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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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JayCee28 Trauma and anxiety marriage/ kids/ court
  • replies: 3

I had a child impact report today, I feel like I failed it, I was so upset about what my ex was saying about me that I forgot things ( when asked) what he did to control and manipulate me.. I went into trauma mode I’m so upset with myself, forgetting... View more

I had a child impact report today, I feel like I failed it, I was so upset about what my ex was saying about me that I forgot things ( when asked) what he did to control and manipulate me.. I went into trauma mode I’m so upset with myself, forgetting things that would defend me in the way I was treated for over a decade.Now everything is just playing over in my head, all the things he has done, and is still doing . I wont get another chance to let them hear my side, I’m just disappointed in the way it went.Aside from having SPR and dealing with child’s side of everything, I have put off my need for help throughout this all, I do need help.It’s such a big job being mum and dad when child doesn’t want contact with dad.I’m so busy rushing around to and from appointments for child and home life I barely have time for me . Im just disappointed with myself and anxious that ( I cried ) and didn’t get my point across, what I needed to say.Over a decade condensed in to an hr for the report I couldn’t do it, it was too much, hearing what he was saying about me and the trauma I’m left with.For me it’s a sad day

Guest_61430725 Struggling with Partner’s Gambling Addiction and Dishonesty
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone,I’m reaching out because I’m feeling overwhelmed and hurt right now. My partner has a gambling addiction that has left him in a significant amount of debt. Despite this, he works most of the time and has recently sold his car, so I know h... View more

Hi everyone,I’m reaching out because I’m feeling overwhelmed and hurt right now. My partner has a gambling addiction that has left him in a significant amount of debt. Despite this, he works most of the time and has recently sold his car, so I know he has the funds to budget properly.We had planned to go to Scotland (my home country) with my family at the end of the year, and he initially said he would try to budget for it. However, he recently told me he probably won’t come. I even offered to help pay for his flights, but what hurts the most is the false hope he gave me.I also know that he has been gambling online most days since we made the plan, and he has lied to me about it. He’s been getting help, which is good, but the continued gambling and dishonesty are breaking my heart. I feel stuck because I want our relationship to work with my whole heart, but his actions and words aren’t aligning. I’m scared to confront him because I don’t want to make things worse or cause him to hide it more in the future.I feel so hurt and disappointed, and I don’t know how to deal with these emotions. I want to create a safe space for honesty and support his recovery, but I can’t handle the lies and broken promises.Has anyone else been through something similar? How did you handle it? Any advice on how to approach this conversation or cope with these feelings would be greatly appreciated.Thank you for listening.

Scoota Feeling lost
  • replies: 1

Hi I'm feeling really depressed and down. I already suffer from major depression disorder and severe anxiety. I've been married for 23 years my husband IS FIFO and I enjoy my 2 weeks when he is away working. As soon as it gets time for him to return ... View more

Hi I'm feeling really depressed and down. I already suffer from major depression disorder and severe anxiety. I've been married for 23 years my husband IS FIFO and I enjoy my 2 weeks when he is away working. As soon as it gets time for him to return for a week off. I get really depressed and anxious. I have trouble communicating with my husband when I discuss our future ? He snapped at me last time I asked. Saying "If you are not happy, pack your beds and F off." I cannot get this out of my head I keep thinking about what he said. This is not the first time either. He is very jealous and has anger management problems which he won't admit to. I'm definitely scared of him. I don't know how to handle my life when I live like this. I am a very sensitive person kind and always caring. Just trying enjoy the rest of my life. With tears in my eyes. I need help and thoughts of what I should do with my life ??

ssSushiCat My narsist father won't leave me alone I do not know what to do
  • replies: 3

To be honest I do not know what to do. Not sure if this is the right place to even post this, but I think Ineed some advice.About a year ago I used to live with my father. He was very emotionally abusive and I finally managed to get the fuck out at t... View more

To be honest I do not know what to do. Not sure if this is the right place to even post this, but I think Ineed some advice.About a year ago I used to live with my father. He was very emotionally abusive and I finally managed to get the fuck out at the beginning of this year. Living with him really affected my mental health and it's been taking a while to recover. (But honestly life had been great without him).I thought I managed to cut him off completely. ( I literally have him blocked on everything I could possibly have). But for some reason he keeps trying to interfere with my life. (There was an incident a while back where he called my mother to ask her what I was doing (She didn't tell him anything and blocked him) and he also for some reason sent me a Happy New Year email which I deleted and blocked him on there.)Yesterday was my birthday and he for some reason decided to send me a bouget of many pink flowers that was delivered to my door. Not only was this a terrible gift for me because 1. I do not like flowers and 2. I do not like pink. 3. Part of the gift were also many sweets that I also do not like/can't eat. But also it just triggered something in me. Why did he do this? What was the plan here? Like he knows what I actually like and he knows what I don't like. (This man raised me for 18 years). So unless he has a very bad case of amnesia this was obviously not an attempt to give me a nice nice gift. What the hell does he want from me? Leave me alone.To be honest am afraid that he will try to weasel his way back into my life. Show up at my door or uni or work. I don't want to see him, talk to him or receive presents from him.I just want him to leave me alone and stop trying to interfere with my life! I need some perspective what should I do here? Am I overthinking?

