Relationship and family issues

Breakup

replies: 2

Me and my partner broke up about a month ago due to me hurting him ( not abuse ) and him feeling overwhelmed and couldn't continue the relationship. We ended mutually on goodish terms, I think the hardest part is that he says he still loves me and ca... View more

Me and my partner broke up about a month ago due to me hurting him ( not abuse ) and him feeling overwhelmed and couldn't continue the relationship. We ended mutually on goodish terms, I think the hardest part is that he says he still loves me and cares about me he's just not in the right headspace to be in a relationship. I ended up blocking him on Instagram and Facebook but still have his number. I apologised sincerely and said I am getting therapy to help my insecurities that hurt him in the first place. I can't get over the fact I didn't even realise how bad I was actually hurting him, I feel so guilty. I just want to believe there's another chance with us

Financial manipulation adult son

replies: 3

Hi, I have just blocked all contact with my 35-year-old son who for quite some time has been (don't want to call it financially abusing because I have willingly given him the money) but manipulating, guilting, for want of better words and I am now fe... View more

Hi, I have just blocked all contact with my 35-year-old son who for quite some time has been (don't want to call it financially abusing because I have willingly given him the money) but manipulating, guilting, for want of better words and I am now feeling extremely guilty and heartbroken for having done this and want to know if anyone else has done similar and how they have overcome the guilt, grief of losing their child.

Worried about our marriage

replies: 4

My wife and I have been married since September 29th 2007 (it was afl grand final day) and had been together for a year and a bit prior. I left a good job in Tasmania to be with her and her family on the Gold coast in early 2007 as she wasn't prepare... View more

My wife and I have been married since September 29th 2007 (it was afl grand final day) and had been together for a year and a bit prior. I left a good job in Tasmania to be with her and her family on the Gold coast in early 2007 as she wasn't prepared to relocate and at the time her family wouldn't have liked that either. Things were amazing then in 2009 my dad passed away and my wife was struggling with finding the right job so we decided to move back to Tasmania. My wife having no family here became very independent and soon secured full time employment. Things were still amazing we purchased our first home in 2012. Something wasn't right we had no children in our life yet. We tried unsuccessfully deciding not to do ivf. 2016 we sold our villa and moved into a house we had custom built for us. It was amazing establishing gardens and doing projects as a couple. But shortly after my wife's grand father passed away and I found my wife depressed and crying wanting her family. So we sold up moved back to Queensland after a few months we purchased a business a mobile coffee van and the plan was to work it together most days. Unfortunately we were struggling with the Queensland heat while working outdoors on the coffee van so we decided to pack up after 12 months and move back to Hobart with the business. It went really well at first then covid hit and we restructured a bit but still going strong until 2022 when cost of living was starting to become a issue for our customer base. I returned to a full time job while my wife ran the business most days. It was OK but we started finding that we were disconnecting from each other she then secured more hours in a part time job and was losing interest in the business. After some equipment issues we decided to close down the business but I feel my wife and I have become really disconnected since. Fast forward to the present time my wife became very close friends with a female workmate. When I met this lady I found she wasn't interested in knowing me and started to feel she wasn't the right company for my wife as she was separated and had some family issues. But my wife formed a bond with her like family calling her a cousin and spoke like they were family and chatted more than my wife's own family (often 2 times a day). My wife asks me can I take $50 out and give to her. I was shocked and said I don't feel comfortable with this as I knew the friend was a drinker and smoker. It was at that point my wife says I've been supporting her with gift cards I get from doing surveys (I thought that's OK if my wife wants to). My wife has a big caring heart but can be easily lead. So I said no to the $50 and later that day I get a message I love you I've taken $50 out for her I love you. I was stressed upset and called my mother in law who had met this lady on the phone and had bad vibes. We talked and i went for a big walk to calm down and collect my thoughts. I then decided to send my wife's friend a message just saying that I wasn't comfortable with the so called loan and advised her there are services out there if she needs assistance. I was told by the friend to butt out and I had no idea what she was going thru and never talk or message her again. This has lead to amosity between my wife and I as she has ended the friendship but has gone into a state of silence most days. We started talking about moving back to Queensland so my wife will have family. Some days she's supports the idea then next day not interested at all. Please help, my wife is going to Queensland for a week to be with family so hope they can help because I'm lost and worried what our next step will be We are looking into marriage counselling but I'm unsure if my wife will be open to that. Apologies for thevlong drawn out post just needed to reach out.

