Relationship and family issues

18(m)first relationship breakup story, i need advice

replies: 4

Yesterday, My girlfriend of 3 months(seeing each other for 4 and a half month) broke up with me. I know it sounds minimal but i can’t comprehend the feelings im going through. in our whole duration we never had any arguments or disagreements, we were... View more

Yesterday, My girlfriend of 3 months(seeing each other for 4 and a half month) broke up with me. I know it sounds minimal but i can’t comprehend the feelings im going through. in our whole duration we never had any arguments or disagreements, we were healthy loving and purely just happy. She ended it with me yesterday randomly at night when she changed our saturday plans from dinner to just a walk but i knew something was wrong and i asked to call. I was out for dinner with the family and she said that she was reviewing if she wanted a relationship, she was overwhelmed about term 3 at skl and work and potentially missing out on stuff with friends. I felt terrible so bad i started crying in the middle of the road, i asked why she wouldn’t want to sort this out with me on text but she said she made her mind up, i have no resentment only confusion and sadness at the moment, she said i was too dependent on her and my emotions swayed when she was sad i was sad and if she was stressed i became stressed. All i wanted to do was help her out of it, make her feel better and then i would as a result. I understood that it was a huge weight for her to bare and I was seeking advice from friends on changing it. She said she felt like it was unfair on me that i put so much effort into the relationship and she didn’t do as much and then what broke me was she said she didn’t think love me as much as i loved her. i also didn’t have a great balance in the term 2 and realised i relied on her for emotional connection a lot. She said seeing each other once a week was “a lot” and everything went so quick in 3 months. The start was great, got off like a house on fire after we met at an 18th. We had things in common and a genuine liking to each other. I planned everything and just an absolute shock to the system when she said it to me. We had her brothers 21st 4 days ago and i thought she was avoiding me a lot and not talking to which i was just looking into it too much but i brought it up with her anyway, in the end it was me apologising because i saw that there was nothing wrong with it but she then said she cried the next morning( our 3 months) because she wanted to just think things over, we talked about it briefly and then she was fine for 3 days and then was quite cold to me on the phone when we broke up, she didn’t sound emotional and ik everyone takes it differently but still that hurt too because i do know she loved and cared about me a lot. We had one sleepover at my holiday house exactly two weeks ago and we got intimate which was so wholesome and such a growth in our relationship. I love cuddling her, kissing her and just her smell and i’m never going to be able to talk to her lovely family again. I feel like shit at the moment and hopefully someone can provide some insight or advice, i understand from reading some of these posts that it’s so minimal but i really would like to see someone’s perspective. We ended on good terms and i wished her well for the rest of the year 12 while battling tears and hung up. she hasn’t removed or unfollowed me on everything yet and i am clinging to hope but like my best friend said, i can’t do that. about to go into the most important term of my life and i lose what i would call my world.

I'm afraid to be in a relationship again.

replies: 1

I just ended a relationship that lasted seven years. I'm in my thirties now, and I can't help but feel jaded.I've had three long-term relationships, and I think my biggest mistake has been staying in them for too long. At the time, I genuinely believ... View more

