Support
Support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a conversation

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Categories
Start a conversation

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a conversation

Guest_63146717 Feeling like an insignificant wife
  • replies: 2

Today was typical of how my husband reacts when we clash on something. I want to talk about it. He walks out. Refuses to answer my calls. When he comes back like 5 hrs later and I confront him. HE Says..."I didnt want to talk to you. By walking away ... View more

Today was typical of how my husband reacts when we clash on something. I want to talk about it. He walks out. Refuses to answer my calls. When he comes back like 5 hrs later and I confront him. HE Says..."I didnt want to talk to you. By walking away I felt better" I said well Im glad it did. Cos it nade me feel worse. Since then he has come out to me once and stated how he felt. Not interested in how I feel. Not interested in talking about ir. Just about him. Then came out and said you okay? I quietly said yep....looked up and he was already gone. Im sitting on my own. Im exhausted. Im tired. Im over it all. Im over life in general. Life isnt meant to be this hard? I look up...and think...yep...I can see why some end it in that moment

Robbo87 Wife had a affair
  • replies: 3

My wife has had an affair with someone from her work and I have just found out yesterday. I am gutted we just bought a house together, she say she still loves me and wants to be with me and I think I still love her but how will I ever trust her again... View more

My wife has had an affair with someone from her work and I have just found out yesterday. I am gutted we just bought a house together, she say she still loves me and wants to be with me and I think I still love her but how will I ever trust her again how do I know she won’t do it again. We have 2 beautiful kids together should I just forgive her so my kids don’t have a broken family. I am so lost right now and don’t no how to function.

Lanson Wife had an affair but I still love her
  • replies: 14

Hey guys, Just wanted to see if anyone has experienced infidelity during their marriage and decide to stay with their wife. I caught my wife cheating six weeks ago and I still love her but I'm struggling to move forward as I still have images in my h... View more

Hey guys, Just wanted to see if anyone has experienced infidelity during their marriage and decide to stay with their wife. I caught my wife cheating six weeks ago and I still love her but I'm struggling to move forward as I still have images in my head of her and her lover. She developed an emotional and physical connection with him and it destroys me just thinking about it. She admitted that she loved him and that he was her best friend. But she also questioned herself if she knows the meaning of love. We've been married for nine years and have two kids. She has ended her affair and has committed to work on our marriage. She says she loves me more than ever and is being very affectionate and loving towards me. One day I feel ok, the next I feel depressed. I'm seeing counseling and it's helping a bit but I feel like I need to talk to someone who's experienced this to help me get through it. How do I stop these toxic images and thoughts and get back to normality? Or am I being dishonest to myself and making myself suffer depression? Any help is much appreciated.

chrisSA1985 Overthinker scared of ruining relationship.
  • replies: 1

I have recurring relationship anxiety. I repeatedly seek reassurance from my partner about things like emojis, messages, and signs of affection. The reassurance only lasts an hour or two before the doubts come back. I want help breaking that cycle

I have recurring relationship anxiety. I repeatedly seek reassurance from my partner about things like emojis, messages, and signs of affection. The reassurance only lasts an hour or two before the doubts come back. I want help breaking that cycle

Smurf123 Sexless Marriage
  • replies: 6

I don’t know how to start this. Never posted before and after reading a few conversations similar to my situation I’m thinking, maybe it’s not so bad… or is it more… I don’t want it to get that bad. my husband and I have been married for 10 years and... View more

I don’t know how to start this. Never posted before and after reading a few conversations similar to my situation I’m thinking, maybe it’s not so bad… or is it more… I don’t want it to get that bad. my husband and I have been married for 10 years and we’re only in our mid 30’s. Early on in our relationship I felt a little rejected because my husband had a lower libido and only wanted sex once or twice a week. I had never experienced this and always wanted more but I adjusted my expectations because I loved him. slowly but surely it became once or twice a fortnight, then once or twice a month. More recently, he struggled with keeping an erection up. So it became once every few months. we sought help from a marriage therapist and she sort of helped but he didn’t want to go after 3 sessions. things got slightly better but only for a short period of time. He knows how I feel and I’ve made it clear more than enough times to count. the reason I’m here is because this week just gone I once again made it clear I wanted sex and kind of teased around over a couple of days. Last night at the end of our alternating work week we finally had some time together but he got short and grumpy with our little one, huffed and puffed moping around (which is an instant turn off for me) and then said he has a sore stomach. I went to bed early and he acted shocked as to why. I cried for hours on and off throughout the night. I feel so rejected. I’ve lost weight for him. I’ve been training at the gym for a year and improved by figure. I wear lingerie for him and still nothing feels like it’s enough. I don’t know if I want my life to be like this. I envisioned my life to be filled with laughter, fun and wild sex. Maybe I shouldn’t have lowered my expectations early on. Maybe if we weren’t compatible there it never should have happened. It’s just so hard when you fall in love. I don’t know what I’m asking here. I think I just needed to vent.

