Hi there,This is my first forum post, and one I never imagined making. I
(23F) was recently broken up with by an amazing guy (22M). We had been
dating for a little over a year - we celebrated our one-year anniversary
in November. We were taking thing...
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Hi there,This is my first forum post, and one I never imagined making. I
(23F) was recently broken up with by an amazing guy (22M). We had been
dating for a little over a year - we celebrated our one-year anniversary
in November. We were taking things slowly because it was my first
relationship, and he had only dated briefly before meeting me.I was
completely comfortable with the slow pace as we got to know each other
before becoming exclusive. I never expected a major commitment from him
because we are still young. I did ask him what certain milestones meant
to him, but ultimately what mattered most to me was that we were moving
toward a future together, whatever the timeline. I wasn’t in any hurry.I
truly believed everything was going well. There were no signs that he
was considering ending things. I met his parents a couple of weeks
before the break-up, and every date felt special. He told me he liked
and admired me very much - and I felt the same. We loved spending time
together.On Saturday, he messaged me to arrange a lunch date. I was
excited, because we usually had weekly dates and nightly check-ins.
Nothing seemed off, except that he didn’t spend the night, but he had
other plans and I understood.On Sunday morning, I got all dressed up for
our date, not knowing what was coming. He messaged asking if he could
come over earlier. I was happy to see him sooner. I was in the bathroom
when he arrived and left the door unlocked. He asked if anyone else was
home, and I told him no.When I came out, I found him sobbing. I sat him
down and asked what was wrong. He struggled to speak, but finally said
that he needed to end things. He told me he had been crying for days and
felt he couldn’t commit - that I knew what I wanted, and he couldn’t
give me what I deserved. I didn’t agree, because what we had was exactly
what I wanted. He said I needed someone who would commit and take care
of me - but he already did that, and I wasn’t asking for more. He also
said he did not want to lead me on which made no sense to me. At one
point he paused to think and walk for a bit, and I hoped he might change
his mind. He asked me to hold off on calling my friends, but I tried
calling one anyway and she didn’t pick up. He must have seen me, because
when he came back he said we needed to end it now and not prolong
things.Everything had felt perfect earlier that week, which is why I’m
so confused. I reached out once afterward, but he didn’t respond, so I
haven’t sent anything else. It’s been a few days now, and he still
follows me on Instagram and LinkedIn.During the breakup, I pleaded with
him to stay and listen to what I wanted for us. I told him I would wait
for him, but he said I shouldn’t, because he isn’t sure he’d be ready to
commit even in 5–10 years. I’m afraid that I somehow caused this. He has
always been such a rational, thoughtful person, so this felt completely
out of character.Should I blame myself? How long should I wait for a
response - I really want clarity. And how do I deal with this heartbreak
over Christmas, especially since this is my first heartbreak? I truly
believed I loved this man, and he is a genuinely good person, so I don’t
fault him for anything.Sorry for the long post. Has anyone in this
irrational and emotional state ever reached out afterwards for clarity,
or even to possibly make up?
Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
