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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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S1lver Back again, still haven't figured everything out
  • replies: 1

I (19M) posted a while back about getting broken up with, losing myself, and going on to use drugs as my outlet. Its been about 4-5 months since the relationship ended, in my previous post I talked about breaking no contact and how it affected me mor... View more

I (19M) posted a while back about getting broken up with, losing myself, and going on to use drugs as my outlet. Its been about 4-5 months since the relationship ended, in my previous post I talked about breaking no contact and how it affected me more than I thought it would. All the support and love I received on my last post was absolutely amazing, and I thank everyone for their kind words of support.Unfortunately since I posted, things from my point of view haven't changed much. As I am typing this it will be my first day without marijuana since the breakup, I have also unblocked my ex on all platforms, with no incentive to break no contact in the slightest. I have since been put on 2 forms of sleep medication, yet I have still been struggling.I am completing university, currently in my second year. For this, I have moved 5 hours away from home, and whilst the university life isn't bad in the slightest, I'm finding it hard to deal with my issues as I feel I don't really have good friends to talk to here like I do back home. I have still been immensely struggling when it comes to the thought of my ex, I haven't broken down or cried or anything, but I have had my fair share of sad days staying in my room for hours on end. I have tried to think logically about this, and have even tried to log what I am feeling but nothing is changing what's going on inside my head. No matter what I do, or how hard I try, I can never get the image of her or the memories I have about her out of my head.There are still so many things I wish I could have done differently during the relationship as I was by no means the greatest boyfriend, but my mind is still caught on the fact that I was the one blamed for a lot of the problems during the relationship, despite making major sacrifices and dealing with unfair treatment all the time. I just really don't want the relationship in my head anymore, I really want to move on and try and enjoy my life and time at uni, but I am finding it extremely hard and taxing and I'm not sure what to do anymore.

dogloverr My life is a mess right now and i dont know what to do
  • replies: 4

Hi, it took me a long time to write here,i dont even know where to start, i just feel helpless and feel like there's no one i can openly talk to.Long story short, i met my husband online, i moved countries for him, left my family,and we had a long di... View more

Hi, it took me a long time to write here,i dont even know where to start, i just feel helpless and feel like there's no one i can openly talk to.Long story short, i met my husband online, i moved countries for him, left my family,and we had a long distance relationship for over 6 years, being a total of 10 years together(we have no kids). Not even gonna mention all the money that he spent to finally get me here.The thing is he was never clear on how the living arrangements were going to be, my goal was to get a job when my visa allowed me, and work work work and build a life together, just like a normal couple. Another long story short, we now have a mortgage that me, his brother and his brother's partner are included, and we all live in the same house. On his brothers part, he has 3 kids, his mum, and also my husbands daughter (from his past relationship). Theres 9 people living in the house and i hate being here everyday.I have so much resentment build up, that sometimes i just spend the whole day in my room, my only safe place. Every day i feel like i hate everyone, and i dont want to talk to them, sometimes i get my dog and walk for hours and i dont even feel like coming back.Its very messy, like disgusting messy, theres no boundaries, kids come sleepover all the time, theres no limits.Everyone work everyday and when i have a day off, they expect me to watch their kids, pick up, drop off from school.His brother barely look after his kids because everyone else in the house do it for him.His youngest is now 4 years, and hes autistic and addicted to screens, he screams all day and if you stop watching he starts smearing poop all over the couch or the walls for example.I did so much for them in the past, i also work so much and now i just feel like im burnout.My husband keep saying this wont last forever and we gonna sell this house in 5 years. I dont know if i can last that long. This place has a very weird family dynamic where the brothers dont talk to each other, even my brother in law dont talk to me. I feel like i have no connection, all i wanted was to have my own quiet and clean place to live with him and my dog.People come and go in this house everyday and i just feel like i dont belong here. Sometimes i think i was happpier living in my home country with my simple life, my family, my freedom.I forgot to mention i was diagnosed with PMDD, so when it hits its pretty bad.I dont know if im being a horrible person, please share your thoughts.

tronic Need someone to talk to
  • replies: 2

My partner left me last year and I’ve been depressed ever since. I’m in Melbourne and need someone to talk to.

