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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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LSM Parenting guilt causing depressive episodes
  • replies: 7

I am a mother and I love my children but I have constant guilt about the fact that my mental heath issues and disabilities that I didn’t know I had have been passed to them. I don’t know how to work past this. I feel so guilty that I have bought them... View more

I am a mother and I love my children but I have constant guilt about the fact that my mental heath issues and disabilities that I didn’t know I had have been passed to them. I don’t know how to work past this. I feel so guilty that I have bought them to this world and they are suffering like I did as a child and I hate that I can’t take it back. I don’t want to change them I just want life to be easier for them because I know how hard it was for me. Why couldn’t their fathers genes have won why did they have to be like me I have diagnosed depression, anxiety and ADHD and undiagnosed autism. I see a psychiatrist and a psychologist but I can’t break these feelings of guilt and unworthiness I feel like I am never able to get things right. I try and make things they will eat and they don’t like it. I make things I know they like and something always seems to go wrong I don’t know if this is all in my head but I feel so broken and guilty and I hate it.

Belb Trying to understand this loss
  • replies: 4

I ask please for kindness and understanding. I am currently navigating through a separation and deep depression. My husband of 21 years has fallen into a deep depression himself and recently it was revealed that he had been msusing alcohol as a means... View more

I ask please for kindness and understanding. I am currently navigating through a separation and deep depression. My husband of 21 years has fallen into a deep depression himself and recently it was revealed that he had been msusing alcohol as a means to cope with his depression and suicidal thoughts. I had been suspicious of his substance abuse but was made to feel that ot was all in my mind until he ended up in detox in a psychiatric unit and the full gravity of what was happening all became revealed. I have watched my husband become a version of himself that I no longer recognise. We separated around 6 weeks ago and he has asked that I not be involved in his mental health. I am trying to respect his wishes as he tries to heal and find peace. My mental health has plummeted through the year and I am deeply traumatised by what has happened. Around 7 months ago he was placed on a medication that induced a psychosis like state and attempted to strangle and smother me whilst repeating.. you will never bring up my alcohol use again. I had kept the drinking secret as I was so fearful of society's judgement. Especially from the church. But after the mentioned event the trauma in the body just took over and I watched his drinking get worse. Right now I am coming to terms with the reality that we may not reconcile in the near future. And I am trying to move forward. This has just been crushing. I am seeing a psychologist but continue to struggle with the fact that he has shut me out and doesn't want me to know where he is at. I am dealing with the weight and guilt of what people may be saying. I want to make clear.. our marriage was by no means perfect. It has endured many challenges and I am continuing to grow. This grieving is so difficult. I have to believe other people have gone through this type of situation and I am not alone.

Guest_65584037 Marriage Breakdown
  • replies: 2

I have been married to my husband for 18 years. And he has told me he has lost interest in me and it is my fault. I am at a loss with where to go from here. We have two kids and I don’t particularly want a divorce but I cannot talk to my husband abou... View more

I have been married to my husband for 18 years. And he has told me he has lost interest in me and it is my fault. I am at a loss with where to go from here. We have two kids and I don’t particularly want a divorce but I cannot talk to my husband about it because he gets too cranky. He lacks empathy and continually gaslights me.

Chris01 Functional depression
  • replies: 3

Hiwas hoping someone may be able to give me some advice, I suspect that I have functional depression after reading up on things . I drink to excess and often argue with my wife. I don’t drink all the time but lately If I have one drink I continue til... View more

Hiwas hoping someone may be able to give me some advice, I suspect that I have functional depression after reading up on things . I drink to excess and often argue with my wife. I don’t drink all the time but lately If I have one drink I continue till I pass out. I know something is a miss but can’t work out what it is ?? I hold down my job no worries and most things are fine but just can’t seem to get myself sorted out. any advice or experience on this type of thing would be greatly appreciated

Gothgirl87 Interfering in laws
  • replies: 9

Hi I'm 28 married with a young daughter. I'm tired of my in laws wanting to control everything. My sister in law is a liar, snoop, bully and verbally abusive. She moved back last year. She constantly lies and turns my in laws against me. Yesterday sh... View more

