Relationship and family issues

Painful events & exclusion

replies: 4

My parents birthday is coming up ( mine too I have the unfortunate/ fortunate however it looks I feel both that my birthday falls day before my family members ) anyway I haven’t received an invite from” the party planner “it’s 5 days away I know they... View more

My parents birthday is coming up ( mine too I have the unfortunate/ fortunate however it looks I feel both that my birthday falls day before my family members ) anyway I haven’t received an invite from” the party planner “it’s 5 days away I know they would be doing it as it’s a milestone for my family member “ the planner of parties “ their kids birthday was a few months back I got a present and got the lovely request that I put the present over their back fence .and that they are far too busy to see us far too busy they are both busy This “ family member is still in contact with me they actually accused me of not responding to their txts( also not true ) the txts we have are very business minded anyway I have a lot of pent up anger at this “ family member/ party planner “ they called my child a cow when she was misbehaving, they also damaged my car with their tent on a family outing they also messed up my house with their animals on family trip & blew up my cleaner , they then shouted at me for being over dramatising for saying how I was feeling … all things that were damaged I had to rebuy and fix at my own cost any way out side of my above rant how do I cope with these combined birthdays and how do I go about enjoying mine while others are putting on a do for my family member and meanwhile we are excluded? could I should I visit family member for their birthday at their local club ? Also what do I do about being excluded how do i manage it like the pain ?as I have no doubt it affects my child too because they are their family member too , also so I give let’s name them “ party planner “ Easter eggs for Easter over their steel fence ? My child says not to ( my child has strong boundaries me I’m hurting & still love my family but also still really hurt and angry and not sure what to make of it because “ the party planner/ family member has got me a birthday present and should I give them the same treatment as I’ve gotten ( which I really want to ) which is to put my present on my back door step / I don’t have a steel fence lol ( which no doubt they will anyway put my present on my door step as they have been actively excluding us for 5 months ) I’m trying to not to react to them as it just gives them too much power over me.. I hope all this makes sense

estrangement of daughter

replies: 1

Hi there . I am feeling a little lost but trying to focus on anything but . Backstory, our Granddaughter is obese , 6 years old and 70kg nearly . Her mother sticks her head in the sand . For many years Ive tried to talk to my daughter about her healt... View more

Hi there . I am feeling a little lost but trying to focus on anything but . Backstory, our Granddaughter is obese , 6 years old and 70kg nearly . Her mother sticks her head in the sand . For many years Ive tried to talk to my daughter about her health issues and her daughters . Both obese , morbidly obese . Daughter dosn't want to hear it . ive offered to pay for dieticians , provided more than enough funds to sort the issues, done groceries for years for them , eased the financial burden to allow for better lifestyles .. the list goes on A few months ago she went through my phone and read messages of where to get help for said grandchild .. she's now cut us ( hubby and I ) out of her life due to my apparent mistrust of her parenting . She read private conversations to a friend, OT and carers trying to get help for this child ..Kids don't get to unhealthy obese weights from healthy habits . This said child and grandchild lived with us healthy , happy for 5 years and finally after we stopped enabling our daughter (I now can see that by handing money over consistently to a unhealthy high degree of funds ) she moved out .She left her partner for DV , went back to him even after we paid her debts out as she was struggling .. it appears in vain now and to be honest now resentment from us now seeing we were used especially knowing birthdays , etc come and go . Ive tried speaking with my closest friend who points out the obvious to move on, keep busy . Anyhow just needed to vent .Thanks .

