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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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S1lver I feel like I am going insane
  • replies: 3

I feel like I am losing my mind. My girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me around 2 months ago. Although I thought I was dealing with the breakup well, I have come to find out that I am not. Originally we broke up due to the fact that we we... View more

I feel like I am losing my mind. My girlfriend of a year and a half broke up with me around 2 months ago. Although I thought I was dealing with the breakup well, I have come to find out that I am not. Originally we broke up due to the fact that we were long distance for half of the year due to university, as well as my attitude and actions towards the end of the relationship. Mainly lying about drug usage. A week ago I contacted my ex to see if she was interested in catching up before I once again move away. I thought this could be a chance to explain how I felt during the relationship, and a way to apologise for the pain I caused her. After walking around for about 2 hours, we shared a couple of laughs, as well as talked about my behaviour in the relationship, and I apologised. Late last night, after said catch up, I spiraled. I have struggled with Anxiety and Depression for years so something like this after a large emotional activity is expected. What I did not expect to do was what I did today. I woke up around 6:15am, and since then have sent multiple messages apologising and sounding like an absolutely insane individual. I have finally calmed down after this, mainly due to working today. But I cant help feel like what I did today, not only shows me that I havent moved on, but that I have made our friendship worse than it already was. I am aware that I am completely in the wrong in this situation, but I feel extremely depressed and anxious. Over the past 8 hours I have gone through stages of derealisation, and I have tried to gather myself, but have been unable to. I know I sound like the greatest douchebag, and I agree. But I just wish that she would hear me out. All this post relationship stress has mainly been due to the fact that I havent been able to voice any of the things that I disliked about the relationship. I genuinely feel like such a creep, and I feel like at this point I am genuinely going insane. Advice is much more than welcome, Im curious if other people have shared a similar experience, and how they were able to / did deal with it.

Anonymous79 I don’t know where to go from here
  • replies: 3

Two weeks ago I found comments my husband had made online on women’s profiles on instagram. I’m struggling to get over it. I confronted him straight away at first he denied it but when I again confronted him with the proof he said yes that was porn I... View more

Two weeks ago I found comments my husband had made online on women’s profiles on instagram. I’m struggling to get over it. I confronted him straight away at first he denied it but when I again confronted him with the proof he said yes that was porn I was commenting on… now here’s where I am totally struggling.. we have been together for nearly 30 yrs he’s never been the type to give compliments and I accepted that as that who I thought he was, he says he shows love in touching hugs sex ect… I accepted that as that’s who I thought he was but when I read these comments they are all complimentary….. and even asfar as yeah I’m available yes I’d have a go at that. Or you look great don’t be so hard on yourself … some of these comments go back 3 years and god knows what else has gone on… I really don’t mind that he watches porn but it’s the comments and positive comments that I can’t get past…as he’s never said that to me I think he’s said I’m beautiful once… I get a I’m proud of you every now and then but not much else… he has admitted to a porn addiction and has deleted his account he says he loves me but has not felt wanted or desired in a long time … well 3 years ago we to my knowledge were getting along great we were on a big fitness journey together and I was at my skinniest and happiest I’d been in years and our sex life was going great an I mean great !! it has never been a problem. I agree we have drifted apart connection wise in the past 6 months but I put it down to he has had major surgery and that takes a toll on everything I accept I’m half to blame for this distance, now he’s recovered I was hoping it would pick back up but nothing I tried worked… we have been through so much together months of being separated due to deployments his mental health issues due to his career ( he’s retired now)Some of the women he has commented on were larger and looked very different to what he would comment to me to look wear or do and I happily do “ you should wear more of these underwear or when are you getting your hair done again ( my grey roots are showing) or can you shave down for sex tonight please.. … He was my world and I loved him more that anything but this has totally shaken me to the core.. I can’t get it out of my head and still a week later after discussing it all and agreeing that we want to stay in the marriage and again fantastic sex he can’t give me a compliment.. for example I have obviously been struggling I’ve even said I’m having some really hard mental health days and forced myself to go to the gym as I myself have been recovering from an injury and when I rang and did the usual I’m on my way home chat and he asked how I went I said really well I’ve done my first upper body work out since my injury. His response oh you’re going to be sore tomorrow and laughs …. I asked him you know it would be nice to hear you say I’m proud of you babe well done, he got defensive and said of course I’m proud how could you not know that…. After the last two weeks how could I possibly know that anymore my self confidence and my heart are just shattered…. My brain can’t stop thinking about those comments and why can’t he say them to me…. I’m just so down and he hardly notices… stilltouches and hugs me more like he used too but that’s it, I really think he thinks it’s all over and we are good but I just can’t move past it… Anyway if you have read this far thank you maybe it will get better one day.. who knows anymore.

mikotheawesome My mum's side of my immediate family is pushing me to suicide
  • replies: 8

Basically, this morning my mother asked me if I wanted to go to the beach for Christmas Eve and I said no, because I wasn't in the mood. Then she proceeded to give me the silent treatment and gaslight me into believing she DIDNT do that and I'm the e... View more

Basically, this morning my mother asked me if I wanted to go to the beach for Christmas Eve and I said no, because I wasn't in the mood. Then she proceeded to give me the silent treatment and gaslight me into believing she DIDNT do that and I'm the evil one. Then my step-dad came down and borderline yelled at me to clean my room even though it's already clean and the are just little by little pushing me to the edge and I'll either snap or kms and I don't know what to do. I'm 13 and I don't know if I can deal with this for another 5 years. My mother and father are divorced but I can't stay with my dad due to his demanding job in the city. I really don't know what to do. Im having urges that im worried about. Can anyone help?