Tonyh Stepchild giving me anxiety (please help)
  • replies: 12

So I have an adult stepdaughter who is 20 and living with us, everyday I come home from work I find plates and mess left around the kitchen. I am forever asking her nicely to clean up after herself only to be met with attitude and anger. I keep telli... View more

So I have an adult stepdaughter who is 20 and living with us, everyday I come home from work I find plates and mess left around the kitchen. I am forever asking her nicely to clean up after herself only to be met with attitude and anger. I keep telling the missus and she says well ask to to clean it and I try to explain that its not getting anywhere and can she talk to her. The problem is im not sure anything is getting said as it still keeps happening. Lately she has been parking behind my car in my driveway purposely blocking me in even though I left her space to park beside me. The comments and attitude im getting is almost making life not worth living there. If it weren't for my 9 year old daughter I'd move out as I am at my boiling point with this crap cause i just wanna have some peace in my life but there is always something that pisses her off and the whole house has to know it apparently. What's really frustrating is that my partner is always being nice about everything with her which makes me feel like she is nurturing her attitude and giving her the idea that she can keep doin it. What the hell am I supposed to do? My lil girl is always coming up to me asking if im ok as she can clearly see this is affecting me. Anyway any advice would be very helpful now because I feel like im supposed to just live with this crap. Thanks for your time

Scared Just been dumped again
  • replies: 1

8 years ago I met girl in Thailand who just dumped me this morning.In fact shes ended it many times since my return to Aus. This girl is unique in that she is child like in her ways and I always suspected maybe some form of Autism. I took her under m... View more

8 years ago I met girl in Thailand who just dumped me this morning.In fact shes ended it many times since my return to Aus. This girl is unique in that she is child like in her ways and I always suspected maybe some form of Autism. I took her under my wing so to speak and for years helped her out. She became almost like a daughter to me ( she is 38 ) im 61. I spent couple years living in Thai but returned because of lack of money. But when i was homeless some years back this person gave me purpose to live when all around me was cold and bleak . Now i have depression again and I lost the only sunlight i was getting and that was our daily phone calls. I dont know if she will call me again or if this is one of her weekly mood changes. The point is im too afraid to be left in my bleak depression alone. I know all the sayings let people go if you love them but i cant help being selfish and need her more than she needs me. My only goal i had was to get well get job and go visit her . Without that goal i have nothing. Im sick of depression robbing my life and robbing my ability to fight on. My life my housing my outlook is so bleak im too afraid to really look at it because im scared of going insane. I seem to have put up a blocker and i think my brain is trying to protect me from that reality

Guest_03767423 Not happy been marriage for 35 years
  • replies: 1

I really enjoy my husband company and we get on well together. We have a small business and he is semi retired now. Which means he is home more. I work with him and I can’t do anything right - he speaks to me trebly. I had a car accident the day he h... View more

I really enjoy my husband company and we get on well together. We have a small business and he is semi retired now. Which means he is home more. I work with him and I can’t do anything right - he speaks to me trebly. I had a car accident the day he had another go at me and I blamed him. This argument was on my mind - thinking how am I going to fix his temper - attitude. Talk so many times. Especially because we have a small Business and it is not that easy to leave him. Which I have been thinking. I am always on egg shells. I don’t have an option on any topics. He spits it and blows up and gets cranky. He either walks away. Doesn’t like to talk - orPuts every thing back on me.last fight I told him I want out.he went to doctors - who said he might have bipolar. Talk medicines.? Now he want me to Show himmore affection and kiss him more. Which I can’t because we never have been. I don’t want to come home and deal with this. what I am asking is I need helpi keep talking and it’s not going anywhere ?

Blu Why am I always chasing attention from other females when I’m in a relationship
  • replies: 3

2 previous relationships and I find myself chatting and messaging other females or looking in dating sites. have never slept with anyone apart from my partner in relationships but seems like I need the attention from something missing from childhood

2 previous relationships and I find myself chatting and messaging other females or looking in dating sites. have never slept with anyone apart from my partner in relationships but seems like I need the attention from something missing from childhood

loyal Please Help! I told my best friend her husband was cheating
  • replies: 3

I told my best friend that her husband had cheated on her (erotic massage parlours/escorts). Her husband denied it and blames me now for making things worse for them. He wants nothing to do with me and has told me to never speak to his wife again. Th... View more

I told my best friend that her husband had cheated on her (erotic massage parlours/escorts). Her husband denied it and blames me now for making things worse for them. He wants nothing to do with me and has told me to never speak to his wife again. They were having problems to begin with and he was blaming her. It was hurting me so much having to keep this from her...I spoke to him first and gave him the chance to confess and he denied it...he spoke about their problems and said they were all her fault. I was so angry that I told her the truth. Yes i have now compromised a friendship between my husband and his best friend and now I am to blame! My husband supports me, however, he also knows the truth and told me I should not have interfered. I am not regretful for what I did, my friends husband has made it quite clear in text that I am at fault now. How do I move on from this....

Guest_01884801 Husband addicted to porn - need advice
  • replies: 2

I recently found out that my husband is addicted to porn. I am so upset. I have been crying and feeling depressed and now insecure about my body. I have spoken to him about the porn. He said he will stop but I don't believe him at all. I also don't w... View more

I recently found out that my husband is addicted to porn. I am so upset. I have been crying and feeling depressed and now insecure about my body. I have spoken to him about the porn. He said he will stop but I don't believe him at all. I also don't want to control him and now just want to divorce him. He is trying hard to keep us together but I don't believe he will ever stop and I don't want that kind of relationship. I don't know what to do. I really don't think counselling will work either for us because I don't believe he sees it as a problem and will really stop.