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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Guest_10295 Husband has bad communication/alcohol/family
  • replies: 1

Hello, My marriage of 20 years is in trouble. We have a family that loves each other deeply. However, I am questioning my husband for the last few years. His relationship with alcohol is interferring with our family life and marriage. He doesn't drin... View more

Hello, My marriage of 20 years is in trouble. We have a family that loves each other deeply. However, I am questioning my husband for the last few years. His relationship with alcohol is interferring with our family life and marriage. He doesn't drink often, however when he does it has been quite traumatic for me due to no communication, drinking to forget problem or stresses and verbal disputes when he comes home. Randomly, after work, he seems to disappear without any communication or if he does answer the call its short filled with a lie. He says he's coming home, only to find out he stopped somewhere else. Doesn't want to share where he is and protective of people names, only to find out he was alone. I have lost all trust and also respect for my partner. I am disappointed. He has never behaved like this before, he is a wonderful family man that works so hard for us. He is unsure of why he cant communicate properly (throws narasistic liners or brings up things that we doesnt agree on to hurt me for a reaction- very hurtful and I have caught onto this behaviour and I haven't helped in this area but a very loving supportive wife). He admitted he makes impulsive decisions. He also has a bank account that he does not want to show me, after been caught gambling. I just don't know how to move forward and if i want to be around someone like this.

Anon37 Urgent Help Needed
  • replies: 2

My wife has very severe mental health issues. She refuses to get any help both individually and as a couple. Frequently and will just shout, scream, swear at me, insult me excessively. Today she has spent over three hours abusing and torturing me bec... View more

My wife has very severe mental health issues. She refuses to get any help both individually and as a couple. Frequently and will just shout, scream, swear at me, insult me excessively. Today she has spent over three hours abusing and torturing me because I couldn’t get the milk she wanted because they didn’t not have it at the supermarket. I have since gone to another grocery store and found it for her. However, she won’t stop abusing me over IM. She abuses me verbally, financially and in some very extreme cases even physically. Usually I just lock myself up in my wardrobe on weekends and find myself shaking and crying. I still lock myself in my wardrobe to protect myself but I have stopped crying and shaking which does show I am making progress. It’s honestly incredibly difficult. She is excessively ungrateful and selfish. Often she blasts loud music in the apartment without even listening to headphones to initially distract me because she knows my ears are sensitive to noise and other times she will shine light in my eyes from her phone so I cannot sleep. She always insists that I have to pay for everything for both of us which I am fine to do. But when I didn’t have a job I asked her for a very small $150 for excess baggage for both of us - just if I could take it out of the wedding gift money and she still said no. The level of excessive selfishness, lack of gratitude and non stop complaining, criticism, shouting, screaming and swearing at me is all too much for me to cope with. I am right on the verge of divorcing her but wanted to give one final call for help. Thank you in advance for your support during this truly awful time.

Heart Always sad
  • replies: 3

My husband and I have been married 22 years, it's my second marriage and his third.He is 71 and I'm 58.Back in 2022 while my brother was dying my husband had an emotional affair at work, giving emotional support and affection to a co worker going thr... View more

My husband and I have been married 22 years, it's my second marriage and his third.He is 71 and I'm 58.Back in 2022 while my brother was dying my husband had an emotional affair at work, giving emotional support and affection to a co worker going through a divorce, he gave me no support at all and was emotionally absent.He has denied everything but mutual friends who worked with them told me the end of 2023 when I noticed love heart symbols on all his personal photos from this woman, I hadn't seen them before as he had unfriended me on FB.There had been secret coffee dates which he lied about as well.I did confront him about it and he said he wasn't involved with her.I asked him to delete all forms of contact from her which he said he did but he actually hadn't.To my knowledge there has been no contact since.Fast forward to now, we sold our house and moved states, I had hoped for a fresh start but nothing has changed, there is no affection, intimacy and little communication, he sits on his phone all day unless he takes the dogs for a walk or goes to the gym, I've tried to express to him that I'm sad all the time, I've become moody and resentful and feel neglected, my heart breaks every day.He constantly looks for validation from other woman, following their Instagram pages or sending cute GIF to woman he knows, and thinking nothing of it but I'm never the one on the receiving end.He says I'm just being jealous and turns it all around to me.But my main concern is the lack of anything from him in our marriage.Talking does nothing, he said his not going to change.He was my sole mate but his changed so much.I'm at a loss as to what to do.