Akitagirl leaving my marriage tomorrow
  • replies: 4

Hi All,tomorrow I am moving out of our home (rental) and away from my abusive husband. He is currently away and comes back in 2 days. I have to be gone. over the past 2 1/2 weeks that he has been away I have made plans, packed up and organised my lif... View more

Hi All,tomorrow I am moving out of our home (rental) and away from my abusive husband. He is currently away and comes back in 2 days. I have to be gone. over the past 2 1/2 weeks that he has been away I have made plans, packed up and organised my life for the next 6 months. while I know I have to leave because of the abuse, I wasn't prepared for the grief and trauma that I am now experiencing. it seems I discover new information everyday which knocks me back down again. today I spoke to my mother and she told me the first time she met him, every time she looked at him, he was staring at her and it made her feel like he was studying her, it gave her the creeps. knowing what I have discovered about narcissists, it's quite likely that her instincts were correct. it made me feel physically sick that something so innocent as meeting my parents could have such a dark and sinister undertone. this man has lied to me from day 1. our entire marriage was a complete lie. not only have I suffered cruel and degrading abuse, when I realised the marriage wasn't real I experienced a whole new trauma. I am so afraid of the future, so sick to the stomach and I just dont know how I am supposed to heal from this.

clarinervium I'm in mental hospital, my husband wants a divorce
  • replies: 28

I've had severe mental health problems since last year. I had a breakdown end of March 2024 and haven't been able to work since then. I did try to return to work, but work triggered a relapse in my mental illness. Then I had treatment that felt like ... View more

I've had severe mental health problems since last year. I had a breakdown end of March 2024 and haven't been able to work since then. I did try to return to work, but work triggered a relapse in my mental illness. Then I had treatment that felt like it was really helping... only for my role to be made redundant a few weeks later. So I guess you could say, it's been really hard the past year... and before that when I was severely depressed but didn't realise it. I'm currently in mental hospital for another round of treatment. My husband just came to visit me and I was very excited... but then it turned out he wanted to have a serious talk with me because he wants a divorce. I'm in shock. I feel betrayed. I have finally found a treatment that helps me and I was looking forward to being healthier this year. I don't understand why he would say this now... He says he's burnt out (and I totally understand and empathise with that) but I am panicking because he's gone straight to divorce. He's said that I've said a lot of times that he would be better off without me or that maybe he should leave me for someone who isn't depressed... and I know that was wrong of me to do that. I'm just bewildered by what's going on. He says he still loves me and that losing me will feel like cutting off his arm. So, why? I have a fairly reasonable prognosis of getting better -- maybe not being able to do regular work again, but at least having better mental health. I would love any insights from people. I'm just looking for hope right now (and trying not to feel like I'm somehow very very cursed)

Bluepandaaa My Mum
  • replies: 2

I don't know if my mum is going through a rough patch at the moment or something but she keeps saying things and I don't know if she truly means them or not. She constantly calls me lazy and useless and has told me on multiple occasions that if she c... View more

I don't know if my mum is going through a rough patch at the moment or something but she keeps saying things and I don't know if she truly means them or not. She constantly calls me lazy and useless and has told me on multiple occasions that if she could go back in time she wouldn't have me, she also sometimes just refuses to take care of us by getting us dinner or the things we need for school if we have done something to annoy her but she refuses to tell us what we have done and just says she doesn't want to be our parent anymore. She also doesn't defend us to our Father as he told me once that my ex boyfriend leaving me on read for days at a time meant that I obviously wasn't worth it and that he couldn't blame him. She also threatens my younger sibling with the fact that 'She wouldn't wanna turn out like her older sibling right?' Another thing she has done is purposely went out and bought my favourite food and cooked it but told me I hadn't done anything to deserve it. Anyway that's only kind of scratching the surface of what she's like.Any ideas on what to do?