When is it time to let a family relationship go? Genuinely confused

replies: 3

Hi!I'm in a bit of a pickle, I am in my late 30s and have two siblings. We are all successful with families. We had a rough start to life but managed to support each other into adulthood, where we flourished. We were always super close but out of the... View more

Hi!I'm in a bit of a pickle, I am in my late 30s and have two siblings. We are all successful with families. We had a rough start to life but managed to support each other into adulthood, where we flourished. We were always super close but out of the blue things seem odd between my sister and I. It feels as though she wants nothing to do with me at all. Over a few years now, she has rarely rung me or visited me. I try to ring her, but usually it rings out and messages go unanswered. I never bombard her. We all live hours apart, with my brother living between us, only an hour and a half from me; she's at least three hours from him. When she visits my brother, she never reaches out to see if we can meet there and catch up. It's so hard because I adore her kids, always send them birthday gifts, etc., and want to stay in contact with them. I want them to know how loved they are, but feel blocked in a way to do so. The tricky part is that when I do have the chance to see or talk to my sister she is all excited and loving to me, its super confusing. My sister recently decided to stay at my brothers for easter with her family and he rang to invite me. I went there yesterday and she gave all the kids easter gifts but mine. I as always got her kids something special each for easter. Im so confused. There was no rift or anything between us and i have the sweetest kids. Now I feel like I interrupted her plans with our brother. Its like she wants me and my family quietly written out of her world. I dont know if its because I am the only one that witnessed her wild days and shes embarrassed (she now holds her place in society in high regard). i really cant think of any other reason. Where do I go from here? I want to mirror her actions out of respect because I dont want to force anything on her but I dont want her kids to miss out on love (even though she doesnt care about my kids, even my disabled son). its so hard! I also dont want my brother to be in the middle. What would you do? We really dont have any other family for guidance. Any advice would be amazing, thank you

Ex wife of my partner is inescapable

replies: 1

Bit of back story: I moved states to start a new life and just feel free and happy. I started a new job where I met my current partner. We started dating and when we were well and truly into the relationship, he told me that his ex wife (mother of hi... View more

Bit of back story: I moved states to start a new life and just feel free and happy. I started a new job where I met my current partner. We started dating and when we were well and truly into the relationship, he told me that his ex wife (mother of his only child) worked in the same building as the both of us. It’s been more than 12 months and I’m still frustrated. I feel blindsided however I don’t believe he intentionally didn’t tell me. So my partner and his ex wife have been separated/divorced since Feb 2023. They have one child. Since I came along, she has started proceedings for custody and just being outright awful and it’s clearly fuelled by jealousy. We cross paths at work a lot and she has been awful and I have suffered reputational damage due to me being with my partner. I literally sit in a corner at work and don’t talk to everyone and yet I’m the worst person in the world. My partner proposed a few months ago and it hadn’t gone down well with the ex or people at work. The work colleagues are saying that he did it to rub it in her face. I just don’t know what to believe. I love him so much but I feel like I’m being used. My partner is dependant on me for everything, money, emotional support, you name it and I just feel like I am just convenient for him.

Horrible “situationship”

replies: 3

I met this guy in 2024 when I was 19, since then the way he treats me directly impacts my mental health. We never even dated however we’ve slept together a few times and after the third time in February this year I asked to see him again and he ghost... View more

I met this guy in 2024 when I was 19, since then the way he treats me directly impacts my mental health. We never even dated however we’ve slept together a few times and after the third time in February this year I asked to see him again and he ghosted me, this has since sent me into a massive depressive episode where I’m spending everyday obsessing over him and hoping he’ll come back even though he’s never treated me right. I feel like I’ll never be able to get over him and am constantly comparing myself to girls he’s friends with. I have no idea if I’ll ever be able to get over him, I feel like the happiest I’d ever been was when he was constantly responding to me and wanted to see me but now that it’s over I feel constantly sad. I hope that one day I can move on and not feel this way about him but I’m so scared that I never will.

