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In a long term relationship with a male feeling that I'm a lesbian.

Community Member

I have been in a relationship with a male for 18yrs

I feel that I would rather be with a female.

I do not have any sexual disire for my male partner and haven't in a long time.

I have been attracted to females all my life and have experienced female intamicey many times and feel I rather be with a female

I am scared to end my long term relationship to persue a relationship with a female.

3 Replies 3

Community Member
Has anyone been in this situation. Any help with what I should do.

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi Lostlady,

I can sense how confused, lost & conflicted you must be feeling. There must be a whirlwind of emotions...it’s a lot to process, & there’s a lot to think about...

I have an offline friend who struggled with his sexuality for years. The circumstances were different to yours though. He had a couple of relationships with women before committing to a man, & they’re happily together now in a long-term relationship 🙂

I realise it’s a very tricky & emotional situation for you. There are no right or wrong decisions, but I suppose it’s about doing what works for your situation & doing what you feel comfortable doing...

Feel free to write in any time to offload your feelings, chat or connect. There’s no pressure to write of course, but just know that this is a safe space for you 🙂

Thinking of you...I know you’re going through a rough time.

Kindness & care,


Community Member
theres an lgbt board down in the "people like me section". sexuality and gender identity. i think i've seen folks with that story before you would probably have better luck there