Relationship and family issues

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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
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Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Aleksis Feeling emotionally overwhelmed in my relationship
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I feel emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed lately.I’m in a relationship where another girl developed feelings for my partner, and even though he says he chose me, the situation has been going on for months and it deeply affected my sense of safety ... View more

I feel emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed lately.I’m in a relationship where another girl developed feelings for my partner, and even though he says he chose me, the situation has been going on for months and it deeply affected my sense of safety and trust.I feel constantly anxious and triggered whenever I see her name or hear about her. It got to the point where I can’t calm my thoughts down and I feel like I’m emotionally breaking apart inside.I know I’ve become reactive and emotional, but I also feel hurt because my intuition about the situation turned out to be real. I’m struggling with jealousy, fear of abandonment, anxiety and feeling like I’m “not enough”.At the same time, I still love him and I don’t want to destroy the relationship. I just don’t know how to stop feeling this constant panic and emotional pain.I think I need help learning how to calm my mind and feel safe in myself again.I also think an important part of this is that I never fully healed emotionally after being betrayed before in this relationship.I forgave him because I truly love him and wanted us to move forward, but I think a part of me still stayed scared and emotionally unsafe inside.Now this situation with another girl having feelings for him is bringing all of those old fears and wounds back to the surface again.It makes everything feel more intense, and sometimes I feel like I’m constantly waiting to get hurt again even when I don’t want to think that way.What also makes it harder is that she is still constantly around him and often takes his emotional attention even during the time that is supposed to be ours together.I understand that she is struggling and I truly don’t want to be cruel or heartless, but emotionally it has become extremely overwhelming for me.I don’t want to become controlling or toxic. I just feel emotionally exhausted from constantly feeling anxious, triggered and emotionally unsafe in my own relationship.

Guest_09942126 The Loop
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i have found myself anxiously attached to a man i work with. I tried to not pay attention at first but so many times i would catch him staring at me and when caught he would not look away and stare directly into my eyes even across the room and he wo... View more

i have found myself anxiously attached to a man i work with. I tried to not pay attention at first but so many times i would catch him staring at me and when caught he would not look away and stare directly into my eyes even across the room and he would just folllow me with his eyes and not look away. I would be doing anything and no matter what he would be looking at me. I have been working at this same place for 2 years almost and it has died down quite a bit but it has caused me to have feelings for him and i panic when i cant see him but he has become very avoident and put up so many boundaries now. I just dont know how to detach, he has gotten in my head and ive tried everything and i also had another job lined up but didnt take it because i didnt have clarity and i felt tied emotionally. It has been a horrible loop.

dontseethepoint Feeling like there's no point after recent breakup
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I am 18F and i have BPD/BPD traits. about 3 weeks ago i was broken up with by my girlfriend of 8 months because she could not deal with my mental health problems. I don't blame her for that. I was very much in love with her, and i still am, even thou... View more

I am 18F and i have BPD/BPD traits. about 3 weeks ago i was broken up with by my girlfriend of 8 months because she could not deal with my mental health problems. I don't blame her for that. I was very much in love with her, and i still am, even though i feel like i hate her a lot of the time. Since the breakup, I don't ever feel good, i am in a constant low mood and it gets especially bad when I'm by myself. I am afraid that i will never get better, that I will always think of her and miss her, that nobody as good as her will ever love me. The way i feel is horrible and dreadful and so painfully intense that I cannot imagine going on like this. I don't want to kill myself, but i feel as though I'm being backed into a corner here- like I have no choice. I need somebody or something to make me feel better. It's all too much. I've been put on two medications but i've not noticed any improvements in my mood yet. I've only been on the one for a few weeks though. I want to be better.

Guest_44200220 Stepkids
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My husband has children by his previous marriage that range from 56 - 50 years old. I have learnt to deal with them not having much interest in me or my family, one in particular who loves to show me photos of my husband with her deceased mother. I h... View more

My husband has children by his previous marriage that range from 56 - 50 years old. I have learnt to deal with them not having much interest in me or my family, one in particular who loves to show me photos of my husband with her deceased mother. I have 3 children of my own. My 40 yo son does not like my husband and does not acknowledge him. My husband turns away whenever he approaches. It stems from a family event where my husband criticised my children’s behaviour. He apologised to one child but not to my son and he says he never will. It makes it so difficult for me. I feel like I can’t invite him to where we live which is owned by my husband. I tell my husband to suck it up like I have with his family and keep trying. But my son ignores him too

Jasper Feeling stuck
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Last year, something happened between myself and a friend (whom I had feelings for) that led me to believe they felt the same. It was after three weeks of this that I found it basically meant nothing to them. I spent eight months blaming myself, sayi... View more

Last year, something happened between myself and a friend (whom I had feelings for) that led me to believe they felt the same. It was after three weeks of this that I found it basically meant nothing to them. I spent eight months blaming myself, saying I shouldn’t have read into things or gotten my hopes up, but I’ve realised that it’s not completely my fault. They shouldn’t have switched up like that after two years of things being normal, and they should’ve told me how they felt sooner without needing me to prompt them. I’ve just been so angry since. As guilty as it makes me feel, I think I need to cut ties with them. I know the mature thing to do would be to have a conversation about it, but the thought of that is sickening. I just can’t. Basically, I need an honest opinion of if it’s really shitty of me to cut ties.

N888 Teenage daughter
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My relationship is not good with my 20 year daughter and she is rebelling against us. I need advice please.

