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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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ashley___ Scared
  • replies: 1

So I have been thinking about wanting to do game art/design for the past two years now, however i havent told my parents about it yet because im scared. im scared of how theyll react, im scared that they wont support or at least accept me for this. b... View more

So I have been thinking about wanting to do game art/design for the past two years now, however i havent told my parents about it yet because im scared. im scared of how theyll react, im scared that they wont support or at least accept me for this. but ive told everyone else (all of my friends, even my favourite teacher) about wanting to do this and they all support and encourage me. but what if i dont get the same from my parents? im not really open with them too so this is really scary for me.I just used to lie to them about not knowing what uni course i want to take, but lately ive been lying/telling them that im thinking about doing an art related course, but again they keep talking about demand, which is just making me more afraid to tell them as im not sure if game artists are even in demand. i feel so bad as im able to tell the truth to everyone else so easily, however when it comes to my own parents ive just been lying.I know they are just worried about my future and i know i have to tell them eventually, but my fear is stopping me and i dont know what to do anymore.

CaneNero Labelled as toxic and emotional
  • replies: 2

Hello. Will try to summarise. Thank you. I'm 42f my sister 43f. 2016, my sister went no contact with family and me. Difficult not knowing if she's okay, why she left me. Background: I idolised her growing up, but she was this "unattainable" friend be... View more

Hello. Will try to summarise. Thank you. I'm 42f my sister 43f. 2016, my sister went no contact with family and me. Difficult not knowing if she's okay, why she left me. Background: I idolised her growing up, but she was this "unattainable" friend because of her mental health issues. Would barely speak to me. I would knock, ask if she wanted to spend time together: Always rejected turned away. I never knew her because she was unwell. Caused me to grow up feeling unloved and "not good enough." Parents were also neglectful towards us. My sister and I tried living together just us in 2016. I thought living together would be great, I was so happy. I had given excuses for her neglect, always accepted her. "It's just her health, it's not me. She has problems, that's ok" - But after decades of this - I wanted things to change. I wanted to know her, and for her to know me. 2016, first six months of living together she neglected me, the usual. One day I felt upset, I thought maybe she would listen and be there for me at least. The first long conversation we had seemed great. Like we made progress, discussed some of our past. She was contributing and sharing about her life. I felt like she cared about me and us. Finally. Later I tried going to her again for a supportive conversation. She said she's tired, couldn't talk - but this is what she said 99% of the time. This time I didn't accept it. For once in my life I said "No... Come and talk with me. I need to talk." She seemed tired but talked, contributing her stuff and listened to mine. 3.5 hours passed. I was happy. I saw it as putting my needs first and progress to help both of us. So this was the second long conversation we had in 2016. The next morning she was gone. Gone without a word and I did not hear anything until 2024. 8 years no contact. I was devastated - it greatly affected my well-being. Made me unwell mentally. She never said a word to anyone in 8 years. No explanation. Years of wondering if she's ok/alive, what I have done to deserve this pain. She replied to one of my emails only once in 2024. The reply has broken me. I don't know what to do. Told me I was too emotional, toxic. But I only wanted her to care about me. I put my foot down for her to show she cared and to come talk to me, I need her - but she left the next day. I had over-stepped her boundaries. How can I feel ok about this? I never got the love I needed from my parents and my sister. All three of them don't want me even now.

Lauren57r Loosing myself
  • replies: 1

Feeling completely lost and have no idea how to deal with it. How do I move forward to care for myself 2025 lost my grandmother 6 weeks before my wedding. Wedding never felt the same. Since the wedding family has been blaming each other and won't sup... View more

Feeling completely lost and have no idea how to deal with it. How do I move forward to care for myself 2025 lost my grandmother 6 weeks before my wedding. Wedding never felt the same. Since the wedding family has been blaming each other and won't support each other and it also feels like they have turned their backs on me. I feel like im not only grieving my grandmother but the life I also knew and its affecting the life im trying to create with my husband but I worried I'm loosing myself and don't know what to do as its also affecting my work and friendships How have others got through this?

AIshel Ended my relationship and I'm so heartbroken...
  • replies: 2

A week ago I ended my 6+ year relationship. We were a blended family, with so many things against us from the beginning. External issues but also problems between the two of us. While I know it's for the best, this hurts like nothing I've ever felt. ... View more

A week ago I ended my 6+ year relationship. We were a blended family, with so many things against us from the beginning. External issues but also problems between the two of us. While I know it's for the best, this hurts like nothing I've ever felt. I didn't cry when I ended my 13 year marriage years ago. But this? This is truly testing my strength and resilience. I've gone through so much in my life but my heart aches and I can't stop crying to the point I can't breathe. I'm trying to stay strong but I often breakdown. I know it's still fresh but I've never ended a relationship where we both still love each other deeply. Sometimes love isn't enough and I'm a 47 year old thinking this might break me...

