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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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KezzaJ Dealing with separation from grandchildren.
  • replies: 1

Hello all. I'm a grandmother who has very recently become involved in the separation of my son & his long time partner & now I don't know what to do as I have no one to talk to about how to proceed. The separation is becoming quite heated as is the o... View more

Hello all. I'm a grandmother who has very recently become involved in the separation of my son & his long time partner & now I don't know what to do as I have no one to talk to about how to proceed. The separation is becoming quite heated as is the often the case with both parties inevitably ending up being the victims. My point is that I am being prevented from seeing my grandchildren & this is very distressing. I have had to take time off work because I am so upset about what is going on & how a person can be so vindictive & cruel to the people who have given nothing but love & respect. I can't afford to seek private legal services but am unsure about accessing legal aid. I'm so worried that all of this is going to go very badly for my son & that he will be the biggest loser in the end because the lawyer he has engaged doesn't seem to feel that there is any urgency in getting things in motion & that I won't be able to see my grandchildren as often. Where do I go from here? Who do I contact other than a counselling service?

Safran Responding to partner's hygiene habits
  • replies: 5

I'd really appreciate some objective advice on how best to respond to some pretty confronting bathroom habits from my 41yr old partner. We've been together almost 8yrs and throughout this whole time we have constant arguments about the state he leave... View more

I'd really appreciate some objective advice on how best to respond to some pretty confronting bathroom habits from my 41yr old partner. We've been together almost 8yrs and throughout this whole time we have constant arguments about the state he leaves the toilet in - not just the toilet bowl, but the seat too as it's continually smeared with poo. He assures me it's not a medical issue - just laziness on his part as he 'forgets' to clean it up. Our relationship is otherwise very healthy - we own a house together and are very committed but this is about to break me. I've tried every possible approach to get him to stop (raising it with him calmly using 'I' statements and clearly articulating how it makes me feel and impacts me, through to firmer conversations and ultimatums) and every time he says he'll improve but he doesn't. Lately this has escalated to full blown arguments because he keeps saying he'll stop doing it but the behaviour doesn't change. Today was the last straw and I've threatened getting a portaloo for his own use if it happens one more time. Am I being unreasonable? Are there any other approaches I can use?

flossie62 Husband of 50 years emotionally abuses me
  • replies: 8

There was an episode over the weekend where we had visitors and I was planning on cooking a pork roast for dinner. I won't go into full details right now, but I had put the roast in for 40 minutes for the crackling, following the written instructions... View more

There was an episode over the weekend where we had visitors and I was planning on cooking a pork roast for dinner. I won't go into full details right now, but I had put the roast in for 40 minutes for the crackling, following the written instructions on the packet. After a while my husband saw smoke filling the room and carried on in a childish manner blaming and disrespecting me for stuffing up the oven and drinking too much and not knowing what I was doing. It was very embarrassing and I couldn't hold back my tears, not wanting to get into a full blown fight in front of visitors. These sorts of issues have happened over the years, but I think this was the worst. We have had a talk and I have said that I will not stay if this happens again. He has apologised but I really don't know what to do.

Soul_shattered Where can I get help for the accused Family (content warning: potentially distressing themes)
  • replies: 14

I am desperately seeking a support group for the families of accused sex offenders. My brothers step daughter has made some horrific allegations against him and because i have chosen to support him everyone is turning there back on me. I have done no... View more

I am desperately seeking a support group for the families of accused sex offenders. My brothers step daughter has made some horrific allegations against him and because i have chosen to support him everyone is turning there back on me. I have done nothing wrong!!! but the judgement is just as bad for me as it is for him. I am so desperate for someone to talk to but there only seems to be support for the accusers and there family not the accused at all. I know i have years of hell in front of me and i know i will not survive this if i don't find some support, somewhere.

Walto17 How do i apologize to a friend that i hurt
  • replies: 1

Hey everyone just need some advice.Long story short, i was friends with this person for about 4 years, we used to play xbox everynight until we had a falling out, bascially it was me and him who played all the time and then another person came into o... View more

Hey everyone just need some advice.Long story short, i was friends with this person for about 4 years, we used to play xbox everynight until we had a falling out, bascially it was me and him who played all the time and then another person came into our circle and caused a lot of drama because my friend and the other person butted heads. My friend did some childish things but i regret how things went down. Anyways, we haven't spoken for over 2 years and he blocked me on all of our social medias and it bugs me that things ended the way they did because i do miss our conversations, so i was thinking of trying to get in touch with him and saying sorry. I'm just curious as to how i should go about it. If i did message him, i wouldn't expect a response or anything but just to let him know that deep down i am sorry and would rather him know that i regret what happened instead of us never speaking and him maybe thinking i don't care about him because i still do. Any advice would be appreciated.

