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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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edensgarden I found out she was the feeling the happiest to let go of me
  • replies: 2

hai pretty sad update I found out she was the happiest ever to cut me an her friends off i dont understand we had such a good time to now nothing I cant help but miss her I keep crying daily thinking bout what it could of been everytime I talk to oth... View more

hai pretty sad update I found out she was the happiest ever to cut me an her friends off i dont understand we had such a good time to now nothing I cant help but miss her I keep crying daily thinking bout what it could of been everytime I talk to others im reminded of her precence.

SGD Insensitive partner
  • replies: 3

Hi, I am putting this to understand am I actually wrong. After one miscarriage in past again I was 2 months pregnant. I clearly stated everyone in my family that for atleast initial 3 months I dont want to rat particular cusine. It was my husband’s s... View more

Hi, I am putting this to understand am I actually wrong. After one miscarriage in past again I was 2 months pregnant. I clearly stated everyone in my family that for atleast initial 3 months I dont want to rat particular cusine. It was my husband’s sister anniversary and they planned place where I had no choice of food. I told my husband i want to stay at home and he can join then if it is very important. My husband got angry and blamed me of not understanding sentiments of his sisters child who opted for that option. Bow my argument is that my unborn childs health should be more important to him than his family at this stage. After this he stopped asking me about my health or if I need anything. I want to know the opinions am I actually wrong????

KT87 Am I asking too much ?
  • replies: 2

So it’s a long story but I had a baby a few months ago and got very bad severe PPD to the point of feeling suicidal .I got severe insomnia which I still struggle with and am on pills to sleep . Baby is sleeping better but not me I have been a lot bet... View more

So it’s a long story but I had a baby a few months ago and got very bad severe PPD to the point of feeling suicidal .I got severe insomnia which I still struggle with and am on pills to sleep . Baby is sleeping better but not me I have been a lot better since having Zoloft mentally. The whole thing has been very hard for my partner he basically took all night feeds till 3am for a few months while working . Now that I am recovering he is just doing the 9pm and 12am feed I do 12am if he commutes to the office and then he sleeps till 8 or so during the week or longer on weekends . I get up with baby every day at 5-6am . I do all the housework , prep baby’s food bottles etc and I do bedtime every night bath , bottle , book he takes over for the next feed at 9pm . I am also doing all the housework , prepping the bottles , laundry etc. The thing that annoys me is he never offers to help with bedtime even on the weekends I asked him to bathe the baby and he said I’ve never done that !! I have told him it’s exhausting looking after a baby all day and he said at least you don’t have deadlines . He has also used my PPD to guilt me and say that the last few months have been really hard for him ( before I started to recover ) . He also plays video games during the day on the weekends and during the week when I am doing bedtime or looking after baby . I am starting to feel resentful but I don’t know if I am asking to much as I’m on mat leave and the previous few months he basically took over night feeds ? Am I being unreasonable wanting him to help more?

CathyC Escape or survive a loveless marriage?
  • replies: 55

I'm 45 and my husband is 49. We've been married 11 years, with two kids aged 8 and 6. We haven’t had sex in more than 6 years. We’ve slept in separate beds for at least 5 years. There is zero affection or physical contact. (Before we had kids, no rea... View more

I'm 45 and my husband is 49. We've been married 11 years, with two kids aged 8 and 6. We haven’t had sex in more than 6 years. We’ve slept in separate beds for at least 5 years. There is zero affection or physical contact. (Before we had kids, no real issues.) Over the years I have tried to address this many times. My husband was diagnosed with depression and low testosterone, but stopped taking his medication as he insisted it didn’t work. I’m not sure if he is still depressed - he seems content to live in this loveless and sexless marriage. I begged him to try counselling, which he did for a few sessions about 2 years ago. Then I joined for 2 sessions - before he refused to go back. He didn't tell me - he just didn’t go back, despite me asking him to go several times. In the sessions I attended, he asked me not to nag him about our relationship and give him space. I did this and nothing happened. He has never once in all these years instigated a discussion of these issues. At least on three occasions, having lost patience, I told him I wanted a divorce. He just says ok, then jumps into action, looking for somewhere to rent, etc. After me venting, he agrees to couples counselling - but never goes through with it. He just carries on as usual until the next time I get angry or upset. Apart from this, he has not lifted a finger to save our marriage. He just says we should stay together ‘for the kids’. I really don’t matter to him at all. In my darkest moments I feel he also wants to stay together because I brought a lot more into the marriage financially (he had nothing). I can barely stand to be in the same room as him now and avoid conversation. It’s hard to describe just how humiliating and lonely it’s been. He knows I’m very unhappy, but never asks me about it. Instead, he commonly treats me with disdain, rolling his eyes or dismissing anything I say. The therapist even pulled him up on this, but he doesn’t get it. If I raise I’m unhappy in any way whatsoever, he’ll turn away, raise his hand up to motion me to stop speaking and yell, ‘Get a divorce then.’ I'm being forced to accept this loveless, sexless marriage - or else. I’m heartbroken because I really wanted my kids to have a stable, ‘normal’ family life. I never wanted a divorce, but what choice do I have? How do people stay married just ‘for the kids’? I’m so very lonely and tired of keeping up appearances. I’ve kept all of this to myself all these years and it has truly become unbearable.