I just ended a relationship that lasted seven years. I'm in my thirties now, and I can't help but feel jaded.I've had three long-term relationships, and I think my biggest mistake has been staying in them for too long. At the time, I genuinely believed each person was the one I'd end up marrying. I thought we could work through any problems, as long as they didn't involve cheating, domestic violence, or addiction. So, unsurprisingly, I stayed in my most recent relationship for a little over six years. I felt secure, like we were a team, and he always said he wanted to get married for the first three years. But the longer we were together, the less likely it seemed that he was ever going to propose. Our relationship started deteriorating. We broke up once and got back together, but I made it clear that if he ever said he wanted to break up again, I wouldn't come back. He agreed. A few months ago, we had a fight over something stupid, and that was it. What started as a week-long argument turned into two weeks, and then he said he couldn't see us getting married unless we moved in together. He didn't want to move out unless we bought a house, but anything we could realistically afford would have been too far from work. I suggested we rent but he shut that down very fast. He started throwing out ultimatums and bringing up everything I'd ever done wrong in the relationship. His tone seemed completely defeated, and I couldn't keep fighting anymore. The things I did wrong were mostly immature attempts to get a reaction from him. I'd say things I didn't mean just to see if he still loved me. I know that wasn't healthy, and I regret it, but at the time I didn't know how else to feel secure. He never wanted to go on dates unless it was something he enjoyed or his friends were going too. He rarely wanted to do anything I liked, and he only wanted to go out after lunch because he preferred sleeping in. Everytime we had a fight he would start with "I don't know if I can marry someone who does (whatever topic we're fighting about)" He did have his good moments, he'd buy me meds when I'm sick and celebrate my birthday with a small gathering he'd organise. He would also get me flowers for every special occasion and pay for most meals when we go out. We even went ring shopping at one stage, although it didn't go anywhere. Our relationship only fumbled and he eventually told me I was close to what he wants but I'm not the one. It really felt like he wanted to break up but he doesn't want to be the one who said it. So I ended it. A few days after I got incredibly sick and he messaged me to ask if I think breaking up was a mistake. I stayed silent, I couldn't think straight because I've been in bed for days. He did retract his question and we agreed to stop all contact. I'm in my thirties now, I can't shake the feeling that I've wasted my mid-to-late twenties, and now I'll never find anyone else I'll love as much. Most men my age seem to be married already, and I honestly don't think I could be with another man who's got the "potential" in becoming someone great. I know I have a lot of things I need to work on too. I just can't help feeling incredibly jaded and heartbroken right now.

Well, here goes nothing!!

replies: 6

G,day guys, well, Ive been reading a few posts left by some lovely people who seem to be fighting the good fight (good on you all guys/keep being strong :0) in truth, mine really doesn't seem to weigh up all that much. Im 48years old & Ive found myse... View more

G,day guys, well, Ive been reading a few posts left by some lovely people who seem to be fighting the good fight (good on you all guys/keep being strong :0) in truth, mine really doesn't seem to weigh up all that much. Im 48years old & Ive found myself in a place where Ive got zero friends apart from family & my beloved dogs. Much the same as many other people, Ive got my own personal struggles as we all do, but mainly I was just on here seeing if there were many if any others of my age group rowing in similar friendless canoes? Its not like I won't survive, I will, & largely I actually chose this almost reclusive existence, however I guess full disclosure, I was wondering how many of us from the old days lol were actually out there in this or similar positions? Anyway, to anyone who reads this, if you are struggling, & are down on the bottom rung, just remember that you are strong & that YOU CAN DO IT!!!! Also if you are my age & just want a friend to talk to please feel able to reach out for a chat. I spend a lot of time alone but none of us are islands no matter how much we all like to think we can be.

Un appreciated husband.

replies: 2

Hello,this is all very new to me. Tbh I don’t even know how to start talking about how I feel.all I know is that i feel terribly alone in my life, which is crazy to say because i am a father of two young children and have a wife we’ve been together s... View more

