she'll be back one way or other, still think that was a big thing her coming around like that.

But alas nope no word at my end as yet , not a good sign , but she does like to keep me in suspense and think about things too so , there's still a slight maybe.

l'm in two minds with some more time tbh though because she's still over seas and will be long time yet so even if we decided to get back together there's still a lot to deal with and money l don't really have to keep things going until one of us moved, so l dunno.

Not thinking it's a very good sign l haven't heard back yet though sooooo, dunno.

But good luck mate , hopefully she's warming up haha. And hey , what girl doesn't love chocolate. eh.

[confused68]

Hey random. Still no good with pam no contact. My brother showed me her facebook and she posted on facebook she was engaged to that friend of the family. He is a seek and his religion prevents him from having another woman after a marriage breakup. She posted this on March 31 the same night she came to see me and also the day before April Fools day. I think it could be a prank and neither of them have changed their relationship status on FB.my gut feeling is she may show up here at some stage. I posted on fb pictures of me and her on would have been our 1 year anniversary.her sister and daughter both liked it which also tells me she's not engaged. Anyway hope your situation has improved. Catchya later mate. Confused

[Guest_1584]

Eh confused , ah sorry to hear that mate.

Did you try getting in touch with her yet or give the presents and stuff?

Mine , ahhh, welllll, we're stuck , on each other , haha. Yep we're talking again , only just though , don't mean that in a bad way but we've had a few emails and whatsapp bc she's still in Sanfranciso so that's the thing , So we haven't wound up again yet but we probably will. Missed her so much. Thing is l'll have to go over and pretty soon if we're gonna save things , well it's expensive and l've got some paper work problems l have to sort out first too soooo, we see.

Keep ya posted and l hope things turn for ya there .

rx

[confused68]

Hey random hoow are ya mate? Hope your situation with your girl has improved.I think mine has deteriorated beyond all repair unfortunately.My so called mate started texting pam on friday night even though i asked him not to.The engagement i told you about was a prankas i thought.pam and my so called mate came back to mine for a few beers and as usual he took over the computer and the whole situation.At one point though she was sitting on my lap and calling me darlin with her arm around me like she used to. He dragged her up the local to see some patrons she hasnt seen for a while. From what he told me she told him she still has feelings for me.So they came back and he asked some of these patrons back to my place after i asked him not to,i mean this guy is really selfish and kept bagging me in front of pam.So when they got back i lost my temper with him and things got physical.After things calmed down i asked her for a chat in private but she said to me we"re not getting back together.I was really annoyed and disappointed at this plus i had a few beers so i said to her out of anger i never loved her and the relationship was the worst time of my life.I felt so bad when i saw the look on her face but i asked them both to leave. The next day he rang me and blamed me and also said she is terrified of me and wont come around again.She has since blocked me from fb but her family are still there.If old mate wasnt there i believe we would have made progress.But im not a violent person and she got the wrong impression of me.Im not real confident of a resolution to this as my behaviour was poor and i dont really think an apology will cut it.I have since blocked his number.Anyway mate hope you are doing good with your woman. Take care confused

[Guest_1584]

Hi mate , oh crikey , yeahhh, not a good night eh damn it .

So much for friends , God sorry confused, don't think anyone could blame you losing it a bit though with all that going on. lotta stupid moves on his part all over the place. l dunno why she'd even come around with him either under the circumstances you need to be alone at a time like that.

Mine ahhhh. not much better l'm afraid. We've pretty well quit the whole idea and l'm a free agent.

The distance and any solution is the main thing as she's had a huge 18mths and moved across the country, twice , sold up , ex's , you name it , she's too exhausted to come and go or move back to australia anytime soon and l can't move there , it's all hopeless , we're out of mojo with everything and there's no solutions anyway, just huge hurdles .

Soooo, l'm not going over , it's too expensive and too far if it can't even go anywhere anyway and sadly we've pretty well called it all off.

l feel all mixed , but also even a bit relieved inside and 500lb lighter atm it's all been stressing me out for so long, l don't have to money or that kind of energy to cope and deal with all the hurdles and obstacles. There's really not a dman thing we can do.

Hope your ok mate.

[confused68]

Hey random.Sorry to hear about your situation mate that sux but it may be a blessing in disguise.I had an idea which i spoke to a few people about and they all thought it was good.Im gonna write pam a letter and apologise for the other night and tell her honestly what this guy is like.Ive got 4 or 5 other good mates that i have never clashed with because they dont interfere.This ex mate ruined my last relationship by sending my then girlfriend dirty texts about us and as i found out the other day as i spoke to my previous ex that he said dirty things about her daughters. I dont know if this letter will work random but im gonna try as i have nothing to lose and im gonna try to expose this creep for what he is.Im also gonna state she is welcome around here anytime and doesnt have to worry about her safety.If he wasnt here that night i have no doubt me and pammy would have made huge progress.Ive got nothing to lose so im gonna give it a crack.This guy is manipulative and controlling.All my mates,brother and workmates know im not violent and have always said this guy is trouble.anyway random wish me luck and i hope you"re all good mate. confused(and betrayed)

[Guest_1584]

Well good for you mate hell yeah , if you still feel the same give it a go,the worst she can do is call you a few names and tell you to take a hike.

But yaknow l was gonna suggest something like that actually because look ,l know things turned to shyt in a big way butttt. It was all on him and he's obviously been playing her so who knows why she was really even with him or went with him again later. He's a manipulator and besides , she must've felt something the way he was stirring up crap with you .

Good luck mate , and if it doesn't work then at least you know you tried , but what if it does.

All the best and look forward to hearing how things went, mind you it might take awhile but sometimes well , time can work mericals right.

rx

[confused68]

Hey random hows things mate?Long time no hear.Hope all is good with you. Have you heard from your lady recently?I havent sent that letter to pam yet.One minute i think its a great idea then i chicken out thinking it could do more damage.Most people i talk to think its a good idea. I spoke to my sister who has a degree in psychology and her first question was is he gay?which may explain why he wants pam and also a previous gf out the way.She said maybe he is gay and doesnt know it himself yet.The other reason she said is he could be a sociopath which would explain his manipulating ,controlling behavior also fabricating untrue stories about people.I find it really annoying how he was nice to pams face and behind her back he would say to me she"s not a mothers arse or she"s a druggo or a skank or he even called her unhigenic. Hey mate do you think even though she blocked and unfriended me from facebook,but her brother,mother.sister and daughter are still friends is that a good sign maybe?I did research online about the things we angrily said to each other (her/we"re not getting back together) (me/i never loved you and the relationship was the worst time of my life).i never meant what i said and its suggested that neither did she.He told me she said to him she still had feelings for me but i could see that otherwise she wouldnt have come to see me after 8 months.I dont think this clown is interested in her but just wanted her out of the way.Anyway i dont see the letter doing any harm maybe more good. Cheers for listening random take care Confused