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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Guest_46033237 Deeply hurted
  • replies: 2

Does anyone feel the same as me , although live with family, but feel unsupported, uncared , unloved

Does anyone feel the same as me , although live with family, but feel unsupported, uncared , unloved

Tina77 Broken
  • replies: 4

I'm tired. I'm stressed. I'm broken inside and out. Noone to turn to. Just angry. Thoughts of what if.

I'm tired. I'm stressed. I'm broken inside and out. Noone to turn to. Just angry. Thoughts of what if.

listeningmind Mid life blues
  • replies: 3

I’ve always had a very busy career but also have been the primary care giver to 3 children my husband has taken a more passive parenting role the 2 eldest kids have left and the youngest has ADHD but doesn’t take his meds, spends most time at gfs who... View more

I’ve always had a very busy career but also have been the primary care giver to 3 children my husband has taken a more passive parenting role the 2 eldest kids have left and the youngest has ADHD but doesn’t take his meds, spends most time at gfs whose mother completely enables a sleep all day, up all night weed smoking lifestyle. He’s at uni and is over 18 but he rarely attends and i wouldn’t have a clue if he’s passing. We barely see him which hurts a lot and I know I have to let him be but it’s disappointing and I worry about his pathOur eldest has ongoing health issues needing our support but does live independently with Centrelink supportMiddle boy has just moved interstate. He has his head screwed on but I miss him a lot too My marriage has been through a really hard time in recent years with hubby having substance abuse issues, irritability and history of emotional abuse. We have been on the brink of divorce but are working with a counselor. He’s trying but I still feel he doesn’t “see me” and when I say this he has no curiosity just says he doesn’t know what it means I am the main breadwinner and take full mental load. I feel grief as the children have grown and left which of course I know is normal feelings, I just wasn’t expecting the intensity of the feelings I take HRT and know hormones may play a role I thought life was supposed to get easier and I suppose physically it has with less to juggle but I feel adrift and rejected and alone my career is demanding but successful however I’m feeling really down on myself and guilty, did I work too much when the kids were younger? We were trying to make ends meet and give them a good education I just feel so depressed sometimes ..what’s it all for? Where is the meaning? Everything just seems hard all the time.I exercise regularly, running has helped, and have extended family support and good friends but I still feel hopeless and lonely a lot of the time also teary I don’t know what I’m trying to say. Looking for solidarity I suppose and reassurance things will improve thanks

Weltschmerz Emotional abuse - 3 years into a relationship and things have changed
  • replies: 1

I’m really sad and embarrassed and not sure if I have the strength to take action. Some context - I was recently diagnosed with PTSD due to repeated workplace bullying and I stopped working 12 months ago. I have also had trauma with repeated emotiona... View more

I’m really sad and embarrassed and not sure if I have the strength to take action. Some context - I was recently diagnosed with PTSD due to repeated workplace bullying and I stopped working 12 months ago. I have also had trauma with repeated emotional and financial abuse in my previous long term relationships, with my last husband committing suicide (10 years ago) and leaving me with huge debts. I’ve got support (GP, Clinical Psychologist) and I’m actively working to reduce my anxiety and depression. I am now into a 3 year relationship that I thought was going to be my last and best. He was originally super supportive and loving. Over the last month I’m seeing red flags where he has been telling me how to behave and to tone myself down (both volume and enthusiasm). I’m becoming insecure and sad and feeling that I’m defective. Im finding that we can’t have an effective discussion and he never apologies for anything. When I discuss the situations he makes it clear that he thinks I have issues and he doesn’t. He normally makes smart comments and sometimes refuses simple requests for support or assistance. He teases me incessantly and his jokes and general conversation have an hard edge to them. Our intimacy has also been impacted. This is impacting my anxiety and sadness. I’m feeling insecure and sad, and wondering if it’s time to end the relationship. Super bad timing as we have a 6 week holiday in Europe starting in a few weeks. All booked and paid for!!! Just so sad