IIEK Confused
  • replies: 7

I lost my husband January after 40 years. Since his funeral my stepdaughter hasn't spoken to me. She was there before he passed and his family helped me arrange the funeral. I have heard from the rest of the family except her. No explanations, nothin... View more

I lost my husband January after 40 years. Since his funeral my stepdaughter hasn't spoken to me. She was there before he passed and his family helped me arrange the funeral. I have heard from the rest of the family except her. No explanations, nothing. I thought we were close. They all live interstate. I am gradually going through my husband's things and will pass on things I know he wanted them to gave. But the loneliness and missing my husband and the total cut off by his daughter is something that consume me.I have tried reaching out but she doesn't respond and the rest of the family are pleading ignorance. If I had said or done something during that time I would rather hear about it. I know my head wasn't in a good place. ..but surely...just to be cut off like that?

Guest_10343 Feeling like a stranger in my own family lately
  • replies: 4

Hi everyone,I’ve been a lurker here for a while and finally felt brave enough to post. I’m struggling a bit with the dynamics in my family lately and wanted to see if anyone else has felt the same way.We see each other fairly often, but I’ve noticed ... View more

Hi everyone,I’ve been a lurker here for a while and finally felt brave enough to post. I’m struggling a bit with the dynamics in my family lately and wanted to see if anyone else has felt the same way.We see each other fairly often, but I’ve noticed that our conversations never seem to go below the surface. Whenever I try to be vulnerable or mention that I’ve been having a tough time with my mental health, the room goes quiet or someone quickly changes the subject back to work or what’s on TV.It leaves me feeling incredibly lonely, even when I'm sitting right there at the dinner table with them. I love them, but I feel like I’m only allowed to show the "happy" version of myself, and it’s becoming really exhausting to keep up the act.Has anyone else navigated this kind of emotional distance with their parents or siblings? How do you deal with family members who are "good people" but just don't seem to have the tools to handle the heavy stuff? I’m trying to figure out if I should keep pushing for a deeper connection or if I just need to accept that they might never be the support system I'm looking for.Thanks for listening. Sending strength to anyone else feeling a bit disconnected today.

gurindjiwoman I want a mum.
  • replies: 1

Hi I don't come on to these forums often. If I am being honest, I tend to forget that it exists. Anyway, I do not consider myself as having a biological mother (as far as I am concerned). I live with my biological mother, but I do not know who she is... View more

Hi I don't come on to these forums often. If I am being honest, I tend to forget that it exists. Anyway, I do not consider myself as having a biological mother (as far as I am concerned). I live with my biological mother, but I do not know who she is anymore. I have lost her to many years worth of chronic gambling and alcoholism. There are times where I look at my mother in the eyes after we have had a massive falling out. She tends to look lifeless and defeated. Our arguments often revolve around mundane matters. Whenever I have a genuine concern to share with her, or if there is something positive that I want to share with her, she does not listen, she becomes jealous (disguised as care/concern/protection), and she does not show any interest either. A good example of this is when I disclosed my feelings of attraction for an older man when I was younger. I was incredibly anxious about telling her this (I even had a bucket in case I was going to throw up), because he was someone I really liked and I did not have the confidence to ask him out on a date. She dismissed my feelings and told me to go back to sleep. She did not want, and still does not want to know about it. Even still to this day, when I try to explain to her what I was going through in my mind, she would tell me that she was never going to enable me and that she too lived through what I went through. Never in my life have I felt so invalidated by the woman who birthed me. I ultimately ended up in a psychiatric ward three times in the space of seven months over my bottled up feelings (which eventually came out as rage). I cannot express genuine frustration with her, because then she would bring up my medication with me and how taking every day will prevent me from being nasty to her (I do take it every day these days). I even recall that she wanted to put a GPS tracking system on my car so that she could track where I would go. I wish she was not my mother. I hate her with a passion. She has pushed me away, yet at the same time, I am a slave to her trauma bond. There is more that I could write. I am too emotionally drained to write anything else right now.

