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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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CrimsonBlue Wife micro-cheating with friend, so confused.
  • replies: 1

I'm in a Lesbian relationship and married to my wife for 6 years and together for about 20years. We have to beautiful girls, and I love my wife so very much but for the past year she has been texting another woman from her childhood. She has recently... View more

I'm in a Lesbian relationship and married to my wife for 6 years and together for about 20years. We have to beautiful girls, and I love my wife so very much but for the past year she has been texting another woman from her childhood. She has recently lost her father and in that time, she reconnected with this friend, but the connection was a lot stronger than I thought. My wife told her that she was falling in love with her. The other woman hasn't really told my wife how she feels about her, but they have been flirting in the texts that they send. I knew something was going on as my wife was distant and being secretive. I found a message that she sent this woman saying that she had fallen in love with he,r so I asked her about it and eventually she confessed to me but has since told me that she was in a bad place from the loss of her dad and wasn't thinking properly. Which I can understand but her feelings were real. She has continued to text and see this woman even after I have told her that I would rather she not have anything to do with her. I have asked her if she still has feelings for this woman and she said no. But then I asked her would she tell me if she did have feelings for her and she also said no. So, I struggle with trusting her now. She will be going to see this friend soon as she is a friend of her family. I am sure that the other woman has developed feelings for my wife, and I know my wife still have feelings for her too. My head is spinning around and sometimes I don't know what to do. I love her so much and can't imagine my life without her, but this is messing with my head and heart. What should I do???

KTF undecided
  • replies: 3

I love my wife and kids but i feel we as a married couple have drifted apart. I'm a good person I work full-time in corrections ( Crime) i cook, clean look after the kids put them to bed every day but I feel its never good enough. I never go to the p... View more

I love my wife and kids but i feel we as a married couple have drifted apart. I'm a good person I work full-time in corrections ( Crime) i cook, clean look after the kids put them to bed every day but I feel its never good enough. I never go to the pub or hang out with mates I feel that i don't want to return home and I feel pressure from her family is also contributing. I hate trying to work out what she will be like each day. I feel it should be this hard. I have approached the topic number of times but she just cries. Im at a loss i see other family members enjoying their lives and i feel it may be easy single. But i have supported her enormously with finances and yet her family are very well off and i feel if we do spilt she will take everything from me and i will be a 40yr old male starting from scratch again

Jordan701 Feeling not wanted
  • replies: 1

Hi all I’m not the best at this stuff but here go’s im a 22yr old male nearly 23 and over the last 3-4 years I’ve just felt not wanted in any form I’m outgoing nice funny and caring but just get treated like crap I play sports and no one sits near me... View more

Hi all I’m not the best at this stuff but here go’s im a 22yr old male nearly 23 and over the last 3-4 years I’ve just felt not wanted in any form I’m outgoing nice funny and caring but just get treated like crap I play sports and no one sits near me or really talks to me it seems like I always start the conversation and then they just get shitty and leave or I join in a group and they talk around me then leave then I’m just by myself talking to girls isn’t to hard of a task but I’m a virgin and I get made fun of a lot for it so my confidence it getting lower each day and I’ve been talking to less and less girls my family are all starting to have family’s of their own and I get reminded daily that they’re disappointed with my not dating or talking about my future and that just makes me feel on the outside of my family as well as my teammates I should also mention I had a lot of friends at school but they most of them stopped inviting me and talking to me after I stopped going to school for a few months because my mental health was not well at all and they never asked me how I was and blamed me for not coming to invites I’m not in a big area I’m in a small town and gossip and word spreads fast and then you just get left out of everything and end up not knowing if you belong at all I finally got a stable job after months of no jobs and my family are starting to be proud of me in that regard but I just feel trapped and everyday I feel worse & worse at work but put on a brave face but I feel like the customers can see through my fake smile and once happy shine I’m staring to not enjoy things that gave me joy and now just opt for my bed and movies after work till night and get up and do it all again…..I’m starting to lose faith In everything

margaret1 Teachers bullied by 'colleagues'
  • replies: 70

If you’re a teacher being bullied by HOD/ Principal/ colleague I think this may help you. It helped me a lot. I couldn’t understand why when I was such a good teacher I was having such ridiculous, hurtful, nasty, petty, time wasting, health destroyin... View more

