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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Von is lost Ready for next step but bf doesn’t seem to be
  • replies: 1

Hi all, thanks for listening to my thoughts again.My boyfriend and I are living in different towns due to jobs, which is exciting for us bettering ourselves but I feel like this is affecting our relationships ability to grow. I feel ready for somethi... View more

Hi all, thanks for listening to my thoughts again.My boyfriend and I are living in different towns due to jobs, which is exciting for us bettering ourselves but I feel like this is affecting our relationships ability to grow. I feel ready for something more e.g., moving in together but I’m not too sure where his head is at. I try to drop hints and to bring up the conversation but he’s never fully clear on an answer. We’ve had talks of moving in together before, but since our job situations are a bit tricky he seems to have backtracked on the idea. Obviously we can’t move in together until we are working near each other but for future thinking he doesn’t seem to be giving me much. Or even for plans together like travelling etc he has a hard time committing or something? Or it has to be his idea for it to be followed through.

Janey_beyond Crushes
  • replies: 1

I notice when I ‘like’ someone I get quite obsessive about them and was wondering if there are people who feel the same way? I know it’s likely due to abandonment issues and insecurities, but the rumination sometimes feel out of control. I get super ... View more

I notice when I ‘like’ someone I get quite obsessive about them and was wondering if there are people who feel the same way? I know it’s likely due to abandonment issues and insecurities, but the rumination sometimes feel out of control. I get super excited thinking about this person and what life we would have together but extremely insecure if I got rejected. I know in reality, these ‘relationships’ could never work, but I’ve had crushes where I’ve seen them with other people and wanted to become that person so bad. I develop these feelings extremely quickly, turning into this fantasy where I am constantly thinking about them. Does anyone relate or have any advice?

Kim8375 Loneliness and lack of close connections
  • replies: 1

Hello. I'm at a stage in my life where I'm very lonely and don't have any close connections or relationships. I have a few more surface-level friends and acquaintances, some of whom I know value and care about me, but no one who I can really turn to ... View more

Hello. I'm at a stage in my life where I'm very lonely and don't have any close connections or relationships. I have a few more surface-level friends and acquaintances, some of whom I know value and care about me, but no one who I can really turn to for help or support when I'm feeling lonely or anxious - and they wouldn't know this about me. I often struggle to maintain close relationships and friendships and have lost a few throughout my life, including one good friendship just recently which I cared so much about. I pushed them away because I was too intense and communicated too much, and overstepped a friendship boundary. I didn't see this at the time and now also feel horrible guilt about it and am blaming myself for losing the one good friend I had. (I'm also not sure if they're lost for good or not, or if I'm overthinking or catastrophising the situation.) I think I am autistic and can struggle to read signs and signals in relationships, and can either communicate to much or not enough - I can never seem to get the balance right. I feel that once friends really discover the real me and what I'm like - although they seem to really like me at first - they don't stay around.Just makes me sad that I'm like this and seem to sabotage all my own relationships. I know I shouldn't blame myself and should accept myself for who I am (I do know I am a kind and thoughtful person and friend) and not feel I have to apologise for or change my authentic self, but it's hard.

Guest_93580817 Feeling abandoned
  • replies: 1

Hi,I’ve never posted here before but I’m feeling really alone and I don’t have anyone to reach out to. I have suffered with depression and anxiety for my whole adult life but the last 12 months have been particularly bad with thoughts of suicide. My ... View more

Hi,I’ve never posted here before but I’m feeling really alone and I don’t have anyone to reach out to. I have suffered with depression and anxiety for my whole adult life but the last 12 months have been particularly bad with thoughts of suicide. My best friend has been very supportive but yesterday told me that it’s all too much for her. She wants to put some boundaries to protect her own mental health and her family. The logical side of me understands it but it’s triggered my abandonment issues. I’m devastated, I think she will actually walk away from our friendship. It hurts because she’s such a big part of my life and has always been the one I leant on and vice versa. I feel like I’ve done something wrong and disappointed her. I’m embarrassed and ashamed and I don’t know how to move forward.Has anyone had similar experiences with friends or familyThanks so much

