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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Kooka51 Getting back up
  • replies: 1

Complex one... how do you get out of a hole that gets bigger because you cant do anything right... or are not trusted. Own a pub with my partner... she not interested in business now for her reasons so have been running it by myself.... but get criti... View more

Complex one... how do you get out of a hole that gets bigger because you cant do anything right... or are not trusted. Own a pub with my partner... she not interested in business now for her reasons so have been running it by myself.... but get criticised by her every day.... no matter what i do or dont do.... even by her snobby friends......... just at point now had enough...

TieFather *Trigger warning* Tough times ahead with a blended family
  • replies: 8

Hi all, New here, but really struggling and have little to no family or freinds to turn to for advice. My wife and i have been together for over 10 years. I came into this relationship knowing my now wife had 2 children of her own. 14 11 And now have... View more

Hi all, New here, but really struggling and have little to no family or freinds to turn to for advice. My wife and i have been together for over 10 years. I came into this relationship knowing my now wife had 2 children of her own. 14 11 And now have two children of our own. 7 2 We both have been through so much. Rough childhoods, Depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety family death. Just to start the list. We have both seen psychologist together and individually. I honestly have the upmost respect for my wife. Shes an amazing woman. I do know my acyion in the past have contributed to what im now facing, but as a new step dad that had come out of an abusive childhood (psychologist level) my parenting style never match with what i wanted. I did smake i did yell and i am regretfull for it. I know it was wrong but it was how i was raised and alot of the time its what i fell on as disilplin. Ive been and seen people for it and right now even tho professionals scoff when told (as in they say i dont need to) im volunteering for a behavioral change program. Im not my mother! Lately i have been struggling with my stepson and it has been getting worse. I saw a psychologist as i realised alot of my issues with him were my own. But also i felt my wife had been pearenting him out of guilt and become blind to what he was doing. Skipping school. Brought drugs to our house. Stealling my wifes smokes. Being rude and disrespectful to me. Whenever id bring it up my wife would turn it on me saying i needed to understand what he had gone through and adjust my opinions to suit. But i felt he started to use it as an excuse to get away with things. As he would go to his mother everytime i put my foot down. To which i would get spoken to by my wife, in front of him. And any attempt to discuss how i felt would result in an argument, where it would end up most of the time with me apologising. My wife and i are really drifting apart

Littlebluescent Feelings for someone in a relationship
  • replies: 3

Hi, I've known this person for about a year now and we seem to have a lot of compatibility and chemistry. I'll admit, when I first met them, I did feel an attraction, but by no means thought it would turn into feelings being developed. After getting ... View more

Hi, I've known this person for about a year now and we seem to have a lot of compatibility and chemistry. I'll admit, when I first met them, I did feel an attraction, but by no means thought it would turn into feelings being developed. After getting to know them a bit more, I discovered we share a lot of the same values, same interests and similar desires in life. I genuinely like them as a friend and they have helped me build a lot of confidence and just an all round warm person to be around. Of course, I'm in no place to tell them how I feel, because they are in a relationship. I'm in no hurry to enter a relationship right now, as I am happy being single, so it's not a matter of feeling lonely. It is just a genuine connection. I guess I just want to know if anyone else has been in this situation and if there's any advice on how to keep my feelings at bay. Thank you.

Guest_1973 Scared to end my 22yr marriage
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I have been married for 22years have 2 teenagers, and for many years I have longed to be single..even though I love my husband, i am.not in love with him. For many years of our marriage he drank a lot, which made me resent him. This caused ma... View more

Hi all, I have been married for 22years have 2 teenagers, and for many years I have longed to be single..even though I love my husband, i am.not in love with him. For many years of our marriage he drank a lot, which made me resent him. This caused massive issues together with his lack Of parenting. But I hung in there, and slowly he cut back On his drinking and stopped seeing a lot of his mates, Which used to.come over as well. Even though he has changed his life, I still have thoughts Of being on my own. I am with him for his happiness As I'm.petrified how he'll cope if I tell him I want to separate. Last 2 years our arguments have been massive to arguing About kids, and disagreeing about everything. This affected my kids hearing Us argue so much, and i feel so bad about this. Last time we argued was a month ago. Even tho things Are ok now deep down i want out. I have tried to be happy For everyone's sake, and also.im a religious person too which has stopped me goin down that path. The thought of separating is overwhelming, and too stressful. I am now used to the fact I will be with my hubby forever But don't love him.. Any advice will be great guys. Thank you.