My relationship is not good with my 20 year daughter and she is rebelling against us. I need advice please.

booga feeling suffocated in a friendship
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every time i make friends, at some point in the relationship theres always a point where they have a bunch of issues and they just vent it out onto me every single time, be it just talking about their problems or taking it out on me. and every single... View more

every time i make friends, at some point in the relationship theres always a point where they have a bunch of issues and they just vent it out onto me every single time, be it just talking about their problems or taking it out on me. and every single time, i just can't deal with it. i'm not good at comforting people who are upset, nor do i like having someone's pain being taken out on me. this time around, my friend is just talking about their issues a lot, and i know they need an outlet and that its okay to be sad, but it feels like theyre always sad, always talking about their problems, and when they aren't, it feels like i have to walk on eggshells with my words, because one wrong word and itll upset them. today we had plans to hang out, but then they had to do something with family, and so i was offered to go out of town with my dad, so i accepted, but right as i left, they told me they just finished the movie, and we couldn't hang out. it feels like every second of every day i am just waiting to do something with them, and then when its night time (when my creative juices are flowing, as said in my previous post) i cant even stay up because they want me to go to bed just for a chance to us to spend time together. it feels like i never have time to do things for myself, time to draw for myself, or anything. theyre not as mean as im making them out to be btw, its just. ive dealt with terrible people in the past and those experiences make me feel like i have to be the perfect friend or just the friend that always says yes. im so sick of it. i just want time to myself to do my own things and indulge in my own interests but i also dont want to lose my friendship with them but i also want to stop worrying about them all the time.

Guest_55050864 My friend is driving me crazy and I don’t know what to do
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I have a friend (let’s call him John) that as of recent had been getting on my nerves a lot more than he usually does. this all started when I was in a very toxic relationship with 2 people. They did not treat me well and John knew about this. After ... View more

I have a friend (let’s call him John) that as of recent had been getting on my nerves a lot more than he usually does. this all started when I was in a very toxic relationship with 2 people. They did not treat me well and John knew about this. After we broke up, John got closer to them even after I had warned him about them and he had seen what type of people they were before they got close, so he knew what he was getting into. Knowing all of this, he still got closer with both of my exes and was obviously hurt by them. Which, if you ask me was entirely his fault. I’m not going to say specifically what happened, but both of them were dating and displayed too much affection around him to the point where he now has trauma with relationships. Keep in mind he knew that they did this before he got close to them. But now, he’s taken his bad experiences with these guys and made it everybody else’s problem. You’re not allowed to even mention relationships around him or he’ll get pissy. Relationships are a part of life and he doesn’t understand that. It’s gotten so bad, that when i announced I had a boyfriend to my friend group, not even 5 minutes later he messaged me saying he was going to hang out with the group less because of the fact we were dating. He’s making my own relationship about him, and I know if I try to speak to him about it it’s just going to end up with him mad and us in an argument. I’m starting to dread being around him, because on top of that, everything upsets him so it’s like walking on eggshells around him. What could I possibly do to stop all of this?

lxlliipop gettibg help
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hello! im lollipop and i really struggle with opening up. These recent weeks i believe ive built up too much pressure and stress on myself and it's been feeling foggy and numb (only when im alone but otherwise happy). I dont know how to reach out for... View more

hello! im lollipop and i really struggle with opening up. These recent weeks i believe ive built up too much pressure and stress on myself and it's been feeling foggy and numb (only when im alone but otherwise happy). I dont know how to reach out for help, i worry that it'll crush my friends to know that i'm struggling and i hate the attention of it as well. All the people i feel comfortable enough to reach out to have their own problems that i know of as they have come to me for help and comfort. Ive managed to actually send messages to my friends but i always end up deleting them and making an excuse for pings. Genuinely how do i get myself to open up to others without feeling disgusted?

CaringDad Struggling with conflict at home and trying to hold myself together as a dad
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I’m a dad of two young children and I feel like I’m reaching a breaking point emotionally. Things at home between my wife and I have deteriorated badly over the past months and especially recently. There is a lot of tension, criticism, hostility and ... View more

I’m a dad of two young children and I feel like I’m reaching a breaking point emotionally. Things at home between my wife and I have deteriorated badly over the past months and especially recently. There is a lot of tension, criticism, hostility and verbal conflict. We barely communicate normally anymore unless it’s about the children or practical things.I feel constantly on edge in my own home. I try very hard to avoid arguments and de-escalate things, but even small interactions seem to become tense. I often feel criticised, dismissed or provoked, and when things escalate I end up emotionally overwhelmed and anxious. Recently I’ve been experiencing panic attacks, anxiety, racing thoughts at night and inability to sleep properly. Some nights I wake up at 3 or 4am and cannot get back to sleep.The hardest part is that I genuinely care deeply about my children and being a good father. I look after them every day, help with routines, daycare, meals, baths, bedtime, and I love them more than anything. My biggest fear right now is the idea of separation and somehow losing meaningful time with them or the stability of family life.At the same time, I know the current environment is unhealthy and emotionally exhausting for everyone. I’m trying to function normally, continue working, care for the kids, and keep myself calm, but internally I feel very broken down and emotionally drained.I often times feel successful at work and momentarily proud and confident again. But coming home to conflict and emotional distance has made the contrast really hard mentally.I’ve started reaching out for support, including legal advice and now posting here because I think I need help navigating this in a healthier way. I don’t want constant fighting. I don’t want my children growing up around tension and resentment but don't want to be forced to be away from them. I also don’t want to lose myself emotionally.I guess I’m posting because I feel isolated and overwhelmed, and I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar and how they managed to cope emotionally while still showing up as a parent.Thanks for reading