Relationship break up , 5 yrs , 59 , feels hopeless.

[randomxx]

Hi to anyone that might drop in , it's rx here l just had to rejoin.

A few might remember my ongoing thread about gf and her situation, us and the rest. Sadly though, we've broken up after all that.

l'm 59 now, just feels hopeless. lt's not that l don't get interest it's just the thought of starting over sometime later on down the track now, again, meeting that right person, it's about that person, not any interest or 2 dozen others, it's that one that feels so hopeless and if even ever at all will probably be yrs away from now, and l'll feel like it even less.

Ya just can't help thinking about it even though it's of course not the time right now for sure, know that.

As in my other thread, we were up and down , she had huge problems when we met, visas' and court cases and mh and health, she was all over the place. That's why l held back with her and us, 5 yrs but l still supported her with all l had right through it all though. All that had finally finished 3yrs in but she was still all over the place, l felt l could never trust it or her true self.

Together she was loving and supportive and affectionate and just a real partner tbh . But we were still long distance again due to her situation and so whenever she was home again or l wasn't up at hers, she'd just change again.

She'd be all negative and her health would go to shit again, talking bad stuff about us, saying she was too sick now to have a relationship, must've went through all that 20 times with her in 5yrs.

Truth was together, she was not only just beautiful mostly , but also fitter than any girl her age l ever knew soon as she was back up home alone though it'd all just start again.

There's no talking or reasoning, even though she use to preach positivity herself, the negativity just pours out all over again, even if we'd just had a beautiful 3 or 4wks together.

Dealing with that 5yrs plus all her earlier dramas , l just couldn't trust anything to do with us, but l hoped in time or once we were together full time, that'd all just go as it was when we were together. But then l'd think how would l know that was real just bc we were together properly at last, if she was going home again she'd just blurt out all the same old stuff.

Anyway, it started again after our last visit, her health her stress , she can't be in a relationship, l've had enough.

ldk, l was divorced 10yrs ago, laid low 5yrs, but she was the only one l'd met that just fitted, but then there was the rest of it. l could see a life with her though if it all sorted out and so l persisted.

l knew it was a gamble though, damn it.

rx

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Weirdly , l always use to think when l was younger , if older family friends or someone were living in a unit , they must've been broke and l'd think how sad.

But l could well end up rich as hell in a few yrs time bc an investment l've had 5yrs now, is looking set to explode.

That's what l hoped and expected it would do when l took in on but not to be rich, l didn't care about that , but just to have no more stress bc there's always be enough for things. Strangely though, now l wouldn't even know what to do with the money except helping my daughter.Might not even care about buying  another place.

When l'm up at gf's place, which couldn't be more opposite to my place here, it's just a reasonably small and compact but very practical unit, l always find myself so relaxed. Bit towy bc there's no yard buttt, apart from that.

l've even thought l'd be quite happy to just rent some unit later on, just like hers, just like those people l use to feel sorry for when l was younger, but it makes sense now.

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Actually my very main reason for taking that investment was to just pay of the house and have enough money to stop working bc l can't get disability.

Funny , now l wanna get rid of the house and don't even think l'll even buy another one anyway.

l'll settle for being able to stop work , that'd do me.

[randomxx]

Hi again Tony.

Mate if you happen to drop in , l'm tossing up about vans and came across one style last wk , so l thought l'd see what yourself or anyone else for that matter too thinks about it.

lt's just one of the wind up camper styles, the style that's only half the height of a normal van when it's folded down. But when wound up it has the beds slide out at ea end and the top half of the van walls are canvas, you'd know the ones.

Anyway , this one's a great buy, just needs a tidy up , but it has an extra long base of 13ft so more living area and then plus the slide out beds ea end. They're usually only around 10 to 11 ft base. So l really like this one is the longer base but it's also great colours inside and just has a really homely light airy feel about it so not claustrophobic at all. l could really feel myself being very at home in this especially in a warmer climate.