My partner left me last year and I’ve been depressed ever since. I’m in Melbourne and need someone to talk to.

ashley___ Scared
  • replies: 1

So I have been thinking about wanting to do game art/design for the past two years now, however i havent told my parents about it yet because im scared. im scared of how theyll react, im scared that they wont support or at least accept me for this. b... View more

So I have been thinking about wanting to do game art/design for the past two years now, however i havent told my parents about it yet because im scared. im scared of how theyll react, im scared that they wont support or at least accept me for this. but ive told everyone else (all of my friends, even my favourite teacher) about wanting to do this and they all support and encourage me. but what if i dont get the same from my parents? im not really open with them too so this is really scary for me.I just used to lie to them about not knowing what uni course i want to take, but lately ive been lying/telling them that im thinking about doing an art related course, but again they keep talking about demand, which is just making me more afraid to tell them as im not sure if game artists are even in demand. i feel so bad as im able to tell the truth to everyone else so easily, however when it comes to my own parents ive just been lying.I know they are just worried about my future and i know i have to tell them eventually, but my fear is stopping me and i dont know what to do anymore.

CaneNero Labelled as toxic and emotional
  • replies: 2

Hello. Will try to summarise. Thank you. I'm 42f my sister 43f. 2016, my sister went no contact with family and me. Difficult not knowing if she's okay, why she left me. Background: I idolised her growing up, but she was this "unattainable" friend be... View more

Hello. Will try to summarise. Thank you. I'm 42f my sister 43f. 2016, my sister went no contact with family and me. Difficult not knowing if she's okay, why she left me. Background: I idolised her growing up, but she was this "unattainable" friend because of her mental health issues. Would barely speak to me. I would knock, ask if she wanted to spend time together: Always rejected turned away. I never knew her because she was unwell. Caused me to grow up feeling unloved and "not good enough." Parents were also neglectful towards us. My sister and I tried living together just us in 2016. I thought living together would be great, I was so happy. I had given excuses for her neglect, always accepted her. "It's just her health, it's not me. She has problems, that's ok" - But after decades of this - I wanted things to change. I wanted to know her, and for her to know me. 2016, first six months of living together she neglected me, the usual. One day I felt upset, I thought maybe she would listen and be there for me at least. The first long conversation we had seemed great. Like we made progress, discussed some of our past. She was contributing and sharing about her life. I felt like she cared about me and us. Finally. Later I tried going to her again for a supportive conversation. She said she's tired, couldn't talk - but this is what she said 99% of the time. This time I didn't accept it. For once in my life I said "No... Come and talk with me. I need to talk." She seemed tired but talked, contributing her stuff and listened to mine. 3.5 hours passed. I was happy. I saw it as putting my needs first and progress to help both of us. So this was the second long conversation we had in 2016. The next morning she was gone. Gone without a word and I did not hear anything until 2024. 8 years no contact. I was devastated - it greatly affected my well-being. Made me unwell mentally. She never said a word to anyone in 8 years. No explanation. Years of wondering if she's ok/alive, what I have done to deserve this pain. She replied to one of my emails only once in 2024. The reply has broken me. I don't know what to do. Told me I was too emotional, toxic. But I only wanted her to care about me. I put my foot down for her to show she cared and to come talk to me, I need her - but she left the next day. I had over-stepped her boundaries. How can I feel ok about this? I never got the love I needed from my parents and my sister. All three of them don't want me even now.

Lauren57r Loosing myself
  • replies: 1

Feeling completely lost and have no idea how to deal with it. How do I move forward to care for myself 2025 lost my grandmother 6 weeks before my wedding. Wedding never felt the same. Since the wedding family has been blaming each other and won't sup... View more

Feeling completely lost and have no idea how to deal with it. How do I move forward to care for myself 2025 lost my grandmother 6 weeks before my wedding. Wedding never felt the same. Since the wedding family has been blaming each other and won't support each other and it also feels like they have turned their backs on me. I feel like im not only grieving my grandmother but the life I also knew and its affecting the life im trying to create with my husband but I worried I'm loosing myself and don't know what to do as its also affecting my work and friendships How have others got through this?

AIshel Ended my relationship and I'm so heartbroken...
  • replies: 2

A week ago I ended my 6+ year relationship. We were a blended family, with so many things against us from the beginning. External issues but also problems between the two of us. While I know it's for the best, this hurts like nothing I've ever felt. ... View more

A week ago I ended my 6+ year relationship. We were a blended family, with so many things against us from the beginning. External issues but also problems between the two of us. While I know it's for the best, this hurts like nothing I've ever felt. I didn't cry when I ended my 13 year marriage years ago. But this? This is truly testing my strength and resilience. I've gone through so much in my life but my heart aches and I can't stop crying to the point I can't breathe. I'm trying to stay strong but I often breakdown. I know it's still fresh but I've never ended a relationship where we both still love each other deeply. Sometimes love isn't enough and I'm a 47 year old thinking this might break me...