Rosiejane Lost
  • replies: 4

Hi I am feeling lost, I do not know where would I put this.. I feeling lost and I am feeling little depressed lately that I do not know where to go.. I have a long distance relationship with my partner who is incarcerated in the US max prison.. every... View more

Hi I am feeling lost, I do not know where would I put this.. I feeling lost and I am feeling little depressed lately that I do not know where to go.. I have a long distance relationship with my partner who is incarcerated in the US max prison.. everything was very good but I would not say smelling flowers as yeah we had good and bad days like most all relationships.. but 2 weeks he got taken out with an stretcher and he got put into hospital.. well at the start he was put on a ventilator but now I finally his heath is improving… I get the updated news from his mother and brother over the phone but my heart aches.. but i can not tell them how I feel as that’s her son and brother so of cause they feel and suffering more then me right now, so I do not want to feel a burden on them.. I got my family here; there more of old school, everything would be fine but I do not feel fine; I feel my depression coming on.. he can not contact me and I can not contact him.. so I feeling a little bit of a strain rn..

Guest_08434089 Navigating others opinions on your breakup
  • replies: 1

Hi guys, so about nine months ago I broke up with my boyfriend and I guess seven months ago I cut off a friendship with my best friend who was also my boyfriend to give you a time frame. Since then, in most social gatherings I have dealt with people ... View more

Hi guys, so about nine months ago I broke up with my boyfriend and I guess seven months ago I cut off a friendship with my best friend who was also my boyfriend to give you a time frame. Since then, in most social gatherings I have dealt with people bringing up my ex in a negative light. People will jump to any opportunity to criticise my actions, and my choices or boyfriends and say really cruel stuff about my ex and his personality or his looks. So friends will almost attack me for dating my ex and attack our relationship. A lot of it comes from assumptions as nobody really knew our relationship. At first, I never told anybody about our break up but as soon as I did nine months down the line I am still dealing with a lot of name-calling and negative comments about my ex in our relationship. Although, our relationship wasn’t meant to be - he was still my best friend and I loved him with everything in my heart. I am doing a lot better and I am happier but it’s still really hurts and I’m still mourning the loss of my friendship and relationship. Every few months kind of comes with a new wave of mourning, as more time passes without talking and anniversaries come up. Sometimes, on my close friends on Instagram. I will make silly posts about a photo of us together and then a year later a photo of me in the same place but without him as a way of journaling and conceptualising and moving forward. My friends criticise me for thinking about him or doing that but then bring him up and say really nasty things about him and it doesn’t feel helpful and it just hurts me and I don’t really know what to do or if they have earned the right to do that. Since, they apparently didn’t like him or our relationship this entire time and maybe this is their way of venting-but I’m not really asking for it. And I think I’ve made it clear, that I don’t like it or maybe this is them trying to save me from i’m thinking about it and maybe they just are trying to help me. I don’t really know what I can do or how I can be less hurt by it. Any advice? All I know is I feel cornered and I walk away feeling angry. It doesn’t seem helpful or supportive. Most of my friends don’t even ask if I am ok? They just bash him and then say he’s old news and to move on. I know it’s been awhile, but it still is hard sometimes. Sometimes I get really sad - none of my friends have gone through this. I feel alone. My friend does make jokes about “how lonely” i am. i felt more lonely in that relationship. but i feel alone in what im going through. but i don’t feel lonely that im single? how can i stop them from saying these things about me and him. i loved him. surely that means something?