MissMel Feels like im drowning
  • replies: 24

Hi everyone, My partner and I have been together for 16 years. We had a baby young, and our issues started then. We have always pushed through our issues, we never resolve anything and just move on. We bought a house together 8 years ago, and then sh... View more

Hi everyone, My partner and I have been together for 16 years. We had a baby young, and our issues started then. We have always pushed through our issues, we never resolve anything and just move on. We bought a house together 8 years ago, and then shortly after he started having issues with his back. His back causes him ALOT of pain, which makes him angry. Door slamming, yelling, and swearing are common our house. Our house is falling apart, and his back is always the reason things don't get done. Our huge yard is out of control and his family has offered to help clean it up, but he refuses. When approached about the house, he tells me that he needs me to help get it all done. But I am overwhelmed with working full time, doing all the cooking and the cleaning. When I explain that to him, he says he is trying to help around the house, but the most he can do is feeding the pets because everything else hurts his back. Im left feeling like an unappreciated maid. Ive been sleeping in the lounge for months. We have had some huge fights, and some things have been said that make me feel lower than ever. He has told me that im a bad person, that im lazy and that he regrets telling people that im supportive partner. Its also become clear that he is holding onto a night from 14 years ago when we were drunken kids, I broke up with him and was with someone else. We got back together a couple weeks later, but its still being brought up 14 years later. We both have depression and anxiety which is hard. I know Im not blameless in is. When things get hard, I put walls up and shut down to protect myself. I made the decision a couple weeks ago to move out and rent for 6 months. I suggested counselling months ago but was told that if I wanted it, I would have to pay for it. I have the support of my family and have signed the lease already. Its going down with him like a tonne of bricks. I've asked him to please let us trial it so we can try and heal ourselves. But he said if I leave, I won't be able to come back. I can't sleep, I cant eat. Im always shaking and close to hyperventilating. I feel so guilty, like I'm abandoning him. He needs help too but I just can't give that to him. Im terrified that Im making a huge mistake and breaking our family up. Im trying to get help. Ive seen my GP and started a mental health plan and I've made an appointment for myself with Relationships Australia. I love him so much and im heart broken but I also cant go on like this.

kittykat123 With a man but thinking of Women
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, This is the first time I have posted so I am nervous but need help. I am in a relationship with a man who I love dearly, we recently had a threesome which I enjoyed, maybe a little too much but now I can’t stop thinking of being with a w... View more

Hi everyone, This is the first time I have posted so I am nervous but need help. I am in a relationship with a man who I love dearly, we recently had a threesome which I enjoyed, maybe a little too much but now I can’t stop thinking of being with a women again. what does this mean? Does this mean I am lesbian? Do I act on it? Please help me understand these feelings

Nik76 24 years and nothing to show for it.
  • replies: 4

My wife and I have separated after 24 years. We never had kids but did have 2 cats for 17 years. The last 5 years, things have been slowly going downhill. We started drifting apart, not doing things together, arguing all the time and disagreeing over... View more

My wife and I have separated after 24 years. We never had kids but did have 2 cats for 17 years. The last 5 years, things have been slowly going downhill. We started drifting apart, not doing things together, arguing all the time and disagreeing over finances. We tried a UK holiday in 2018 to try and find our spark but it didn't help. We've always been faithful to each other but the bickering has just been getting worse. The final straw was over a money disagreement. A petty argument with harsh words spilled and now I sit in an empty house with no furniture or kitchenware. The heartbreaker for me though is that we just got 2 new kittens in January to try and help with the relationship as it's been 5 years since the first cats passed away and maybe they were the glue in the relationship. But it was too little too late. Now the new cats are caught in the crossfire and have no idea why suddenly their play area is completely bare. I have no support network to fall to as we always were enough for each other and never needed anyone else. We were each others best friends. She has now moved back home to her parents house but my mother died years ago and my father took it really hard so I have no one. I'm struggling with going on at the moment. I've had thoughts which I never would have dreamed I'd ever face and it scares me a lot. I know that it will eventually work out but I just feel so lost right now.