The never ending saga

replies: 2

As to form my family member took another disrespectful step towards me today I cut all contact around 3 weeks ago sent them a letter outlining what they are doing; ( pointless but I needed to purge for my mental health) they went to my local newspape... View more

As to form my family member took another disrespectful step towards me today I cut all contact around 3 weeks ago sent them a letter outlining what they are doing; ( pointless but I needed to purge for my mental health) they went to my local newspaper shop ( I got their kids and mine paper rounds a few years ago and have been paying them for their work and vise Versa) today my family member went in behind my back to the owner and told them to split the round in half ) so she can do her bit by herself and they tried to get the poor owner involved in my family members triangulation of me ) I felt so sorry for the owner I apologised and told her I’m sorry that she got put in the middle and it’s very unprofessional of my family member to behave this way she was quite understanding and said it was up to me if I want to let her split it so I did I was just purely shocked by it all most people address issues with the person not drag strangers into it But the effect of my family member doing this to me again just to twist the pain they are causing me to like get a reaction out of me to hurt me more I did my best and just accept that the rounds be split & that’s fine : my family member doing ( who I requested in my letter to not contact me again they did to twist the pain again and hurt me again insinuating I was like withholding their payment for their paper rounds ( cause that’s just what I do steal things & lie sure ) and ask me for receipts of payment and stuff like this …my only reply was to come get it on my doorstep cause that’s where they are most comfortable.. im honestly sick of this like I set barriers they break them they do anything to hurt me to discredit me to tarnish me and I’ve spent so much of my time & efforts trying to give them chances and understanding and I still end up despite setting barriers and laying out how hurt I am I still get smacked down and disrespected . I’m a little sad and hurt and I’m like why am i bothering myself with all this petty nonsense . They will never respect me or even acknowledge what they are doing to me

I need a starting point

replies: 3

I think I am in an abusive relationship. I have been with my wife for 10 years and we have been married for 7 years. I am beginning to realise that over the years she has been slowly isolating me. I have no old friends, the friends I have are mutual ... View more

I think I am in an abusive relationship. I have been with my wife for 10 years and we have been married for 7 years. I am beginning to realise that over the years she has been slowly isolating me. I have no old friends, the friends I have are mutual friends with her. She has a problem with anyone who I get close to. She often says it’s not that she doesn’t trust me, she doesn’t trust them. My colleagues (my only friends) are concerned for me and have made comments that I am not a door mat and that she is controlling. She tracks my location and often goes through my phone, she listens to conversations (even work ones) and asks me questions afterwards. I feel like I’m insane even feeling like this, don’t know what next or how to even fix it. I feel like I have shrunk myself as a human and lost who I truely am. There are financial issues as well - I am the primary income earner and she refuses to work yet will try and control my career progression however whenever I try to do anything for myself she guilt trips me. Our home life on the outside seems happy and it makes me feel like I’m insane for even feeling this way

family feels wrong and broken

replies: 5

so let me just start off by saying, my family has a good relationship with each other. none of us are abusive to each other or anything like that. my main issue is that we're always on technology, including myself. however, i feel like i at least hav... View more