Hello,this is all very new to me. Tbh I don’t even know how to start talking about how I feel.all I know is that i feel terribly alone in my life, which is crazy to say because i am a father of two young children and have a wife we’ve been together since we were teenagers. but i feel completely un appreciated.i have all these expectations of me as a father and provider which I have done and continue to do, I am present in my kids lives at all the sports spend all weekends with them and after work each night, I run a construction business, I’m present at home, dishes, make beds, lawns, cooking probably half the meals (I actually enjoy cooking a lot), but I don’t get what I need from my family. No one ever asks how I’m doing, my wife never asks me how my day was. Literally the first words that come out of my mouth when I get home are how are you how was your day. I’m genuinely interested, because I look forward to seeing my family after my day because my life is pretty stressful to say the least.but it seems my wife couldn’t care less about how I feel or what I have to go through in order to provide the luxuries she has and experience. she drive a a Mercedes Benz, a jeep grand Cherokee before that, and Toyota rav 4 before that! All purchased for her. I bought our house. I renovated it. I paid for the renovations, I worked my ass off to pay and complete the renovations after work and on weekends in my spare time (which there is f all of) i asked her for help many times during the renovation. Even simply holding the wheel barrow for me while i mixed concrete or help me mix some glue for the crazy pavers, you think I got any.We went to Europe for a 5 week holiday as a family. She wouldn’t even know or care how much that cost me, or the stress of paying for it, as long as she got the insta pics.Our life is filled with blatant double standards, she could yell and scream and talk horribly to all of us and be disrespectful to me in front of the kids or just in general, but you dish it back at her?, now I’m the worst guy in the world. How dare I speak that way to her. nowadays I feel a-lot of anger and resentment towards her. And it’s eating me alive. I don’t want to break up my family, but she is destroying this marriage and doesn’t seem to give a rats about my issues. I’ve lost count the amount of times I’ve tried to have a genuine discussion about this with her , but she can never see anyone’s side but her own, and she’s always the victim. I don’t know what to do. and I think I’m depressed.

Heavy anxiety and depressed work place related

replies: 1

Hi everyone , i hope everyone is okay its my first time here . Been feeling lower then usual and been really stressed at work. Finding it hard to sleep n this goes on like 3 to 4 nights in a row . Mainly becuase of work. Been working at this place fo... View more

Hi everyone , i hope everyone is okay its my first time here . Been feeling lower then usual and been really stressed at work. Finding it hard to sleep n this goes on like 3 to 4 nights in a row . Mainly becuase of work. Been working at this place for almsot 3 years . From the beginning was not easy for me. Finding it reallh hard to get along with people . I felt like i have tried and often i feel very left out , and anything concerning or how i feel often get looked away , i dunno what to do ..

Feeling like an insignificant wife

replies: 2

Today was typical of how my husband reacts when we clash on something. I want to talk about it. He walks out. Refuses to answer my calls. When he comes back like 5 hrs later and I confront him. HE Says..."I didnt want to talk to you. By walking away ... View more

Today was typical of how my husband reacts when we clash on something. I want to talk about it. He walks out. Refuses to answer my calls. When he comes back like 5 hrs later and I confront him. HE Says..."I didnt want to talk to you. By walking away I felt better" I said well Im glad it did. Cos it nade me feel worse. Since then he has come out to me once and stated how he felt. Not interested in how I feel. Not interested in talking about ir. Just about him. Then came out and said you okay? I quietly said yep....looked up and he was already gone. Im sitting on my own. Im exhausted. Im tired. Im over it all. Im over life in general. Life isnt meant to be this hard? I look up...and think...yep...I can see why some end it in that moment

Wife had a affair

replies: 3

My wife has had an affair with someone from her work and I have just found out yesterday. I am gutted we just bought a house together, she say she still loves me and wants to be with me and I think I still love her but how will I ever trust her again... View more

My wife has had an affair with someone from her work and I have just found out yesterday. I am gutted we just bought a house together, she say she still loves me and wants to be with me and I think I still love her but how will I ever trust her again how do I know she won’t do it again. We have 2 beautiful kids together should I just forgive her so my kids don’t have a broken family. I am so lost right now and don’t no how to function.

Wife had an affair but I still love her

replies: 14

Hey guys, Just wanted to see if anyone has experienced infidelity during their marriage and decide to stay with their wife. I caught my wife cheating six weeks ago and I still love her but I'm struggling to move forward as I still have images in my h... View more

Hey guys, Just wanted to see if anyone has experienced infidelity during their marriage and decide to stay with their wife. I caught my wife cheating six weeks ago and I still love her but I'm struggling to move forward as I still have images in my head of her and her lover. She developed an emotional and physical connection with him and it destroys me just thinking about it. She admitted that she loved him and that he was her best friend. But she also questioned herself if she knows the meaning of love. We've been married for nine years and have two kids. She has ended her affair and has committed to work on our marriage. She says she loves me more than ever and is being very affectionate and loving towards me. One day I feel ok, the next I feel depressed. I'm seeing counseling and it's helping a bit but I feel like I need to talk to someone who's experienced this to help me get through it. How do I stop these toxic images and thoughts and get back to normality? Or am I being dishonest to myself and making myself suffer depression? Any help is much appreciated.