If you’re a teacher being bullied by HOD/ Principal/ colleague I think this may help you. It helped me a lot. I couldn’t understand why when I was such a good teacher I was having such ridiculous, hurtful, nasty, petty, time wasting, health destroying problems at work. Anyway here you are; this is why we get bullied: Teacher bullies in schools “fear exposure of their perceived shortcomings, such as inadequacy and incompetence, and these people bully not for fun but in order - they think - to survive. Competent colleagues fuel the bully's fear that shortcomings in their capabilities will surface, so they tend to select targets who fulfil some of the criteria below. Being competent, that is being good at their job, often excelling; being willing to go the extra mile and expect others to do the same; being successful, tenacious, determined, courageous, having fortitude; being imaginative, creative, innovative; being able to master new skills; thinking long term and seeing the bigger picture; being helpful, always willing to share knowledge and experience; being diligent and industrious Being Popular with colleagues, pupils, parents, Being regarded as an expert and the person to whom others come for advice, either personal or professional, having a sense of humour, including displays of quick-wittedness Having strength of character displaying integrity, honesty,intelligence and intellect; having a well-defined set of values that they are unwilling to compromise; being trustworthy, trusting, conscientious, loyal and dependable; a sense of fairness: willingness to tackle injustice, low propensity to violence and strong forgiving streak, refusing to join an established clique; being sensitive, having empathy, concern for others, respect, tolerance, being slow to anger, showing independence of thought or deed, refusing to become a corporate clone and drone, having high coping skills under stress, especially when the injury to health becomes apparent

Lookingforpeace Married and in love with someone else
  • replies: 12

Hi all I don't know where else to go with this, but I feel like my current situation is eating me up and I'm so tired of it. Long story so please bear with me. I recently rekindled a friendship with my first love. We are both married and have admitte... View more

Hi all I don't know where else to go with this, but I feel like my current situation is eating me up and I'm so tired of it. Long story so please bear with me. I recently rekindled a friendship with my first love. We are both married and have admitted our feelings for each other. He has told me he is insanely in love with me. We tried cutting things off in order to work on our respective marriages but that only lasted about a month. If anything, I felt even more depressed during the time we weren't talking, like something significant was missing in my life. I am so unhappy in my marriage and sick and tired. Sick and tired of us just not "clicking", living like room mates and feeling like there is no emotional or physical connection. He is more like my best friend, which some people say is essential to a marriage but then why do I feel like it's not enough? My husband is a great guy and he is the first person I go to for advice and support with my mental health. I'm not even sure if I could get the same thing from this other guy. I feel so selfish and like a bad person for feeling this way. I have been questioning whether I am just infatuated with the other guy. I truly am blind when it comes to him, and feel like he is a drug. When I see him I'm on a high, which lasts for a few hours/days, then I crash. Can infatuation turn into long lasting love I wonder... I have never felt this way about anyone before, not even my husband. I was in my mid-20s when I married him and he was my first. I fee like I should have gotten more life experience before making a decision like that. At the time though, I'd been broken hearted and decided that truly being in love only led to heartache and instead I would marry someone that ticked the boxes. Yes I have thought about leaving my husband. But I'm terrified about the logistics aswell as the perception of me especially by my conservative family. Also I have had moderate-severe anxiety and depression for about a year now and not sure if a separation would be the best thing right now. Having said that, a lot of my anxiety and depression has stemmed from being in an unhappy marriage so.... Chicken or the egg I suppose. i feel like I just want someone to tell me what to do! But in the meantime, any advice or relatable experiences would be so so appreciated.

Guest_43570404 Confused about my own feelings
  • replies: 3

I am in a 2 year long term relationship with my partner and I love them so incredibly much, however I have the urge to kiss other people?? I don't want to date other people, I only want my partner but I feel the urge to kiss and hold onto other peopl... View more

I am in a 2 year long term relationship with my partner and I love them so incredibly much, however I have the urge to kiss other people?? I don't want to date other people, I only want my partner but I feel the urge to kiss and hold onto other people romantically and platonically. But I don't want to break up with my partner,they're my end game, I'm 100% sure of it. Could I be polyamorous? Or do I need to take a break from my partner and explore the world a bit and then come back to them? I haven't told them about these feelings yet because I'm scared they will freak out and I don't want to upset them. They're okay with me kissing my friends, I do this platonically though, I hug and lightly peck my friends all the time but it's no the same... It doesn't satisfy my needs. I want to experience something new but I don't want a new partner... I'm really confused and I need some advice.

