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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Questo Teachers bullying other teachers
  • replies: 2

Hi, I went through quite an ordeal as a student teacher recently. So bad in fact that I am not able to continue my course. I found the teachers in the system to be extremely toxic and expert bullies as well. Unpleasant to say the least. Has anyone el... View more

Hi, I went through quite an ordeal as a student teacher recently. So bad in fact that I am not able to continue my course. I found the teachers in the system to be extremely toxic and expert bullies as well. Unpleasant to say the least. Has anyone else experienced this kind of behaviour within an educational environment?

Agreen So Lonely, Sexless Marriage
  • replies: 10

My husband and I have been together for 14 years and have 1 child. Over the years I have had some body image issues and have not always been forthcoming in answering his requests for sexual intimacy. Then about 12 to 18 months ago, it is hard to say ... View more

My husband and I have been together for 14 years and have 1 child. Over the years I have had some body image issues and have not always been forthcoming in answering his requests for sexual intimacy. Then about 12 to 18 months ago, it is hard to say exactly when it started, he stopped asking at all, and earlier this year I tried to speak to him about it and it just turned into a big argument. I feel totally alone in my marriage, he does not even attempt basic intimacy anymore, like a kiss good morning or good night, no holding hands, we hardly speak at all, there is no discussion on futures or anything past some of the most basic pleasantries. We both work, and so when I get home, he does not talk to me, doesn’t ask me how my day was, I need to always ask him how his day was and things like that. When he talks to his mates, on the computer, he sounds happy enough but when I go to talk to him it is like I am annoying him or something, it is short sharp responses, to make matters worse even something simple like going for a walk as a family he now avoids. I feel so lonely it keeps me up some nights and I can’t sleep. What should I do?

Lu8Lu8 His dad is ruining my relationship
  • replies: 1

Hi,I love my boyfriend. We’ve been going out almost 4 years and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. The problem I am having is that his dad is almost constantly calling him after work or on his days off to come help him do his work. My... View more

Hi,I love my boyfriend. We’ve been going out almost 4 years and I can’t imagine spending my life with anyone else. The problem I am having is that his dad is almost constantly calling him after work or on his days off to come help him do his work. My boyfriend already works long hours, often works overtime and has two jobs of his own already. I hardly see him and when I do he’s so tired that we often just end up eating dinner together and fall asleep cuddling. Now to the problem. His dad works long days often to 12-1am in transporting and moving livestock. I get that the job needs to be done or he doesn’t get paid. There’s no choice in that matter. But calling my already exhausted boyfriend who already is too tired and has too much of a heart to say no to come help to god knows when in the night just seems unfair.There are no boundaries being set and it has me worried for so many reasons. But when I bring it up with my boyfriend he brushes me off and says he can’t say no as he doesn’t want to cause drama in his already messed up family life. But it’s taking a toll on him. He can’t see the impact it is having on his other work or the turmoil it is putting me through. It is making me wonder whether this relationship is worth staying in (which is just a heartbreaking thought). I need some advice on what to do because this is never going to get better if I don’t.

just-a-Dad Parental alienation.
  • replies: 2

I wonder how many thousands of Dads, who falsely been accused of domestic violence, and have a restraining order on them, as a result who are not allowed to comment their problems on a great forum, like this, because they would breach the order impos... View more

I wonder how many thousands of Dads, who falsely been accused of domestic violence, and have a restraining order on them, as a result who are not allowed to comment their problems on a great forum, like this, because they would breach the order imposed on them for something they didn’t even do.

RMIreland Forever Single
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone! Thank you for reading my post and supporting me in what feels like my life's eternal struggle. I'm 35 and been single almost all of my adult life. There are a number of reasons to explain some of the time I was single - I had very low se... View more

