Serial cheating/commitment/self love

[Lostdad]

Have been found out for cheating esp with other men. Last straw has have been found out before.

did addiction counselling and psychology etc but nothing worked permanently. Have been married to wife for 30 years and never wanted to marry anyone else. Adore my late teen and early twenties daughter and am scared of losing them forever as I move out tomorrow. I don’t know how long for. Til I sort my self loathing, cheating, not caring for myself (massively overweight and heart and other health issues I don’t commit to solving properly.

i don’t need to be told im a monster or lazy etc I know that. Any advice on how to turn myself around in my mid 50s when I have no job

[quirkywords]

Guest

I realise your strength and honesty in telling your story here. You have insight into your self loathing. 
i have In the past done self sabotaging behaviour that caused havoc in my relationships.

Can you relate to wanting to self sabotage your marriage.

Do you have any ideas of why addiction counseling did not work permanently.? 
Thanks for reaching out. 

[Lostdad]

Feel I was never taught how to do commitment and love and also a bit of not wanting to face myself and let my wife know my flaws fully. 

I am receiving good support and trying to look at how I can change and also change the demand of others for respect and kindness that I can make. Also realise I need self love to come from inside me