relationship breakup with bipolar girlfriend

[confused68]

Hi guys.im new to this and am hoping to get some encouraging advice from those who have been through something similar.my girlfriend who has bipolar started dating april last year.All was going great and she told me about her condition straight up.Before long i met her kids 2 teenagers and her 5 year old twin girls and also her mum,dad,brother and one sister.Everything was going great,we were even going to get engaged.Things were getting serious,maybe a little too quickly.Anyway one night we arranged to meet at the pub but i decided to show up at her place and surprise her with a lift but she got really angry at me.i calmed her down and met her later at the pub but she up and left without me knowing(panic attack maybe)From this night on i noticed her moods had changed and she didnt seem to want to spend time together and she seemed to even have this aggression in her eyes.so 2 weeks later i drank with a mate and fell asleep.aAs i slept i missed 2 texts and a phone call from her.I awoke to a nasty breakup text and ended up taking a week stress leave from work.A couple of months after that we had a chat at the pub and talked about having a proper talk about reconciling.I left her but 2 hour later she caught up with me and abused me in a drunken psychotic rage.Since then her father has passed away and i have sent her the odd text and she has responded in a non aggressive way.I have most of her family on facebook and i know they really like me.I love this woman so intensely and want to contact her to have a face to face chat to reconcile.Could this work.Has anybody out there had a similar situation.I suspect she feels the same but she is very stubborn and i think i should be the one to make the move,but with the bipolar its hard to know what mood she is in.I have done a lot of research so i know what she is going through out of love and respect for her.Any advice would be much appreciated.im hoping to get encouragement.Thanks so much.

[Guest_1584]

HI Jsua.

Really interesting what you've written but l'm wondering is that from a book , or fantasy, or your reality and experience . lt's just that it all sound pretty dreamy and unrealistic if my ex is anything to go by. l mean the goods you make sound almost romanticized - or maybe for your situation if there was one were true and real , l'd love to know actually if you feel like going into it. But yeah there were glimpses of things like that with my ex on her highs , most def' , as long as your adoration just kept of flowing in like floods and of course you expected nothing and got nothing for it mostly , or your love slashed in seconds.

So mine , yeah , glimpses sure but you usually paid very dearly for them . And l chuckled to myself reading mental or physical support may bot happen yep , you aren't wrong , but she must have it all , endlessly and then some, or again you are slashed , well actually you'll b slashed anyway , and expect likely nothing in return when you need it except fruitless frustration, lots and lots of it . And the same for any interest in you , forget that , in must be all about her.

Sooo, l'm not too sure . l'm all for being positive about it and supporting these kinds of issues in your partner, seeing the goods , buttttt- is that even so selflessly possible l found in reality long term , well, a very slim maybe , if you don't mind getting nothing in return the rest of your days and torn to pieces a few times a mth. l know you mentioned boundaries , which usually worked for a wk or two , until she'd just devise new ways of turning them on their head , and the next ones and next. But as you stated , it all depends too l guess on that individual and degree of their instability perhaps

rx

[Just Ken]

Anyone with bipolar will understand what is happening here. Being a little high feels great and people with it come across as cheerful and friendly. The bad news is that if it continues especially if the high is more extreme, then it becomes tiring. You are irritable and not very nice at all. For anyone with bipolar it is essential that their medications are managed properly and they understand their limitations. By that I mean getting enough sleep and avoiding stressful experiences. One thing that usually helps both depression and hypomania is the good old nap.

Unfortunately telling someone who is hypomania that they need to manage their bipolar better is unlikely to be productive. Also I found that the two psychologists I saw didn't seem to understand bipolar.

[Gelesa]

Here I found a lot of useful info. Thanks a lot.

[Guest_1584]

Yeah thanks ken , nicely explained geez l get like that myself only not as extreme .

[Guest_3256]

Hi my friend.

Interesting reply.

I would like to add that Bipolar (personality) is a "behavioral" difficulty. It doesn't make anyone a bad person, It doesn't mean you have a health issue, however, it does mean that one may have difficulties managing their moods/ personality in a healthy an appropriate manner and a prime example is a child who pulls a tantrum when they don't get what they want. This behaviour then continues (due to parental neglect) until adulthood where the person believes only what they know. It is not 100% medically and scientifically understood so there is still so much that people need to understand. Personality issues can always be resolved but can only be done, once the person accepts that they are not performing to their best and are willing to become a healthier person.

So for people who struggle with others who have these 'experiences' we are all human, there is no right or wrong - we chose to live our lives the way we want and no one can control that.