Joey_jo_jo New to this but not to problems...
  • replies: 5

Hey, All my life I've not been good with recognising or communicating my emotions. I'm married with a child and my wife and I have had a lot of issues with me not sharing my feelings which has impacted our sex life and intimacy negatively to the poin... View more

Hey, All my life I've not been good with recognising or communicating my emotions. I'm married with a child and my wife and I have had a lot of issues with me not sharing my feelings which has impacted our sex life and intimacy negatively to the point it's non existent. We saw a marriage counsellor a few years ago and things improved fo a while but now they're back to where they were before - if not worse. We had a big fight about it the other night, the house is extremely tense between us now. I've asked to go back to the counsellor but my wife didn't think she was very good so I asked her to find someone and make an appointment for us. That's happening Monday (not sure when the appointment will be). What can I do now, today, to both get myself mentally prepared? It's like my mind goes completely blank when the anxiety gets this high, I can't even think to speak. Like I fully shut down. What can I do today, to start to open up communications with my wife too? She is shutting down as well so we're like to silo's existing in the same space. We're both pretty good at putting on brave faces for our child though. I think there's not too much awareness there that things are that bad between mum and dad. Any help would be awesome.

BBUser44 Recently separated and not coping well
  • replies: 11

Hello I broke up with my partner of over two years a few days ago due to him completely shutting down on me for the last few months. I am struggling to cope. At times I have trouble breathing and I feel so empty. I am so confused and angry and can't ... View more

Hello I broke up with my partner of over two years a few days ago due to him completely shutting down on me for the last few months. I am struggling to cope. At times I have trouble breathing and I feel so empty. I am so confused and angry and can't stop crying. I moved a long distance away with him to start a new life and now I am alone with no family or friends. He was supposed to be my best friend. I moved out without furniture or a car and have had to start again. He said he would never leave me with nothing if we ever broke up so I trusted that and sold my furniture and my car. I haven't had any contact with him but I am so tempted to try and find out why he did this to me. I know this will not help and only prolong the pain. How do I stop feeling like this? I do know in my heart it is for the best but right now I can't imagine having to move on without him in my life

Marty9 Ending my engagement.
  • replies: 1

Hi first time posting My partner and I have been engaged for about 1.5 years and together for a total of 4 In the past few months a lot of stuff has happens that I am still not ready to talk about, but in short, three very major events were hidden fr... View more

Hi first time posting My partner and I have been engaged for about 1.5 years and together for a total of 4 In the past few months a lot of stuff has happens that I am still not ready to talk about, but in short, three very major events were hidden from me with lies, and deceptions keeping me content for over a month (I had no reason not to trust her) I then became aware of the truth when the police had to get involved... I was told an outline of the events that had occurred from an officer that is known personally to myself and my partner. A police investigation commenced, however my partner was painfully unwilling to assist. After couples councilling, I believed I could put things behind us and my partner promised not to hide things or lie to me again. Yesterday, my partner was out with friends when I got a knock at the door from more police, asking what my partner was doing the night before... i was out with mates so i truthfully didn't know. When my partner returned the questioned her. After questioning one of the officers informed me that there had been another incident. After they left I asked my partner about it and she said it was nothing.. I pushed and she relented, telling me that there had been an incident days earlier and she hadn't told me about it. I am at my wits end... we spoke earlier today, I said I wasn't happy with her excuse for not telling me, she didnt give me any more info... I said I don't think I can cope with this any more and need a break from everything. Lots of tears and yelling/abuse from her and she left to see a friend. So that's where I'm at at the moment. I'm.not sure what the next step is or if I am being unreasonable. I don't feel like i trust her anymore but i still love her so much.