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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Guest_51504063 Horrible “situationship”
  • replies: 3

I met this guy in 2024 when I was 19, since then the way he treats me directly impacts my mental health. We never even dated however we’ve slept together a few times and after the third time in February this year I asked to see him again and he ghost... View more

I met this guy in 2024 when I was 19, since then the way he treats me directly impacts my mental health. We never even dated however we’ve slept together a few times and after the third time in February this year I asked to see him again and he ghosted me, this has since sent me into a massive depressive episode where I’m spending everyday obsessing over him and hoping he’ll come back even though he’s never treated me right. I feel like I’ll never be able to get over him and am constantly comparing myself to girls he’s friends with. I have no idea if I’ll ever be able to get over him, I feel like the happiest I’d ever been was when he was constantly responding to me and wanted to see me but now that it’s over I feel constantly sad. I hope that one day I can move on and not feel this way about him but I’m so scared that I never will.

Guest_94486838 Isolated
  • replies: 1

I'm here alone in the dark most times as others live out in the light and enjoy the air. I thrive to gain ME back during the next part. The part when my kids finally come home to their right parent safe and sound as they are now 7 and 13. I'm fairly ... View more

I'm here alone in the dark most times as others live out in the light and enjoy the air. I thrive to gain ME back during the next part. The part when my kids finally come home to their right parent safe and sound as they are now 7 and 13. I'm fairly new to the Gold coast and have no friends up here and I'm pretty lonely since my ex husband had my children removed for I don't even know any legal reasons other than me being a protective mother. My kids and I started off strong and have battled mental health issues whilst being separated from each other. Which thier dad carried on care free and greedy. I hope we can all group together and think of our children when going through a seperation as they have been left last in my eyes against the system. Why do others get help before the children? During the seperation, I kept my differences aside for my ex to remain an active parent. He took advantage of us in that situation and I was more than giving to him when he turned his back on his own blood as he does now and doesn't care for thier well-being as much as I wanted the father of my kids to be. That's my fault and I won't be making the same mistake again in the next chapter of my life. I hope for love peace happiness and unity from now on.

Guest_50972490 My life feels like it will be forever controlled
  • replies: 1

My mother from a young age used to treat me like dirt , when smacking she would really hit hard , she would always fight with my father and kick him out , also would hit him too ( and being close with him would really stress me out ) I have developed... View more

My mother from a young age used to treat me like dirt , when smacking she would really hit hard , she would always fight with my father and kick him out , also would hit him too ( and being close with him would really stress me out ) I have developed ocd and there has been a massive fear of leaving home ( even thought she controls what I do and puts me down ) and I need to move out now and the the cycle of fights is starting again I have no where to go as I can’t get a place and have no other family to run to that aren’t already making the situation worse with Easter coming up , I really don’t want to be home with themi feel forever stuck

twolegsjoe Depression Stemming from Inability to Find Romantic Partners
  • replies: 1

Hi, Went through a break-up from a very long term relationship (just shy of 10 years) last year, had no major issues with this at first, was working on myself, trying to get my mental and physical health all sorted, settling into a new state etc. All... View more

Hi, Went through a break-up from a very long term relationship (just shy of 10 years) last year, had no major issues with this at first, was working on myself, trying to get my mental and physical health all sorted, settling into a new state etc. All seemed to be going great for a while - I finally felt like the meds I was taking were making a difference, my physical health issues were beginning to subside, was fitting out my new house and meeting a couple of friends in my new city. But my mental health is starting to slip, and I know it stems from my inability to make meaningful romantic encounters. I've been trying to approach people at bars and clubs and very rare social gatherings that come my way, and have been using dating apps, none of which I seem to have any luck with. I know this is very broad, of course you can't see exactly how these things go down for me, but I felt the need to get some kind of input on this as I simply have no idea what my problem is. Friends past and current, regardless of gender, say that I'm attractive, well dressed and groomed, confident, charming and funny, and don't seem to get why I wouldn't be able to get anywhere with potential partners. On dating sites I match with hardly anybody - over the last 4 months of regular use, I think I've matches with maybe 4 people that have actually engaged in a conversation with me, and only one occasion that amounted to anything physical. In real life, I've only had one sexual encounter that I enjoyed, and one other where I was chewed up and spat out very quickly. It's really beginning to wear me down and causing me to lose my confidence - it feels like I'm relapsing into my depression and undoing all of the work I've been putting in over the last year. Only other things I haven't tried are speed-dating, which sounds incredibly depressing to be honest, and meeting people through clubs and extracurricular activities, which I find it very hard to believe is how people find short-term romantic encounters. For full context, I have no idea for an immediate, fully-fledged relationship, I'm just trying to find intimacy like many other people do. If anybody has any potential insight, I'm all ears. If there are any further details that I can provide to better inform advice, I'm happy to provide that as well.

