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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Guest_96730108 Separation
  • replies: 2

Hi all it’s been 2 weeks since it’s come to my attention I have self sabotaged my 14 year marriage. My husband is a great guy it’s not his fault I pushed him away unintentionally through no intimacy he says we are more like friends. I don’t feel this... View more

Hi all it’s been 2 weeks since it’s come to my attention I have self sabotaged my 14 year marriage. My husband is a great guy it’s not his fault I pushed him away unintentionally through no intimacy he says we are more like friends. I don’t feel this way I am shattered it was my own doing in this marriage he says he’s numb and it’s like a stone wall. How did I get here.. what do I do now? We have a son together with special needs My husband says he’s not going to kick me out and he is actually wanting to teach me to be independent I know self care is important but I’m not eating or sleeping I’m throwing myself into work to distract me I have Dr appointment next Wednesday for blood results, I love him so much but I don’t want him miserable Don’t know what to do Sorry and thank you for reading

Guest_15188171 Giving up
  • replies: 2

We have been in a sexless marriage for at least the last 15 years, but I suspect longer. Have been married for over 35 years. Sex just stopped immediately when menopause hit. No explanation, no communication, just intamacy was off the agenda. So for ... View more

We have been in a sexless marriage for at least the last 15 years, but I suspect longer. Have been married for over 35 years. Sex just stopped immediately when menopause hit. No explanation, no communication, just intamacy was off the agenda. So for the last 15 years my sex life has been like this. No sex at all for 6 months and I try my hardest not to react and don't pressure her, but this amount of time seems to be my limit. I try and convince myself not to react but end up asking why there is no sex. She goes absolutely apeshit at me and then the next 2 days are unbaraeable. She then initiates make up sex and then no sex again for 6 months and so the cycle continues. I have begged and pleaded to know what is going on but she will not tell me. During this time she has told me that there is nothing wrong with a sexless marriage, that she never ever feels like sex and then this final recent comment which was the straw that broke the camel's back when she said there are things she could investigate to help regain her libido but she just can't be bothered. That’s when I gave up. This was only a few weeks ago. I was unbroken for 15 years but now I am a mess.I'll just add that in the bedroom I have been replaced by her phone which can keep her amused for hours. No hugs, no kiss goodbye night, nothingi might add that apart from sex things are great. We run together, attend a gym 6 days a week, go and see bands, go out for tea. I could go on.In desperation last week I arranged for us to see a therapist. I knew that I was pretty fragile but thought I had nothing to lose. The therapist listened, but went straight into recovery mode and suggested sheduled sex. No sure why, but I lost the plot completely and howled like a baby, had to leave the room and couldn't go back in. Probably a fault of mine but I haven't cried since I was a teenager so for me to break down was pretty serious. Since then things have been terrible. I cant exercise, hitting the beers and just eating junk. I have just given up. We have had a few discussions since, but my wife says she has done nothing wrong and that I have the problem. The ione pisitive is she finally told me why there is no sex and that's because if menopause , work pressure and kids. Shit, if she had just told me that once over the last 15 years I maybe could have helped.Trying not to be flippant, but its only sex, but this has just broken me. I am so unbelievably sad and at a total loss as to what to doI an not interested in separating and being truthful I am just resigned to a dead becroom and unhappiness. I have mates, many interests and a couple of great grandchildren who make me very happy. I just miss the closeness.Apologise if that was a bit of a rant but I needed to have somewhere to get it off my chest.

Dawnii Feeling overstimulated in class again :/
  • replies: 1

My immature classmates have been playing these extremely loud meme sounds, whilst making an extremely overstimulating environment.They won't stop no matter how many times the teacher tells them.My anxiety levels are at its peak and I have no idea wha... View more

My immature classmates have been playing these extremely loud meme sounds, whilst making an extremely overstimulating environment.They won't stop no matter how many times the teacher tells them.My anxiety levels are at its peak and I have no idea what to do!!Someone please give me some advice on how I can deal with my anxiety and my sensory needs.

Guest_51819445 Idk if my husband is having an affair
  • replies: 1

So here’s the story. He works overseas. Last year, may we had sex before he leaves for work again. Then he went back to our country again but never had sex then until now. So I’m just waiting for may this year so it’ll be official 1 year. Last time h... View more

