Support
Support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a conversation

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Categories
Start a conversation

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a conversation

Kim1988 Newborn baby struggles
  • replies: 11

Hi all. I’m 8 days postpartum now after a C-section and I’m a first time Mum. I love my little boy to the moon and back. Before my little boy was born I had never had much experience looking after small babies and I’ve never been particularly materna... View more

Hi all. I’m 8 days postpartum now after a C-section and I’m a first time Mum. I love my little boy to the moon and back. Before my little boy was born I had never had much experience looking after small babies and I’ve never been particularly maternal, unlike my sister. I like kids, but just never had that natural motherly flair. I’m struggling with getting the hang of the basics i.e. nappy changing, correct way to hold the baby. My husband on the other hand picked things up like a pro. My husband has been very helpful luckily. My little boy is so serene and peaceful during the day, but at night it’s a struggle sometimes to settle him down. It stresses me out when he cries so much. He was so attached to me in the hospital. He loved sleeping in my arms, now we’re at home and there’s more people around so I think he’s not as attached to me as he was in the hospital. I feel like such a bad mother cause sometimes I feel like I’ll never get the hang of things. I’m sure my little boy can pick up on the fact that I don’t have a lot of confidence with him. He’s such a sweet baby and I just want to do a good job for him and to be happy and healthy.

Melf Partner needs a break
  • replies: 1

My partner and I have been together for 7 years. We still live separately. All I want is to be a family. Lately he has begun to feel empty and completely run down. He says he's in a rut with everything and he doesn't get excited about anything in his... View more

My partner and I have been together for 7 years. We still live separately. All I want is to be a family. Lately he has begun to feel empty and completely run down. He says he's in a rut with everything and he doesn't get excited about anything in his life. He doesn't really talk to me. I really want the relationship to work. I love him alot. On Sunday he asked me for space and hasn't spoken to me. I'm so lost and confused and I don't know if I should have hope or if he has given up on us. I don't know if it's the depression or if he just doesn't want to be with me. I don't think he has the space to think about me right now because of how he feels in himself. What should I do to look after both of us? I am have lost my person and I don't know if he will ever want me back. I feel like I'm living in a nightmare

Guest_13542794 He won’t get go
  • replies: 1

Hello First time here. I’m struggling and need to get this out. I’ve been married for 20 years. It’s been an unhappy marriage for a long time now. And it’s truly starting to get toxic. I’m angry and resentful for a number of reasons and I believe the... View more

Hello First time here. I’m struggling and need to get this out. I’ve been married for 20 years. It’s been an unhappy marriage for a long time now. And it’s truly starting to get toxic. I’m angry and resentful for a number of reasons and I believe the best path forward is to separate. But he’s not making it easy. We have two teenage kids. And his main reason for not agreeing, despite seeing the relationship is toxic, is he doesn’t want to lose daily access to the kids. One of the main reason for the unhappy marriage is that he’s not emotionally available for the kids or I over the years. He has anxiety issues and I’ve tried to be supportive over the years but I’ve had enough. It’s taken its toll on my own mental health. So I asked for a year separation, but he refused to give it to me. Constantly in my face about fixing it and that he will change. He’s had 20 years and I’ve had enough. Im at my wits end. I know I don’t need his permission to leave. Im trying to find my own place but that’s proving difficult when you don’t have rental history. So for the mean time we are in the same house. He’s in my face daily about how he’s changed and is more present and doing more housework. All I want is to be left alone. But he can’t or won’t do that. So I’m the one screaming to he left alone. He seems to think this toxic set up is better for the kids than living apart. I cannot understand how someone can think that. I will ask him if his kids came to him in a few years and tell him they are unhappy in their marriage and it’s toxic, would he honestly tell them to stay. For kids sake. That their happiness did not matter? Quite frankly kids aren’t happy here. They feel the tension. Is only him. He doesn’t want to not see them daily. Even though over the years, he’s been on his phone for most of their lives which is why they are not close to him. But because he’s “changed” now, he expects us to be happily family again. We’ve had many fights over the years with many broken promises. It’s only now that he sees I’ve completely detached that this magical change occurred. It’s many years too late. It took me years to slowly detach, he didn’t care then. And since detaching. I see so many things that said why did I wait so long He doesn’t respect boundaries. It’s always his comfort that’s most important. Every single time. I’m at a point where I might just hurt myself so I can finally free of his draining ways. But I can’t do that to my kids because I know they feel it too. Thanks for reading.