What do you think , wind up verses a normal caravan ?

This one's not so good for just over nighters bc it's not just ready to go , you gotta wind it up and set it up, where as the normal van you can just stop any time and she's ready to go.

So l'd be thinking l wouldn't even bother for just over nighters. Got a 4wd and l just have a mattress in the back when l'm doing Syd trips, and a little cooker for coffee and a feed. Syd's a 13 hr drive from me so l often stop over night.

But as you'd know these wind up types are so light and easy to tow but this one too as l say, l could just feel myself living very comfortable in it in warmer climates.

Not sure though if it happened to be a long stop or longer term would you get a bit sick of the half canvas style and all , like verses the normal solid walled caravan .

Any thoughts ?

rx

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Could end up living in it for a yr or two so that side of it just wondering if it'd still be as nice longer term.

Ha, my d just got home showed her she reckons well , if you end up living somewhere for a your two and weren't happy you could always flog it of and pick one up in the other style- which l suppose yeah , makes sense.

[white knight]

Hi rx,

I'm not keen on wind up, pop up, anything - up or out. Canvas flaps and drives you mad, mould, damp, cold weather drips condensation, constantly drying it out, pillows, mattresses. 

I'll suggest a caravan with ensuite. You'll never regret an ensuite and they are very easy to sell.

Jurgens Sungazer, Skygazer, Lunagazer depending on your towball weight and ATM you can tow.. But if you cannot afford those then the Avan fold up camper trailers. They take only 30 seconds to erect.

TonyWK

[randomxx]

Eh Tony.

Well that's all big points l suppose , l did wonder about all that side of especially anything canvas.

But nah , couldn't afford anything as swoosh as those either but tbh , l actually really like the older stuff 70s or around anyway,rounded,so nice. But l have fitted showers and loos into even those at work too a few times so yeah, could always go something like that.

Got one for work right here atm actually a 21 ftr gorgeous old Franklin. l've fallin in love with this thing while we've been doing the work. Wouldn't want 21 ft though.

Cheer for that.

rx

[white knight]

If you look at Gumtree you will find a caravan under $6000 that will resell for the same amount when you are ready, 1980's models. cheers

TonyWK

[quirkywords]

Rx just found your thread and wanted to say hi. Glad you have support here as you have helped others here . 

[randomxx]

lifes so strange.

Often l think it's stranger harder as we get older, and it can get sad too as we get older. Always thought it'd be cruise mode then. But you see people age, lose parents, some get sick, strong people loose confidence you see their doubts, fav muso's pass or get sick or don't play anymore or you see them first time in yrs and think wth happened, how can that be them. We even lost Bowie, grew up on Bowie , was still listening to him, who would've ever thought. So many things about people, never knew it would be that way, those changes.

l'd have thought it would've been the opposite. You go though life hearing older people or even not so old, talk about all that stuff or this one or that one, but they were usually different type of people to people l was use too and grew up around,you thought it was just them , or just some.

But l started seeing some of it even in 40s. Not so much in people in life, even fav bands and muso's actors, all changes. But then later on the odd family friend or rally, hard to get the head around.

Strangest thing, saw my oldest brother last night, much older than me. One of these people , a lot like my dad, you just thought would never age. Haven't seen him 6yrs.

Heard he was coming up to this area to see someone dropped him a text see if he'd like to catch up if he got time. Was hoping he'd come over to my place only 20mins from where he'd be, catch him one on one, as a brother, would've been nice. he was happy to catch up but asked if l'd go over there, he'd driven a lot that day, fair enough. it's just that there'd be other people, not one on one, shame.

Anywayyyy, still good to see him but also a shock. He's always been married n still is kids grown, ran a business, a marshal arts expert and into horse and motor bikes. Last l saw him he pulled up on this monster road bike, this thing was scary. Very humble sort of guy don't get me wrong, just loved bikes. lt's not that he's the oldest and by a long shot, it's more about he's life and ways it's turned out and that he's managed it, realized last few yrs really, he's a bloody legend tbh. Don't think he'd ever plan that being the oldest or some example to the rest of us thing, it's just the way he's done his life, marriage, grown kids, and things he's achieved, the way it's turned out.