Isolated

replies: 1

I'm here alone in the dark most times as others live out in the light and enjoy the air. I thrive to gain ME back during the next part. The part when my kids finally come home to their right parent safe and sound as they are now 7 and 13. I'm fairly ... View more

I'm here alone in the dark most times as others live out in the light and enjoy the air. I thrive to gain ME back during the next part. The part when my kids finally come home to their right parent safe and sound as they are now 7 and 13. I'm fairly new to the Gold coast and have no friends up here and I'm pretty lonely since my ex husband had my children removed for I don't even know any legal reasons other than me being a protective mother. My kids and I started off strong and have battled mental health issues whilst being separated from each other. Which thier dad carried on care free and greedy. I hope we can all group together and think of our children when going through a seperation as they have been left last in my eyes against the system. Why do others get help before the children? During the seperation, I kept my differences aside for my ex to remain an active parent. He took advantage of us in that situation and I was more than giving to him when he turned his back on his own blood as he does now and doesn't care for thier well-being as much as I wanted the father of my kids to be. That's my fault and I won't be making the same mistake again in the next chapter of my life. I hope for love peace happiness and unity from now on.

My life feels like it will be forever controlled

replies: 1

My mother from a young age used to treat me like dirt , when smacking she would really hit hard , she would always fight with my father and kick him out , also would hit him too ( and being close with him would really stress me out ) I have developed... View more

My mother from a young age used to treat me like dirt , when smacking she would really hit hard , she would always fight with my father and kick him out , also would hit him too ( and being close with him would really stress me out ) I have developed ocd and there has been a massive fear of leaving home ( even thought she controls what I do and puts me down ) and I need to move out now and the the cycle of fights is starting again I have no where to go as I can’t get a place and have no other family to run to that aren’t already making the situation worse with Easter coming up , I really don’t want to be home with themi feel forever stuck

Depression Stemming from Inability to Find Romantic Partners

replies: 1

Hi, Went through a break-up from a very long term relationship (just shy of 10 years) last year, had no major issues with this at first, was working on myself, trying to get my mental and physical health all sorted, settling into a new state etc. All... View more

Hi, Went through a break-up from a very long term relationship (just shy of 10 years) last year, had no major issues with this at first, was working on myself, trying to get my mental and physical health all sorted, settling into a new state etc. All seemed to be going great for a while - I finally felt like the meds I was taking were making a difference, my physical health issues were beginning to subside, was fitting out my new house and meeting a couple of friends in my new city. But my mental health is starting to slip, and I know it stems from my inability to make meaningful romantic encounters. I've been trying to approach people at bars and clubs and very rare social gatherings that come my way, and have been using dating apps, none of which I seem to have any luck with. I know this is very broad, of course you can't see exactly how these things go down for me, but I felt the need to get some kind of input on this as I simply have no idea what my problem is. Friends past and current, regardless of gender, say that I'm attractive, well dressed and groomed, confident, charming and funny, and don't seem to get why I wouldn't be able to get anywhere with potential partners. On dating sites I match with hardly anybody - over the last 4 months of regular use, I think I've matches with maybe 4 people that have actually engaged in a conversation with me, and only one occasion that amounted to anything physical. In real life, I've only had one sexual encounter that I enjoyed, and one other where I was chewed up and spat out very quickly. It's really beginning to wear me down and causing me to lose my confidence - it feels like I'm relapsing into my depression and undoing all of the work I've been putting in over the last year. Only other things I haven't tried are speed-dating, which sounds incredibly depressing to be honest, and meeting people through clubs and extracurricular activities, which I find it very hard to believe is how people find short-term romantic encounters. For full context, I have no idea for an immediate, fully-fledged relationship, I'm just trying to find intimacy like many other people do. If anybody has any potential insight, I'm all ears. If there are any further details that I can provide to better inform advice, I'm happy to provide that as well.