Overthinker scared of ruining relationship.

replies: 1

I have recurring relationship anxiety. I repeatedly seek reassurance from my partner about things like emojis, messages, and signs of affection. The reassurance only lasts an hour or two before the doubts come back. I want help breaking that cycle

Sexless Marriage

replies: 6

I don’t know how to start this. Never posted before and after reading a few conversations similar to my situation I’m thinking, maybe it’s not so bad… or is it more… I don’t want it to get that bad. my husband and I have been married for 10 years and... View more

I don’t know how to start this. Never posted before and after reading a few conversations similar to my situation I’m thinking, maybe it’s not so bad… or is it more… I don’t want it to get that bad. my husband and I have been married for 10 years and we’re only in our mid 30’s. Early on in our relationship I felt a little rejected because my husband had a lower libido and only wanted sex once or twice a week. I had never experienced this and always wanted more but I adjusted my expectations because I loved him. slowly but surely it became once or twice a fortnight, then once or twice a month. More recently, he struggled with keeping an erection up. So it became once every few months. we sought help from a marriage therapist and she sort of helped but he didn’t want to go after 3 sessions. things got slightly better but only for a short period of time. He knows how I feel and I’ve made it clear more than enough times to count. the reason I’m here is because this week just gone I once again made it clear I wanted sex and kind of teased around over a couple of days. Last night at the end of our alternating work week we finally had some time together but he got short and grumpy with our little one, huffed and puffed moping around (which is an instant turn off for me) and then said he has a sore stomach. I went to bed early and he acted shocked as to why. I cried for hours on and off throughout the night. I feel so rejected. I’ve lost weight for him. I’ve been training at the gym for a year and improved by figure. I wear lingerie for him and still nothing feels like it’s enough. I don’t know if I want my life to be like this. I envisioned my life to be filled with laughter, fun and wild sex. Maybe I shouldn’t have lowered my expectations early on. Maybe if we weren’t compatible there it never should have happened. It’s just so hard when you fall in love. I don’t know what I’m asking here. I think I just needed to vent.

Pinned discussions

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

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All discussions

18(m)first relationship breakup story, i need advice

replies: 4

I'm afraid to be in a relationship again.

replies: 1

Well, here goes nothing!!

replies: 6

Un appreciated husband.

replies: 2

Heavy anxiety and depressed work place related

replies: 1

Feeling like an insignificant wife

replies: 2

Wife had a affair

replies: 3

Wife had an affair but I still love her

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Overthinker scared of ruining relationship.

replies: 1

Sexless Marriage

replies: 6

Relationship and family issues

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about replies: 0

18(m)first relationship breakup story, i need advice replies: 4

I'm afraid to be in a relationship again. replies: 1

Well, here goes nothing!! replies: 6

Un appreciated husband. replies: 2

Heavy anxiety and depressed work place related replies: 1

Feeling like an insignificant wife replies: 2

Wife had a affair replies: 3

Wife had an affair but I still love her replies: 14

Overthinker scared of ruining relationship. replies: 1

Sexless Marriage replies: 6

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

18(m)first relationship breakup story, i need advice

replies: 4

I'm afraid to be in a relationship again.

replies: 1

Well, here goes nothing!!

replies: 6

Un appreciated husband.

replies: 2

Heavy anxiety and depressed work place related

replies: 1

Feeling like an insignificant wife

replies: 2

Wife had a affair

replies: 3

Wife had an affair but I still love her

replies: 14

Overthinker scared of ruining relationship.

replies: 1

Sexless Marriage

replies: 6