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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Witchy76 Husband issues
  • replies: 14

So I asked my husband to teach me to repot a pot plant, he showed me what to do but I tried and he was getting frustrated with me cos I was having trouble so I let him do it . Later on we made a 3d wooden puzzle together and I was trying to do someth... View more

So I asked my husband to teach me to repot a pot plant, he showed me what to do but I tried and he was getting frustrated with me cos I was having trouble so I let him do it . Later on we made a 3d wooden puzzle together and I was trying to do something and he’s getting annoyed cos I wasn’t passing it over, “your not listening “ etc so I walked away. we have had issues before because he prioritised friends over home life and he refuses to talk about it. Stone walls. So I threw my rings at him and told him I’m done etc then he calls me a psycho like his ex. He can be very rude in the way he speaks to me in general. He drinks a lot of wine and smokes pot 24/7. If we go past a cyclist he doesn’t do the one metre rule he does the 30cm rule. U can see the cyclist raising his fists and yelling out etc haven’t been married a year yet and I’m thinking I made the wrong decision to marry him to be honest. Don’t know what to do. Seems to blame everyone else for everything

Nik_Nakz Historical Child Sexual Abuse & Family Court Proceedings
  • replies: 3

I’m currently in the middle of Family Court proceedings about the care of my two children, who are 11 and 9. I was their sole and primary carer for years after leaving their father in 2018. Over time, the pressure of single parenting, work stress, an... View more

I’m currently in the middle of Family Court proceedings about the care of my two children, who are 11 and 9. I was their sole and primary carer for years after leaving their father in 2018. Over time, the pressure of single parenting, work stress, and a long history of domestic violence took a toll on my mental health. In early 2024, I reached a point where I knew I wasn’t coping. My mental health was deteriorating, and I wanted to keep my children safe from a man I had been involved with who was emotionally abusive and connected to drugs. As a protective step, I asked their father to care for them temporarily while I got help. After that man was arrested later in 2024, I cut ties completely and started addressing my mental health and substance use. The kids briefly returned to me, but their father then moved them to a school far away, which made it impossible for me to get them there without transport. Not long after, he began withholding them. Around this time, I also reported the inappropriate relationship he and I had when I was a minor. That process is still ongoing, but it feels like it has stalled, even though the evidence is there.The last time I saw my children was in May 2025. Since then, the Court has focused heavily on my past mental health struggles, the domestic violence I experienced, and my history of substance use. Even though I’ve been actively working on my mental health for two years, I feel like the context — the trauma, the abuse, the reasons behind everything — is being ignored. What hurts the most is feeling like the system is allowing someone who harmed me to use the legal process and my children as a way to continue that harm. I’m doing everything I can to heal, to be stable, and to be the mother my kids know and love. But it feels like the more I try to speak up about the abuse, the less I’m heard. I guess I’m asking… why does it feel like victims are punished for the trauma they’re trying to recover from? And how do you keep going when the system that’s supposed to protect you seems to be working against you?

Gypsy_Mama Betrayal
  • replies: 2

My husband and I have been together for 14 years married 10 with 2 kids. Over our time together we have had many up’s and downs which I know is normal. When we met I made it very clear on my boundaries towards pornography, strip clubs, topless waitre... View more

My husband and I have been together for 14 years married 10 with 2 kids. Over our time together we have had many up’s and downs which I know is normal. When we met I made it very clear on my boundaries towards pornography, strip clubs, topless waitresses and anything that falls under that umbrella. Over the years we have had the bucks party arrive and yes lied to about what went on, he’s attended other bucks parties and taken himself into strip clubs out of feeling peer pressured. The most recent 1 year ago was me discovering he watched porn and then when I confronted him he denied it to very quickly admit yes he did. I can’t explain the gut wrenching feeling that came over me where i feel vomit rise up and I wanted to run and not stop running. I was lied to and betrayed..again. One year on and I chose to stay and work through this. He knows it wasn’t ok and he knows how badly it’s destroyed all my trust. He has attended a few counselling sessions but I feel like I’ve had to “nag” him. He was asked by councillor to write in a book again he’s not consistent. When I bring it up he gets very emotional and tells me how ashamed I am then I feel bad for him. I shouldn’t have to beg him to be consistent and show me that he wants to make our marriage work. He assured me he would do whatever it took and he wanted to change his ways as he isn’t happy with himself. It’s really exhausting and I know he loves me but he just wants to stick his head in the sand and forget any of this happened. Because none of the previous times were ever resolved and I was told to “get over it” and “are you still on about that?” I never fully healed. This time it needs to be done right. I can’t heal from something I didn’t do because I feel bad about making his emotions cripple him. Mix in kids and it’s very hard to discuss anything really. I came from a broken home and it’s something I never want. I love him so much and I know inside there’s an incredible man, the man he was when I fell in love with him. I’ve never forgiven anyone before for betrayal, I know it won’t be easy but I need to know he’s going to make the effort.