Von is lost Boyfriend travelling overseas for 6 months
  • replies: 1

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months and it has been so wonderful. We have recently said I love you to each other and our relationship feels solid. We’ve talked about a trip he’s taking with a mate overseas for around 6 months since the... View more

My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 months and it has been so wonderful. We have recently said I love you to each other and our relationship feels solid. We’ve talked about a trip he’s taking with a mate overseas for around 6 months since the beginning of us dating. He hasn’t booked his return flight back yet and has said a few times he might even come back early. We have three weeks left before he goes and I’m starting to feel sad and anxious about him going away. We’ve made a plan of how often to stay in touch etc and even a loose plan of meeting somewhere for a trip on his way back from Europe (might meet in Vietnam). I am pretty confident we will be fine but I’m worried I’m going to get depressed when he's gone and feel alone. Any advice would be greatly appreciated

Mav2030 Need some advice please
  • replies: 6

Hi there, 51yr old, 30years married but it looks like I may have stepped too far this time and it's probably over. I have several issues, I'm finally starting to get help but my biggest problems are I don't/can't listen to my wife, and I always have ... View more

Hi there, 51yr old, 30years married but it looks like I may have stepped too far this time and it's probably over. I have several issues, I'm finally starting to get help but my biggest problems are I don't/can't listen to my wife, and I always have to be right. A lot of it stems from 20+ years of me thinking I was helping her with her mental health problems, when all I was doing was making hers and mine worse. Sometimes when we're arguing, I'll just blurt out stuff - sometimes I do it cause I'm sick of feeling like I'm being attacked, other times it just happens. Yesterday when she was trying to talk to me about her fears with addictions (in particular for her alcohol) for some god knows reason I giggled and told her of a time we got drunk when we were younger. This was with young kids, and I didn't even think of the ramifications of bringing it up, I just did. She doesn't remember the time, and definitely swears black and blue she didn't do it, couldn't do it but I remember it. Maybe I got the times / dates wrong, but I remember it. Right now, she's not even looking at me, let alone willing to talk - I know I've let my mouth jump in again, and I've probably sealed my fate, but if anyone else has had similar foot in mouth issues, have you got any advice? I can't justify what I said, especially knowing her background but this woman is the only person who has ever given a damn about me, and every few weeks I let my mouth run away with what's happening. This is something I'm talking about, but right now, I'm lost and afraid I can't get back.

Quiettall Rejection of my attempts to contact family
  • replies: 5

Just before Christmas 2013 my daughter had her second child, which was my 2nd grandchild. I was so excited for her but only found out after I hadnt heard from her for weeks, through her Facebook postings. This was even though I had emailed, texted an... View more

Just before Christmas 2013 my daughter had her second child, which was my 2nd grandchild. I was so excited for her but only found out after I hadnt heard from her for weeks, through her Facebook postings. This was even though I had emailed, texted and posted to her regularly leading up to the birth encouraging and supporting her and suggesting I visit her as soon as the baby is born. I'm in Brisbane and feel as if she and her brother have deliberately cut me out of their life. The only reason I can put this down to is that when their mother and I divroced back in 1991, their mother threatened that she would make sure I had no further relationship or contact with my children. I was not abusive or anything like that. I still remain caring and constantly reaching out to the kids, encouraging them, telling them how proud I am of them.It is so devastating being deliberately cut out of their lives and particularly my 2 grandchildren. I have only seen my grandson twice in his ten years, both times because I made the effort to fly down and spend time with them.

becky_1992 Cruel ex partner
  • replies: 3

Hello, I was in a 2.5 year relationship with a man who ended our relationship by telling me he never loved me and would never marry me. I feel hurt, angered, upset and betrayed as when we first met, he portrayed himself as a family man to me and I th... View more

Hello, I was in a 2.5 year relationship with a man who ended our relationship by telling me he never loved me and would never marry me. I feel hurt, angered, upset and betrayed as when we first met, he portrayed himself as a family man to me and I thought our goals aligned. He said some very cruel things like even at the start of our relationship he was ‘excited but not in love’ and even during sex he never felt strongly about me. I’m devastated. I contacted his two ex partners and was shocked to learn he said the same to them, almost the exact words. ‘I will never marry you and I never loved you’. He was with them both for 3 years each. I feel so broken, upset and fragile. Im not sure how to move on from this immense pain I feel.

mark8661 Cause for concern
  • replies: 3

My partner is going overseas for 5 weeks with her daughters. Originally, it was ment to be her and her 2 older daughters, however the ex husband has decided he wanted to tag along.It caused alot of stress for my partner to make the decision and she e... View more

My partner is going overseas for 5 weeks with her daughters. Originally, it was ment to be her and her 2 older daughters, however the ex husband has decided he wanted to tag along.It caused alot of stress for my partner to make the decision and she eventually caved and said yes to more so please her daughter. The ex husband broke up with his partner to go on the trip.He cheated on my partner twice in the past and they have been separated for 6 years. I don't trust his motivations in wanting to go, as he has said he didn't want to miss out on the trip with his daughters who are 25 and 22. I am being assured there is nothing to worry about, however the bpd and overthinking in me is another story. Am I right to feel anxious about it?