So here’s the story. He works overseas. Last year, may we had sex before he leaves for work again. Then he went back to our country again but never had sex then until now. So I’m just waiting for may this year so it’ll be official 1 year. Last time he went home, he fetched us and come with him here in Australia. We’re living now on a hotel appartment. As I was cleaning the bedroom, i found a hair clamp under the bed. I asked him and said it was probably from the previous who rented the apartment. I felt the change on his behaviour ever since he worked here and he’s always on his phone. Most of the time I found him smirking in front of it. One time I approached him because I’m so curious about what he’s doing on his phone. And he immidiately dismisses me, trying his best to keep his phone away from me. Telling me stuffs, gaslighting me. I’ve been diagnosed with major depressive disorder 2 years ago and I’m on meds. Honestly my condition worsens because of our situation and now realizing that I have a weak support system. He mocks me about how he’s a good provider and make me feel like I’m useless because I don’t have a work. Well in fact, he’s the one who doesn’t want me to go to work before. And now that we’re here he’s forcing me to work. All these thoughts.. why he’s forcing me to work now? To bring his other woman in the apartment hotel? I told him about that and I felt like he’s manipulating me again. Why would he hide his phone to me knowing that I tend to overthink? Also the day before our anniversary? And after that he confess that he’s only looking at the flower’s website and he wants to surprise me so he doesn’t want me to see his phone. All of these I always think that he’s manipulating me. All these years that I’ve been battling with my condition. But the only thing that matters to him is how he’s making money and how good he is as a provider. Thinking that even my condition he doesn’t fully know. By the way I also have endometriosis. I’ve been diagnosed with that last year. It started from PCOS. All of these stress that I just kept inside of me. That my brother told me, I probably forgot how to feel normal. So for the the longest time being on survival mode because of my condition, I thought that it’s normal. I don’t know now what to do.

Witchy76 Husband issues
  • replies: 14

So I asked my husband to teach me to repot a pot plant, he showed me what to do but I tried and he was getting frustrated with me cos I was having trouble so I let him do it . Later on we made a 3d wooden puzzle together and I was trying to do someth... View more

So I asked my husband to teach me to repot a pot plant, he showed me what to do but I tried and he was getting frustrated with me cos I was having trouble so I let him do it . Later on we made a 3d wooden puzzle together and I was trying to do something and he’s getting annoyed cos I wasn’t passing it over, “your not listening “ etc so I walked away. we have had issues before because he prioritised friends over home life and he refuses to talk about it. Stone walls. So I threw my rings at him and told him I’m done etc then he calls me a psycho like his ex. He can be very rude in the way he speaks to me in general. He drinks a lot of wine and smokes pot 24/7. If we go past a cyclist he doesn’t do the one metre rule he does the 30cm rule. U can see the cyclist raising his fists and yelling out etc haven’t been married a year yet and I’m thinking I made the wrong decision to marry him to be honest. Don’t know what to do. Seems to blame everyone else for everything

Nik_Nakz Historical Child Sexual Abuse & Family Court Proceedings
  • replies: 3

I’m currently in the middle of Family Court proceedings about the care of my two children, who are 11 and 9. I was their sole and primary carer for years after leaving their father in 2018. Over time, the pressure of single parenting, work stress, an... View more

I’m currently in the middle of Family Court proceedings about the care of my two children, who are 11 and 9. I was their sole and primary carer for years after leaving their father in 2018. Over time, the pressure of single parenting, work stress, and a long history of domestic violence took a toll on my mental health. In early 2024, I reached a point where I knew I wasn’t coping. My mental health was deteriorating, and I wanted to keep my children safe from a man I had been involved with who was emotionally abusive and connected to drugs. As a protective step, I asked their father to care for them temporarily while I got help. After that man was arrested later in 2024, I cut ties completely and started addressing my mental health and substance use. The kids briefly returned to me, but their father then moved them to a school far away, which made it impossible for me to get them there without transport. Not long after, he began withholding them. Around this time, I also reported the inappropriate relationship he and I had when I was a minor. That process is still ongoing, but it feels like it has stalled, even though the evidence is there.The last time I saw my children was in May 2025. Since then, the Court has focused heavily on my past mental health struggles, the domestic violence I experienced, and my history of substance use. Even though I’ve been actively working on my mental health for two years, I feel like the context — the trauma, the abuse, the reasons behind everything — is being ignored. What hurts the most is feeling like the system is allowing someone who harmed me to use the legal process and my children as a way to continue that harm. I’m doing everything I can to heal, to be stable, and to be the mother my kids know and love. But it feels like the more I try to speak up about the abuse, the less I’m heard. I guess I’m asking… why does it feel like victims are punished for the trauma they’re trying to recover from? And how do you keep going when the system that’s supposed to protect you seems to be working against you?

Gypsy_Mama Betrayal
  • replies: 2

My husband and I have been together for 14 years married 10 with 2 kids. Over our time together we have had many up’s and downs which I know is normal. When we met I made it very clear on my boundaries towards pornography, strip clubs, topless waitre... View more

My husband and I have been together for 14 years married 10 with 2 kids. Over our time together we have had many up’s and downs which I know is normal. When we met I made it very clear on my boundaries towards pornography, strip clubs, topless waitresses and anything that falls under that umbrella. Over the years we have had the bucks party arrive and yes lied to about what went on, he’s attended other bucks parties and taken himself into strip clubs out of feeling peer pressured. The most recent 1 year ago was me discovering he watched porn and then when I confronted him he denied it to very quickly admit yes he did. I can’t explain the gut wrenching feeling that came over me where i feel vomit rise up and I wanted to run and not stop running. I was lied to and betrayed..again. One year on and I chose to stay and work through this. He knows it wasn’t ok and he knows how badly it’s destroyed all my trust. He has attended a few counselling sessions but I feel like I’ve had to “nag” him. He was asked by councillor to write in a book again he’s not consistent. When I bring it up he gets very emotional and tells me how ashamed I am then I feel bad for him. I shouldn’t have to beg him to be consistent and show me that he wants to make our marriage work. He assured me he would do whatever it took and he wanted to change his ways as he isn’t happy with himself. It’s really exhausting and I know he loves me but he just wants to stick his head in the sand and forget any of this happened. Because none of the previous times were ever resolved and I was told to “get over it” and “are you still on about that?” I never fully healed. This time it needs to be done right. I can’t heal from something I didn’t do because I feel bad about making his emotions cripple him. Mix in kids and it’s very hard to discuss anything really. I came from a broken home and it’s something I never want. I love him so much and I know inside there’s an incredible man, the man he was when I fell in love with him. I’ve never forgiven anyone before for betrayal, I know it won’t be easy but I need to know he’s going to make the effort.