Melisma Husband's ex is lying and hurting my family
  • replies: 1

My husband and I have been together for 6 years. I have 2 kids from before, he has a daughter from before, and we have a son together. He was with his last partner for 8 years. She has a few different mental health issues, and these have caused us so... View more

My husband and I have been together for 6 years. I have 2 kids from before, he has a daughter from before, and we have a son together. He was with his last partner for 8 years. She has a few different mental health issues, and these have caused us some serious issues. They are in family court battling for custody of their daughter. My step daughter and I have a great relationship, which seems to make her mother (the ex) extremely jealous, to the point that she has been threatening to make false allegations of physical abuse of her daughter against me. This is after threatening to tell the police that my husband Sexually Assaulted her (he didnt). I am almost constantly on edge worrying that she is going to follow through on her threats, and feel anxious due to lies she tries to tell her daughter about us. She has lied in court paperwork, and im fearful that she has lied to our friends as well. I dont feel like we can trust anyone, and feel like we are constantly under the microscope. All the stress has made me a reactive mother to all the kids, and I hate that they are having to experience it. I feel so overwhelmed and lost.

RA2012 Feeling alone and betrayed
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone,I’m new here. I’m almost a single mum and my partner transitioned and moved away to another city. Since then, they’ve become distant and it feels like they’ve erased every good thing we ever had together. On top of that, I discovered dish... View more

Hi everyone,I’m new here. I’m almost a single mum and my partner transitioned and moved away to another city. Since then, they’ve become distant and it feels like they’ve erased every good thing we ever had together. On top of that, I discovered dishonesty in the relationship which has left me feeling shattered and betrayed. The pain feels overwhelming. It’s like everything we built has been rewritten as if it never mattered, and I’m left alone with all the memories. They don’t let me talk about past and call me and every memory toxic. I don’t really have close friends or family I can talk to, and I feel so heavy carrying this by myself. Chat GPT has only been my confidant but there is no human connection. I just want to find a safe place to share and maybe connect with people who understand what betrayal and abandonment feel like. Right now, I feel incredibly alone and I wish this ache in my chest would ease. Thank you for listening.

Guest_50622148 I feel torn between what is right and what feels right. Please help.
  • replies: 2

This is something I’ve carried quietly for years. Maybe I’m seeking clarity, or maybe I just want to feel understood. I feel lost—torn between what’s right and what feels right.I got married in 2016 at 24, to a man I believed was 30. Later, I found o... View more

This is something I’ve carried quietly for years. Maybe I’m seeking clarity, or maybe I just want to feel understood. I feel lost—torn between what’s right and what feels right.I got married in 2016 at 24, to a man I believed was 30. Later, I found out he was 32. A small lie, but it planted seeds of doubt. It was a love marriage, one I fought for against my family. I believed love would be enough.He was caring—sometimes too much. Back then, I mistook his control for affection. Over time, I realized I was shrinking. But I never shared my struggles. I stayed silent, thinking I could fix it alone.Two years later, I reconnected with a friend—let’s call him A—someone I’d known before marriage. It started innocently. But soon, every conversation with him made me feel alive again. Seen. Heard. We never crossed physical lines, but emotionally, something deep rooted itself between us.A got married in 2019 and moved to Australia in 2022. I had my daughter in 2020 and later moved to the US. Despite distance, we stayed in touch. He became my emotional anchor, though we never defined it.Now in 2025, I’m in Australia too. It’s been five months and we haven’t met, but the desire is strong. Still, life is messy. We both carry responsibilities and questions we can't answer.My marriage has deteriorated. My husband gaslights, avoids accountability, and doesn’t engage emotionally. I’ve seen messages with another woman—he denies them. He struggles with anxiety but won’t seek real help. His family’s financial burden consumes him, and I feel invisible.Meanwhile, I’m raising our daughter, holding everything together while feeling completely undone inside. I want to be strong for her. But this emotional storm is spilling into every part of my life.Some days, I want to walk away. Other days, I feel paralyzed by fear. Is it love… or just habit and shared trauma? Is my bond with A real—or just escape?I know I need help. I know I need to talk to someone. But right now, I just needed to let it out. Not for judgment. Just to feel human again.

