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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Sadmama93 Postpartum depression- strong dislike for my baby.
  • replies: 2

TWI believe I am severely depressed. I dislike and am embarrassed of my baby. I had a traumatic birth and couldnt breastfeed. I just feel everything is so so wrong with this particular baby. I see the other well developed breastfed babies and look at... View more

TWI believe I am severely depressed. I dislike and am embarrassed of my baby. I had a traumatic birth and couldnt breastfeed. I just feel everything is so so wrong with this particular baby. I see the other well developed breastfed babies and look at my idiot baby on formula. I am also triggered by people talking about loving the natural childbirth experience etc. My jaw, arms and head hurts all the time. So much worse since having a baby. I dont want to be here anymore or be a mother.

PPPPPPP_ Something is wrong with me.
  • replies: 3

Hi, Idk whats wrong with me I don't know why I am like this. I really wish I wasn't. I am currently a college student yr11-yr12 so it has definetly been stressful haha but I dont know why I am like this it actually pains me why cant I be normal. I ha... View more

Hi, Idk whats wrong with me I don't know why I am like this. I really wish I wasn't. I am currently a college student yr11-yr12 so it has definetly been stressful haha but I dont know why I am like this it actually pains me why cant I be normal. I have a loving family, an older sister, mum and dad and they are the best but we always have fights, like normal families but I always cry. I always cry at little arguments, I always have a hint of breaking down in my voice at big arguments and am asked why I am crying. I don't know if I have anger issues but I probably do? I get irritated at very little things and complain without actually thinking how it effects the person, or when its not the correct time like once my sister, my older one was wearing my earrings and I got instantly mad, this is when the door was open and she was holding my dog bc he always trys to run out and I asked her can you take it off, completely ignoring the fact that she was holding my dog? and now i was told about it by my mum how i acted which I understand now but I get irritated at so many little things and dont think in the moment, then later I do all alone in my bed and get embarrased. Why did I do that. I feel like im always a drama queen or thats how I'm painted as, like a villain in the house and i understand I really wish I wouldnt. I dont know if its either all this built up resentment, I always cry I wish I didnt, im supposed to be mature. I know I am like this but I don't have anyone to talk to when my feelings are hurt or I could just ball out to and hopefully someone will answer me, or even a sorry in cases when its not my fault, little things hurt. I am really lonely. Most of my feelings and arguments are like this at home, bc when we get into my arguments its always "you always do this and that you never did this" and I start breaking down, Afterwards that none of my family members talk to me or wants to resolve with me. I know im like this once again but I feel like I haven;t got the mental help or genuine help to be heard and help me deal with these feelings (etc crying, arguing and complaining a lot). I don't know if its bc i'm the youngest sibling? I sometimes feel like im a clown embarrased just for complaining about something little or even no one taking me seriously bc im the youngest, and when I complain for something little, I understand it later but its embarrasing, or when I complain for something or cry i feel embarrased. I've even asked gpt if Im valid help

Sammy Stressed
  • replies: 2

Following on from my thread I am now living together with my boyfriend just been a week as we had been on long distance for 1 year.now my heart says noUnder one roof I don’t feel attracted to him . We are 49,58 years oldI was all happy talking to him... View more

Following on from my thread I am now living together with my boyfriend just been a week as we had been on long distance for 1 year.now my heart says noUnder one roof I don’t feel attracted to him . We are 49,58 years oldI was all happy talking to him for last year and now I see he is not physically attractive, not enthusiastic about finding a job, self centred, superficial, very basic human to me . Have to start partner visa if I agree to go ahead as he needs it to start work herenow I feel bad to have brought him here. Not excited but also feel not great options in the pooldont want to be alone and single First 2 months I enjoyed and when I saw he was tight fisted, not providing them my attraction started fading but we both kept pushing forward as we wanted it to worksoo much time energy and plans wastedif it’s just living together and see how it goes then it’s okbut Visa process has to start which involves money and effort what’s pulling me into it…. Finding it hard

Alwayswrong1 Stuck and confused
  • replies: 4

I feel like I’m always wrong all my bad choices and mistakes are thrown at me and never praised for the good ones. I’m estrangement from my adult child and don’t see my grandkids whom I had an amazing relationship with. I’ve made mistakes and I’m try... View more

I feel like I’m always wrong all my bad choices and mistakes are thrown at me and never praised for the good ones. I’m estrangement from my adult child and don’t see my grandkids whom I had an amazing relationship with. I’ve made mistakes and I’m trying to be a better person. I feel like every decision I make isn’t the right one somehow it upsets someone or isn’t the right thing to do etc. I have tried to teach myself how to be a good person how to not react and to think before reacting and it’s helping but no matterhow hard I try not it never is appreciated or acknowledged at what point does my past become my past?

