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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Guest_69114249 Needing advice
  • replies: 2

I’m having ongoing difficulties with my partner and I’m not really sure where to turn. There are issues between us from the past that we haven’t been able to properly heal from. When I try to talk about them and explain what happened or why I reacted... View more

I’m having ongoing difficulties with my partner and I’m not really sure where to turn. There are issues between us from the past that we haven’t been able to properly heal from. When I try to talk about them and explain what happened or why I reacted the way I did at the time, he tells me that I don’t really mean what I’m saying, or that I still haven’t answered his questions about what I did and why I did it.From my perspective, I have tried to explain my reasoning and take responsibility for the things I know I did wrong. But it feels like no explanation is enough, and we keep going back to the same issues.It seems to be happening almost monthly now, where there is a big argument or blow-up. During these arguments, he tells me that I’m dumb or silly, that I’ll never change or acknowledge what I’ve done, and that I need to look inside myself and blame myself for the fact that we’re at this point.I’m starting to feel really lost and unsure of myself. I’m trying my hardest to make things better and understand what I need to change, but I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do. I want to be able to have conversations about our problems without being put down or feeling like everything is my fault. It is coming to a point that he is blaming me for lifes mistakes and health.I think I need some help understanding what is happening in this relationship, how I can look after myself, and what a healthy way forward might look like.

Minnie06 What is the good platform for accommodation
  • replies: 8

I am planning to leave a violent partner. I was looking for accommodation for me and 7yo daughter. Flatmates mostly do not accept children. I can still pay for room or house rent for up to $400 weekly. I've got some steady income now that's why I am ... View more

I am planning to leave a violent partner. I was looking for accommodation for me and 7yo daughter. Flatmates mostly do not accept children. I can still pay for room or house rent for up to $400 weekly. I've got some steady income now that's why I am determined to leave. Would Airbnb be good to start? Real estate houses/rooms are just too big like 7 or 9 rooms, I am a bit concerned re safety being exposed to so many people living in the same house. Are they any women only housing that accepts children too?

Misty2410 Mum needs a nursing home but refuses to go
  • replies: 2

Its come to the time where it is longer safe for mum to be at home she has falls, wants to sleep alot is barely eating and drinking but they say I cant force her to go to a home. But I cant keep caring for her at home

Its come to the time where it is longer safe for mum to be at home she has falls, wants to sleep alot is barely eating and drinking but they say I cant force her to go to a home. But I cant keep caring for her at home

MrGuy1993 Cheating
  • replies: 2

I have a photo of a man in my wife’s hotel bed. When she was asked by her friend on a messenger app “why is she still up late”. I had downloaded the messenger app in advance as she has used to admit of cheating but i do not have any evidence to accus... View more

I have a photo of a man in my wife’s hotel bed. When she was asked by her friend on a messenger app “why is she still up late”. I had downloaded the messenger app in advance as she has used to admit of cheating but i do not have any evidence to accuse her of doing such a thing. i am so angry and pissed at this situation. I am taking care of our son age 3 when she is out holiday-ing. I had given her a chance to be honest about it. But she told me that if she didn’t do anything infidelities there isn’t any thing to hide without knowing i have a screenshot of it. i have also see photos of that man share to her friends in the app which tallied to Uber History ride. I have no idea what i should do. i wanted to commit suicide but knowing my son would suffer i didn’t go through with it. should i even confront her when she lands back at the airport? Or just let it pass till the right time?

Jessksch My partner works night shift and is not really a romantic or affectionate sort
  • replies: 6

So he works night shift and the shifts vary so much and change last minute, it's hard for us to even plan anything to do. We haven't been out together for years... However, when he is driving at night, he calls me and we talk for hours together about... View more