Da1syy problems with home
  • replies: 3

Hey y'all sorry if my spelling is a bit wrong or if my grammar is messed up also sorry if somethings don't make sense. So at home my dad keeps yelling at me for no reason and I know that it sounds like a minor problem but its gotten to the point wher... View more

Hey y'all sorry if my spelling is a bit wrong or if my grammar is messed up also sorry if somethings don't make sense. So at home my dad keeps yelling at me for no reason and I know that it sounds like a minor problem but its gotten to the point where I've been scared to ask for help and when I get a bad grade/have overdue homework. I've been scared for when I get homework because my memory is bad so I forget to do it so my dad yells at me and threatens to throw me out of the house or take all my things while I'm not home and throw them onto the streets. He's yelled at me so much so now I've got such a soft heart so I sometimes take it seriously and then I just start to cry. At this point I don't feel safe in my own home and I'm always scared to come home after school and stuff and at this point I'm just looking for advice because I don't know what to do anymore.

se3re1 family arguments bc of me
  • replies: 1

hey all, hope ur all doing well! i was just looking for some advice/comfort, a bit of a vent.so my mum and i fight a lot and we both go off at each other. my dad steps in for me as i think my mum is a bit mean to me. but it makes them fight and he sa... View more

hey all, hope ur all doing well! i was just looking for some advice/comfort, a bit of a vent.so my mum and i fight a lot and we both go off at each other. my dad steps in for me as i think my mum is a bit mean to me. but it makes them fight and he says he doesn't like her sometimes and i just am sick of causing conflict what do i doand i mean they ARGUEabt me.

Guest_40912784 Should I leave my marriage of 25 years?
  • replies: 3

Been together 25 years (married 22), I’m 42. There’s a pattern of behaviour our whole marriage, where if we’re happy we’re great but if I bring up an issue, he becomes extremely defensive, sarcastic, passive aggressive. Sometimes just aggressive (sla... View more

Been together 25 years (married 22), I’m 42. There’s a pattern of behaviour our whole marriage, where if we’re happy we’re great but if I bring up an issue, he becomes extremely defensive, sarcastic, passive aggressive. Sometimes just aggressive (slamming doors and denying it, punching his fist into his hand etc).I call him out on it every time, sometimes we argue about it for days/weeks/months until it goes quiet and is all just swept under the rug and no one mentions it again and we go back to being happy. These incidents happen multiple times a year. We’ve never had a full year without at least one of these arguments but they’re usually every few months.Sometimes over just simple things like me asking him to please read my text messages.Theres been a lot of incidents over the years to me and the kids.I have felt very emotionally neglected over the years.Last year we argued for 2 months and I told him I was done and I’d found a rental, he asked me to stay and try again. He said he’d ‘try’ to change his behaviour. I always struggle with wanting to leave and then getting sucked back into our regular happy family life, the. I’m happy and it’s like I forget all the bad things that had just happened or think maybe I was overreacting or the problem.I stayed and there was so much tension over the Xmas period and in early February I told him I was done, and I was so happy with feeling strong in my decision.We’re still in the same house as we couldn’t find a rental and It’s been tense ever since. I’ve had no space to think. Lately he tells me that this time feels worse than the other time and he really truly understands now and promises nothing like that will ever happen again, I’m his world and he doesn’t want to lose me.He is a good husband, good provider, loyal.The thing is now I just feel numb and dead inside.He’s saying what I’ve always wanted and I feel like I don’t even care.I feel so closed off to him and I’m struggling to let my walls down and be vulnerable to him again in case it’s not real. To not help things he’s just started a new job which will give our family so much financial freedom and I want to be a part of it but I’ll be giving that up.Also since February, someone has indicated interest in me as a casual thing and I’m interested in exploring it. I haven’t done anything yet and won’t but the fact I’m thinking of it tells me maybe I am done?But I only see my husband in my future, I want everything he’s now offering to me, but why now when I have one foot out the door?I have so much resentment and anger towards him I’m not sure how to even get over it.I need to make a decision today as a rental has come up.

Luigi5000 Partner has checked out
  • replies: 3

Hi, I dont know how to help my partner. We are booked to get married in July and have been together for over 5 years. Lately she has completely shut down from our relationship. She spends all weekend every weekend in bed and rarely leaves the house f... View more

Hi, I dont know how to help my partner. We are booked to get married in July and have been together for over 5 years. Lately she has completely shut down from our relationship. She spends all weekend every weekend in bed and rarely leaves the house for anything other than work. I am really concerned about her as she doesnt eat, sleep or drink properly anymore. She spends most of her time on Instagram. She lets every little thing really effect her to the point it makes her shut down. Anything slightly stressful and she also completely shuts down. I cant imagine myself with anyone else and 100% want to get married to her and start a family with her, but with someone with their own anxiety issues who is seeing a psychologist it is often effecting my mental health.