But tbh l was just in shock the whole night, how much he'd aged and how light and almost frail looking he was . Sometimes l think as men age they're better off with a bit of weight, looks better,still strong, it was a real shock system though. Few people had told me over the yrs he'd aged a lot. Damn shame, life l know, but a shame, even a brother ages. l saw a lot of dad in him. Dad was always this big strong burley bloke, nice healthy loud laugh, voice, very manly, one day, late 70s, he just aged, was very sad and a real shock too.

One of my other brothers l don't see much he lives interstate and we've always had different worlds and lives. l'd been married right through, family , and since gf, he's been single most his adult life. But we've always called and caught up well. He's 50s too. l've changed ages a bit in threads, even mine to and l'm careful about details, but close enough, lve just been a bit worried someone might recognise .

But anyway, here he is now after all these yrs, he has a partner, and she's beautiful, they're beautiful, a real couple, in only 18mths, after all these yrs. They'll be lifers for sure, it's mind blowing. He's never had a steady gf and nothings ever lasted, he's always been oddish and very singlish, you'd never think he'd even be able to be in something, he's personality and single ways, mind, yet here they are now, a real couple.

And yet here l am after all this time, and l'm the one now with this up in the air all over the place thing n gf.

Mind you, she's wanted to marry from 2nd yr, or at very min move in and start our life for a long time now, l was the damn hold up buttt, here we are in this thing now. l've realized so much lately and no wonder she's been the way she has with the way l've been, poor thing l've done nothing but be in and out and iffy and stalling.

Just blows your mind how though, so much changes, and people , and things, and lives.

rx

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Just one thing first up, in saying l've felt l've needed to mix up a few details just in case, l've tried to do in ways close enough and so as to not mislead in any way , but at the same time, just not too exact and change things up a bit. But only bc l've just worried with exact details bc there are some v close to me that could well l be using bb too. l feel guilty having to mix things up a bit buttt, what can ya do.

But gees, the older brother thing, can't shake it. l mean he is a good bit older and so l guess about an age where things well , ldk. But still !!!

Weird to in that he's always been such a humble unassuming type bloke,l doubt he even realizes everything he's done. Yet really,  if there's anyone could be the total opposite and well deserve to be too, it'd be someone like him. l wish l could go into more detail here about some, but it'd be a bit too much info just in case.

Mind you, not that his life or things would've been for me, not really in the detail anyway not what l would have wanted for mine and l'm not sort of talking about it in that way, but at the same time, that doesn't mean you can't look at someone else's even if different , and admire them anyway, yaknow.

Another weird thing too is him and dad never really got along that well, like he wasn't really a dad fav you could say and dad seemed to think he wouldn't do much or go far. Yet really, it's pretty damn amazing tbh, he's even in his very unassuming ways become quite wealthy too, yet he still works even though he's well well past retirement age. Even that though is sort of even more just the typical him.

Strangely enough , would you believe, there's been times through life where he's envied my life, world but as l said not that l envied his as such, it's not like that buttt. We were living up in nth qld for quite awhile for example, and my marriage was anything you could ever want and more, our life was a dream to mostly, it was almost a movie - and he called me one day.

When he did w and l were literally sitting under a palm tree at the time, l kid you not. But he was calling from he's factory and on a dirty very busy very hot and stinky day in an industrial suburb in Melb, in the middle of the day.

You couldn't have got two more opposite lives, worlds .And he wasn't very happy in he's marriage either back then. But look now, he's has lasted test of time family kids sickness and lots of troubles, and mine didn't . And l'm nowhere near under that palm tree any more either .

Tellin ya, you just never do know do ya, but one thing is for sure, life just blows your mind.

rx