so let me just start off by saying, my family has a good relationship with each other. none of us are abusive to each other or anything like that. my main issue is that we're always on technology, including myself. however, i feel like i at least have excuses for that, because i do most of my art and stuff on computer, i dont like drawing traditionally and all of my friends are in other countries or simply too far away. at times, it feels like im the only one out of my siblings willing to go outside or go to other towns/cities. my brother and sister never want to go anywhere and i understand that they might find it overwhelming or something, but i just miss those times going out as a family, eating together as a family, doing anything together as a family. we don't eat as a family together; my mum stays in her room to eat, everyone else eats in the living room, but they all watch their own things instead. we dont even watch new years celebrations on tv as a full group anymore. every time ive been away from home with my brother, he always asks "can we go home soon". my sister is better and i dont really have many qualms with her, its mainly my brother. i would like to add that i am the youngest in my family, everyone else being in their 20s and ive only recently turned 18. i feel like sometimes i am babied or not taken entirely seriously, which has always been an insecurity of mine. ive been having repeated thoughts of moving out, despite me not having a job or a good position to do so. i just feel like if my family isnt going to feel like a family, i might as well be living on my own. i dont like this house. every day i feel more and more irritated at everyone else, even though theyre not doing anything wrong, just things that bug me. i dont have my own room and i have to share with my brother, meaning i cant decorate or express myself in my own room. i know a lot of these things are out of my family's control. i just wish they'd at least pull together and feel like a family. i want us to watch tv together in the living room like a family again, i want my brother to get away from his video game addiction, i want all of us to go out shopping and do things together like a real family would, but it feels like no one ever tries to be better, and if i told them how i feel, they would try to change to make me feel better. but it wouldnt make me feel better, because its not what they want, its just what i want and they wont be happy if theyre all just doing what one person wants and no one else.

My Girlfriends parents found out about us and made her break up with me

replies: 1

hi everybody, as the titles says yeah this just happened like less than an hour ago. i poured my heart out for this girl i love her. she cant date till shes 24 and shes currently 21, i am so breakbroken right now anyone who wants to talk or has been ... View more

hi everybody, as the titles says yeah this just happened like less than an hour ago. i poured my heart out for this girl i love her. she cant date till shes 24 and shes currently 21, i am so breakbroken right now anyone who wants to talk or has been in a similar situation please reach out i need someone

I don’t like being a parent

replies: 30

I feel sick saying this because I love my children dearly, but I absolutely hate life with kids. Nothing can prepare you for the relentlessness of parenthood and how much of yourself you lose in the process. Everyone says it’s hard but you don’t trul... View more

I feel sick saying this because I love my children dearly, but I absolutely hate life with kids. Nothing can prepare you for the relentlessness of parenthood and how much of yourself you lose in the process. Everyone says it’s hard but you don’t truly understand what that means until you’re in the thick of it and once you’re there, I feel like there’s nothing you can do about it. If I disliked anything else in my life - where I lived, my job, my husband, I could leave, change careers, do something different, but you can’t take back having kids and yet it’s the one decision that I really wish I’d had more background info on before I took the plunge. I have a 5yr old and a 1yr old, they’re so very loved and clever, and funny and wonderful, they’re great kids and I’m a great Mum (mostly), but I grieve all the time for my lost life, all the freedoms I had and all the TIME I no longer have. I used to have so much choice in my day - I could spend my day sleeping, exercising, crafting, eating, listening to music/podcasts/audiobooks, binge watching tv or movies, relaxing, renovating our house, organising, literally anything I could imagine or think of I could do. All I do now is work, cook, clean and parent, there isn’t time for anything else. If I do get any free time, it’s post 8pm when the kids go to bed and I’m too tired from the day to do much more than sit in front of the TV and scroll on my phone. It’s such a crappy life. The kids needs are never ending, someone’s always in my space and requiring my attention, even if they just want to play, I feel like everything’s draining. I don’t want to play, or cook, or clean or do family admin etc., every task that fills my day now is not one that I would choose, all of them are required to keep the family running and someone has to do them, so I do, my husband is really helpful and we share the load pretty evenly but even so, we still both feel permanently burnt out. I can organise some extra time away from the kids etc. and I have done; feels great while I have that time but it’s always only a cpl hours, or a day max. and the second I have to go back to reality I hate my life again. I long for my pre-child life and all the wonderful things I could do with a day, presently i probably get about 10-30mins of each day to choose something for me and it’s not enough, I didn’t know how hard this was going to be and now I’m here and I don’t like it and I feel stuck. What can I do?