Behere Narcissistic wife
  • replies: 17

I have posted under the title overwhelmed but I really want to write about Narcissism because I think it might be helpful to anyone else who feels they are locked in a narcissistic relationship and it will help me clarify my thoughts Firstly I am awa... View more

I have posted under the title overwhelmed but I really want to write about Narcissism because I think it might be helpful to anyone else who feels they are locked in a narcissistic relationship and it will help me clarify my thoughts Firstly I am aware of the criticism around the word Narcissism to me the word is a shorthand for describing a group of behaviours that I believe my wife expresses I am not a professional I just wish to share my lived experience.I will describe some of her behaviour There are events that really stand out in my mind as particularly cruel and demonstrate a lack of any ability to express empathy and then there are the everyday interactions that often seem too trivial to mention but these follow a pattern and are just as destructive possibly more destructive because they are easier to excuse or blame yourself for, they fly under the radar.These examples may seem vindictive and you may think I am getting back at my wife in some way I want to say that non of these events have come out of for example infidelity or massive arguments this is the background noise if you like of our relationship.One of many examples i could list is fairly recently i came out of hospital after a abdominal operation my wife had to pick me up because of the anaesthetic we drove straights from the hospital to the school There are two routes to the school one down a road with about eight speed humps I asked my wife if she could take the other route she ignored me and ignored the obvious pain I was in every time we drove over the speed hump we picked my daughter up and then despite me telling her how much pain I was in drove back the same way. Our relationship is punctuated with events like this that express a complete lack of empathy care and compassion for another human being The everyday events are more like finding out what is important to you what are your core beliefs and then going about trying to undermine them for example if you value truth and openness in a relationship to portray you as a lier My wife knows I like deserts so now if I ever refuse a desert when offered it is proof that I am a lier and nothing I say can be trusted. I have always had pets in my life and would never be cruel to any animal at Christmas the cat was about to climb into the Christmas trees so I grabbed it and pulled it out from behind the tree my wife said do not hit the cat you have a really cruel streak in you. The examples are endless Thanks beherei will continue the post

MissC Spiralling I Just Want to Be Me Again!
  • replies: 3

I am not sure where to begin I have been having serious issues with my mental health for over a year now and it is starting to affect my day to day life, sleep cycle and family dynamic. I feel I am a catastrophic thinker and see the worst in every si... View more

I am not sure where to begin I have been having serious issues with my mental health for over a year now and it is starting to affect my day to day life, sleep cycle and family dynamic. I feel I am a catastrophic thinker and see the worst in every situation. I can't be happy, I don't look forward to anything, I am petrified I am going to lose my family. I have no friends because I was deemed too difficult to be around. I am not socially outgoing either. I panic at the slightest disagreement or bad situation I automatically think the worst case scenario. I have major issues with my eldest son and his partner she verbally and phyically abuses him in front of me but in fear of losing my son I stay quiet. I have tried to discuss this with my son but he shuts me down, he is smitten with this person and has said he can't live without her. My son moved out recently to live with his partner and they are both struggling financially. They come to visit and it makes me feel uncomfortable and I feel I am walking on eggshells around them and am starting to dread every time they want to come stay over. My husband is at his wits end with me all I do is obsess over my son and his wellbeing not a day goes by where I am not mentioning my sons situation. I know what the right thing to do is I just can't train my brain to stop overthinking and spiralling. I am scared I am about to lose everything. Please help me!

Family2026 Family & the guilt of breaking it
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, im at a loss of what to do, I feel like i need & want to end my nearly 10 year relationship / 3 year marriage, we have more than 1 child. My fear is that I will be in a foreign country that I can not currently work due to my children’s h... View more

Hi everyone, im at a loss of what to do, I feel like i need & want to end my nearly 10 year relationship / 3 year marriage, we have more than 1 child. My fear is that I will be in a foreign country that I can not currently work due to my children’s health & I can not get any government assistance. My family support is all in another country I want to move back to but I don’t think my husband will let our children leave with me. I feel out of options staying is effecting my mental health and my children’s as well but they love their dad & would hate for us to break up but I feel physically and emotionally drained. Is there any advice on how to go about this situation? I feel when the time comes and I mention separation & moving he is going to become very difficult to come to understanding my reasonings and I am not in the position to obtain a lawyer. has one one else gone through anything like this?