Perry Four months post medical abortion
  • replies: 1

I had a medical abortion at the start of December, I have three children, 16,14,12. I separated from my ex in August 25 after 13 years during that not protecting myself against pregnancy happening. I met a new partner, September 25, and fell pregnant... View more

I had a medical abortion at the start of December, I have three children, 16,14,12. I separated from my ex in August 25 after 13 years during that not protecting myself against pregnancy happening. I met a new partner, September 25, and fell pregnant 4 weeks after,a week before I found out I was pregnant, the new partner was booked in for a vasectomy which had obviously been on the cards for a while for him. I know at the time I felt funny about him having one but knowing someone for only a few short weeks and not knowing where it was all going I was not in any position to say what are you doing( I should add I am 37 and he is 49). I was having pains so after the first few weeks of going through dr appointments, even an overnight stay in hospital having a small procedure after they though I was having an ectopic (wasn’t) and bleeding a lot after surgery I thought I had lost it but monitoring my hcg levels every two days so which turned out I was still in fact pregnant. I then scheduled an appointment at my local hospital for my options, knowing my very fresh partner didn’t want further children, I was always very sure I would never go through an abortion in saying I also thought I would not fall pregnant but here I was. I felt I had everyone around me put so much pressure on me about aborting, surprisingly the only person that told me not to do it was my ex partner as he said you won’t be okay moving forward after it. After a few short weeks that flew by I found myself at 8 weeks and scheduled a further hospital appointment to terminate- I pushed this back a few times. The day came I did not want anyone to come to the appointment with me purely because I thought I would not actually do it, but sitting outside the hospital December 1st, my appointment was scheduled for 1pm to take the the first initial medical abortion pill but it took me 45 mins of crying outside, a phone call from the partner and a friend passing seeing me before I dragged myself in. Still crying saying to the nurse is this normal to cry this much. I just sat there and before I knew it I just swallowed the tablet i thought I quicker I do it then what is done is done. Two days later I took the second pill and within a few hours I felt I was in labour- was the worst thing I have experienced. Now I have so much regret and sadness I feel I can’t get rid of, I am always thinking what if? If my partner was able to I would be trying actively trying

Guest_96730108 Separation
  • replies: 2

Hi all it’s been 2 weeks since it’s come to my attention I have self sabotaged my 14 year marriage. My husband is a great guy it’s not his fault I pushed him away unintentionally through no intimacy he says we are more like friends. I don’t feel this... View more

Hi all it’s been 2 weeks since it’s come to my attention I have self sabotaged my 14 year marriage. My husband is a great guy it’s not his fault I pushed him away unintentionally through no intimacy he says we are more like friends. I don’t feel this way I am shattered it was my own doing in this marriage he says he’s numb and it’s like a stone wall. How did I get here.. what do I do now? We have a son together with special needs My husband says he’s not going to kick me out and he is actually wanting to teach me to be independent I know self care is important but I’m not eating or sleeping I’m throwing myself into work to distract me I have Dr appointment next Wednesday for blood results, I love him so much but I don’t want him miserable Don’t know what to do Sorry and thank you for reading

Guest_15188171 Giving up
  • replies: 2

We have been in a sexless marriage for at least the last 15 years, but I suspect longer. Have been married for over 35 years. Sex just stopped immediately when menopause hit. No explanation, no communication, just intamacy was off the agenda. So for ... View more

We have been in a sexless marriage for at least the last 15 years, but I suspect longer. Have been married for over 35 years. Sex just stopped immediately when menopause hit. No explanation, no communication, just intamacy was off the agenda. So for the last 15 years my sex life has been like this. No sex at all for 6 months and I try my hardest not to react and don't pressure her, but this amount of time seems to be my limit. I try and convince myself not to react but end up asking why there is no sex. She goes absolutely apeshit at me and then the next 2 days are unbaraeable. She then initiates make up sex and then no sex again for 6 months and so the cycle continues. I have begged and pleaded to know what is going on but she will not tell me. During this time she has told me that there is nothing wrong with a sexless marriage, that she never ever feels like sex and then this final recent comment which was the straw that broke the camel's back when she said there are things she could investigate to help regain her libido but she just can't be bothered. That’s when I gave up. This was only a few weeks ago. I was unbroken for 15 years but now I am a mess.I'll just add that in the bedroom I have been replaced by her phone which can keep her amused for hours. No hugs, no kiss goodbye night, nothingi might add that apart from sex things are great. We run together, attend a gym 6 days a week, go and see bands, go out for tea. I could go on.In desperation last week I arranged for us to see a therapist. I knew that I was pretty fragile but thought I had nothing to lose. The therapist listened, but went straight into recovery mode and suggested sheduled sex. No sure why, but I lost the plot completely and howled like a baby, had to leave the room and couldn't go back in. Probably a fault of mine but I haven't cried since I was a teenager so for me to break down was pretty serious. Since then things have been terrible. I cant exercise, hitting the beers and just eating junk. I have just given up. We have had a few discussions since, but my wife says she has done nothing wrong and that I have the problem. The ione pisitive is she finally told me why there is no sex and that's because if menopause , work pressure and kids. Shit, if she had just told me that once over the last 15 years I maybe could have helped.Trying not to be flippant, but its only sex, but this has just broken me. I am so unbelievably sad and at a total loss as to what to doI an not interested in separating and being truthful I am just resigned to a dead becroom and unhappiness. I have mates, many interests and a couple of great grandchildren who make me very happy. I just miss the closeness.Apologise if that was a bit of a rant but I needed to have somewhere to get it off my chest.

