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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Guest_91838890 Job, Living, and Relationship Struggle
  • replies: 2

I am 31, I am working two jobs but earning nothing, I graduated from uni last year, I can't find a full time job. I'm with my first boyfriend and I think I need to break up with him but I just moved in to his mum's house out of necessity (my parents ... View more

I am 31, I am working two jobs but earning nothing, I graduated from uni last year, I can't find a full time job. I'm with my first boyfriend and I think I need to break up with him but I just moved in to his mum's house out of necessity (my parents went travelling so I couldn't stay with them, I was staying with my sister but now she's pregnant so they asked me to leave). I dont like either of my jobs, but I'm not earning enough to leave either of them. I need to break up with my boyfriend but I literally have nowhere to go and don't earn enough to rent somewhere on my own, I don't know what to do and I'm perpetually stressed out.

persimmon Emotionally unavailable boyfriend
  • replies: 1

Hello everyone. I think I just need a rant. My boyfriend and I met in March 2024 in Europe. He was from Melbourne and I was from QLD. We did long distance for 2 years, and in March this year I moved to Melbourne to be with him finally. I was so excit... View more

Hello everyone. I think I just need a rant. My boyfriend and I met in March 2024 in Europe. He was from Melbourne and I was from QLD. We did long distance for 2 years, and in March this year I moved to Melbourne to be with him finally. I was so excited to finally start my life with him. I have had pretty severe mental struggles throughout our relationship, which causes extreme love/hate mood swings towards him. For this reason I have tried to work through my feelings towards him and stay pretty positive. We had a talk the other day, and he said he doesn't think he knows what love is. He's also completely emotionally unavailable. I asked him what he loves about me, and he says that he likes that I go to the shop and do the grocery shopping because he hates it. And he likes that I cook dinner. I said 'no, what do you love, not like' and that's when he said he doesn't know what love is. He said 'do you want me to say I love your smile or something', as a joke. And maybe I did want him to say he loved my smile. Maybe I wanted him to tell me he loved me for my personality. Or for my eyes. Or for my laugh. I don't want to hear him say he likes that I cook dinner and go grocery shopping. Because those are things that I constantly ask him to come with me to do. He's not going to change. I know, because I asked. 'What would it take for you to WANT to do more. To feel emotions or to feel love' and he said a near death experience. I asked what would happen if we broke up and he said 'these things happen all the time. I'd just keep doing my thing'. I think I need to break up with him. But I moved my whole life, and I'm also struggling through a 'crisis' according to the hospital. But I don't think he will ever change or be able to love me the way I know I deserve. He's not unkind. He gives me hugs and kisses. We get along really well. But I need someone emotionally available. I want someone to show me they love me. To fight for me. To come grocery shopping with me and to make dinner with me. I do love my boyfriend. I love that he feels comfortable. But comfortable is a problem sometimes. Sorry if that didn't make sense, but that's my rant.

Guest_72269643 Partner Emotionally Cheated
  • replies: 4

I found out 3 months ago my fiance cheated on me by sexting a woman we worked with, at the same time I’d just had our second child.We have had a lot of conflict in our relationship more so after having our first, he seemed attention from elsewhere as... View more

I found out 3 months ago my fiance cheated on me by sexting a woman we worked with, at the same time I’d just had our second child.We have had a lot of conflict in our relationship more so after having our first, he seemed attention from elsewhere as a form of “escapism” (in his words). For the past 3 months I have struggled so much with hyserarousal with my emotions, I feel I am constantly ruminating about what I saw and how it made me feel. I find my emotions can come out quiet erratic and obsessive and I’ve become quiet spiteful. We are trying to sort it out but the healing process is constantly blocked by him, he constantly tells me to “get over it now” and to “try move on” from it all. He has zero understanding of my emotions despite me expanding that I am experiencing signs of PTSD (prev diagnosis).I feel this keeps pushing my healing journey back that he is not acknowledging. I just feel so lost.I know what i need to do but im mourning the relationship i had with him, and mourning the loss of myself.

Guest_01149721 Please help, my husband watches porn, started drinking and yells at me
  • replies: 2

Hello, it feels like I’m going crazy… I’ve found out my husband watches porn… a lot.. I confronted him and he got very defensive and angry. He blames me for this as I’m not giving him enough sex and I’m a hopeless wife… we both work full time and I f... View more

Hello, it feels like I’m going crazy… I’ve found out my husband watches porn… a lot.. I confronted him and he got very defensive and angry. He blames me for this as I’m not giving him enough sex and I’m a hopeless wife… we both work full time and I finish work later. We share the cooking but he does end up cooking more often than me and he was getting angry about this while I’m trying to have a conversation with him in a gentle way to why he has the need to watch porn on a regular basis. He was doing this a few years ago and he then promised to stop.. he obviously hasn’t stopped! I have explained to him how it makes me feel but he doesn’t seek to care and start blaming me and points out the faults he thinks I have. He is also drinking excessive amounts of alcohol and mixes it with energy drinks which makes him act strange and aggressive the way he speaks to me. When I’m trying to have a calm and non judgemental conversation it ends up with him yelling, calling me names and swearing which I have also previously asked to stop. I’m at my wits end and don’t know who I can talk to. This is my second marriage and I’m too ashamed to reach out. I have a good relationship with my brother and wonder if I should talk to him.. my family and friends will be guttered if they know how abusive my husband has become. To the outside world he is a hardworking, good man with a sense of humour. I’m so embarrassed about everything and don’t know what to do or who to turn to.