Hi I'm 28 married with a young daughter. I'm tired of my in laws wanting to control everything. My sister in law is a liar, snoop, bully and verbally abusive. She moved back last year. She constantly lies and turns my in laws against me. Yesterday she lied again and said I verbally abused her. What to do? She's spoilt rotten and my in laws never tell her off, unlike my husband. She always has some insult. My mother in law is extremely pushy and controlling. She is Catholic and thinks she can judge everyone. My daughter was unplanned and I found out I was pregnant with her, after I lost my job. We were living with them. She is a complete cow and didn't remotely care about how I felt or that I was running out of savings. Now my sister in law has had trouble with her paid internship. Yet they're worried about and she is in nowhere near dire circumstances as I was. What to do? Both completely cross boundaries

Eurovision_Fan Unhappy Families
  • replies: 1

Hi. I am a minor who struggles with being LGBTQ+ in a household where such things aren't really spoken about. My father is unkind and I often end up crying in my room at night because I can't show my feelings in front of others. My mother is good, bu... View more

Hi. I am a minor who struggles with being LGBTQ+ in a household where such things aren't really spoken about. My father is unkind and I often end up crying in my room at night because I can't show my feelings in front of others. My mother is good, but she often ends up doing what he wants because we don't want to make him mad. I always plan out these long discussions in my head where we talk and reach a resolution, but I know he would insist he was right. I now just stay silent when he walks in. Sometimes it feels like nothing will ever change. I can't wait to move out once I finish high school in a few years, but I'm worried that my father will try to stay in contact and I really don't want that. This is all at least 4 years away, but I'm still worried. Can someone give me advice?

Jan Worrying
  • replies: 5

My son is an alcoholic and has had a terrible last few months following a relationship breakdown. He was so unwell with 36 hours of drinking straight at one point , ambulance visits and two attempts of suicide. Through some good medical treatment he ... View more

My son is an alcoholic and has had a terrible last few months following a relationship breakdown. He was so unwell with 36 hours of drinking straight at one point , ambulance visits and two attempts of suicide. Through some good medical treatment he is getting back on track but I find myself worrying about him so much of the time. We don’t live together, he is 36. His sister is also deciding to “have a break” from the issues at the moment and that causes me to get even more upset. I have my own mental health problems. Any suggestions on getting stronger?

Geoff7 How am i going to survive this?
  • replies: 1

hello all I had some addiction issues with gambling for a couple of years, i haven't gambled since Oct-23. During Oct-23 i took LSL because my brain was fried and had 5 months off from my job. The aim was to recover, work with a counsellor around my ... View more

hello all I had some addiction issues with gambling for a couple of years, i haven't gambled since Oct-23. During Oct-23 i took LSL because my brain was fried and had 5 months off from my job. The aim was to recover, work with a counsellor around my addiction and to re-set. Once i stopped gambling i fell into a severe depression which had a negative effect on my relationship of a decade. I went to see my GP and was prescribed some anti-depressants which initially helped. I eventually went back to work in Mar-24, however after a couple of months i again fell into severe depression and anxiety. This was too much for my partner and she ended up leaving me around this time. I checked myself into a clinic and got intensive help and was diagnosed with MDD and BPD. Me and my ex partner didn't talk for about 4 months but recently reconnected. She doesn't want to get back together and there has been no attempt at reconciliation/counselling etc. Which is painful after 10 years. Just recently she called me to tell me she is moving states. Devastated is an understatement. I love this woman, i always have, and saw a life together. Since then i feel like I've reverted back to how i felt after the initial breakup. I'm dissociated, i feel like i'm not in my body. Like a ghost coasting through life. I'm on countdown to the date she goes. I messaged her to tell her how i feel and would like to reconnect. She just responded by saying, i don't know what to say, i'm leaving. There is already a deep sense of loss and a void, even after 9 months. This news has really brought me close to the edge. I completely blame myself for everything that has happened and can't see a life without this person. I moved from overseas to Australia in 2012 and we met in 2013, she is all i know. What the hell am i going to do?