Guest_16427063 Worried
  • replies: 1

I have recently separated from my husband. It’s only been around 3 weeks ago. We still live in the same house. I look after my three children 7,8&9. He is an alcoholic, although he’d never admit to being one. This is why we are no longer together as ... View more

I have recently separated from my husband. It’s only been around 3 weeks ago. We still live in the same house. I look after my three children 7,8&9. He is an alcoholic, although he’d never admit to being one. This is why we are no longer together as he didn’t put his family first. I look after our children 99% of the time. He doesn’t help in any way, shape or form with them. Pretty much never does anything with them alone, only takes them to his brothers who lives locally. He mentioned he was taking them to an event about 45 minutes away next weekend and it goes from around 4pm until 9pm. He is planning to drive there and come back home after. My concern is that they are going to an event where alcohol will be served and he will have the kids out after dark and will be driving them home. I just don’t trust him and I’m worried about my children’s safety. We don’t have a parenting plan in place yet. Please help, I don’t know what to do

tramezzini Betrayal and humiliation
  • replies: 24

When we first met, our values and morals were completely aligned. Our relationship felt strong, and we built a life together, raising children, sharing responsibilities, and supporting each other. I became runned down from things happening ,life and ... View more

When we first met, our values and morals were completely aligned. Our relationship felt strong, and we built a life together, raising children, sharing responsibilities, and supporting each other. I became runned down from things happening ,life and we talked about it , i didn’t feel like being intimate for a very long time, only on and offs. The first serious betrayal happened in September, after a big fight. He had left for a week so we could get space. Despite that, we continued our relationship. On 26/12, we were intimate. At times, I didn’t want sexual contact because I was tired or exhausted from work, family, and daily life, but I offered other forms of intimacy, which he declined. I felt sad that I couldn’t meet all his needs in the way he wanted, even though I was trying. Then, a few days later, around 3/1, he went to sexual service again. This was shortly after we had spent time together and had been intimate. I discovered this by accident, and it felt like the trust I had was completely shattered. He admitted what he had done and expressed shame, taking responsibility for his actions, but he also said he didn’t know if he would have stopped if I hadn’t found out. That left me feeling scared that this pattern could continue. He has said that he wanted closeness and intimacy, but still sought sexual services elsewhere. It’s hard to reconcile that he wanted connection with me but also chose secrecy and actions that hurt me. We have also discussed how his behavior affects our relationship and the children, though they don’t yet know the details. It’s worrying to think about how this impacts their sense of security and trust. He has started taking on household chores and responsibilities for the kids on his own, which I notice. After 9 years together, it’s hard to understand why these actions happened now. Our intimacy, values, and life together had been strong. Still, these behaviors emerged under stress, exhaustion, and other pressures, showing that patterns and choices sometimes override intentions. This is the timeline of what has happened, how I felt, and the steps being taken to address it. I’m sharing this to be honest about the process, the hurt, and the attempts at accountability, while also acknowledging how complicated and confusing it all is. what would you do?

Behere Overwhelmed
  • replies: 9

I have been married for 15 years and last year was forced into asking some difficult questions about my relationship. I have a teenage daughter who has a diagnosed eating disorder. This has made me examine my relationship and conclude that my wife is... View more

I have been married for 15 years and last year was forced into asking some difficult questions about my relationship. I have a teenage daughter who has a diagnosed eating disorder. This has made me examine my relationship and conclude that my wife is emotionally abusive I would use the term covert narcissist the difficulty with this is she would have to see a psychiatrist or psychologist to be diagnosed she does not believe she has any problems which is part of the disorder so as I understand it is almost impossible to get help.I can’t leave the marriage as I can’t leave my daughter, she is too ill and vulnerable.I could make a list of examples why I think this about my wife but the thing I realised recently is that I had been constantly looking for excuses for her behaviour suddenly when I stopped doing this i could see clearly the long history and patterns of abuse.I have been seeing a psychotherapist and that has been very helpful but I am still in the situation where I can’t walk away.I would be interested in anyone who has a similar lived experience and who has almost overnight realised the abuse they have been experiencing. How do you continue in the relationship with this knowledge with your eyes wide open to the damage and toxicity of the situation

Sammyhen52 Me Time
  • replies: 3

Does anyone else ever wish they could have time living away from their family ? That is how I have been feeling recently.

Does anyone else ever wish they could have time living away from their family ? That is how I have been feeling recently.

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