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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Guest_15286629 Help
  • replies: 1

Husband is heavy drinker and l can see him getting dementia as he keeps asking the same questions in a short time frame. He does not remember the next day. He knows how upset it makes me and how it is ruining our marriage but he is determined not to ... View more

Husband is heavy drinker and l can see him getting dementia as he keeps asking the same questions in a short time frame. He does not remember the next day. He knows how upset it makes me and how it is ruining our marriage but he is determined not to give up. When he doesn’t drink he is a nice but fairly miserable bloke. He has a broken damaged soul so just doesn’t care but it is tough on me. What can l do?

Guest_236 How to deal with anxiety around loyalty?
  • replies: 1

Hi there! It's been a long time since I've been on BBForums, and so much has changed; I hope everyone is doing well Context: I met my boyfriend in Asia where I was on a semester exchange and he is U.S military working there on a 3-year contract. When... View more

Hi there! It's been a long time since I've been on BBForums, and so much has changed; I hope everyone is doing well Context: I met my boyfriend in Asia where I was on a semester exchange and he is U.S military working there on a 3-year contract. When we met, we only had a month until I had to go back to Australia. We both fell very hard and fast, and while we initially intended to just enjoy the month we had, we couldn't seem to say goodbye, so after some serious consideration, we agreed to try long distance. So far so good! We've visited each other multiple times, he's met my family and I'll meet his in December. We text and call every day, do online date nights and check-ins, send each other letters and gifts, etc. However, I've recently been feeling anxiety about loyalty. Mainly because:1) It seems like everyone in the military cheat on their significant others, a stereotype he has confirmed. 2) Before me, he's had many casual/brief partners, which does not turn me off of HIM, but it does make me anxious that I won't be able to satisfy him or live up to his past experiences, especially from so far away. 3) He's very conventionally attractive, which makes me anxious about other's intentions and if he'd give in. This wasn't the case with my last relationship. I'm very aware that I have no reason to be anxious, he's proven to be nothing but unconditionally loving and loyal, and vehemently against cheating (he has the same anxieties about me, but he's always struggled with this in previous relationships). My point is that I've never experienced such feelings of anxiety, protectiveness and jealousy before; these feelings are so very new to me, I don't know what to do with them other than ignore or intellectualise them or seek his affirmation, which doesn't put the worries to rest forever. But I refuse to let my insecurities hold him back or drive him away. Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with these feelings? Maybe all I can do is manage them until they ease with time and trust...

S__ He has gone to jail
  • replies: 2

Hi after a very long 15 months he has gone to jail. It's been 2 weeks and I have good and bad days. When I was feeling good and thought I could do this the bank has said they are closing our account. Is this because he is in jail?

Hi after a very long 15 months he has gone to jail. It's been 2 weeks and I have good and bad days. When I was feeling good and thought I could do this the bank has said they are closing our account. Is this because he is in jail?

AndyL Starting Over…
  • replies: 1

So my mental health journey has hit a massive roadblock in the past 6 months, in short; my mother is now in an aged care dementia ward and will never get well, I lost my job and my wife of 23 years has split with me (although we are sharing the house... View more

So my mental health journey has hit a massive roadblock in the past 6 months, in short; my mother is now in an aged care dementia ward and will never get well, I lost my job and my wife of 23 years has split with me (although we are sharing the house with our kids amicably for now), and I recently had a breakdown where I checked myself into a private hospital for fear of suicidal tendencies.I am at a loss with what to do. I struggling to find work that will be both enjoyable, financially supportive and allow me to continue to be the best dad I can be. I am scared that I will fall into darkness again very soon.

Gj1 Ex Jehovah’s Witness ?
  • replies: 83

Hey guys my first post here To start off with I want to say that I was born and raised as a Jehovah’s Witness and left the faith when I was able to move and support myself. Leaving and coming out to normal society has been pretty tough tho. I just fe... View more

Hey guys my first post here To start off with I want to say that I was born and raised as a Jehovah’s Witness and left the faith when I was able to move and support myself. Leaving and coming out to normal society has been pretty tough tho. I just feel like there’s a really distinctive loneliness of being an ex Witness that a lot of people won’t ever understand. I’m wondering if there are any ex Jehovah’s Witnesses on these forums that have been able to sort of overcome those feelings and find happiness outside the organization. Could really use some good stories that it does get better because at the moment it feels like I’m seeing the world from behind glass

bkgs1202 Boyfriend with OCD pushing me away
  • replies: 5

I’m so lost I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years now, in the most beautiful, healthy, loving, supportive relationship. He suffers from OCD and about 2 months ago he stopped taking his meds and wasn’t seeing his... View more

