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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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StaticGhost I can't cope while my boyfriend is away.
  • replies: 1

I have severe separation anxiety with my boyfriend, whenever he has to leave me, I get extremely depressed. After finding out he is leaving I immediately start to breakdown. I begin screaming my lungs out and crying uncontrollably. This continues on ... View more

I have severe separation anxiety with my boyfriend, whenever he has to leave me, I get extremely depressed. After finding out he is leaving I immediately start to breakdown. I begin screaming my lungs out and crying uncontrollably. This continues on for an extremely long time. Ever since I was little I've always sort of clung to people, I would cling to my friends at school, my parents, my sisters, and now with my boyfriend. I have a huge fear of abandonment and have been abandoned in the past by one of my friends, this is what triggered my fear and depression. I can't live like this anymore, I feel like this is putting a strain on my relationship with my boyfriend. I love my boyfriend so much but right now, he is the only person I feel comfortable around and that just feels wrong. I never spend time with anyone else because I only want to be around him. It's like I have an obsession with him. Things can't go on like this.

ineedmyfamily i feel like i cant cope i need serious help
  • replies: 1

i dont even know where to begin i have had negative from my partner who is in family court with her ex partner. we got together as a couple almost immidiatly and i know it has made him try and distrupt our lives through munipulation and family court.... View more

i dont even know where to begin i have had negative from my partner who is in family court with her ex partner. we got together as a couple almost immidiatly and i know it has made him try and distrupt our lives through munipulation and family court. we have just had an absolutly beautiful baby girl absolultly fills my heart. Today my partner was forced to sign a bind restricting me from talking to my partners kids at all who are 7 and 10 both girls. the only time i can see my daughter is every second friday night cause my partners ex refuses to want anymore time hense to keep my partner from fines she cant afford and be charged with contempt of court i will be homeless. i feel like im going to lose that time she wil forget who her dad is

Lost_star Sexless marriage - trigger warning (sexual abuse)
  • replies: 2

Hi, I've been married for 20yrs. My husband and I had a great sex life until we got married. He was the always too tired. He stopped kissing me, other than a hello or goodbye peck. He rejected all forms of my seduction or initiatives of sex. I began ... View more

Hi, I've been married for 20yrs. My husband and I had a great sex life until we got married. He was the always too tired. He stopped kissing me, other than a hello or goodbye peck. He rejected all forms of my seduction or initiatives of sex. I began to get depressed. My history with sex has been difficult. Raped at age 13, married at 20, raped and abused through 10yr marriage, then meeting the most amazing man who made love so beautifully..getting married to him..then here I am. I just don't know what to do any more.

Mark247 Stuck in an abusive home
  • replies: 24

After a long abusive marriage I have managed to separate from my wife. Unfortunately I am now stuck in the same house with her. No physical abuse, but emotional, psychological and financial abuse. We cannot agree on a property settlement and she has ... View more

After a long abusive marriage I have managed to separate from my wife. Unfortunately I am now stuck in the same house with her. No physical abuse, but emotional, psychological and financial abuse. We cannot agree on a property settlement and she has all our money so I can't afford to move out unless I agree to her terms, which are unfair and she knows it. She knows I can't leave. I have a solicitor, but it will take 12 to 18 months to drag her through the court. Apart from the financial cost, I cannot imagine how I will cope with 18 months of this. I am already fearful that my life is at risk. My solicitor says that the Family Court won't care about the abuse, and besides it is too hard to prove anyway. I have tried many agencies and they all agree that the abuse should come into it, but I keep hitting dead ends. If I were female with bruises I would have a case. There appear to be very few avenues for men. Help!

fireheartt My Partner shuts me out whenever he feels low about himself.
  • replies: 2

I've been with my partner for almost a year now, in a nutshell our relationships is really good, we spend a lot of time together, we have fun, we're chill and easy going and all in all its good, we've had communication issues before but we both agree... View more