Dawnii Feeling overstimulated in class again :/
  • replies: 1

My immature classmates have been playing these extremely loud meme sounds, whilst making an extremely overstimulating environment.They won't stop no matter how many times the teacher tells them.My anxiety levels are at its peak and I have no idea wha... View more

My immature classmates have been playing these extremely loud meme sounds, whilst making an extremely overstimulating environment.They won't stop no matter how many times the teacher tells them.My anxiety levels are at its peak and I have no idea what to do!!Someone please give me some advice on how I can deal with my anxiety and my sensory needs.

Guest_51819445 Idk if my husband is having an affair
  • replies: 1

So here’s the story. He works overseas. Last year, may we had sex before he leaves for work again. Then he went back to our country again but never had sex then until now. So I’m just waiting for may this year so it’ll be official 1 year. Last time h... View more

So here’s the story. He works overseas. Last year, may we had sex before he leaves for work again. Then he went back to our country again but never had sex then until now. So I’m just waiting for may this year so it’ll be official 1 year. Last time he went home, he fetched us and come with him here in Australia. We’re living now on a hotel appartment. As I was cleaning the bedroom, i found a hair clamp under the bed. I asked him and said it was probably from the previous who rented the apartment. I felt the change on his behaviour ever since he worked here and he’s always on his phone. Most of the time I found him smirking in front of it. One time I approached him because I’m so curious about what he’s doing on his phone. And he immidiately dismisses me, trying his best to keep his phone away from me. Telling me stuffs, gaslighting me. I’ve been diagnosed with major depressive disorder 2 years ago and I’m on meds. Honestly my condition worsens because of our situation and now realizing that I have a weak support system. He mocks me about how he’s a good provider and make me feel like I’m useless because I don’t have a work. Well in fact, he’s the one who doesn’t want me to go to work before. And now that we’re here he’s forcing me to work. All these thoughts.. why he’s forcing me to work now? To bring his other woman in the apartment hotel? I told him about that and I felt like he’s manipulating me again. Why would he hide his phone to me knowing that I tend to overthink? Also the day before our anniversary? And after that he confess that he’s only looking at the flower’s website and he wants to surprise me so he doesn’t want me to see his phone. All of these I always think that he’s manipulating me. All these years that I’ve been battling with my condition. But the only thing that matters to him is how he’s making money and how good he is as a provider. Thinking that even my condition he doesn’t fully know. By the way I also have endometriosis. I’ve been diagnosed with that last year. It started from PCOS. All of these stress that I just kept inside of me. That my brother told me, I probably forgot how to feel normal. So for the the longest time being on survival mode because of my condition, I thought that it’s normal. I don’t know now what to do.

Witchy76 Husband issues
  • replies: 14

So I asked my husband to teach me to repot a pot plant, he showed me what to do but I tried and he was getting frustrated with me cos I was having trouble so I let him do it . Later on we made a 3d wooden puzzle together and I was trying to do someth... View more

So I asked my husband to teach me to repot a pot plant, he showed me what to do but I tried and he was getting frustrated with me cos I was having trouble so I let him do it . Later on we made a 3d wooden puzzle together and I was trying to do something and he’s getting annoyed cos I wasn’t passing it over, “your not listening “ etc so I walked away. we have had issues before because he prioritised friends over home life and he refuses to talk about it. Stone walls. So I threw my rings at him and told him I’m done etc then he calls me a psycho like his ex. He can be very rude in the way he speaks to me in general. He drinks a lot of wine and smokes pot 24/7. If we go past a cyclist he doesn’t do the one metre rule he does the 30cm rule. U can see the cyclist raising his fists and yelling out etc haven’t been married a year yet and I’m thinking I made the wrong decision to marry him to be honest. Don’t know what to do. Seems to blame everyone else for everything

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