I’m so lost I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1.5 years now, in the most beautiful, healthy, loving, supportive relationship. He suffers from OCD and about 2 months ago he stopped taking his meds and wasn’t seeing his therapist. He was pushing me away, saying we weren’t together anymore, but still messaging me and calling and wanting to be around me all the time and be intimate. When he was pushing me away, everything he was saying was textbook relationship OCD and harm OCD, scared of hurting me, how does he know I’m the one, etc. We spent 3 days no contact and he broke it to tell me what a huge mistake he had made and how much he loves me and sees our future together and wants to be with me. Then a few days later he said we were moving too fast again and he didn’t want to lose me but didn’t want to be in a committed relationship. That night he spiralled again and was quite manic and had some extremely dark thoughts. I didn’t know what to do so i called his parents and had to leave him as I felt me being there was making the situation worse and he kept saying he loves me and want to be with me but needs a 2 week break (common theme he had continued to bring up throughout). We didn’t speak for two weeks until he called and had seen his therapist. I thought it was all okay between us and we would just need time to take it slow to get back to where we were but now he’s saying he thought i broke up with him when i left two weeks ago, he’s been telling people we aren’t together anymore, and he needs to be alone to work on his mental health and he can’t be dating right now to work on himself. He started taking his meds again and now it’s been 6 weeks, but he was only just able to have an appointment with his therapist due to availability. I don’t know what to do. I want to be with him more than anything, and i would do anything to make it work. The same night he’s telling me he needs to be alone, he’s also acting somewhat normal with me, being romantic and talking about the future using “we” and “us” terms, but saying he can’t give me certainty that he’ll ever be able to be together but if he could click his fingers and flick a switch to be then he would. What do i do? I’m feeling so lost and confused and just heartbroken and awful.

JayCee28 Sons invasion of privacy by his father
  • replies: 3

Hi all, Long story but I’ll try get it relevant to date Ex H alcoholic and abusive to me. coercive/ emotional abuse to son Currently no access to teen child ( his father) aside from supervised visits in contact centre, no visits to date. son does not... View more

Hi all, Long story but I’ll try get it relevant to date Ex H alcoholic and abusive to me. coercive/ emotional abuse to son Currently no access to teen child ( his father) aside from supervised visits in contact centre, no visits to date. son does not want to see his father at all. Son is slowly expressing things he didn’t like while being “taken care of” by his father while I worked late shifts. child is saying he gets predatory feelings from his dad. This has all come about this morning I really am beginning to worry child’s father has been more than inappropriate with son while I wasn’t at home. Child has expressed he is uncomfortable telling the contact centre why he doesn’t want to see his dad. I have offered child that we can write down his feelings tonight and he can hand it to the support person at the contact centre and maybe they can discuss it and child’s feelings. My gut says there’s more to the child/ father relationship that was has come out, but I don’t want to push child for answers. I guess I’m after advice Thankyou

Scorp_77 Marraige Breakdown after 30 years together
  • replies: 1

Hi,I recently separated from my husband, 30 years together, 2 children, high school sweet hearts, I am heart broken.I do not even know where to start my healing process, I am sad, I am lonely.

Hi,I recently separated from my husband, 30 years together, 2 children, high school sweet hearts, I am heart broken.I do not even know where to start my healing process, I am sad, I am lonely.

CB23 Getting it out
  • replies: 1

The overwhelming sadness......We're done and my head know it's for the better but my heart hurts so bad. I randomly find myself crying my face off and the good lord knows I can't sleep much at this point. 13 years is gone so fast and my kids man they... View more

The overwhelming sadness......We're done and my head know it's for the better but my heart hurts so bad. I randomly find myself crying my face off and the good lord knows I can't sleep much at this point. 13 years is gone so fast and my kids man they're sad too. How do you deal with their sadness and your sadness and this overwhelming feeling? How long does that last? I've decided to try to focus on my mental heath and push myself forward but does this go away. He really was the one I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. I was so sure.....