Guest_31156087 issues results to anxiety and heavy heart beats
  • replies: 2

Hi folks,I live in Melbourne, married for almost 10 years. from last 4-5 years there has been a lot of arguments with my wife. When ever i try to tell my problems to her. to she replies don't tell me your problems , if u have issues go to mental asyl... View more

Hi folks,I live in Melbourne, married for almost 10 years. from last 4-5 years there has been a lot of arguments with my wife. When ever i try to tell my problems to her. to she replies don't tell me your problems , if u have issues go to mental asylum. Every discussion ends up i am the only one who ruined every thing. Now i started feeling i am the only one who spoiled every thing.

Guest_55062854 Relationship troubles
  • replies: 6

Tonight at dinner with my partners family, I was sitting at the table talking and having fun with his sister and cousin, we had our phone out pretending to “vlog” so we were talking to the camera saying things like “it’s Easter 2026! Hello future us”... View more

Tonight at dinner with my partners family, I was sitting at the table talking and having fun with his sister and cousin, we had our phone out pretending to “vlog” so we were talking to the camera saying things like “it’s Easter 2026! Hello future us” just having honest fun. Then my boyfriend turns to me and tells me I’m being loud and disrespectful, I was like what? Everyone’s talking loud, everyone’s having fun the whole family has like 10 different conversations going on between each other how am I being disrespectful. He said I was being rude? His sister told him to relax because we weren’t even being that loud. I did however stop and kinda just go silent. In the car on the way back to his house, he asked me if I was upset and I said yes because he had told me off infront of everyone like he was my father, and he said “well exactly I shouldn’t have to act like your dad, you should just be respectful” and I was confused and questioned what I even did wrong, and he said I was being annoying and loud and obnoxious and that everyone’s too nice to say how annoying I am to my face. I started crying, because at this point I felt embarrassed, I messaged his sister asking if this was the case if I was actually being loud and she said no he’s just being dramatic and I shouldn’t worry because no one even cared what we were doing except for him. When I got to his house he told me I was acting like a high schooler crying and not seeing his point of view. I stormed out the house crying and drove back to my house. from an outside perspective do I have a right to be hurt over this? I expressed to him what he was saying was hurtful calling me annoying etc. as I was leaving the house he said “that’s what I thought” ? He’s honestly hurt my feelings so much and I don’t know what to do or where this even came from

Kenapela Complicated
  • replies: 8

Hello, I apologise for the long post upfront. I have several issues. My health is a major concern, and I'm not looking for sympathy, but it may be contributing to what's happening. I have birth defect, an inoperable AVM (abnormal entanglement of vein... View more

Hello, I apologise for the long post upfront. I have several issues. My health is a major concern, and I'm not looking for sympathy, but it may be contributing to what's happening. I have birth defect, an inoperable AVM (abnormal entanglement of veins) in my brainstem and am essentially a ticking time bomb. Discovered when I had a stroke last year at 62yrs, but fortunately no deficits. Now to the family issue.My mother passed away 3 years ago. My younger sister offered to care for our father but then felt railroaded by our older brother, who lived near our parents. My sister and I were very close, I thought beforehand. But the relationship deteriorated. She became resentful toward me and passive aggressively critical, over a period of 2 years while caring for Dad. I was not helping enough. Dad has now been placed in a nursing home. Not long after that her resentment grew and her husband was behaving odd as well. I ended up journaling the behaviour because if I mentioned that she said something that wasn't nice, we'd argue and she'd deny it. I started to see the recruitment of other family members. I felt I was pushed and pulled. While she was including me and being nice sometimes, she was also underhandly making me feel bad about Dad's care. I was starting to see she wasn't as nice as she seemed and was calling her out on it, at times. I used to be quiet not say anything just go with the flow. It came to a head at my niece's bridal shower, where she openly displayed her disapproval of me with her daughter there by a silent mocking gesture in my peripheral vision and further grumping over a gift I gave, which in hindsight, I think has made her feel inadequate. Yes, it was all very childish. I was humiliated, but stayed quiet, my niece was trying to hide it by standing in front. I never mentioned it until later and of course it was denied which screwed over my brain and still does. I involved my brother and he says he would have ignored it. He knows she's difficult but is sweeping it under the carpet. He suggested space. So, my sister and I are estranged now for 6 months. My brother came to visited everyone recently and it was all carefully separated so as to not hurt anyone. Basically, I'm getting the feeling I'm not believed by him and have caused drama, and that my sister has got what she wanted, me pushed aside and not having to be accountable for her behaviour. It's more than a sibling tiff to me. It's cruel, isolating, and I'm struggling to move on.

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