I've been with my partner for almost a year now, in a nutshell our relationships is really good, we spend a lot of time together, we have fun, we're chill and easy going and all in all its good, we've had communication issues before but we both agreed to try to be better, we don't have any arguments, any disagreements we have we sit and talk through it, we don't raise our voices at each other, we just talk it out and we both love each other deeply. In the year we've been together there have been 3 instances where he has shut me out. The first time I had told him something that I found out about myself and he freaked out and needed time and space away from me, the second he felt bad about himself, he didn't understand how i could love a person like him and he shut me out and needed space and then there is this time. When he gets to a certain point he tends to want to run, break up, because he thinks I deserve better and it hurts me because it feels like for him its easier to just leave than to want to be better, then to want more, it's easier for him to be alone so that's what he keeps falling back to. This 3rd instance is worst, he feels horrible about himself and disappointed of what he had done and the look on his face the next day was of utter defeat and he thinks its better if we break up, I don't want him to dig himself into a hole and stay there because it's better to be alone and his done it all his life, I'm his partner and I want to stand by him and work through things with him, but he won't let me in, he keeps shutting me out as if any decisions or emotions he has only affect him and only his wishes needs to be respected and not mine. I don't know what to do or how much time he needs, he says he needs to think things through but I worry if given to much time the negative thoughts his having will fester and grow into something much worst, and all of this is very difficult for me, I can't manage to do anything my heart feels heavy.

Orange_Rose My husband wants to transition into a woman
  • replies: 3

I have been married for 6 years. 2 months ago my husband told me he had only recently worked out he should have been born a woman. He said the only reason he was able to understand this feeling was because he was so happy with life (even though he ha... View more

I have been married for 6 years. 2 months ago my husband told me he had only recently worked out he should have been born a woman. He said the only reason he was able to understand this feeling was because he was so happy with life (even though he has depression). He said he wanted to stay with me. I did not react well. I became someone I didn't know. For almost 2 months we had constant fights. I yelled at him and said some very horrible things. He swore at me, he started to become self absorbed, distant and disengaged. I went to counselling and as per advice created boundaries. He got upset with boundaries, so we stopped. Before this, our marriage was full of love, honesty, support, loyalty, kindness and laughter. We constantly joked we were still in the honeymoon phase. We brought out the best in each other. His family even said that before me he was very sad, lonely and quiet. I never knew that man. I helped build his confidence. 2 days after Christmas he moved out because he said he needed a break. We have only spoken a couple of times since and after our last conversation he said he felt ambushed even though it was only about our finances during the break. Going forward he has asked I text him what I want to talk about first before we have a call the following day. He wants time to consider his response. Seeing me isn't going to help. He said he no longer feels the same about me as when we first met and at this point, he thinks he doesn't want to be married to me however given we have both been through a very emotional time he doesn't want to make a rash unwise decision. The break will continue until he has spoken with his psychiatrist (which may take several few weeks). After he left, I wrote him a letter apologising for everything I said and that I loved him and I think I could stay with him as a woman (despite the fact I'm straight). I feel like I have done everything I can to take responsibility for my actions. He has not shown any remorse. He has been hypocritical with his demands (i.e. I have to instantly accept who he is but he can't accept who I am at my worst) and has shut me out. I love him and want to work this out. I don't know what to do. 6 years of joy apparently means nothing nor does for better or worse. I think he believes if you don't have butterflies in your stomach for a fleeting moment, you no longer love that person. This has been our first major issue. We have no kids but intended to start IVF (his sperm was the issue).

Kp88 I need my brother to move out
  • replies: 3

So my brother moved in to my garage last feb, he was supposed to only live there for 2 months until he got a job, some savings and another place to live. Its been almost a year and he has had no job interviews and wastes his money on junk. Its time f... View more

So my brother moved in to my garage last feb, he was supposed to only live there for 2 months until he got a job, some savings and another place to live. Its been almost a year and he has had no job interviews and wastes his money on junk. Its time for him to move, him living with me could cause issues with the house im planning on building(i wont go into details) and he asks me for money even tho i need that for my house. how do i get him to leave and make sure he doesnt end up on the street? He makes no effort to find a job. I cant keep stressing about this anymore

Azz77 Strict Parents
  • replies: 4

I've been struggling from depression and anxiety, everyday seems miserable and it's like my life is stuck on repeat. I can't handle my parents anymore and i don't know how to cope, they're the type of people to get a drunk a lot meaning they go out a... View more