Boymumma2026 Should I leave or stay?
  • replies: 2

Hi. I have been married for 15 years and together with my husband for 20, (I am 38yo). We have 2 sons together (8&10). At the start it was great. He was my first for everything and I looked up to him. We have the same background and that helped famil... View more

Hi. I have been married for 15 years and together with my husband for 20, (I am 38yo). We have 2 sons together (8&10). At the start it was great. He was my first for everything and I looked up to him. We have the same background and that helped family wise. I did everything he wanted. Sex on demand. All the cooking, cleaning, and worked full time. 5 years in I started anti depressants due to a lot of different reasons. From then my sex drive plummeted. I didn’t really tell him. I kept up my “wifely duties” whenever it was expected but as time went on I got so over it. It started a lot of arguments and caused him to get what I called “blue ball anger”. I now recoil when he touches me. Kissing him feels like I’m kissing my brother and the thought of sex disgusts me. Fast forward to about 3 years ago we to started marriage counseling. I personally don’t think it did anything. It just rehashed old wounds that we thought we had addressed. Long story short(ened)- I don’t feel like I am in love anymore. I have recently reconnected with an old school friend who is separated and showing intense feelings for me which I have reciprocated. I feel guilt in this but at the same time I feel like I wouldn’t have allowed this to happen if there hadnt been a growing divide in my marriage. Of course that’s not putting blame on anyone else but myself. I want to leave my husband but the anxiety I feel about my children’s wellbeing’s, financial issues plus strict family pressures just scares me. My anxiety is so bad, even on medication and increasing it. I frequently have nausea, stomach anxiety which leads to awful diarrhea and uncontrollable crying. I am just so lost. I am unhappy in my marriage but too scared of the alternative. I don’t know what I’m doing. I just know I’m not happy but my children’s happiness comes first and I know they want their parents together.

Jane2 Don’t know how to set boundaries
  • replies: 5

My daughter is 25 with autism and her daughter is 5. They live with me. Now the problems : she doesn’t always talk with respect to me and I’m always wrong. She mimics to me …”you are always right and you are responsible for how you feel”. Nothing is ... View more

My daughter is 25 with autism and her daughter is 5. They live with me. Now the problems : she doesn’t always talk with respect to me and I’m always wrong. She mimics to me …”you are always right and you are responsible for how you feel”. Nothing is her fault. I have given up my life for them. I hardly go anywhere or do anything. If I suggest something I want to do, she will not respond. So she says ‘I never said no, and you can do what you want”, but is clever to make me feel guilt. from 18-20 she had major mental health and this has affected me, cause I don’t want to upset her. I’ve seen what she is like when depressed. I go to work and come home. I am always offering to help with the child. She accepts but hardly ever says thank you. She just expects.everyone says I need a life, but how. I can’t set boundaries. When I do, she always has something to say back. All this is confusing and I’m not good expressing how I feel, and she always has a comeback. one day I suggested if she doesn’t like it here, she could put her name down for public housing..her reply was, “now you are just being stupid”. She doesn’t like to be alone at night so I don’t have holidays. I just had a night away but she said it’s ok if I take my grandaughter. I was going to take her anyway, but ..My daughter is in bed 90% of the time, and parents from bed, only getting up to cook meals or bath her. My house…yet she uses my ensuite, every room is her stuff or the kids stuff. I have nowhere to do my art. I put a table outside to make moulds but it’s cold out there. I want my life back. I don’t even know who I am anymore. I can retire in 4-6 years but the thought of being home all day with her makes me feel sick. So I need to know how to find myself, how to talk to her, how I can go away and have my time, I also want time alone in my own house, and how to set boundaries.

H_NG High Functioning Depression
  • replies: 5

I think I have high-functioning depression. I just went through a break-up and have a medical condition that I'm scared about. I go to work and then go home. Work is the only thing I can do to distract myself from all of these feelings. I had a boyfr... View more

I think I have high-functioning depression. I just went through a break-up and have a medical condition that I'm scared about. I go to work and then go home. Work is the only thing I can do to distract myself from all of these feelings. I had a boyfriend of 5 years. We were on and off. I found out recently that he has a gambling addiction and had borrowed money from the bank and lost it all. I just bought a house last year by myself, so I tried as hard as I could to pay for it. Working all the time. I think I bought the wrong house and the wrong time, there are so many things I don't like about it. I know home ownership is a privilege and I shouldn't complain about it. But I think I have buyer's remorse. But I can't do anything now. I work really hard. Sometimes 60-70 hours a week. 7 days a week with weekends and on call. Sometimes 15 hours a day. I also found out recently that I have an ovarian tumour that they are not sure if it is benign or malignant. They may or may not need surgery. We are monitoring it at the moment. I live in Australia by myself, so no family and very few friends. My ex was my family for 5 years. Except for the gambling addiction, he always cares for and loves me. He has done a lot for me, but I’m also scared to live with someone with an addiction. I have been through a lot, so I know these feelings will pass, but I feel like I need some help at the moment.