JustineW Burnt Out Need Advice
  • replies: 7

Hi Alli know I posted in 2022 on relationship advice but now it’s different issue. im a single mom. Daughter now 14.5.2 1/2 months ago started awful insomnia waking with racing heart, anxiety and this lead to being exhausted now, depressed and all ov... View more

Hi Alli know I posted in 2022 on relationship advice but now it’s different issue. im a single mom. Daughter now 14.5.2 1/2 months ago started awful insomnia waking with racing heart, anxiety and this lead to being exhausted now, depressed and all over the place. Put on an antidepressant and sleeping pill but still not sleeping properly. Anxiety and depression worsened. Struggling to work and function. Everyone withdrawing from me. Had hormones checked and thyroid and other bloods and all fine. I’m 45 now. Maybe it is hormones but it’s absolutely wrecking my life. I can’t find joy in anything and people are getting angry with me.My daughter struggles with anxiety and it’s affected her schooling. She wants to move back to where we used to live 3 years ago although there’s no guarantee that will make her happier.im so exhausted I’m at wits end. On a tight budget and can’t afford a holiday. All I can do is age care as I’ve been out of office work over ten years. I’d need to do courses but I don’t get that opportunity when I’m fulltime mum. I’ve been offered a break for a month at friends at coast which is so far from where I am. I’m North Queensland and they’re sunny coast. I’d have to pack in my job and sell up in order to take that break. I’m not happy where I live anymore because I’m just in a bad headspace. My son is at sunny coast with his partner. It’s expensive there.My ex husband who is in another part of qld wants my daughter to come live with him and his partner. My daughter says no. I am just feeling so torn. I need a break. I don’t know how to cope or get her through high school which she’s already missed too much of. Her dad can raise her more successfully is how I’m feeling now. It would be hard parting with her and then I’d only see her some school holidays when I can afford the travel. I really don’t know if I should send her to her dad and then try sort myself out. If this whatever it is I’m dealing with continues, I’m no good to anyone. I’m scared.

JayCee28 Trauma and anxiety marriage/ kids/ court
  • replies: 3

I had a child impact report today, I feel like I failed it, I was so upset about what my ex was saying about me that I forgot things ( when asked) what he did to control and manipulate me.. I went into trauma mode I’m so upset with myself, forgetting... View more

I had a child impact report today, I feel like I failed it, I was so upset about what my ex was saying about me that I forgot things ( when asked) what he did to control and manipulate me.. I went into trauma mode I’m so upset with myself, forgetting things that would defend me in the way I was treated for over a decade.Now everything is just playing over in my head, all the things he has done, and is still doing . I wont get another chance to let them hear my side, I’m just disappointed in the way it went.Aside from having SPR and dealing with child’s side of everything, I have put off my need for help throughout this all, I do need help.It’s such a big job being mum and dad when child doesn’t want contact with dad.I’m so busy rushing around to and from appointments for child and home life I barely have time for me . Im just disappointed with myself and anxious that ( I cried ) and didn’t get my point across, what I needed to say.Over a decade condensed in to an hr for the report I couldn’t do it, it was too much, hearing what he was saying about me and the trauma I’m left with.For me it’s a sad day

Guest_61430725 Struggling with Partner’s Gambling Addiction and Dishonesty
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone,I’m reaching out because I’m feeling overwhelmed and hurt right now. My partner has a gambling addiction that has left him in a significant amount of debt. Despite this, he works most of the time and has recently sold his car, so I know h... View more

Hi everyone,I’m reaching out because I’m feeling overwhelmed and hurt right now. My partner has a gambling addiction that has left him in a significant amount of debt. Despite this, he works most of the time and has recently sold his car, so I know he has the funds to budget properly.We had planned to go to Scotland (my home country) with my family at the end of the year, and he initially said he would try to budget for it. However, he recently told me he probably won’t come. I even offered to help pay for his flights, but what hurts the most is the false hope he gave me.I also know that he has been gambling online most days since we made the plan, and he has lied to me about it. He’s been getting help, which is good, but the continued gambling and dishonesty are breaking my heart. I feel stuck because I want our relationship to work with my whole heart, but his actions and words aren’t aligning. I’m scared to confront him because I don’t want to make things worse or cause him to hide it more in the future.I feel so hurt and disappointed, and I don’t know how to deal with these emotions. I want to create a safe space for honesty and support his recovery, but I can’t handle the lies and broken promises.Has anyone else been through something similar? How did you handle it? Any advice on how to approach this conversation or cope with these feelings would be greatly appreciated.Thank you for listening.