MissJ94 Overwhelmed single mum with no support
  • replies: 2

Ive been through a lot in the last two years because of my ex, who was abusive. And to me, if you really look at things, I feel like he is still being abusive. 2025, I had a 3.5 week voluntary mental health stay with my baby who is now 13months. I ha... View more

Ive been through a lot in the last two years because of my ex, who was abusive. And to me, if you really look at things, I feel like he is still being abusive. 2025, I had a 3.5 week voluntary mental health stay with my baby who is now 13months. I had one 3 day involuntary mental health admissions. I was sectioned under the mental health act twice. My diagnosis is BPD and cPTSD. I just want to be the old me again. I was damaged before, but because of the ex and everything hes done, I feel like im irreparable now. He took out an AVO on me because I was contacting him about our baby, he had told me he wants to be in the babys life but wasn't showing up. I ended up spam texting him telling him to just admit he doesnt want to be in the babys life and then ill never contact him again. So instead of admitting that, he took out the avo and now im not allowed to contact him. He goes around saying I dont let him see his son, that I dont put effort in. But he forgets to mention to people the full story. I have a 14 year old and a 13 month old, different fathers. I have no issues with my 14 year old, hes not as dependent on me now hes older.My 13 month old though. I ended up screaming at him yesterday because he wanted to be held the whole day. Hes been clingy the last few days and I was all touched out, I had had enough, I was becoming overwhelmed and angry. When that happens it all gets directed at his father. Knowing that the baby is half his father, makes me not want to even look at him. He was crying even if I stood up! So I yelled, telling him to shut up. Thoughts of putting both of them into foster care, or me just getting in the car and driving off to start a new life.I dont want to be like that. I dont want to be thinking like that. I hate myself for it. But after everything his father has done, I cant help it at times. Any normal situation youd be able to send someone a message or call them asking if they can help put in those times of being overwhelmed but I have no one. And im sick of it. How hard is it to be a parent if thats what you want. And if you dont, why not just say it! If I could have, I would have messaged the ex yesterday asking for him to come take his son for a few hours so I can regulate, but im not allowed to! I hate it! I hate doing it all myself, on my own! I was a single mum to my eldest and now to my youngest, I never wanted any of this. What supports are out there to actually help? When those times of overwhelm come on and I just dont want anything to do with the baby, what do I do? Because im scared that one day ill get so overwhelmed that id do something bad. I do love my sons, we have more good times than bad. But those bad times, im really not coping at all. Its like I need an on call support person to take over at those times, to keep baby occupied so I can calm down and hit the reset button. I just dont know what to do anymore and I hate it

Lost23 Relationship advice
  • replies: 5

Hi, hope everyone is well. So im mid 40s M and my partner is mid 30s F, its a interracial relationship. We have been together 4 years, we have never lived together as im from the country and she is in the city. At first I would visit her for 3 or 4 d... View more

Hi, hope everyone is well. So im mid 40s M and my partner is mid 30s F, its a interracial relationship. We have been together 4 years, we have never lived together as im from the country and she is in the city. At first I would visit her for 3 or 4 days at a time due to my work schedule, we have had the usual arguments about my ex, she suffers from anxiety which I new from the very beginning, so we had arguments which turned in to personal attacks the usual your not a man, im not your mother, you dress ugly, you never do anything and more. I would always point out her behaviour, but never point out her flaws. The intimacy was always amazing. I always helped her financially as she didnt work up untill mid last year, I mean paid for everything Bond for her, rent, food, trips overseas to see her family, hotels and a lot more, this never bothered me because I know she is the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. At the moment I pay half her rent and still pay for food and necessities. But when I try and explain that I need to save money to buy a house, she says I shouldn't of offered to pay for everything. Which im guilty of getting frustrated and angry, because I work overtime regularly. It's a constant struggle ATM but I just gotta keep going. As of a couple of months ago, very limited intimacy, as when I visit her we argue about petty things, like the footwear I was wearing, then the directions when we went for a walk, what to eat, I cooked dinner the lettuce was to big in the salad, then the way I cleaned the bathroom, it was just a mess, I had to sleep on the floor in the lounge room, I bought her a couch the next day put it together, and at the time I was angry and frustrated then I wanted to talk about us, that we need to talk about the previous day, it was about me not being a man and I need to go to therapy, I said we needed to go to couples councillors which turned into nothing is her fault, but I blame her for everything, she told her sister she was single, I tried to ask about that and she told me she has not told or family or friends about me cause they wouldn't accept and I said how would you know they have never met me, me only met one friend but im unsure what she has told her, she has met my parents, she shuts out any kind of conversation about how she feels, so I left and get a message I always argue, don't get me wrong I know that it takes 2 people to argue and im not perfect, but I never use her insecurities against her. I have asked her what she sees in me and just tells me what's wrong with me, And I know her mental health is not helping the situations. I just want advice and please don't hesitate to ask for more context, do I just keep trying or do I just walk away