Loveanimals 20 Year Old Son Addicted to Marijuana and Ruining My Life
  • replies: 4

My son is addicted to marijuana. I know....what a great parent I am for even letting him use it :(. I allowed him to use it at home as I did not want him out with random people getting into trouble. Initially he was part of a bad group and I did not ... View more

My son is addicted to marijuana. I know....what a great parent I am for even letting him use it :(. I allowed him to use it at home as I did not want him out with random people getting into trouble. Initially he was part of a bad group and I did not want him associating with them.He is now addicted to it and the stuff he is buying is not good and he is really suffering. He has always suffered from insomnia and anxiety. I have done everything I can to try to help him. At the end of the day he is an adult now and he has to learn to take responsibility for himself. He has an appointment tomorrow with the Dr to discuss his issues. I hope so much something can be done to make him feel better about himself. I must say though that I am totally over it all. I have made numerous Dr appointments over the last two years....that he declines to attend . I have offered him Gym membership to get him out there doing something good for himself . Again...declined. I am actually really angry as he does nothing to help himself? I work and have a lot of responsiblity around the house and assisting my elderly father. My son does NOTHING to help around the house. He is totally selfish. He has not got his licence yet although I paid for lessons and have taken him out in my car to get his hours up. He makes every excuse under the Sun to be lazy and entitled. I hate being mean but I fear this is emotional blackmail. He is unhappy with himself but can't get that he is responsible for himself. He has a great life here. Lovely house, lovely food; I drive him to his work etc. He just lays around eating takeout and smoking weed if he is not working. I feel trapped as he sounds off to me constantly about how bad his life is and so forth but I can only tolerate so much. He has no intention of moving out or the like. I am in my late fifties and I am suffering a lot from this. It is like being trapped in a bad marriage!Anyway that is my rant for the day. I appreciate any feedback.

Guest_33399099 Wife ended it
  • replies: 2

Hey, My wife ended our marriage after 13 years. I do feel a lot of guilt that I probably wasn't the best husband towards the end as I was suffering some depression and wasn't stepping up. Within a week of discarding me another man who we had know for... View more

Hey, My wife ended our marriage after 13 years. I do feel a lot of guilt that I probably wasn't the best husband towards the end as I was suffering some depression and wasn't stepping up. Within a week of discarding me another man who we had know for 5 years was on the scene. For the next 5 months we swapped in and out of the home on different days to look after our 2 children. I eventually after this time moved into a rental ( I know I shouldn't have) but my mental health was declining rapidly. I know I should have stayed in house full time. Within 2 days of me moving into rental he moved in. He also left his wife of 28 years and two teenage kids. For the next 9 months my kids would stay at my rental for half the time. Unfortunately about 3 months ago I asked her if I could just have a bit of time as my mental health was severely declining again and I didn't want to be sad around the children. I still haven't had the kids back and obviously she now has filed for child support. She is also buying me out of the family home but the amount she is offering is not fair and my solicitor agrees but I don't think I can keep fighting much more. This guy is also spoiling my kids and trying totally erase me. I've been messaging the kids saying I love them, but my son messaged back he doesn't want to see me. He probably feels I've abandoned him. He's 9 and my daughter is 13. I'm paying large rent which I can't really afford in a tiny unit which I used to feel bad for the kids having to stay here. She's ended up with the house, A new partner, which she has denied they are a couple while the settlement is happening and I've got nothing barely surviving.