So he works night shift and the shifts vary so much and change last minute, it's hard for us to even plan anything to do. We haven't been out together for years... However, when he is driving at night, he calls me and we talk for hours together about random stuff. He says he calls because he loves me and loves talking to me but sometimes I feel he only does it because he's bored while driving and has run out of stuff to listen to? He has never been affectionate, but if I am sad he will hug me and kiss me and when I ask for it, he will gladly hug and kiss me, but the idea that I have to ask for it hurts me... He doesn't hang out with anyone as he has no time or needs sleep, and plays video games and we have our desks next to each other so on the weekend we play video games together sometimes though I wish we could go out for dinner together...I try to plan things but he gets incredibly tired sometimes and has no energy and I say I understand... I have told him that I need affection or more romance, and he hugs me when I feel like this and talk to him about it, but then goes back to his routine and I keep quiet until it blows up again inside me and I need affection... I just want to feel wanted and I told him that, he says he's so tired and he loves me and he thinks I'm beautiful when I dress up (mostly I am a tomboy but have been trying lately to dress up more) but it's never on his own accord... Last night I started crying because I feel unwanted. We have been together for so long, his family is my family, he takes me everywhere with him with friends if we do go out together and has proposed to me even though I didn't even ask to be married, I was just happy to be with him.He includes me in his future ideas, doesn't even want to be with another woman and he tells me everything...This is just the biggest problem at the moment. HOWEVER: he says he is getting out of the industry next year and wants to study something else, working as a paramedic. He said we may ahve better time together when he does this and its one of the reasons I am still with him, the hope things will change.The anticipation though is making me so miserable, not to mention how life itself is so draining at the moment with work... I just am so tired not sleeping well with worry, I cried last night and I am so physically and psychologically tired from stressing over this. When I tell him how I feel he says to wait it out and he loves med and hugs me...+

Bonnie44 Trying To Let Go
  • replies: 5

Hi, My son has just gone through a divorce after 10 years and 3 children. She got 75% of everything after contributing nothing. It’s taken 3 years to finalise in the legal system and cost 1,000s .In the beginning I liked my daughter in law. I gave he... View more

Hi, My son has just gone through a divorce after 10 years and 3 children. She got 75% of everything after contributing nothing. It’s taken 3 years to finalise in the legal system and cost 1,000s .In the beginning I liked my daughter in law. I gave her money, I looked after them with a place to live, I helped her through illness etc. I have found out I was lied to, she manipulated and played on our family all just for her gain. Family warned me but I never believed someone could be like this. No body trusted her. She came here to Australia as a tourist. Got pregnant, then married all in a very short time so she could live in Australia. My son told me that he loved her and wanted to look after the baby. She is older than him. He was 19 at the time. That’s when he started to have suicide attempts. I’ve always tried to support .Now I’m tired, have health problems. I am finding it hard to let the anger and hate out of my heart for her. I feel hurt and gullible.I’ve never been like this. I just can’t let it go. I talk to myself about her mostly when I try to sleep. How did you get over it?

Guest_94253085 Messing up emotional connections
  • replies: 1

Hi guys, I’m new here but I just wanted to give this thing a go. I’m a teenage student who is in a bit of a bad situation of her own making. I’ll keep it brief, but ever since my dad died several years ago I’ve developed a bit of a fear of making con... View more

Hi guys, I’m new here but I just wanted to give this thing a go. I’m a teenage student who is in a bit of a bad situation of her own making. I’ll keep it brief, but ever since my dad died several years ago I’ve developed a bit of a fear of making connections with other people. As I’ve gotten older, I think this has turned from just not sharing too much about myself to causing emotional pain.I’ve been consistently tepid and unenthusiastic and kept myself physically distant from people who I previously got on with, and despite them being polite, I can tell they are rightly not happy with me for it. Worst of all, there’s this one person I see every day who I just randomly decided I couldn’t be friends with (because I had “too many” friends) and I can’t seem to stop being noticeably cold and flat and nervy towards them. I’m even feeling physical discomfort when I see them which is clear on my face. Every day I miss the comfy relationships I used to have and promise I’ll be better, but I can’t make lasting change. I feel nervous when it gets to recess and lunch at school because I know I’ll act like an idiot. I can’t keep going on like this, because I’ll emotionally hurt both me and them. So, not the biggest problem, I just wanted to get this off my mind and see if anyone knows of anything concrete that could help stop my irrational behaviour. I know one thing to do is to apologise for my behaviour but I want to be able to show I’m sorry too. I would be seeing a counselor about this, but my mum would obviously find out and I don’t want her to have to worry about this. Thank you so much.