Tri71Cr Isolation
  • replies: 6

Well. I'm done. Done getting judged by everyone, their condescending remarks and how they treat me. Calling me heartless, insinuating that I only care about money, that I complain, are a troublemaker. Tired of being undermined and treated like I'm th... View more

Well. I'm done. Done getting judged by everyone, their condescending remarks and how they treat me. Calling me heartless, insinuating that I only care about money, that I complain, are a troublemaker. Tired of being undermined and treated like I'm the one with the problem and are delusional. Tired of Doctors not giving a stuff then putting it all on me. I'm sick to my core and tired of everybody's shit.

DGC_19 Ongoing grief and depression
  • replies: 1

Hi, Was hoping that there are some coping mechanisms for grief? My father passed away 2 years ago and i was very close to him and during my adult life he was a great support when i was suffering periods of depression. Now that he he gone i feel like ... View more

Hi, Was hoping that there are some coping mechanisms for grief? My father passed away 2 years ago and i was very close to him and during my adult life he was a great support when i was suffering periods of depression. Now that he he gone i feel like i don't have anyone. I find myself constantly crying and being emotional and honestly it feels like the more time passes the more it hurts. I come from a family of 6 siblings and a mother who has never expressed love for me and i remember being 7 years old asking my father if my mother loves me. During childhood and adulthood she has excluded me from family activities purposely and my siblings don't visit me unless they need something. I feel like im driving myself crazy going out of my way to try and make them love me by going out of my way to do anything and everything for them in hopes they'd might want to visit me. I know i should stop but i know im going to truly be alone when i do and that scares me.

Aurora22 Issues in relationship from depression and loss
  • replies: 2

I have been with my partner for almost five years, and overall it has been a fantastic relationship. They live with depression and anxiety, and while I am proud they have started getting professional support, it has taken a long time to get here. Ove... View more

I have been with my partner for almost five years, and overall it has been a fantastic relationship. They live with depression and anxiety, and while I am proud they have started getting professional support, it has taken a long time to get here. Over that time, our connection, intimacy, and day-to-day relationship have been impacted. I hold some resentment and anger also that it has taken so long although I am trying to work through it. I understand mental health plays a big role, but I am struggling to separate what is related to that and what is not. I often feel like I am carrying most of the emotional responsibility in the relationship, and that my own needs come second. We argue more than we used to, and daily it is just “going through the motions” and I feel worn down trying to hold everything together. This has also been a very hard year for me personally. I lost my dad five months ago to cancer and have been under ongoing work stress. I had to keep functioning while also trying to support my partner, and I’m exhausted. I do not feel like I have much space to process my own grief or needs, and I am not sure how to move forward from here. Does any one have any tips on how to look after yourself and not take things so personally in a relationship whilst still being supportive?

John78 Mid 40s and childless
  • replies: 4

Im about to turn 45 and Im currently childless and single. This had hit me so hard with the realisation that I have little chance of becoming a father. All my friends and family have kids that are well into there teens, and I feel that I've missed so... View more

Im about to turn 45 and Im currently childless and single. This had hit me so hard with the realisation that I have little chance of becoming a father. All my friends and family have kids that are well into there teens, and I feel that I've missed something in life. Even in my mid 30s, becoming a father wasnt on my mind and I didnt really think about it. Now, turning 45, its like I've woken up and its hit me straight in the face, and its now too late. When i turned 40, i had the same feeling but now im turning 45, Its killing me inside and I cant stop thinking about it.

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