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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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booga feeling suffocated in a friendship
  • replies: 2

every time i make friends, at some point in the relationship theres always a point where they have a bunch of issues and they just vent it out onto me every single time, be it just talking about their problems or taking it out on me. and every single... View more

every time i make friends, at some point in the relationship theres always a point where they have a bunch of issues and they just vent it out onto me every single time, be it just talking about their problems or taking it out on me. and every single time, i just can't deal with it. i'm not good at comforting people who are upset, nor do i like having someone's pain being taken out on me. this time around, my friend is just talking about their issues a lot, and i know they need an outlet and that its okay to be sad, but it feels like theyre always sad, always talking about their problems, and when they aren't, it feels like i have to walk on eggshells with my words, because one wrong word and itll upset them. today we had plans to hang out, but then they had to do something with family, and so i was offered to go out of town with my dad, so i accepted, but right as i left, they told me they just finished the movie, and we couldn't hang out. it feels like every second of every day i am just waiting to do something with them, and then when its night time (when my creative juices are flowing, as said in my previous post) i cant even stay up because they want me to go to bed just for a chance to us to spend time together. it feels like i never have time to do things for myself, time to draw for myself, or anything. theyre not as mean as im making them out to be btw, its just. ive dealt with terrible people in the past and those experiences make me feel like i have to be the perfect friend or just the friend that always says yes. im so sick of it. i just want time to myself to do my own things and indulge in my own interests but i also dont want to lose my friendship with them but i also want to stop worrying about them all the time.

Guest_55050864 My friend is driving me crazy and I don’t know what to do
  • replies: 2

I have a friend (let’s call him John) that as of recent had been getting on my nerves a lot more than he usually does. this all started when I was in a very toxic relationship with 2 people. They did not treat me well and John knew about this. After ... View more

I have a friend (let’s call him John) that as of recent had been getting on my nerves a lot more than he usually does. this all started when I was in a very toxic relationship with 2 people. They did not treat me well and John knew about this. After we broke up, John got closer to them even after I had warned him about them and he had seen what type of people they were before they got close, so he knew what he was getting into. Knowing all of this, he still got closer with both of my exes and was obviously hurt by them. Which, if you ask me was entirely his fault. I’m not going to say specifically what happened, but both of them were dating and displayed too much affection around him to the point where he now has trauma with relationships. Keep in mind he knew that they did this before he got close to them. But now, he’s taken his bad experiences with these guys and made it everybody else’s problem. You’re not allowed to even mention relationships around him or he’ll get pissy. Relationships are a part of life and he doesn’t understand that. It’s gotten so bad, that when i announced I had a boyfriend to my friend group, not even 5 minutes later he messaged me saying he was going to hang out with the group less because of the fact we were dating. He’s making my own relationship about him, and I know if I try to speak to him about it it’s just going to end up with him mad and us in an argument. I’m starting to dread being around him, because on top of that, everything upsets him so it’s like walking on eggshells around him. What could I possibly do to stop all of this?

lxlliipop gettibg help
  • replies: 2

hello! im lollipop and i really struggle with opening up. These recent weeks i believe ive built up too much pressure and stress on myself and it's been feeling foggy and numb (only when im alone but otherwise happy). I dont know how to reach out for... View more

hello! im lollipop and i really struggle with opening up. These recent weeks i believe ive built up too much pressure and stress on myself and it's been feeling foggy and numb (only when im alone but otherwise happy). I dont know how to reach out for help, i worry that it'll crush my friends to know that i'm struggling and i hate the attention of it as well. All the people i feel comfortable enough to reach out to have their own problems that i know of as they have come to me for help and comfort. Ive managed to actually send messages to my friends but i always end up deleting them and making an excuse for pings. Genuinely how do i get myself to open up to others without feeling disgusted?