Strawbs101 My husband is an alcoholic
  • replies: 16

Hi everyone, this is my first post. I'm feeling really lost at the moment. I’ve been with my husband since we were 18, I’m now 43. We have 3 kids. he has been a functioning alcoholic for many of those years. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t drink. w... View more

Hi everyone, this is my first post. I'm feeling really lost at the moment. I’ve been with my husband since we were 18, I’m now 43. We have 3 kids. he has been a functioning alcoholic for many of those years. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t drink. we’ve argued about it for years, nothing changes. last October, on one particular night after months of him becoming more angry & verbally abusive in front of the kids, I told him to leave after a few days we talked & decided we needed to give it everything we’ve got before we end things. So he came back home agreed to go to couplescounselling. I didn’t ask him to quit drinking outright, I think part of me was scared of the answer & the other part wanted to believe him when he said he could cut right back. The counsellor suggested setting up a agreement as to how much he drank. the agreement was no beer before 3.30pm & max 6 per day. I let him choose the amount. I thought it was still a lot he assured me it was much less than before. I think he was having between 12-18 per day & more on weekends cause he’d start at like 11am. He was good for about a week then went over maybe 2 or 3. I felt so let down when he was having more. He thought I was being ‘over the top & controlling’. Over time it gradually got back to where it was. Then we’d fight, then he’d cut back again then the same cycle over & over…. The week days aren’t too bad, mainly because he is working more so getting home later but weekends are a right off. He’s drunk Fri night then starts early Saturday & Sunday. He makes sure he does some mowing or something to justify cracking a beer so early. When I ask him to cut back he thinks I’m trying to control him. He thinks if he’s not yelling & carrying on there’s no problem with him being drunk. He admits he is an alcoholic but doesn’t think he needs to do anything about it. I think I’ve been living on hope for so long because when he’s sober he’s great & I do love that version of him but this other guy that comes out when he drinks is a complete a**hole. I worry about the effect on my kids. I feel like I’ve been riding this roller coaster for the past few years & I’m over it. I want peace. i think deep down I know he won’t stop. No matter how much I ask, he won’t. so I guess the question is do I walk away or stay….. thanks for listening. I would love to hear your thoughts if you’ve been in a similar situation

Longlost The love of my life has left me
  • replies: 8

Hi, I'm new here and not sure what to expect but I guess nothing can be worse than how I am feeling now. just over 6 weeks ago my partner of 3 and a half years broke up with me. We were waiting to move into the apartment he had bought and it was so s... View more

Hi, I'm new here and not sure what to expect but I guess nothing can be worse than how I am feeling now. just over 6 weeks ago my partner of 3 and a half years broke up with me. We were waiting to move into the apartment he had bought and it was so sudden... He said he isn't happy and he needs to be on his own to sort himself out. He works FIFO and had really started shutting me out. I moved into my own place and am living alone at the moment, I have tried not contacting him, removed him from all social media and deleted his number but we have spoken a few times since it happens, last night being the first time I had seen him in 6 weeks and the last time. He wanted to explain some things to me to help me understand, he still loves me and this was so incredibly hard for him to do but he feels lost, unhappy and wants to be alone while he works his life out. he wants me to be happy and to find someone who can give me everything I need. He said he will always be there if I ever need him and he loves and cares about me so much. He said it would be selfish to say in a year or two who know what would happen because he doesn't want me to hang onto him and to move on and be happy. ive booked an appointment to see a counsellor on Friday but there hasn't been one week since it happened I haven't cried. I've never loved anyone like him and the relationship was never bad so I'm finding it so hard and I don't know what to do.. i was keeping active but the last week I've fallen in a heap.