Hi everyone! Thank you for reading my post and supporting me in what feels like my life's eternal struggle. I'm 35 and been single almost all of my adult life. There are a number of reasons to explain some of the time I was single - I had very low self-esteem in my early 20s and I moved around a lot in my mid - late 20s. I was always generally hoping and praying that I would meet someone during these times anyway due to a general lack of self-worth. I settled in one area at 29, and met someone at 31, but the relationship only lasted a year and a half because he didn't want kids or marriage, and wanted an open relationship. I was devastated because I loved him so much and it had taken so long to meet someone I clicked with. Fast-forward 2 years and I am still really struggling with being single. Now I am over the 35 mark, it feels like the idea of having children is slowly falling away and I feel even more under pressure to meet someone than ever, but rarely make it to a second date with people. I am always open to getting to know people more, but they don't seem to be. I only know a few other single people who seem to be meeting partners before me, in fact, it is a sad belief I have, 'Everyone I know meets someone before me.' And none of their relationships are ending, like my one did. I even have a younger friend who has met someone naturally (not on the apps) and now I am filled with the most painful envy every time I think about her getting what I want. It's not a nice way to feel. I have achieved so much in my life - moved abroad by myself, built a life, bought a house, completed a Masters, but all of it feels worthless because I am still single. Even the use of the 'still' shows I feel like my life can't start until I meet someone. And I am doing a lot to open myself up. I am on the apps and go to in-person events. Sadly, most of my interests are more geared towards women and gay men, so that avenue is not as useful as it could be. And now dating itself is causing huge anxiety because I obsess about whether the person will message me back or not, and go into complete spirals if I think they are going to ghost me, or if I notice any slight pattern change in our communication. I'm exhausted by it all. I know I have so much to be thankful for, but feel like if I don't get this one thing, I can never truly be content in life. I go to a psychologist twice a week to help deal with these things too. Thank you so much for listening to me.

Yim7 My Best Friends are Awful Roommates
  • replies: 3

I moved out of home with my 3 closest friends in 2023; It was great but over time I have started to feel increasingly miserable over their behaviours and bad habits pertaining to cleanliness of our shared spaces; we all work late night hospitality jo... View more

I moved out of home with my 3 closest friends in 2023; It was great but over time I have started to feel increasingly miserable over their behaviours and bad habits pertaining to cleanliness of our shared spaces; we all work late night hospitality jobs so I understand that it’s exhausting coming home and you just want to eat and sleep and ‘deal with it later’. But I’ve been finding it increasingly hard to use spaces without having to clean up their mess in order to use the space. From the vacuum cleaner not being emptied after use and getting blocked with mould, to stacks of empty toilet rolls stacked in our bathrooms, greasy/sticky bench tops and tables, food scraps on the floor and in the couch and carpet, overflowing bins; there is an expectation of ‘I’ll do it later’ that’s become ‘do it when I finally notice’. I was raised to clean up spaces and keep them tidy when finished using them, but I’m sick of having to clean up after myself AND others, whenever I need to use the kitchen, lounge or bathrooms. It’s become increasingly taxing on me and I find it unfair that I’m cleaning up after myself I’m cleaning up their mess too. We had a big argument/meeting over this because I tried talking to other people about what I should do, and it’s created a miserable tension in the house and a 3 vs Me situation; I was told I’ve forced myself into a matronly service role because I have a ‘psychotic’ standard of cleanliness, that the house isn’t as dirty as I think it is and it’s all in my head, and I’ve been basically been told there will be no compromise. they’ve basically told me to ‘suck it up or leave’, and I’m genuinely considering it; these people are supposed to be my best friends but when I told them how I felt, it was immediately thrown back at me… I don’t want to move back in with my parents or move in with strangers and I feel stuck, overwhelmed and unequal in this dynamic.

What-to-do Lost and hurt
  • replies: 1

Hi, I was in a relationship for 6 and a half years, I was the proud father of IVF twins and worshipped the ground my partner walked on. The last time I saw our kids was 28/10/24, their mother has now told our kids that I am not their Father and that ... View more

Hi, I was in a relationship for 6 and a half years, I was the proud father of IVF twins and worshipped the ground my partner walked on. The last time I saw our kids was 28/10/24, their mother has now told our kids that I am not their Father and that they are IVF children, I informed the mother that I was starting family court proceedings so I could speak with our kids. Then on the 2/12/24 I received a phone call from Brisbane police asking how long I have been in a relationship with our kids mother, I told the police 6 and a half years, to which the police told me that the kids mother told them we had broken up in 2019 🥲. I told them its over as of this phone call, 12th December 2024, she told the police that the kids have never called me day and that I put my hand through my wall infront of her and our kids mind you I live in a solid concrete unit, can't put your hand through my walls. My ex-partner treats our kids like they are her possessions, never has time for them, thinks buying gifts everyday makes it okay that she takes them no where and always tells at them . I don't understand why this has happened as I have never done anything to deserve this kind of treatment, nor do all the children involved. My ex-partner was also my sons stepmother for 7 years, my son was our twins older brother and the only mother figure he had ever had, now apparently he was never the twins brother and she was never his stepmother , but photos and videos prove our relationship 🫣Everyday now is a struggle, to find a reason to keep fighting, so lost, down,confused and just empty I don't see the point in life anymore

going_backwards Adult son stopped talking to me
  • replies: 15

I don't know what to do. For a reason I don't really know, my son (who is now 28) has just stopped communicating with me. He won't answer my texts, phone calls or emails and I haven't seen him in 5 months. He has also moved and I don't even know his ... View more