Guest_39109902 Husband speaking to other women online
  • replies: 3

Hello,I am married and have 2 kids and am pregnant with my 3rd right now. A few months back my husband brought up the conversation about our sex life and his doubts he has with me like him thinking that I dont want to have sex with him or thinking th... View more

Hello,I am married and have 2 kids and am pregnant with my 3rd right now. A few months back my husband brought up the conversation about our sex life and his doubts he has with me like him thinking that I dont want to have sex with him or thinking that I dont love him or even me cheating on him which none of the above is true. I just think I do have a lower sex drive than him and in general I've never had a high libido. We have had many conversations about the sex topic but we keep going around in circles. Basically now he never initiates or is affectionate. I am trying to clear everything going on in my head and pay more attention to him and I feel like I am putting in the best effort to show my love to my husband but it seems like it is not enough for his standards. I dont usually have high standards in general and I am a simple person and for him to tell me my efforts with our sex life is basically non existent hurts me and I'm not sure what to do. I also found out he has signed on to dating apps to talk with girls it seems like but because his 1st language isn't English he is talking to these girls in his native language because he set his location to his home town. I am not sure what they have been talking about but this hurts me tremendously and I was not expecting to find out that he'd be talking to other women. I guess I'm asking for advice or support during this time as I dont have any friends here and it can be lonely not being able to vent or talk to someone about this stuff.

Syringe FRIENDSHIP HELPPP
  • replies: 1

Hi I'm in highschool and need help. My friend lets say Friend A has been dropped by EVERYONE from her school (diff schools) and she vented to me how everyone thinks she did bad things but she didn't, I was supporting her and helping her along the way... View more

Hi I'm in highschool and need help. My friend lets say Friend A has been dropped by EVERYONE from her school (diff schools) and she vented to me how everyone thinks she did bad things but she didn't, I was supporting her and helping her along the way UNTIL I heard that she leaked a photo of a girls (self harm) and another girl half naked in the changing room. WHAT. But I was confused. Friend A would never do that, she helped many people out of sucicide so why would she do that? Due to my personal reason I am changing schools and going to her school, she said she is transferring and not meant in a bad way but I want her to. shes getting bashed up everyday and we live like 5 hours away and totally diff schedules. also I feel bad. I really want my friends I have now, and my friend I have been with since kindy, but they all hate her I don't want to dump her because she has been there (sometimes if im being honest). I'm trying not to believe them but its getting to a point where its getting every convincing. If I move to her school while she is still there, I will get in more drama when I transferred for a reason. I was thinking to maybe just talk to her and everyone and be on good terms with everyone. but if that doesnt work what will... please help me. I can't get in more drama. I already suffered from depression, anxiety from school, stress, friends and drama. I'm begging. please dont skip this.

Firefly So LOST and confused
  • replies: 2

I have been married for 18 months, and with my husband for 7 years.8 weeks ago, he came home from work like any other day and says "I need to talk to you about something and its going to hurt".Immediately my heart drooped and I felt sick! He said I'v... View more

I have been married for 18 months, and with my husband for 7 years.8 weeks ago, he came home from work like any other day and says "I need to talk to you about something and its going to hurt".Immediately my heart drooped and I felt sick! He said I've been talking to my 1st girlfriend (from 30 years ago when they were teenagers) and there's a spiritual connection and its real. She's my twin flame, I need to go and see her! Mind you she lives in another state, and of course my reaction was WTF we're married, have you lost your mind?I basically told him to leave the house and he did drive 8 hours to see her that weekend. Early the next week he comes home after work like everything is normal, so thinking he's going to stay in the house with me, and tells me he's moving in with her in the New Year! I said you need to get all of your stuff out by the end of the week. Which he did and we havent had ANY contact since. That was 8 weeks ago. He said I can keep the house, he thinks its as easy as signing a piece of paper and told me I didn't need a lawyer. Turns out it is not that easy, I have to get the mortgage refinanced into my name, thats a whole other kettle of fish. I am a mess, crying all day, everyday, I don't understand how this happened.Is it just me or is this absolutely absurd? He's living in a fantasy! There were no signs or red flags, he was literally telling our mutual friends 2 weeks prior how much he loves and adores me. This has broken me. Has anyone had a similar thing happen, can anyone shed some light? Am I crazy?

Sheena Alcohol & depression has damaged our relationship, I can’t live with him but don’t want to lose him
  • replies: 6

Hi, my partner hasn’t worked for 3 years after a heart attack and he went into deep depression and drinking every day to excess. I’ve financially supported us, got my son through VCE and supported his daughter living with us for a year. He goes to th... View more

Hi, my partner hasn’t worked for 3 years after a heart attack and he went into deep depression and drinking every day to excess. I’ve financially supported us, got my son through VCE and supported his daughter living with us for a year. He goes to the pub every day and smokes a packet of cigarettes a day. At first I was thinking just needed time but things got worse and worse. He’s refused to come to social tho gs, family events, anything with my friends. He only leaves the house to go to the pub. The only thing we do is watch tv together. We sleep in seperate rooms now for nearly 18 months and no intimacy for over 2 years. I have said I can’t live with it anymore. My son has already moved out and my partners daughter moved back overseas. I feel guilty to leave him, I love him and I know he loves me more than anyone ever has. But I can’t live with the alcohol and the expectation that I will just keep financially supporting everything. I now have depression again and such awful anxiety. I think if we live separately we’d be happier and could work on our troubles, but I don’t know if it’s possible. I love him but can’t live with him and I’ve lost respect. I’m feeling resentful and disappointed and so sad. And I feel guilt to want to be separate like I’m letting him down. I’m so torn. Can I work through this? How much do you accept and try to fix before you just have to say it’s not salvageable?

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