Audrey79 Husband chatting to another woman online
  • replies: 6

My husband had been chatting to another woman online from Columbia for about 4 months. He fell asleep with his phone open and I saw the texts and pictures that were exchanged that were from a somewhat explicit nature. I was heartbroken seeing the mes... View more

My husband had been chatting to another woman online from Columbia for about 4 months. He fell asleep with his phone open and I saw the texts and pictures that were exchanged that were from a somewhat explicit nature. I was heartbroken seeing the messages and the pictures that I had never seen before. The pictures were not fully naked ones, I didn’t see any fully naked pictures and this is what he told me also. But the conversations were not only explicit but they were telling eachother they loved each other and missed each other. Conversations that him and I had when we first met. He said that she didn’t mean anything to him and it was all fake. He said that she couldn’t speak English and half the time was spent translating their messages.He was very sorry for hurting me, and he said that he did it because he was lonely and stressed. He doesn’t deem it as cheating because they weren’t physical, he had no intention of meeting her and he doesn’t even deem it as a fantasy. We have had countless arguments since it happened.I found his phone on our 10th anniversary, which made it worse. It’s been one month and 17 days since it happened. He has since cut off all communication with her on that very day that I found his phone. But he didn’t tell her he was married out of fear that she might send his pics out on the internet. He said that he messaged her and thanked her for her time but he had to go and couldnt talk to her anymore, and then blocked her. He also said to me that he wished he never met her as she ruined his life. He says loves me and really wants to work on our marriage. I don’t know what to do, I can’t stop crying and I’m second guessing myself and my appearance. My self esteem has plummeted, I feel numb and now I feel like I’m suffering depression. Even as i type this out, I can’t stop the tears from falling. I’ve not been myself since and don’t know what to do….Please help!

Kwestone Heartbroken man
  • replies: 8

I’m a 53 year old man who’s wife of 25 years has decided to end our marriage with no warning. We were an extremely tight, loving couple with 4 kids and the breakup has left me bewildered and crushed. Up until the last week of our relationship I felt ... View more

I’m a 53 year old man who’s wife of 25 years has decided to end our marriage with no warning. We were an extremely tight, loving couple with 4 kids and the breakup has left me bewildered and crushed. Up until the last week of our relationship I felt like it was her and I forever. We have had extreme financial stress since she lost her business and went bankrupt during Covid and these pressures have come to a head about 6 weeks ago due to a legal issue she is involved in which could’ve and now definitely will force us to sell our home of twenty years. The equity in our house means the sale isn’t life ending it’s more of a big financial step back. She has also been going through perimenopause for the last 3 years with all the usual symptoms. Although, intimacy has remained active through this time. She has basically told me her ability to care for anyone has dried up. She has also given our kids, the oldest 24 and the youngest 18 an ultimatum of 12 months to move out. She was the victim of child sexual abuse with she has never received help for and would refuse. She believes in just getting over it and soldiering on. Her Mother died 8 weeks ago. She had a lot of resentment for her Mother due to the way she handled the abuse. While they were not estranged she did not attend the funeral and as far as I saw didn’t shed a single tear. She is the epitome of a strong, independent woman and I loved her for it. I’ve asked is there anybody else and she was disgusted that I’d asked replying she wouldn’t care if she never saw another man again in her whole life. Our family are all on the life 360 app so I have no reason to believe there is someone else. She also works independently so it’s not like she could have her eye on someone at work etc. I want to say I’m not the perfect husband. I have helped around the house cook tea at least 3 to four nights a week although my job is very physically demanding. I work hard and have always made sure she knew I loved her and I thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world. I have supported her and defended her even when I thought she was making a mistake or was wrong. Now she’s saying I’ve never supported her. I’m dazed and confused. Anyone else had a similar experience or got any advice? I feel like I’ve lost my whole life, family and future.

As an organisation that supports people from across Australia, Beyond Blue acknowledges the Traditional Owners and Custodians of Country and their continuing connection to land, waters and community. We pay respect to Elders past and present.

First Nations Peoples are advised that this website may include reference to and images of deceased persons.

Beyond Blue is committed to safe inclusive spaces, policies and services for people of LGBTIQ+ communities and their families.

Helpful information

Stay in touch

Sign up below for regular emails from Beyond Blue, filled with information, advice and support for you or your loved ones.

Stay in touch

Talk it through with us, we'll point you in the right direction.

Call 1300 224 636

24 hours / 7 days a week

Chat Online

24 hours / 7 days a week

Email us

Get a reply in 24 hours

Copyright � 2026 Beyond Blue Ltd

All rights reserved

Contact us Terms of use Privacy policy Site map