I don't know what to do. For a reason I don't really know, my son (who is now 28) has just stopped communicating with me. He won't answer my texts, phone calls or emails and I haven't seen him in 5 months. He has also moved and I don't even know his address (but do know the area). He also has no contact with his siblings either and didn't even acknowledge his own nephews birth recently. It is breaking my heart to the point where it is affecting every aspect of my life. My marriage broke down (9 years ago) after 30 years when my husband cheated and left to be with the other woman and it really did affect my son and tore the family apart. I fought hard with severe depression, almost taking my life at one point but got through by fighting hard and getting 3 years of counselling. I built up my life again, remarrying and my family are all happy for me but it was a very tough road. But now my son seems to have been slowly pulling away over the last few years (he has a new girlfriend too) but now no matter what he just won't talk to me. His father has no contact with him and he has now totally rejected his father from his life and I am terrified he is doing that to me. I just can't bear the thought of not having him in my life. He was a hard child to raise (ADD) and has good job and life now but because of the ADD I have to be careful how i approach the situation as he is more likely to run further if I push any blame on him etc. It feels like rejection all over again and I am finding it almost impossible to stop thinking and wondering and not knowing what to do. It is affecting my work, my family relationships and every aspect of my life. I have lost all interest in myself and feel like I am going backwards after all the hard work I put in to rebuilding my life. I was so so proud of myself, reinventing myself so to speak and becoming a strong and independent woman. Now I fear I am falling backwards. I don't know how to cope or what to do anymore. I know it is something he feels deeply about and I can only guess. My husband confided in me recently that he called my son's girlfriend but she felt (or would not) say what was happening. I suspect she is part of the reason too and the whole situation is just tearing me apart.

mooooo I left my partner for a crush I had during the relationship and now I am feeling lost
  • replies: 2

Hello lovely people, I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for 1 year. He was so good to me. There were many traits I loved about him; he was sociable, driven, cared for me a lot, invested in the relationship and he was a great listener. However,... View more

Hello lovely people, I was in a relationship with my boyfriend for 1 year. He was so good to me. There were many traits I loved about him; he was sociable, driven, cared for me a lot, invested in the relationship and he was a great listener. However, I couldn't help but feel that something was missing. It was a grey area for me as I have struggled with depression and anxiety for as long as I can remember. I felt misunderstood, and only after the relationship did I realise his lack of understanding for me was maybe because I shut him out a bit and was terrified of opening up fully and having him see me. I just wanted him to be able to read me better. I started developing feelings for a close friend of mine. I felt like he understood me like no one before and we had very similar humor. I loved how much we laughed together. I struggled for 6 months trying to work out whether the feelings I had for him should be a sign that I should leave my boyfriend as there was something better-suited to me out there. At the end of those 6 months, I was fed up with trying to make my relationship work. I decided to leave my partner and pursue the possibility of a relationship with my friend. It was really nice at first. I felt like we understood each other so well. But now, I have noticed similar patterns to my last relationship starting to arise. I find myself being overly critical of him, not feeling like seeing or talking to him and looking for something else out there. I also miss my last boyfriend so much. I have had a lot of reflection since we broke up and have been starting to believe that maybe there was less wrong with him and more with me. I didn't feel like we were on the same intellectual level and that our conversations were boring, but now when I talk to him occasionally I love it so much. I can't tell if I'm just missing the idea of him, or maybe if I unknowingly sabotaged the relationship out of fear of opening up and being seen. I love the guy I am with now, but cannot cope with how much I miss my ex-boyfriend and am feeling like maybe I could give our relationship another go down the track so am afraid of really hurting my current partner. Would love any advice or stories of similar experiences.

Guest_31826751 I always end up apologising to my partner
  • replies: 2

Hi, I have been with my partner for a few years now and we have acknowledged we didn’t have a healthy relationship for a lot of it and are trying to work to be better. I have begun to realise that I apologise and take the fault for most things, even ... View more

Hi, I have been with my partner for a few years now and we have acknowledged we didn’t have a healthy relationship for a lot of it and are trying to work to be better. I have begun to realise that I apologise and take the fault for most things, even when he plays a direct role in something going wrong. I am terrified to bring it up with him because I feel as though he won’t validate my feelings, he will take it as an attack. I don’t trust that I can say how his behaviour affects me without him getting defensive or finding a way to turn it around on me. I am genuinely worried that he doesn’t see himself ever at fault or that he has any poor behaviours.