C1234 My husband is in love with someone else and wants to leave me for her
  • replies: 3

I am completely broken inside and have nobody to talk to as I don’t want family or friends knowing what’s going on but losing my mind. I just recently discovered my husband is having an affair as he left his phone open on messages & fell asleep. I ap... View more

I am completely broken inside and have nobody to talk to as I don’t want family or friends knowing what’s going on but losing my mind. I just recently discovered my husband is having an affair as he left his phone open on messages & fell asleep. I approached him about it and he admitted it’s been going on for almost 4 years. 4 years ago we were separated due to Covid and while he was trapped in our original home country and us in Australia his dad passed away. Whilst this happened I had fallen into a rut and was drinking a lot and got drunk and wasn’t there for him when his dad passed away and I fought with him in my drunken state. I also worked so hard that I lived past him when after 10 months of being apart from us he was finally able to come back to Australia. I then continued to drink and hurt him pushing him away from me by my actions and fighting all the time. About 18 months ago I stopped drinking and changed my ways as he was ready to divorce me then. I also have a son who was a nightmare step son to him. This woman met him while he was in a very dark place and became friends with him supporting him through all the tough times. He is in love with her as they became friends and then fell in love. He has claimed that he is physically attracted to me way more than her and it’s an emotional bond they share which he can’t give to me as I hurt him so much. About a year and 3 months ago I fell pregnant and his reaction was not good. We since had our baby and I have just found out about this going on and I don’t know who to turn to. We are still intimate sexually in a big way but he is shut off to me emotionally and I’m afraid he leaves. I have completely changed, stopped drinking etc and want to work on our marriage. I used to be very stubborn, defensive and very disrespectful however I have worked hard to change all those traits and I have been showering him with affection the past 15 months. Just need to get this off my chest and see if anyone can offer any good advice

Kim24 Help with son wanting to date someone online.
  • replies: 2

So my just turned 18yr old son has just come out to tell his dad and I he has feelings for someone he made friends with online about 6yrs ago. Now this friend is born a male but wants to become a female.It orginally all started with he wanted to come... View more

So my just turned 18yr old son has just come out to tell his dad and I he has feelings for someone he made friends with online about 6yrs ago. Now this friend is born a male but wants to become a female.It orginally all started with he wanted to come over and meet my son and hang out. Then we got told he was male but wants to transition into a female. Now my son has always had issue with anxiety and never has gone out. He has always been a home boy. I feel like this friend of his is putting pressure on him to be in a relationship and is trying to control him. I never thought my son felt like this and im confused and don't know what to do. I feel like this friend seem like he is sucking my son in as my son isn't really mature enough yet in my opinion. He has never gone out and experienced things in real life. I would love some help.I just dont think my son should have a relationship with this person but how do I stop it.In the 7yrs they have only ever spoke online. Now this friend is 19yr old.My head is all over the place and I don't know what to do.

Stormgirl2012 He's a pathological liar!!!!!
  • replies: 1

Me ex is a a pathological liar - I cottoned on just over a year ago when he started telling some pretty far fetched and unbelievable stories when challenged on certain things. I've caught him out with hard, fast proof yet he still looked me in the ey... View more

Me ex is a a pathological liar - I cottoned on just over a year ago when he started telling some pretty far fetched and unbelievable stories when challenged on certain things. I've caught him out with hard, fast proof yet he still looked me in the eye and denied. He's really ramped up since perhaps September last year. The things he has lied about since they, you wouldn't believe! Now we are no longer together I only have contact with him regarding the rental we lived in together when I left him. This weekend takes the cake, though. Supposedly taken to hospital by ambulance as he injured himself. I wake up to a message through his WhatsApp from a so called nurse saying he had surgery and there were complications and is in high dependency etc. Didn't say which hospital or anything. I am still his next of kin as he hasn't changed it - I would have thought they'd ring as he wouldn't have access to his phone if the story is correct. Upon calling all the major hospitals around, there is no trace of him and it's been confirmed there was no ambulance pick up yesterday evening. How do you stop stuff like this doing your head in? Love to hear from anyone who's in a similar boat please!

Guest_10089 my relationship with my dad is not good and I need advice
  • replies: 9

my dad cheat on my mum a long time ago and he had a lots of girlfriend at the time when I was growing up and he care more about woman the me abd then he meet someone and he got engaged and then married within two years in 2013 and my sister was a bri... View more

my dad cheat on my mum a long time ago and he had a lots of girlfriend at the time when I was growing up and he care more about woman the me abd then he meet someone and he got engaged and then married within two years in 2013 and my sister was a bridesmaids and I was not that hurt my feelings and plus my dad doesn't understand my intellectual disability it was hard for me too cope plus he never ring or text me on my birthday or Christmas and I try too reach out in the past but it didn't work and I try and suggest things but he didn't want too do it and now I'm still hurting from it and I hold onto this pain for years and I don't know what too do now