Scoota Feeling lost
  • replies: 1

Hi I'm feeling really depressed and down. I already suffer from major depression disorder and severe anxiety. I've been married for 23 years my husband IS FIFO and I enjoy my 2 weeks when he is away working. As soon as it gets time for him to return ... View more

Hi I'm feeling really depressed and down. I already suffer from major depression disorder and severe anxiety. I've been married for 23 years my husband IS FIFO and I enjoy my 2 weeks when he is away working. As soon as it gets time for him to return for a week off. I get really depressed and anxious. I have trouble communicating with my husband when I discuss our future ? He snapped at me last time I asked. Saying "If you are not happy, pack your beds and F off." I cannot get this out of my head I keep thinking about what he said. This is not the first time either. He is very jealous and has anger management problems which he won't admit to. I'm definitely scared of him. I don't know how to handle my life when I live like this. I am a very sensitive person kind and always caring. Just trying enjoy the rest of my life. With tears in my eyes. I need help and thoughts of what I should do with my life ??

ssSushiCat My narsist father won't leave me alone I do not know what to do
  • replies: 3

To be honest I do not know what to do. Not sure if this is the right place to even post this, but I think Ineed some advice.About a year ago I used to live with my father. He was very emotionally abusive and I finally managed to get the fuck out at t... View more

To be honest I do not know what to do. Not sure if this is the right place to even post this, but I think Ineed some advice.About a year ago I used to live with my father. He was very emotionally abusive and I finally managed to get the fuck out at the beginning of this year. Living with him really affected my mental health and it's been taking a while to recover. (But honestly life had been great without him).I thought I managed to cut him off completely. ( I literally have him blocked on everything I could possibly have). But for some reason he keeps trying to interfere with my life. (There was an incident a while back where he called my mother to ask her what I was doing (She didn't tell him anything and blocked him) and he also for some reason sent me a Happy New Year email which I deleted and blocked him on there.)Yesterday was my birthday and he for some reason decided to send me a bouget of many pink flowers that was delivered to my door. Not only was this a terrible gift for me because 1. I do not like flowers and 2. I do not like pink. 3. Part of the gift were also many sweets that I also do not like/can't eat. But also it just triggered something in me. Why did he do this? What was the plan here? Like he knows what I actually like and he knows what I don't like. (This man raised me for 18 years). So unless he has a very bad case of amnesia this was obviously not an attempt to give me a nice nice gift. What the hell does he want from me? Leave me alone.To be honest am afraid that he will try to weasel his way back into my life. Show up at my door or uni or work. I don't want to see him, talk to him or receive presents from him.I just want him to leave me alone and stop trying to interfere with my life! I need some perspective what should I do here? Am I overthinking?

Tonyh Stepchild giving me anxiety (please help)
  • replies: 12

So I have an adult stepdaughter who is 20 and living with us, everyday I come home from work I find plates and mess left around the kitchen. I am forever asking her nicely to clean up after herself only to be met with attitude and anger. I keep telli... View more

So I have an adult stepdaughter who is 20 and living with us, everyday I come home from work I find plates and mess left around the kitchen. I am forever asking her nicely to clean up after herself only to be met with attitude and anger. I keep telling the missus and she says well ask to to clean it and I try to explain that its not getting anywhere and can she talk to her. The problem is im not sure anything is getting said as it still keeps happening. Lately she has been parking behind my car in my driveway purposely blocking me in even though I left her space to park beside me. The comments and attitude im getting is almost making life not worth living there. If it weren't for my 9 year old daughter I'd move out as I am at my boiling point with this crap cause i just wanna have some peace in my life but there is always something that pisses her off and the whole house has to know it apparently. What's really frustrating is that my partner is always being nice about everything with her which makes me feel like she is nurturing her attitude and giving her the idea that she can keep doin it. What the hell am I supposed to do? My lil girl is always coming up to me asking if im ok as she can clearly see this is affecting me. Anyway any advice would be very helpful now because I feel like im supposed to just live with this crap. Thanks for your time