Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

Beth27 Moral conflict
  • replies: 3

Hi, I have been best friends with this guy since we were young kids and it’s been over 20 years of friendship, we have always had great profound love for one another and we were each other’s first loves. We have always talked on and off for our lives... View more

Hi, I have been best friends with this guy since we were young kids and it’s been over 20 years of friendship, we have always had great profound love for one another and we were each other’s first loves. We have always talked on and off for our lives but the timing to start a serious relationship was always off. My issue is that I have been dating a wonderful man for 3 years, we started dating less than a month after I got out of a very toxic relationship, it’s been a great relationship apart from feeling like I’m not ready to truely commit, I love him dearly but he’s addicted to work and I’m worried about moving in with him (bringing my two kids) and since the coronavirus restrictions started I haven’t seen him much at all but the feelings started before this, I’ve been trying to juggle kids and study plus this relationship that seems to be the same stuff all the time no maker how we trying to spice it up.bi truely love him but I’m concerned about taking that next step with someone that may not be compatible. And I’ve recently started talking more with my childhood best friend again and it seems to me that this is another bad timing situation... I really want to be with my partner but there’s a huge pull to try and see if the childhood friend and I could have something more (something both of us want) but I’m so confused about what to do, it’s eating me inside and it’s becoming overwhelming, I honestly just want to throw my hands up and run from all my expectations as an adult. please help I’m really not sure what I’m meant to be doing

modus Coping without my kids
  • replies: 2

Hi I have recently seperated from my wife of 20 years. We have 2 children 15 and 9. For the last 3 years i suffer from anniexty and mild depression. Im struggling with the shock of not being around my kids all the time. The thought of not seeing them... View more

Hi I have recently seperated from my wife of 20 years. We have 2 children 15 and 9. For the last 3 years i suffer from anniexty and mild depression. Im struggling with the shock of not being around my kids all the time. The thought of not seeing them as much really hurts me. Me and my wife are still friends so seeeing the kids is not an issue. Im so scared to lose the relationship i have with them. Sorry this is all new to me and has really got me down. Thanks

Nikky1111 Long distance relationship issues
  • replies: 3

Hi I have been in a really amazing loving relationship for about 5 months now. We live about 1 hour and 15 minutes apart from each other so it's not too impossible and we are seeing each other every weekend at a minimum one of the weekend days but us... View more

Hi I have been in a really amazing loving relationship for about 5 months now. We live about 1 hour and 15 minutes apart from each other so it's not too impossible and we are seeing each other every weekend at a minimum one of the weekend days but usually 2. The only problem is. I work some weekends either a Saturday or a Sunday shift and I finish early at 2pm so I have most the arvo free to do things.. so when my boyfriend comes to my place say a Friday night and stays and I have to work say a Saturday or Sunday he will just chill at mine till I come home and be productive like study or something and just relax. Then we usually have the whole arvo and next day free together to have fun. So it's been working quite ok like this. But. On the other hand. When it comes to me being able to visit him, he has not yet moved out of home and his parents are very old style Christians that believe in no sex before marriage so they will not allow me to stay at his house in his room even tho we are both of adult age. So if I go up to visit him. I always have to drive all the way home the same day because I can't stay. It can be hard because if he has other commitments that weekend and I can only drive up to see him for one day, we have no private space to be able to be intimate together and have cuddles or anything. And that may be our only contact for the entire week. Now we just got news that he will be starting to work Saturdays just for a half day shift, soon, and this is going to limit our time together even more. He won't be able to drive down to my place on a Friday night and if I'm working the Sunday I doubt he would want to come down the Saturday and then have to wait for me at work on the Sunday just for me to get home so we can spend some time together. I want to ask him if down the track if he would consider moving out of his parents house and flat with some mates or just general flat mates so he can have his freedom and privacy and allow space for us to have our relationship up where he lives as well. That way I can stay up there and work around his work commitments also... I am scared of putting pressure on him by asking but it is extremely important to me that we have enough time together and this seems like the only logical and healthy step forward..

coun_tess Dealing (or not) with resentment
  • replies: 1

Hi. I've just joined this forum. I was looking at BB for a work-related issue and thought I'd give it a try. I'm trying to deal with real anger and resentment issues I have towards my partner. I suffer from anxiety and have been on meds before but th... View more