Four months post medical abortion

replies: 1

I had a medical abortion at the start of December, I have three children, 16,14,12. I separated from my ex in August 25 after 13 years during that not protecting myself against pregnancy happening. I met a new partner, September 25, and fell pregnant... View more

I had a medical abortion at the start of December, I have three children, 16,14,12. I separated from my ex in August 25 after 13 years during that not protecting myself against pregnancy happening. I met a new partner, September 25, and fell pregnant 4 weeks after,a week before I found out I was pregnant, the new partner was booked in for a vasectomy which had obviously been on the cards for a while for him. I know at the time I felt funny about him having one but knowing someone for only a few short weeks and not knowing where it was all going I was not in any position to say what are you doing( I should add I am 37 and he is 49). I was having pains so after the first few weeks of going through dr appointments, even an overnight stay in hospital having a small procedure after they though I was having an ectopic (wasn’t) and bleeding a lot after surgery I thought I had lost it but monitoring my hcg levels every two days so which turned out I was still in fact pregnant. I then scheduled an appointment at my local hospital for my options, knowing my very fresh partner didn’t want further children, I was always very sure I would never go through an abortion in saying I also thought I would not fall pregnant but here I was. I felt I had everyone around me put so much pressure on me about aborting, surprisingly the only person that told me not to do it was my ex partner as he said you won’t be okay moving forward after it. After a few short weeks that flew by I found myself at 8 weeks and scheduled a further hospital appointment to terminate- I pushed this back a few times. The day came I did not want anyone to come to the appointment with me purely because I thought I would not actually do it, but sitting outside the hospital December 1st, my appointment was scheduled for 1pm to take the the first initial medical abortion pill but it took me 45 mins of crying outside, a phone call from the partner and a friend passing seeing me before I dragged myself in. Still crying saying to the nurse is this normal to cry this much. I just sat there and before I knew it I just swallowed the tablet i thought I quicker I do it then what is done is done. Two days later I took the second pill and within a few hours I felt I was in labour- was the worst thing I have experienced. Now I have so much regret and sadness I feel I can’t get rid of, I am always thinking what if? If my partner was able to I would be trying actively trying

Separation

replies: 2

Hi all it’s been 2 weeks since it’s come to my attention I have self sabotaged my 14 year marriage. My husband is a great guy it’s not his fault I pushed him away unintentionally through no intimacy he says we are more like friends. I don’t feel this... View more

Hi all it’s been 2 weeks since it’s come to my attention I have self sabotaged my 14 year marriage. My husband is a great guy it’s not his fault I pushed him away unintentionally through no intimacy he says we are more like friends. I don’t feel this way I am shattered it was my own doing in this marriage he says he’s numb and it’s like a stone wall. How did I get here.. what do I do now? We have a son together with special needs My husband says he’s not going to kick me out and he is actually wanting to teach me to be independent I know self care is important but I’m not eating or sleeping I’m throwing myself into work to distract me I have Dr appointment next Wednesday for blood results, I love him so much but I don’t want him miserable Don’t know what to do Sorry and thank you for reading

Pinned discussions

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

All discussions

Painful events & exclusion

replies: 4

estrangement of daughter

replies: 1

When is it time to let a family relationship go? Genuinely confused

replies: 3

Ex wife of my partner is inescapable

replies: 1

Horrible “situationship”

replies: 3

Isolated

replies: 1

My life feels like it will be forever controlled

replies: 1

Depression Stemming from Inability to Find Romantic Partners

replies: 1

Four months post medical abortion

replies: 1

Separation

replies: 2

Relationship and family issues

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about replies: 0

Painful events & exclusion replies: 4

estrangement of daughter replies: 1

When is it time to let a family relationship go? Genuinely confused replies: 3

Ex wife of my partner is inescapable replies: 1

Horrible “situationship” replies: 3

Isolated replies: 1

My life feels like it will be forever controlled replies: 1

Depression Stemming from Inability to Find Romantic Partners replies: 1

Four months post medical abortion replies: 1

Separation replies: 2

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

Painful events & exclusion

replies: 4

estrangement of daughter

replies: 1

When is it time to let a family relationship go? Genuinely confused

replies: 3

Ex wife of my partner is inescapable

replies: 1

Horrible “situationship”

replies: 3

Isolated

replies: 1

My life feels like it will be forever controlled

replies: 1

Depression Stemming from Inability to Find Romantic Partners

replies: 1

Four months post medical abortion

replies: 1

Separation

replies: 2