Lijah My Gfs mum betrayed my trust
  • replies: 2

So a few months ago, I told my gfs mum that I had been a victim of CSA. I have never been vulnerable with anyone except my previous gfs and I decided to be vulnerable with her. She then went on to tell everyone in her family. Which really disheartene... View more

So a few months ago, I told my gfs mum that I had been a victim of CSA. I have never been vulnerable with anyone except my previous gfs and I decided to be vulnerable with her. She then went on to tell everyone in her family. Which really disheartened me. Then a few weeks go by and my gfs mum then says to my gf which she tells me(she has a son to another person just for clarification and I love him to bits). She says that her mum told her not to leave her son alone with me at all. Now I have never and will never do anything to anyone. But when she told me that her mum said this; I broke down crying for the whole night and for the rest of the week and even now I feel so angry and depressed that someone could say this about me. And also to be vulnerable with someone and for them to say that about me just broke me to bits. I’m so confused as to where to go with the relationship as I love her and she loves me but I just don’t know how to move past that.

Gj-1974 Not coping
  • replies: 4

Hi l went through a nasty divorce and separation in late 2023 my ex wife controlled and abused Mr for years and l haven't seen my kids for 2 years l tried to follow my younger daughter on instagram but was rejected and me oldest daughter has got marr... View more

Hi l went through a nasty divorce and separation in late 2023 my ex wife controlled and abused Mr for years and l haven't seen my kids for 2 years l tried to follow my younger daughter on instagram but was rejected and me oldest daughter has got married l wasn't told. It's burning me up, especially coming up to fathers day. Help

Sunny0945 Workplace Fling Causing Anxiety, Guilt, Regret, Shame
  • replies: 5

This is hard for me to post....well I guess here it goes.I guess I’ll start off by saying I was and still am single. I've been struggling with this for a while, approx. 2-3 years ago my boss who has a partner and I had a fling. we worked on a project... View more

This is hard for me to post....well I guess here it goes.I guess I’ll start off by saying I was and still am single. I've been struggling with this for a while, approx. 2-3 years ago my boss who has a partner and I had a fling. we worked on a project together became close and started to flirt in person and over work messenger. We were smsing each other out of business hours Aswell. She asked me to delete the messages we sent each other during business hours. As things started progressing, she said things to me like "you make me smile every time I walk past your desk" and when I questioned her she said “I don’t know” and put an blushing emojis on. I went on by saying "tell me” and she said you make me nervous... and then things progressed again.... we started sexting each other and sending intimate audio messages to each other...despite my gut feeling was not to..I beat myself up for not stopping this here...I feel like a scumbag and blame myself. As things went on, I told her I like her...to which her response was as a "friend right?" and "you get attached to easily". I said “what have we been doing then? you have basically cheated on your partner”. Her partner looked through her phone and saw my message and accused her of cheating. Ever since then things have been awkward at work. For a while she wouldn’t even look in my direction and would completely ignore me (even for work related things). Eventually things came kind of good and would at least talk to me for work stuff and a little bit personal but then for some reason would go cold again and ignore me. This has been happening for a long time. I don’t know what she told her partner about what happened but I suspect it wasn’t the truth.Recently I’ve come to realise I’ve bottled this up for years and never talked to anyone about it. Which brings me to last couple of months where she started trying to be playful with me again and I’ve cut it off for the most part. Unfortunately, there have been a couple of occasions where we’ve gone out as a team and she made a joke at my expense and I ended up blushing. Now I’ve been getting weird looks from people in my team and I feel like they know. Any advice is much appreciated.

FluffyPotato I’m lonely and never been in a relationship
  • replies: 3

I’m 26 and gay, I’ve tried and tried to find someone to spend my life with but every attempt is met with pushbacks or me getting hurt apparently I’m too nice to date, I have one best friend and she’s been in a relationship for awhile now every time I... View more

I’m 26 and gay, I’ve tried and tried to find someone to spend my life with but every attempt is met with pushbacks or me getting hurt apparently I’m too nice to date, I have one best friend and she’s been in a relationship for awhile now every time I see her I feel like I’m not progressing in life especially when she talks about her partner. I always try to talk to her about how hard it is to find someone and I’m always met with “you have to love yourself”I'm a really shy guy and not outspoken at all I feel like that is what is holding me back so I’ve been trying to get help (anti depressants & psychologist) I’ve been on antidepressants for a very long time as I was bullied at lot in school for being gayim not sure what to do because I’ve never been the confident guy and I feel like that is not who I am but I fear that is what everyone get turned off by I need some advice I’ve tried clubbing, dating apps, just waiting for someone to come along but none of it has worked I’m not the hookup guy I generally like to get to know someone because personality comes first before anything else I’m sorry for the spelling mistakes I’ve been good at writing