Guest_16106532 Emotionally disconnected
  • replies: 2

Hello everyone, I have been married to my husband for 20 years known him for 24 and I find that I wan to be away from him. I have become very emotional about him not showing me love. I ried to talk to him about it but he did not show any interest and... View more

Hello everyone, I have been married to my husband for 20 years known him for 24 and I find that I wan to be away from him. I have become very emotional about him not showing me love. I ried to talk to him about it but he did not show any interest and said I am looking fo problems like my mum. I began feeling isolated and noticing that we are not emotionally connected about a year ago. I had great doubts about our marriage at the start as there was a lot of issues with our families... We have lived through tese and now I am beginning to feel that there is no love. Ther ehas never been much love. Recently I met a kind man and this has highlighted my needs to me even more . I am in my mid 40s. Is this part of a mid life crisis or have I changed? Has any one gone through a smiliar eperience? I feel bad tht I feel this way about my husband.

Eliza1976 I think my husband is a sex addict
  • replies: 3

My husband of 7 years has addiction problems with alcohol and sex. We are unable to have a loving sexual relationship because he is obsessed with watching porn and constantly wanting me to sleep with other men (which I won’t). When I say that I find ... View more

My husband of 7 years has addiction problems with alcohol and sex. We are unable to have a loving sexual relationship because he is obsessed with watching porn and constantly wanting me to sleep with other men (which I won’t). When I say that I find this disrespectful and disgusting he says that I am kink shaming him. I endure sex once a week and now he wants permission to sleep with other women that advertise for free sex because I don’t meet his needs. I feel so disgusted and I no longer enjoy sex and the thought of it with anyone is vile. I don’t know what to do but I can’t endure much more of this. Where can I go to get help?

Wanderer11 Lonely and gullible?
  • replies: 4

Hey all, first time poster, but longer time reader/replier here. I'd love some advice from my community here...I've noticed a pattern, in my close relationships (family/friends/romantic), where I get promises/words of wanting closeness with me, but t... View more

Hey all, first time poster, but longer time reader/replier here. I'd love some advice from my community here...I've noticed a pattern, in my close relationships (family/friends/romantic), where I get promises/words of wanting closeness with me, but then no actions/follow up... Friends saying they miss me, my sister wanting a stronger bond, my ex-partners talking big commitment (moving in, getting engaged) - but always, nothing happens... Really lovely words, but no actions or follow through...I initiate, communicate (I even told my partner if say yes if they asked me to marry them... 2 years later, nothing). I try to be understanding and patient, caring and supportive of their space and their needs... but at the end of the day it's just me, waiting for something that doesn't come, and feeling used and low self-worth...It happens in so many of my relationships, I'm at the point where I think it must be something I'm doing... I'm trusting/gullible, so I'm easy to be led on... the waiting is hurtful, and lonely, and I'm wondering if I need to make a change... Practically, do I keep believing my current partner who for 2 years has said they want to move in with me (but hasn't taken any steps, and at move time right now tells me they're still not ready?). If I wait I could have a beautiful life together with them, but I could also be wasting years on something that's never going to happen... any help would be appreciated 🩵

QuietAlice Unstable Housemate/Hostile Living Situation
  • replies: 1

Hi Forums, I am currently having issues with a person that I'm living with and I'm seeking advice/support around it.I live in a sharehouse with 4 total people, 1 of whom is currently actively hostile to the rest of us 3. Any attempt to engage in disc... View more