Hue I have no where else to go.
  • replies: 3

My mother was abusive. She hit me when I had a stuttering problem because she convinced herself that I did it on purpose. She would lock me in a dark room until I stopped crying, and now I can't help but flinch at a sudden raised hand, and I'm scared... View more

My mother was abusive. She hit me when I had a stuttering problem because she convinced herself that I did it on purpose. She would lock me in a dark room until I stopped crying, and now I can't help but flinch at a sudden raised hand, and I'm scared of the dark. She was a heavy alcoholic, and now she has moved on with another family, getting to live out the rest of her life in a stable home whilst I'm left picking up the pieces of myself that she left behind. She told me that I'd be raped if I wore Z, Y, and Z, and she destroyed my confidence to the point where it's still difficult to make friends. My father is emotionally absent. He went as far to tell me that "It's normal" when I mentioned wanting therapy for my suicidal thoughts, denying me any outside help. He has told me to "stop sulking and acting sad around the house" because it brings everyone else down. Now, I suppress any negative emotions so no one else can see vulnerability.So, I thought that my step mum was my second chance, a mother who may love me the way I want to be loved. But she has punched walls just because someone ate her food in the fridge, left dents in the fridge from her knuckles, smashed plates to the floor when they weren't cleaned properly. Her temper is something that I've never seen from anyone else, but it can be "justified" because--as she says it--she's never laid a hand on any of us, so she can't be that bad, right? She can be very nasty, and her double standards are insane... If we do something small like turning the dishwasher on when it is only half full, she will shout across the house for easily up to an hour about the waste of water, but God forbid if anyone points out any mistake she makes. I'm in a constant state of fawn or freeze, and it's absolutely exhausting.When I realized that they can only agree with "hurt people hurt people" when they are the victim, I also realized that they'll never understand my feelings, no matter how much I plead for them to. I resent them, but I love them so, so much. The only reason why I'm still here is because of the excitement on my father's face when I agree to watch a movie with him, the fear in his eyes and his shaky hands when he did almost lose me, the thought of him growing old without a daughter. A parent should never have to bury a child... but being a parent doesn't give you the right to make me feel like that's an option. I want to feel like I'm not alone.

Wren2 Husband always angry, never happy and becomes quite horrible to our sons
  • replies: 3

Hi , first time poster here so excuse long post. I could go on forever this behaviour has happened on and off our whole relationship. I thought I knew better I’ve been married once before and he was very controlling and emotionally abusive but it see... View more

Hi , first time poster here so excuse long post. I could go on forever this behaviour has happened on and off our whole relationship. I thought I knew better I’ve been married once before and he was very controlling and emotionally abusive but it seems I ended up in a similar situation. Long story short we have been together for 19 years , we did separate once but I gave him another chance and didn’t want to be that on again off again couple. But lately I feel like I’m at my limit. He’s always angry at the world, he never takes responsibility for his mistakes, if I say something hd just yells , he’s horrible to our boys I feel like I’m always on edge just micro managing situations to try and stop him from going off. If I try and talk to him he just says “I’ve fn had enough , I’ll just leave” and makes me feel bad I try and say that’s not what I’m saying that I’m asking what’s going on with him and he always threatens to leave. He has lost two jobs in the last 12 months because of his attitude but it’s always someone else’s fault, but the only common denominator I see is him. I’m sick of feeling like I’m not enough, he’s never happy and says he never will be, jokes about dying, he refuses to get help says it’s just the way he is and if I don’t like it then he will go. Through our relationship it’s always been like this highs and lows when he’s good he’s caring fun when he’s low he’s mean and cold, the lows are getting more often I’ve tried to help but he don’t take it and I just don’t want to live the rest of my life having to feel like this and always worrying if he’s going to blow up at me or our sons or anyone that just says the wrong thing when he’s in one of his moods. I just really needs to say some of this stuff outside. I feel stuck, I know I’m not but it feels that way. Thanks for reading