Hi. I've just joined this forum. I was looking at BB for a work-related issue and thought I'd give it a try. I'm trying to deal with real anger and resentment issues I have towards my partner. I suffer from anxiety and have been on meds before but this is different. Some days I think we're going OK but then there's a comment or something happens and all the things he's done to get us where we are now come flooding back and I shut down. He's just been diagnosed with moderate/severe depression and he's finally on the medication dose that makes a difference. But I had to push him to get them. The doc made a great comment. He said... it's not your fault you're suffering from depression, but it is your fault if you don't do anything about it. I resent the fact I had to push him, I resent he hasn't done anything to better himself - just waited for the meds to work, I resent the fact he doesn't talk about anything because he "doesn't like confrontation", I resent the fact I had to make a life-changing decision in Jan and deal with the consequences on my own, I resent the fact he expects everything from me but when I need him the most he's never there. And I'm angry at myself for getting myself into this. And y'know what. I'm sick of the crap. I'm 42 and if we didn't have a child I'd be long gone. But we do and there's nowhere for me to go unless I quit work and haul her out of school. He doesn't parent anyway - more like babysits. He doesn't want to do relationship counselling. It's like talking to a wall. I'm sure there are ways I can deal with it better but it's got to a point where it's so overwhelming that I just want out. I'd have to break my little girl's heart. I sound like a complete bitch but it's just getting harder and harder to pull myself out of this consuming ball of anger.

Mememo I need a bit of help
  • replies: 1

Hello, I am a newbie here and I would love some advice or stories of similar life experiences and how you cope... I don’t know where to begin. I have a lot of negativity surrounding me both internally from negative thoughts and from external people i... View more

Hello, I am a newbie here and I would love some advice or stories of similar life experiences and how you cope... I don’t know where to begin. I have a lot of negativity surrounding me both internally from negative thoughts and from external people in my life. I have started to be able to cope better by doing yoga and art but it’s still really difficult. I had a psychotic episode around Christmas time after I was physically assaulted, among other things that happened. I have put on quite a bit of weight and my self esteem is so bad now. My boyfriend doesn’t find me attractive and won’t sleep with me. He’s obviously having an affair because he’s out nearly every night. My sister has admitted that she slept with him recently and now she keeps accusing me of having revenge sex with her boyfriend (untrue btw). My house mates I think are always talking about me, this could be paranoia because they are quite lovely but I feel they’re covering for my boyfriend sleeping around. I just want to feel good again and like the old self I was. Quite a long thread, sorry bout that, but any feedback, advice or similar experience would be great

Lostlady83 In a long term relationship with a male feeling that I'm a lesbian.
  • replies: 3

I have been in a relationship with a male for 18yrs I feel that I would rather be with a female. I do not have any sexual disire for my male partner and haven't in a long time. I have been attracted to females all my life and have experienced female ... View more

I have been in a relationship with a male for 18yrs I feel that I would rather be with a female. I do not have any sexual disire for my male partner and haven't in a long time. I have been attracted to females all my life and have experienced female intamicey many times and feel I rather be with a female I am scared to end my long term relationship to persue a relationship with a female.

Epip23 Hi Everyone
  • replies: 7

Hi I am here hoping to find people to talk to. With every year older I get, I also get more isolated and lonely. It feels like my problems are only getting worse with time, no matter how hard I try. It’s at the point now where I’m becoming exhausted.... View more

Hi I am here hoping to find people to talk to. With every year older I get, I also get more isolated and lonely. It feels like my problems are only getting worse with time, no matter how hard I try. It’s at the point now where I’m becoming exhausted. I’m so lonely and so alone. I only have 2 people in my life and I’m not able to lean on those people for various reasons. Sometimes I feel like I’m so used to being alone that I’m becoming comfortable with it and other times it hurts a lot. I grew up in a traumatic environment where I was not safe, loved or wanted, and it feels like this is just affecting me more and more the older I get. The loneliness causes me to reach out to people I already know are toxic, just so I don’t have to be lonely, and of course it always ends badly.