angry,sad,confusing feelings after breakup

replies: 1

i was broken up with about three weeks ago , and i have really been struggling since then. i was mentally ill before that, but now it is much worse. i am having intense, bipolar feelings about her. when i think about my ex, i feel sad, dismal, low, v... View more

i was broken up with about three weeks ago , and i have really been struggling since then. i was mentally ill before that, but now it is much worse. i am having intense, bipolar feelings about her. when i think about my ex, i feel sad, dismal, low, very very depressed. when i see her, i feel so angry i could explode. when i picture her in my mind, i feel love and i miss her. I'm so tired of thinking about her all the time. i wish i could erase my memories of her. I'd be better off that way. i don't want to not have her in my life. she's a really good person. but these feelings i've been having are so intense, and i don't know if they'll ever go away. the thought of never speaking to her again is terrifying- but why do i feel that way when i'm so uncontrollably angry at her? i don't know what to do, i feel pretty hopeless

Feeling emotionally overwhelmed in my relationship

replies: 1

I feel emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed lately.I’m in a relationship where another girl developed feelings for my partner, and even though he says he chose me, the situation has been going on for months and it deeply affected my sense of safety ... View more

I feel emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed lately.I’m in a relationship where another girl developed feelings for my partner, and even though he says he chose me, the situation has been going on for months and it deeply affected my sense of safety and trust.I feel constantly anxious and triggered whenever I see her name or hear about her. It got to the point where I can’t calm my thoughts down and I feel like I’m emotionally breaking apart inside.I know I’ve become reactive and emotional, but I also feel hurt because my intuition about the situation turned out to be real. I’m struggling with jealousy, fear of abandonment, anxiety and feeling like I’m “not enough”.At the same time, I still love him and I don’t want to destroy the relationship. I just don’t know how to stop feeling this constant panic and emotional pain.I think I need help learning how to calm my mind and feel safe in myself again.I also think an important part of this is that I never fully healed emotionally after being betrayed before in this relationship.I forgave him because I truly love him and wanted us to move forward, but I think a part of me still stayed scared and emotionally unsafe inside.Now this situation with another girl having feelings for him is bringing all of those old fears and wounds back to the surface again.It makes everything feel more intense, and sometimes I feel like I’m constantly waiting to get hurt again even when I don’t want to think that way.What also makes it harder is that she is still constantly around him and often takes his emotional attention even during the time that is supposed to be ours together.I understand that she is struggling and I truly don’t want to be cruel or heartless, but emotionally it has become extremely overwhelming for me.I don’t want to become controlling or toxic. I just feel emotionally exhausted from constantly feeling anxious, triggered and emotionally unsafe in my own relationship.

Pinned discussions

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

All discussions

Breakup

replies: 2

Financial manipulation adult son

replies: 3

Worried about our marriage

replies: 4

The never ending saga

replies: 2

I need a starting point

replies: 3

family feels wrong and broken

replies: 5

My Girlfriends parents found out about us and made her break up with me

replies: 1

I don’t like being a parent

replies: 30

angry,sad,confusing feelings after breakup

replies: 1

Feeling emotionally overwhelmed in my relationship

replies: 1

Relationship and family issues

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about replies: 0

Breakup replies: 2

Financial manipulation adult son replies: 3

Worried about our marriage replies: 4

The never ending saga replies: 2

I need a starting point replies: 3

family feels wrong and broken replies: 5

My Girlfriends parents found out about us and made her break up with me replies: 1

I don’t like being a parent replies: 30

angry,sad,confusing feelings after breakup replies: 1

Feeling emotionally overwhelmed in my relationship replies: 1

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

Breakup

replies: 2

Financial manipulation adult son

replies: 3

Worried about our marriage

replies: 4

The never ending saga

replies: 2

I need a starting point

replies: 3

family feels wrong and broken

replies: 5

My Girlfriends parents found out about us and made her break up with me

replies: 1

I don’t like being a parent

replies: 30

angry,sad,confusing feelings after breakup

replies: 1

Feeling emotionally overwhelmed in my relationship

replies: 1