Behere Narcissistic wife
  • replies: 17

I have posted under the title overwhelmed but I really want to write about Narcissism because I think it might be helpful to anyone else who feels they are locked in a narcissistic relationship and it will help me clarify my thoughts Firstly I am awa... View more

I have posted under the title overwhelmed but I really want to write about Narcissism because I think it might be helpful to anyone else who feels they are locked in a narcissistic relationship and it will help me clarify my thoughts Firstly I am aware of the criticism around the word Narcissism to me the word is a shorthand for describing a group of behaviours that I believe my wife expresses I am not a professional I just wish to share my lived experience.I will describe some of her behaviour There are events that really stand out in my mind as particularly cruel and demonstrate a lack of any ability to express empathy and then there are the everyday interactions that often seem too trivial to mention but these follow a pattern and are just as destructive possibly more destructive because they are easier to excuse or blame yourself for, they fly under the radar.These examples may seem vindictive and you may think I am getting back at my wife in some way I want to say that non of these events have come out of for example infidelity or massive arguments this is the background noise if you like of our relationship.One of many examples i could list is fairly recently i came out of hospital after a abdominal operation my wife had to pick me up because of the anaesthetic we drove straights from the hospital to the school There are two routes to the school one down a road with about eight speed humps I asked my wife if she could take the other route she ignored me and ignored the obvious pain I was in every time we drove over the speed hump we picked my daughter up and then despite me telling her how much pain I was in drove back the same way. Our relationship is punctuated with events like this that express a complete lack of empathy care and compassion for another human being The everyday events are more like finding out what is important to you what are your core beliefs and then going about trying to undermine them for example if you value truth and openness in a relationship to portray you as a lier My wife knows I like deserts so now if I ever refuse a desert when offered it is proof that I am a lier and nothing I say can be trusted. I have always had pets in my life and would never be cruel to any animal at Christmas the cat was about to climb into the Christmas trees so I grabbed it and pulled it out from behind the tree my wife said do not hit the cat you have a really cruel streak in you. The examples are endless Thanks beherei will continue the post

MissC Spiralling I Just Want to Be Me Again!
  • replies: 3

I am not sure where to begin I have been having serious issues with my mental health for over a year now and it is starting to affect my day to day life, sleep cycle and family dynamic. I feel I am a catastrophic thinker and see the worst in every si... View more

I am not sure where to begin I have been having serious issues with my mental health for over a year now and it is starting to affect my day to day life, sleep cycle and family dynamic. I feel I am a catastrophic thinker and see the worst in every situation. I can't be happy, I don't look forward to anything, I am petrified I am going to lose my family. I have no friends because I was deemed too difficult to be around. I am not socially outgoing either. I panic at the slightest disagreement or bad situation I automatically think the worst case scenario. I have major issues with my eldest son and his partner she verbally and phyically abuses him in front of me but in fear of losing my son I stay quiet. I have tried to discuss this with my son but he shuts me down, he is smitten with this person and has said he can't live without her. My son moved out recently to live with his partner and they are both struggling financially. They come to visit and it makes me feel uncomfortable and I feel I am walking on eggshells around them and am starting to dread every time they want to come stay over. My husband is at his wits end with me all I do is obsess over my son and his wellbeing not a day goes by where I am not mentioning my sons situation. I know what the right thing to do is I just can't train my brain to stop overthinking and spiralling. I am scared I am about to lose everything. Please help me!

Family2026 Family & the guilt of breaking it
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, im at a loss of what to do, I feel like i need & want to end my nearly 10 year relationship / 3 year marriage, we have more than 1 child. My fear is that I will be in a foreign country that I can not currently work due to my children’s h... View more

Hi everyone, im at a loss of what to do, I feel like i need & want to end my nearly 10 year relationship / 3 year marriage, we have more than 1 child. My fear is that I will be in a foreign country that I can not currently work due to my children’s health & I can not get any government assistance. My family support is all in another country I want to move back to but I don’t think my husband will let our children leave with me. I feel out of options staying is effecting my mental health and my children’s as well but they love their dad & would hate for us to break up but I feel physically and emotionally drained. Is there any advice on how to go about this situation? I feel when the time comes and I mention separation & moving he is going to become very difficult to come to understanding my reasonings and I am not in the position to obtain a lawyer. has one one else gone through anything like this?

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