Mealiesmum19 Newbie
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone, by the title I'm sure you can tell I'm new here. I am hoping to find others who have been through what I'm going through and have come out or people who can just relate. so a bit of back story, my whole 2017 and part of 2018 is a huge bl... View more

Hi everyone, by the title I'm sure you can tell I'm new here. I am hoping to find others who have been through what I'm going through and have come out or people who can just relate. so a bit of back story, my whole 2017 and part of 2018 is a huge blur because I was abusing alcohol quite heavily. I discovered I was pregnant in 2018 and quit cold-turkey. everything has been going well since then until recently. I gave birth to a healthy baby girl and have been happier than I can remember ever being, however, over the last month or so, I've noticed myself wanting to drink more and more, I have no energy and always feel guilty about never really wanting to play with my daughter. my partner and I had just started talking about having our second baby but the thought of sex is so offputting. I want to have more babies but I just wish that wasn't necessary. I'm not sure where all these feelings are coming from and I just really want to know that I'm not alone. I struggle talking to loved ones about this although I have talked it through with my partner, somehow talking to strangers on the internet seems easier. I'm sorry if this all came out in a jumble and is hard to follow.

timble9 Two year relationship ending, heartbroken and struggling to cope with guilt/anxiety.
  • replies: 1

Coronavirus times have been hard for everyone, particularly my girlfriend of two who had to quit her jobs and isolate herself for two months out of fear of bringing the illness home to her elderly parents. We had been dating for two years, meeting at... View more

Coronavirus times have been hard for everyone, particularly my girlfriend of two who had to quit her jobs and isolate herself for two months out of fear of bringing the illness home to her elderly parents. We had been dating for two years, meeting at our university course studying nursing and were very in sync and happy with one another. During quarantine I wasn't able to see her physically for 2 months. It killed me, but I understood and respected her need to isolate herself. We talked twice a day on the phone/skype and I was always there to support her through this time. When we finally reunited last week, she said that her time in isolation had made her question our relationship, her feelings had changed and she wanted to be friends. She said that for so long she has thought that she loved me so much more than I loved her and that she had finally reached her breaking point. I was shocked and excused myself to go home and process my own thoughts and she did a complete 180, begged me to stay, cried, said she was confused and didn't want me to leave. I told her we both needed some time to think about what we want and left. I met up with her again two days later after some introspection and confessed that I may have not been as forthcoming with how much I loved her, how much she meant to me and how I wanted a future together. This seemed to put her mind at ease and things went back to normal that day. We hung out, were laughing, cuddling, kissing and seemed like a couple again. When I went to leave, she said she wanted a few more days to think and process her thoughts as she wanted to break up, but after everything I told her she was confused about what she wants. I agreed to give her some time to think. Three days of me respecting her space (it was torturous not knowing where we stood) and I text her to check in and ask how she is and she said she would call me later that night. She calls me six hours later, acting very cold and says with much regret she wants to break up and that was the end of it. I'm so heartbroken. I really wanted to make it work and she has always stressed the importance of communication and fighting for a relationship, but she left me in the dark about how she was struggling with doubts that I didn't love her, which culminated to her ending the relationship. I've been trying to focus on my work and nursing, but since we've always bounced ideas off eachother about concepts and care plans, everything just reminds me of her.

Jacobb What is wrong with my sister and how do I get her to seek help?
  • replies: 4

For half of her life my sister has been smoking weed, I personally don't have much of an issue with people smoking weed but she feels like she needs to be high ALL the time. Lately I've started to see a side of her that worries me, she talks to herse... View more

For half of her life my sister has been smoking weed, I personally don't have much of an issue with people smoking weed but she feels like she needs to be high ALL the time. Lately I've started to see a side of her that worries me, she talks to herself out loud, over analyses the psychology of the most simple things to an excessive degree, has mental breakdowns where she acts hysterical and commonly repeats the same phrases or words over and over, she's also recently started expressing very real suicidal thoughts. I've asked her to seek help from a psychologist or psychiatrist but she refuses to as she believes weed is the only treatment she needs. Does this behaviour match any specific mental or psychological disorders? What sort of help or treatment does she need and how do I get her to seek it? Maybe she will agree to see a specialist if I can show her the similarities between the way she has been acting and the symptoms of what you guys believe is causing this behaviour.