I've been struggling from depression and anxiety, everyday seems miserable and it's like my life is stuck on repeat. I can't handle my parents anymore and i don't know how to cope, they're the type of people to get a drunk a lot meaning they go out a lot so they're barely home, and once they come home it's not pleasant. I'm always stuck believing that all the stuff they say is true and that they really don't want me and would be better off without me, they're not my biological parents but i've been living with them for a long time, I'm nearly 16 and home is like hell for me and ik i don't have it as bad as others. But I can't keep living like this anymore, i'm constantly told that i'm a crappy child and don't care what they have to say, when I barely say anything at all nor do anything that is classified as being disrespectful, i constantly get into arguments with my parents, constantly told that I am breaking both of them apart and it's all my fault. I'm not allowed most things teenagers have and do most days of the week, and every time I go hang out with my group of friends i'm always told that they'll bring me undone, most of my group consists of girls and two boys, and my parents can't see past that, i'm constantly being told that the girls in the group will ditch me when they get a chance and won't have my back when I'm in need of help, i'm sick of being told these things I'm so sick of being told that I need more male friends as I'm a boy and I have to leave my friends to find other ones, i'm so sick of living at home and so sick of the lies i'm constantly being told, nothing ever good happens around them. I'm constantly told to smile and I just can't fake it anymore, I can't keep being told that they don't need me and if I don't like their rules the front door is right there. My curfew is 5pm, and I'm not allowed out if they can't guarantee they can get me home because they'll be drunk and that's so annoying how they can't do something for their son for once. I also have a job and i'm threatened that I'll have to resign because they don't like the hours I work and they can't pick me up sober from work. How do I live with parents that control more things than I've stated and crap talk me to their friends when I don't do anything sinister? Like sure i've done things they don't like but I keep in mind what I am and am not allowed to do and I don't break their rules but I'm constantly told I do... Thanks for reading, hope you have a fantastic week

Shaytana Toxic family
  • replies: 7

Hi Reading the posts i am not alone. Ive struggled with my MH although im a MH nurse and therapist. I fly into health to only meet my reality and scare anxiety sleepless nights come back. not knowing who i am, because i stopped engaging in life and d... View more

Hi Reading the posts i am not alone. Ive struggled with my MH although im a MH nurse and therapist. I fly into health to only meet my reality and scare anxiety sleepless nights come back. not knowing who i am, because i stopped engaging in life and disconnecting from emotion i run in bland neutral as i dont know how to trust me, my mother gaslighted me seporated off each family nember and scapegoated me. I was hit ridiculed set up to fail each day of my life, i left the UK and i dived into a pit of depression Finding female friends that matched my mother. Wolves in my head ripping at any self confidence, im exhausted.. but now ready to own my stuff. My mood swings my voice. My uniqueness and my anger. The only thing im scared of is meeting me again after throwing myself away. Wish me luck.

Brent_and_Kate Long distance
  • replies: 4

My partner and I live an hours drive from each other. He works even further away and is building a house where he works. I currently rent with 2 housemates and he is living at home at the moment with his parents. We both work full time and he has oth... View more

My partner and I live an hours drive from each other. He works even further away and is building a house where he works. I currently rent with 2 housemates and he is living at home at the moment with his parents. We both work full time and he has other activities after work during the week and on Saturday. My family all live 2 hours away in the other direction. We are struggling with not seeing each other and I am personally feel we should live together, but neither of us want to change jobs and move. We see each other on Tuesday when I drive up to see him, Wednesday when he comes down to me and on the weekends usually alternating. We are both very tired after work as well being new grads. My partner did live in the same area last year when we were studying but moved back home for his job. one issue for me is that he lives with his mum and dad, and his mum does a lot for him. we both also were brought up differently, my experience of love and relationships is very different to his. My parents fought, argued, but are good at compromising and also come to a solution. They show affection and my sister and I always knew how much they love each other. My parents have a very equal partnership and always talk things out and do not fall into specific gender roles. My partners parents are pretty much the opposite; they do not show affection and probably don’t love each other and his father has had a stroke and his mother basically spends her time looking after him and the family as she has done for all her married life. He doesn’t expect to have a relationship like his parents or follow gender norms, but he hasn’t been modelled effective communication. I communicate and deal with issues quite differently to my partner. I’m not sure he actually knows how to show his love to me. I know he loves me Very much but he struggles to show it and communicate. I’d don’t think he knows what to do in a relationship. I feel I have had to make most of the sacrifices so far. I don’t feel like a priority in his life My partner feels like we are drifting apart and struggling more every week with the distance. He also feels that he is stealing My time by asking me to travel for the relationship. He feels selfish playing the sports he loves

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