WalkingWounded SUPPORT FROM OTHERS AFFECTED BY LOVE+SEX ADDICTION
  • replies: 1

I’m writing this post in desperation, hoping it’s seen by the right person(s). I feel i would benefit from hearing how others have gotten through the toughest times of Sex+Love Addiction.I will add that there are other complex factors that amplify my... View more

I’m writing this post in desperation, hoping it’s seen by the right person(s). I feel i would benefit from hearing how others have gotten through the toughest times of Sex+Love Addiction.I will add that there are other complex factors that amplify my situation too, including complex mental health illness and drug dependency (both partners). I am currently at a crossroads where I must stop using drugs and cut off the toxic relationships I have become dependent on.I am about to enter a rehabilitation setting. This will be challenging but i know I can do it because my life is spiralling out of control. I see myself starting to entertain thoughts of suicide being acceptable, but this is not in alignment with my core beliefs. I think i understand that what I am scared to face is GRIEF and loneliness, the process is agonisingly evident right now through my shaking body, broken heart and mind.I must close the door (permanently) on the abusive, narcissistic lover who I allowed myself to become obsessed with. They treat me with disrespect and resentment yet I feel desperate to hold on and somehow win their approval and affection. I know this delusional thinking is insanity because I have tried numerous times to create a positive outcome and ended up more damaged and devalued. I wonder how I can become interested in myself, the way I am in others? So highly motivated and willing to give away all of me away yet avoidant of all my essential needs. It is an appalling and shameful disease. Please share how you turned focus onto yourself. I very much appreciate comments from your own experiences and wisdom.

raman15091987 issues results to anxiety and heavy heart beats
  • replies: 3

Hi folks,I live in Melbourne, married for almost 10 years. from last 4-5 years there has been a lot of arguments with my wife. When ever i try to tell my problems to her. to she replies don't tell me your problems , if u have issues go to mental asyl... View more

Hi folks,I live in Melbourne, married for almost 10 years. from last 4-5 years there has been a lot of arguments with my wife. When ever i try to tell my problems to her. to she replies don't tell me your problems , if u have issues go to mental asylum. Every discussion ends up i am the only one who ruined every thing. Now i started feeling i am the only one who spoiled every thing.

Guest_40063911 A great marriage of 35 years is breaking down
  • replies: 2

My marriage of 35 yearsis breaking down. Why - because I love her too much I want more of her, she’s the most beautiful person I could ever imagine being my partner and I’ve always wanted to show her how much I feel for her. I want to give more to he... View more

My marriage of 35 yearsis breaking down. Why - because I love her too much I want more of her, she’s the most beautiful person I could ever imagine being my partner and I’ve always wanted to show her how much I feel for her. I want to give more to her than she is prepared to give back. It’s been like that for the majority of our marriage. Her preference is television, books, social media, coffee with friends and long telephone calls. It’s like she needs constant stimulation, but not from me. We have three brilliant kids. Everything is pretty okay but over the years, she has called me things like greedy, a spoilt child, the more I say I would do anything for her the more she angry she gets. So I pull back, I feel another chip has been cracked off my block. The Love is not round and wholesome. It’s a jagged shitty little rock. We talk about it but we get nowhere. It’s become all about my frustrations and hurt and the things I say like how she’s ungrateful she is for what I give her. I say things like there will be people out there that don’t have anyone loving them like I love you. The more I say the more angry she gets. I call her skin deep because her anger just hurts. Big mistake. So it’s now got to this point where she’s saying she’s had enough, she’s sick of having to deal with my hurt tantrums, she says I’m like a fourth child. She claims she loves me but it’s hard to accept when she’s walked back so far away from me. Kids are gone and now she’s going

blues23 The never ending saga
  • replies: 4

As to form my family member took another disrespectful step towards me today I cut all contact around 3 weeks ago sent them a letter outlining what they are doing; ( pointless but I needed to purge for my mental health) they went to my local newspape... View more

As to form my family member took another disrespectful step towards me today I cut all contact around 3 weeks ago sent them a letter outlining what they are doing; ( pointless but I needed to purge for my mental health) they went to my local newspaper shop ( I got their kids and mine paper rounds a few years ago and have been paying them for their work and vise Versa) today my family member went in behind my back to the owner and told them to split the round in half ) so she can do her bit by herself and they tried to get the poor owner involved in my family members triangulation of me ) I felt so sorry for the owner I apologised and told her I’m sorry that she got put in the middle and it’s very unprofessional of my family member to behave this way she was quite understanding and said it was up to me if I want to let her split it so I did I was just purely shocked by it all most people address issues with the person not drag strangers into it But the effect of my family member doing this to me again just to twist the pain they are causing me to like get a reaction out of me to hurt me more I did my best and just accept that the rounds be split & that’s fine : my family member doing ( who I requested in my letter to not contact me again they did to twist the pain again and hurt me again insinuating I was like withholding their payment for their paper rounds ( cause that’s just what I do steal things & lie sure ) and ask me for receipts of payment and stuff like this …my only reply was to come get it on my doorstep cause that’s where they are most comfortable.. im honestly sick of this like I set barriers they break them they do anything to hurt me to discredit me to tarnish me and I’ve spent so much of my time & efforts trying to give them chances and understanding and I still end up despite setting barriers and laying out how hurt I am I still get smacked down and disrespected . I’m a little sad and hurt and I’m like why am i bothering myself with all this petty nonsense . They will never respect me or even acknowledge what they are doing to me

Angry-SOB Helpless
  • replies: 1

Our Adult son separated last year straight away she served ADVO for absolutely no reason, she instigated the separation, leaving behind his daughter 5yrs and 2 of her children from a previous relationship who he adores …. She is a text book Narcissis... View more

Our Adult son separated last year straight away she served ADVO for absolutely no reason, she instigated the separation, leaving behind his daughter 5yrs and 2 of her children from a previous relationship who he adores …. She is a text book Narcissist and so very revengeful and is using the little girl as a pawn. As a grandparent is there any thing I can do…. I’m so angry I’m actually concerned…..

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