CaringDad Struggling with conflict at home and trying to hold myself together as a dad
  • replies: 2

I’m a dad of two young children and I feel like I’m reaching a breaking point emotionally. Things at home between my wife and I have deteriorated badly over the past months and especially recently. There is a lot of tension, criticism, hostility and ... View more

I’m a dad of two young children and I feel like I’m reaching a breaking point emotionally. Things at home between my wife and I have deteriorated badly over the past months and especially recently. There is a lot of tension, criticism, hostility and verbal conflict. We barely communicate normally anymore unless it’s about the children or practical things.I feel constantly on edge in my own home. I try very hard to avoid arguments and de-escalate things, but even small interactions seem to become tense. I often feel criticised, dismissed or provoked, and when things escalate I end up emotionally overwhelmed and anxious. Recently I’ve been experiencing panic attacks, anxiety, racing thoughts at night and inability to sleep properly. Some nights I wake up at 3 or 4am and cannot get back to sleep.The hardest part is that I genuinely care deeply about my children and being a good father. I look after them every day, help with routines, daycare, meals, baths, bedtime, and I love them more than anything. My biggest fear right now is the idea of separation and somehow losing meaningful time with them or the stability of family life.At the same time, I know the current environment is unhealthy and emotionally exhausting for everyone. I’m trying to function normally, continue working, care for the kids, and keep myself calm, but internally I feel very broken down and emotionally drained.I often times feel successful at work and momentarily proud and confident again. But coming home to conflict and emotional distance has made the contrast really hard mentally.I’ve started reaching out for support, including legal advice and now posting here because I think I need help navigating this in a healthier way. I don’t want constant fighting. I don’t want my children growing up around tension and resentment but don't want to be forced to be away from them. I also don’t want to lose myself emotionally.I guess I’m posting because I feel isolated and overwhelmed, and I’m wondering if anyone else has gone through something similar and how they managed to cope emotionally while still showing up as a parent.Thanks for reading

booga having some friend issues
  • replies: 2

i have a friend who lives on the opposite side of the world from me, and so we can only spend time together at certain intervals (usually from 8 am to 2 pm) since i've turned 18, i no longer have a bedtime and have been staying up super late, causing... View more

i have a friend who lives on the opposite side of the world from me, and so we can only spend time together at certain intervals (usually from 8 am to 2 pm) since i've turned 18, i no longer have a bedtime and have been staying up super late, causing me to sleep in until 2 pm, which is when they usually go offline. they told me they feel bad about it and miss spending time with me, and i do too i feel really guilty about it, but staying up late feels almost cathartic to me because my mum used to be so strict about my bedtime that she'd always say stuff like "you're just looking for excuses to stay out of bed". my creativity comes to me most when its late, and when im in bed for too long and im not tired, i start overthinking things. i like to stay up late because it makes me feel like i am my own person choosing my own activities, but i feel bad about my friend because we cant spend much time together because of it. i just dont know what to do, i dont want this to ruin our friendship

Shar12345 I've reached my limit
  • replies: 2

I can do it anymore. I'm at single mum with a 16 yr old daughter at home and a 21 yr old that live with his dad.I work full-time and pick up any extra work I can. I'm going through divorce and financial separation.Mortgage, car issues, solicitors bil... View more

I can do it anymore. I'm at single mum with a 16 yr old daughter at home and a 21 yr old that live with his dad.I work full-time and pick up any extra work I can. I'm going through divorce and financial separation.Mortgage, car issues, solicitors bills blah blah. I'm burnt out.Today my daughter tells me she's been thinking out suicide. She tried last year. I've tried to get her help but she just won't take it. I don't know what to do anymore.I want her father to come get her but that will do absolutely nothing for her mental health.I can't do this anymore.

imdone Feeling helpless
  • replies: 9

I am a 52 year old women, married for 25 years. I'm going through peri menopause and it's really messing with me. Besides that, my husband, who I love very much, has just retired and thinks that gives him the green light to drink everyday, gamble and... View more

I am a 52 year old women, married for 25 years. I'm going through peri menopause and it's really messing with me. Besides that, my husband, who I love very much, has just retired and thinks that gives him the green light to drink everyday, gamble and now has taken to also smoking pot every night. It's medical pot, but whatever. I've tried to tell him how I feel about his drinking etc.. but he claims that he's doing nothing wrong. For context we have had major struggles our whole marriage with his drinking and gambling. I'm at a loss, I'm so unhappy at the moment, I feel deflated, everytime I mention anything it's a huge fight. I really don't know what to do, I feel so depressed.