IIEK Confused
  • replies: 7

I lost my husband January after 40 years. Since his funeral my stepdaughter hasn't spoken to me. She was there before he passed and his family helped me arrange the funeral. I have heard from the rest of the family except her. No explanations, nothin... View more

I lost my husband January after 40 years. Since his funeral my stepdaughter hasn't spoken to me. She was there before he passed and his family helped me arrange the funeral. I have heard from the rest of the family except her. No explanations, nothing. I thought we were close. They all live interstate. I am gradually going through my husband's things and will pass on things I know he wanted them to gave. But the loneliness and missing my husband and the total cut off by his daughter is something that consume me.I have tried reaching out but she doesn't respond and the rest of the family are pleading ignorance. If I had said or done something during that time I would rather hear about it. I know my head wasn't in a good place. ..but surely...just to be cut off like that?

Guest_10343 Feeling like a stranger in my own family lately
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone,I’ve been a lurker here for a while and finally felt brave enough to post. I’m struggling a bit with the dynamics in my family lately and wanted to see if anyone else has felt the same way.We see each other fairly often, but I’ve noticed ... View more

Hi everyone,I’ve been a lurker here for a while and finally felt brave enough to post. I’m struggling a bit with the dynamics in my family lately and wanted to see if anyone else has felt the same way.We see each other fairly often, but I’ve noticed that our conversations never seem to go below the surface. Whenever I try to be vulnerable or mention that I’ve been having a tough time with my mental health, the room goes quiet or someone quickly changes the subject back to work or what’s on TV.It leaves me feeling incredibly lonely, even when I'm sitting right there at the dinner table with them. I love them, but I feel like I’m only allowed to show the "happy" version of myself, and it’s becoming really exhausting to keep up the act.Has anyone else navigated this kind of emotional distance with their parents or siblings? How do you deal with family members who are "good people" but just don't seem to have the tools to handle the heavy stuff? I’m trying to figure out if I should keep pushing for a deeper connection or if I just need to accept that they might never be the support system I'm looking for.Thanks for listening. Sending strength to anyone else feeling a bit disconnected today.

gurindjiwoman I want a mum.
  • replies: 1

Hi I don't come on to these forums often. If I am being honest, I tend to forget that it exists. Anyway, I do not consider myself as having a biological mother (as far as I am concerned). I live with my biological mother, but I do not know who she is... View more

Hi I don't come on to these forums often. If I am being honest, I tend to forget that it exists. Anyway, I do not consider myself as having a biological mother (as far as I am concerned). I live with my biological mother, but I do not know who she is anymore. I have lost her to many years worth of chronic gambling and alcoholism. There are times where I look at my mother in the eyes after we have had a massive falling out. She tends to look lifeless and defeated. Our arguments often revolve around mundane matters. Whenever I have a genuine concern to share with her, or if there is something positive that I want to share with her, she does not listen, she becomes jealous (disguised as care/concern/protection), and she does not show any interest either. A good example of this is when I disclosed my feelings of attraction for an older man when I was younger. I was incredibly anxious about telling her this (I even had a bucket in case I was going to throw up), because he was someone I really liked and I did not have the confidence to ask him out on a date. She dismissed my feelings and told me to go back to sleep. She did not want, and still does not want to know about it. Even still to this day, when I try to explain to her what I was going through in my mind, she would tell me that she was never going to enable me and that she too lived through what I went through. Never in my life have I felt so invalidated by the woman who birthed me. I ultimately ended up in a psychiatric ward three times in the space of seven months over my bottled up feelings (which eventually came out as rage). I cannot express genuine frustration with her, because then she would bring up my medication with me and how taking every day will prevent me from being nasty to her (I do take it every day these days). I even recall that she wanted to put a GPS tracking system on my car so that she could track where I would go. I wish she was not my mother. I hate her with a passion. She has pushed me away, yet at the same time, I am a slave to her trauma bond. There is more that I could write. I am too emotionally drained to write anything else right now.

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