Hi Forums, I am currently having issues with a person that I'm living with and I'm seeking advice/support around it.I live in a sharehouse with 4 total people, 1 of whom is currently actively hostile to the rest of us 3. Any attempt to engage in discussion leads to her shouting/yelling and spouting abusive words and phrases. One such example she compared us all to "pigs living in their own s**t" and calling our property "rat infested". We keep a clean household, wipe up stains, put dishes in the dishwasher type stuff, we've never had a rat problem or had any amount of mess that has warranted that kind of statement. In this same rant, she accused one of our other housemates as being "the reason why their last place was a s**thole" and lashed out at another housemate who intervened in the conversation/rant as an attempt to diffuse it before it turned physical. She then ended the argument by dredging up personal trauma that i had divulged to her in confidence. Since then, I have asked her to leave. She is not on a lease, as she was supposed to sign it over 3 months ago (we have a very patient real estate) so I have asked her to provide us with a timeframe and a decision as to whether or not she is moving out. She has failed to respond to these messages, and I'm at a loss as to what I can do next. Her constant hurls of abuse at all of us are really wearing our mental spaces out and causing/forcing us to live in our respective rooms. Any advice on what to do next would be greatly appreciatedI am keeping records of all interactions and exhanges between us, as to provide evidence to whoever that we're following the right processes.

Echoes Feelings of guilt leaving an alcoholic
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, I have an overwhelming feeling of guilt after separating from my wife of 10 years. She succumbed to alcohol and was often violent and emotionally abusive towards me when drunk. Despite the suffering and abuse I was under I still feel lik... View more

Hi everyone, I have an overwhelming feeling of guilt after separating from my wife of 10 years. She succumbed to alcohol and was often violent and emotionally abusive towards me when drunk. Despite the suffering and abuse I was under I still feel like I have let her down by leaving her as she has no means of support after losing her high paying job due to alcohol. I know that I was only enabling her to continue her drinking by being there and I feel like I have wasted the past 10 years. I feel like less of a person and a failure as a husband. After several stints in rehab and having to clean soiled sheets and clothes often I lost hope in our relationship. I was totally miserable and after leaving her I am in a slightly better place now. I am now alone and have taken action to protect myself from her by moving away. I am thankful I have no children and sometimes think about what I could have done to help her while crying alone. I know things will get better and I am doing my best but sometimes I think that I will never get over this. My self esteem has been battered and I can’t see how it will ever rebuild. It feels good to write this and I hope that people in similar situations can see that they are not alone in this struggle.

RichoC Why me? The hate. I'm done...
  • replies: 1

Well, I'm living a wonderful life here.I try so hard every day to be good, calm, easy and nice. That's who I am.I'm even on potent medication that stops flare-ups and all that. I hate it, but whatever it takes, right?My Wife loves abusing me, telling... View more

Well, I'm living a wonderful life here.I try so hard every day to be good, calm, easy and nice. That's who I am.I'm even on potent medication that stops flare-ups and all that. I hate it, but whatever it takes, right?My Wife loves abusing me, telling me I'm a loser, complaining when I bring up a special time in my life at work and says, Oh, you talk yourself up, sound like a dick head.No, just remembering a great time in my life when I was successful. Nice to celebrate, that isn't it?Recently, I've had no job, sacked illegally from my last job.So as a workplace lawyer ,I'm taking them to court to be prosecuted. Makes my blood pressure boil.It's so bad. I will win.Ripped me tonight in front of her family members for bringing up good memories.I said shut the F up, oh then I was attacked like you can't believe. Sorry, you pushed me again as usual. I can't take it.I tried to explain, but no one cares. Just more attacks on me. Abused me all of them.I said fuck this, I'm leaving.I'm so bad. No, just abused daily.I want out. I'm done.I can legally do it all myself because I have before.I have struggled for years with things and all I get is abuse and complaints. I just got an amazing job and good pay, which will be huge.Don't think I want to share that.And I'm about to receive money for my music, almost $1 million, my songs are really good!Go me! All mine.Think I'll keep all that. I wrote the song, so it's mine.Could pay the mortgage out, but hey.I'm just struggling with the abuse, negative comments about me.I can't keep doing this. Rather be on my own again.Maybe my ex-girlfriend will want me back; she's very, very beautiful. I'd be so happy. Like Margot Robbie beautiful.Any way ranting, no support, just abuse. But wants my money now.Should I just pack up and go? Be happy right now.Thanks Sorry I'm broken again by her, she thinks its a fun game to play.