Guest_07328851 Is this a normal situation and what’s right?
  • replies: 3

During wedding planning, there is both a pre-wedding/layliyeh/kina and the wedding. Of course there will be gifts at these events and usually it’s money in an envelope. Story: One of the couples mothers requests that she collects and takes the envelo... View more

During wedding planning, there is both a pre-wedding/layliyeh/kina and the wedding. Of course there will be gifts at these events and usually it’s money in an envelope. Story: One of the couples mothers requests that she collects and takes the envelopes for BOTH events, so the NEXT day the bride, groom and herself go through the envelope so she can ascertain who paid what to return any favours and see family friends input. The bride AND the groom, say they should take the envelopes and go through it together, and make a list of the names and what they gifted and provide it to the mother so she knows. It was insisted there is no need for that, and that they can go through them together the next day or upon return from the honey moon. Is this a matter for the bride and groom? Or is it a normal and/or cultural thing for the mother to do and request this. Should the bride and groom accept this. Look forward to your answers.

Mar777 Sexless relationship
  • replies: 4

We’ve been together for almost 9 years. He’s never been sex driven and at some point I stop trying as the rejection kept hurting my self esteem. It’s been more than 3 years without sex now. I’ve tried to talk about it and find a way to help but he re... View more

We’ve been together for almost 9 years. He’s never been sex driven and at some point I stop trying as the rejection kept hurting my self esteem. It’s been more than 3 years without sex now. I’ve tried to talk about it and find a way to help but he refuses to talk, he probably feels embarrassed. I have not had much experience in sex and I’m not very active myself but I would like to at least have sex once a month. I do love my partner (now fiancé) and our relationship is great apart from having zero sex. I do not want to make a decision based just on sex as it’s not the most important aspect for me but I do feel like I’m missing that part in my life. I’ve never been unfaithful because I’m too loyal or perhaps hasn’t had the opportunity. Sometimes I wish to meet someone that makes me feel desired. I would like to connect with someone in the same situation

Iamsky I don't know what to do about it
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I'm 12, in highschool and autistic. Same with my friend group. Yesterday two of my friends (Jacob and tanner) were fighting so I send them a long message and then left all group chats with them. This is the message: "And then you realise... View more

Hi everyone, I'm 12, in highschool and autistic. Same with my friend group. Yesterday two of my friends (Jacob and tanner) were fighting so I send them a long message and then left all group chats with them. This is the message: "And then you realise your lonely and Jacob was one of the only friends you had and regret it and become friends again. And then a month later you fight and this goes on forever and I always get caught in the middle as the therapist because I want to keep friends through high school and I fix your friendship with Jacob so often I'm ready to add it to my Callender to fix it. It honestly adds more to the weight I carry, trying to find a personality that everyone likes so that I can have friends and yk not be lonely and follow my high school plan that I made during the summer Hollidays this year. I am honestly getting tired of your stuff and I am honestly I am losing my give a stuffs and becoming someone I like but others don't know. Frick I don't even know what I like about myself anymore and honestly? I don't even know if anyone likes me so I'm always trying to read facial expressions but that's hard because I can't read people as easy as I read a book. So honestly? I might change everything about myself to be what I'm expected to be even though it'll depress me even more. You guys are best friends for 3 weeks and then it's a fight where you both come to me for advice and I honestly DONT GIVE A FRICKING STUFF ANYMORE." One of my other friends (still in primary school, doesn't know Jacob and tanner) replied with this when I sent her what I sent Jacob and tanner "Holy stuff, I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself if it was that bad and you've been botteling it up for that long then it's time you snapped. You did the right thing" I'm sorry for wasting your time on my stupid friendship drama but I just needed to get this out. Sorry -Sky

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