Behere Overwhelmed
  • replies: 13

I have been married for 15 years and last year was forced into asking some difficult questions about my relationship. I have a teenage daughter who has a diagnosed eating disorder. This has made me examine my relationship and conclude that my wife is... View more

I have been married for 15 years and last year was forced into asking some difficult questions about my relationship. I have a teenage daughter who has a diagnosed eating disorder. This has made me examine my relationship and conclude that my wife is emotionally abusive I would use the term covert narcissist the difficulty with this is she would have to see a psychiatrist or psychologist to be diagnosed she does not believe she has any problems which is part of the disorder so as I understand it is almost impossible to get help.I can’t leave the marriage as I can’t leave my daughter, she is too ill and vulnerable.I could make a list of examples why I think this about my wife but the thing I realised recently is that I had been constantly looking for excuses for her behaviour suddenly when I stopped doing this i could see clearly the long history and patterns of abuse.I have been seeing a psychotherapist and that has been very helpful but I am still in the situation where I can’t walk away.I would be interested in anyone who has a similar lived experience and who has almost overnight realised the abuse they have been experiencing. How do you continue in the relationship with this knowledge with your eyes wide open to the damage and toxicity of the situation

Guest_68857425 Issues
  • replies: 1

Hi, I'm new here and still trying to find out how to work this website. I just wanted to talk about some issues in my family. Recently, CPS came to visit my family because of some large problems, which I won't go into since I get emotional thinking a... View more

Hi, I'm new here and still trying to find out how to work this website. I just wanted to talk about some issues in my family. Recently, CPS came to visit my family because of some large problems, which I won't go into since I get emotional thinking about it. I was the one who reported my parents for those problems, and our relationship has since been strained and tense. I've gotten into a couple of fights with my dad. I feel like he doesn't try to understand my feelings or my side of the story. Today, I just had a fight with my dad because of my volleyball comp tomorrow. I have an early game, so I tried to ask my dad if my brother could drive me since he already has his P license. I also told him that my games were going to run late to 8:20 pm. But he just told me to catch the train and bus. Mind you, that would take at least two hours to get to the venue and possible three hours to get all the way back home if I caught public transport. So, I obviously told him that it was more convenient for my brother to drive me, but he just wouldn't listen. I couldn't ask any of my teammates because they hate me. So, I'm left to take public transport tomorrow all alone to and from the venue.

Bunny82 Need Advice
  • replies: 2

I'm 43, my mother is 64 who was involved in a serious car accident 23 years ago. She was seriously injured and was in rehabilitation for 3 months. Fast forward to now, over the years her mental health and capacity has been declining, she blames me fo... View more

I'm 43, my mother is 64 who was involved in a serious car accident 23 years ago. She was seriously injured and was in rehabilitation for 3 months. Fast forward to now, over the years her mental health and capacity has been declining, she blames me for everything, critiques me for everything and anything, it's never her fault. I have no privacy, as I live with her and I'm her carer. She treats me like I'm her live in maid despite me working full time. She is capable to doing little things like doing her dishes, taking out rubbish, cleaning a little but leaves dishes in the sink to the point of piling up, she won't wipe down benches if she spills something or makes a mess, if she has to clean something she throws a tantrum. She leaves rubbish around or at the front door but never takes it to the outside bin. She literally does not do anything anymore except feeds the cats, goes to bed and smokes but calls me useless and lazy or gives me excuses and gets abusive and threatening when challenged. Shes never been this bad but I've seen the change over the years and it's getting much worse. I get blamed for the house looking like a pigsty and blames me for her being too embarrassed to have people over. When I confronted her one day, I cleaned the dishes, she came down, left dishes in the sink and walked away, I asked her why do you leave dishes in the sink and not wash them when she has seen I've just cleaned them all, her reply, so what. She never asks me how my day is, never asks how I am, never is compassionate when I'm sick and always makes it about her. If I get ready to go meet up with a friend for a coffee, she starts an argument that I'm too lazy to clean the house but that I go out with my friend, to put into context, I probably meet up with friends once or twice a month for a few hours. Now I've given up trying to keep friendships and relationships because it's nothing than arguments with her. I'm now to the point I have no friends and I haven't dated in 5 years. I have no family as they are overseas and I haven't seen my father in over 30 years. If I have to go out she wants to know where I'm always going, sometimes I just want to go for a walk but she makes it difficult for me. If I'm not home at a certain hour she will call me to see where I am, if I'm out for longer, she will call me. I finish work but I don't go home for a while, I go have a coffee or something to eat and get home rather late, she gets angry because I'm not there to clean up. When I was 34, I was at a work Christmas party, she knew where I was, it was 1.30am, she called my mobile screaming at me, saying do you know what time it is. I was in a maxi cab with my boss and co workers going home, everyone in the cab could hear her on the phone yelling, I was embarrassed and humiliated. I received my certificate from university, she opened my mail called me to congratulate me, that should have been me opening it, she ruined that for me. I really need advice on what to do.

As an organisation that supports people from across Australia, Beyond Blue acknowledges the Traditional Owners and Custodians of Country and their continuing connection to land, waters and community. We pay respect to Elders past and present.

First Nations Peoples are advised that this website may include reference to and images of deceased persons.

Beyond Blue is committed to safe inclusive spaces, policies and services for people of LGBTIQ+ communities and their families.

Helpful information

Stay in touch

Sign up below for regular emails from Beyond Blue, filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.

Stay in touch

Talk it through with us, we'll point you in the right direction.

Call 1300 224 636

24 hours / 7 days a week

Chat Online

24 hours / 7 days a week

Email us

Get a reply in 24 hours

Copyright � 2026 Beyond Blue Ltd

All rights reserved

Contact us Terms of use Privacy policy Site map