Help99 MIL Help
  • replies: 6

MIL watched our kids overnight on this rare occasion for my birthday. We came home to our 2 yo had been given her first haircut, by my MIL herself (no teeth brushed or showers had at all). She refused to apologise or acknowledge she was in the wrong.... View more

MIL watched our kids overnight on this rare occasion for my birthday. We came home to our 2 yo had been given her first haircut, by my MIL herself (no teeth brushed or showers had at all). She refused to apologise or acknowledge she was in the wrong. I didn’t speak, my partner in short words lost it at her in the sense of yelling saying what she did is wrong, why would she etc. her reason was that there was ice cream in her hair. She hid this from us at the beginning. I left during that and returned when she had gone back home. I texted her an unhappy message after this. It’s been over 4 months since this happened and we have only heard from her last week. During the call she stated we need a conversation where we can act like adults and explain boundaries as there apparently are some we haven’t told her. I overheard small fractions of the conversation. Part where she was guilt tripping her son that he only has one mum etc. Our son has cried a lot during these months wanting to ‘FaceTime’ her, my partner keeps saying to him that she is busy and will call when she can basically. His birthday is coming up next month (almost half a year since she’s spoke to her grandkids), and after this phone call with my partner, she texted me asking if she’s allowed to come and if she’s allowed to call our kids… it felt unlike her words and tone. I texted her all the information and stated she can call her grandkids whenever she would like to. Now it’s been another 2 weeks and still nothing from her, no call or texts. She is attending the party from what I assume and I am feeling yuck as nothing has been resolved and I’m still upset, but have not let that get in the way of any of her relationships! I don’t know if I send another text, or just let it happen and forget about it. During the call, she still didn’t apologise or acknowledge anything, just guilt tripped him he said and said the same stuff from the same day it happened. Do I leave it or not.

FaidedSmiles I dont agree with his choices
  • replies: 7

Hi,New here so thanks for listening to me A bit about us. I have been with my partner for 20 years. I am 55 (on a disability pension) and he is 52, he has always been a good provider working in construction and FIFO and we have always been able to sa... View more

Hi,New here so thanks for listening to me A bit about us. I have been with my partner for 20 years. I am 55 (on a disability pension) and he is 52, he has always been a good provider working in construction and FIFO and we have always been able to save and have a good life.We don't have children so no issues there, just a couple of fur babies who have been spoilt rotten. Over the past 5 year he has lost both his parents which started him questioning all his life choices. He was diagnosed and treated for depression and took 6 months off work to just sit in the lounge and watch TV, all the while our bank balance dwindled down to $500, and after months of explaining we needed an income, he reluctantly went back to work.Now he has decided he doesn't want to be like his dad, to only work his whole life, have nothing to show for it and then die, which is not his life at all. And decided he was starting University this semester to get a degree in Mathematical ScienceHe was offered construction work that fitted in perfectly with his uni hours and he was going to be getting a good wage that would keep us afloat. Second day into his job he comes home and says he wont work construction any more as he doesn't want to be in pain (keep in mind this was his 2nd day back after having his 3 months long service) he was going to have some muscle pain.So he finds a job that is casual and if we are lucky he will bring home $600 a week. This is not enough to pay the mortgage, bills, shopping and other expenses we have.I am at my wits end. My every waking and sleeping moment is centred on how I am going to make this work so he can go to uni and I am starting to resent him for putting me in this position. I want to tell him going to Uni is a silly idea. IF he wants to change jobs fine, but going to uni we risk losing the house and our relationship. I don't think he is being fair to me or us, he is simply just thinking of his needs. Opinions, suggestion and ideas are all greatly accepted. Perhaps seeing it from someone else's perspective might help me. As much as I want him to go to Uni, I just don't think this is the going to work

Guest_58792402 having panic attacks constatly since he dumped me
  • replies: 1

i dont know how to be okay without him, im trying so hard but it is hurting me so badly, i need him back but i have no way of contacting him, he has blocked me on absolutely everything. i cant keep collapsing and histerically crying what do i do. i j... View more

i dont know how to be okay without him, im trying so hard but it is hurting me so badly, i need him back but i have no way of contacting him, he has blocked me on absolutely everything. i cant keep collapsing and histerically crying what do i do. i just need comfort someone please help me

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