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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Flashfire I did a stupid thing
  • replies: 1

My relationship broke up 4 months ago and my ex-partner and I have been trying to cohabit as we are not able to move into individual accommodations. It's been hard, there have been days when we barely speak to each other, there are other days when we... View more

My relationship broke up 4 months ago and my ex-partner and I have been trying to cohabit as we are not able to move into individual accommodations. It's been hard, there have been days when we barely speak to each other, there are other days when we have tried to talk but it is going around in circles. My ex-partner is trying to move on and I guess I have been trying to find a way to get the relationship back. But every time I ask her what it is she wants, she tells me. "I don't know" I feel as if she has made some decisions but she is not sharing them with me and it's frustrating. This weekend she went away and I am home, I knew she has been journalling, so her journal and I read it, and yes, I know this is a terrible breach of her privacy, and I should not have done it. But it answered some of my questions. I now know that the relationship is irreconcilable, she has accused me of so many things in this journal that are just not true and I feel so sad because the person I spent 31 years of my life with, doesn't know me at all. She has been reading books on co-dependency and from what I have read it seems to me that there is the giver and a taker and she is making it sound like I am the taker, needy, selfish, self centred, manipulative, she has accused me of gas lighting ( I don't even know what that means!) lying, being deceitful and money hungry (for her money) I feel so destroyed by this, I don't know how I am going to face her but I can't confess what I did because to her it would just prove that she is right not to trust me. I don't know what to do. Lee

Sla24- Feeling empty and lonely
  • replies: 2

I have had depression for years now but I always had my family around which helped. Now my sons are growing up and moving out, my marriage is falling apart, I miss my Mum, she passed away 3 years ago and I feel so unhappy, lonely and empty. I feel li... View more

I have had depression for years now but I always had my family around which helped. Now my sons are growing up and moving out, my marriage is falling apart, I miss my Mum, she passed away 3 years ago and I feel so unhappy, lonely and empty. I feel like there isn’t anything to look forward to anymore. Is there anyone else that feels like this?

Anie5 How do I move on
  • replies: 3

My second husband has decided we are done. I have 2 teenage children. From my previous marriage. I have been with my husband almost 10 years, married almost 7 years. He wanted a separation after I had a major operation and in that time I have made th... View more

My second husband has decided we are done. I have 2 teenage children. From my previous marriage. I have been with my husband almost 10 years, married almost 7 years. He wanted a separation after I had a major operation and in that time I have made things worse. He wanted space and I kept messaging him and then got annoyed with him and ultimately I have pushed him too far and now he's done. Moved out permanently last week and I just can't accept it, even though I known it's done. I have enormous trust issues and I have let that control my thinking and now it's too late. He is not blameless in this and I know deep down it's for the best but how do I move on? He has been quite strict over the years with my kids and his expectations of them have been way over the top. They don't have a relationship with him, they're always worried about what they're in trouble for next. Like I said I know this separation is for the best but I am just so sad for what we did have and the future we had planned. I guess I'm scared. I work, have a good job, I'm staying in our house until I can afford to refinance and pay him out. He's still going to contribute financially, so being very reasonable in that sense. I just don't want it to actually be over and feel so sad. I feel like i am going crazy actually. I have had to stop looking at social media, I'm finding all the happy people on there are making me even more depressed! I'm mad at myself for not giving him the time he wanted but he also abandoned me when I needed him most after my surgery. I'm probably not making sense, there's so much more to this but I know it's done. I just want to feel better and be able to function without crying at the drop of a hat!

yowiie I would like to meet my biological daughter
  • replies: 17

Hi GuysI am pretty new to this forum, with this being my first postmy reason for being here is for advice on the best way to handle a situation back in 1979 I had a couple of passionate nights with a young lady, who consequently got pregnant.I was wo... View more

Hi GuysI am pretty new to this forum, with this being my first postmy reason for being here is for advice on the best way to handle a situation back in 1979 I had a couple of passionate nights with a young lady, who consequently got pregnant.I was working away after the 2 night stand and was notified some months later by a couple of mates who resided in the same town as the girl, that she was pregnant with my child.being 19 myself I wasn’t sure what to do, but did how ever try and make contact with her through her parents, but they wouldn’t allow me to talk to herso I figured maybe it’s not my baby and tried to forget about it, but it was always on my mind20 years later I was visiting my grandmother in the hospital and the young lady was a nurse therei was polite to her, I never asked about the baby as it wasn’t my concern. She basically called me everything and know one wanted to see me, she asked who do you think your going to see why your in town.It got me thinking maybe the child was mineI asked my mother if the young lady’s offspring resemble me in anyway, so being a mother she was only more than helpful in her offer to help solve the mysteryThe young lady is now 42 and lives in the same town as my mother. Mum ran into her in the street a month ago and chattedMy mother rang and was in disbelief, the young lady is the spitting image of my oldest daughter, skin colouring , facial features, build, etcI asked my sister who still lives in to find some pics of the lady,!she managed to find several on Facebook and sent them to meI was speechless, there is so much resemblance to my daughter it’s uncannyI am quite certain now that the lady is my daughter, my question is how do I approach her mother to see if I can get contactafter her outburst at the hospital I can’t imagine she would be to happy to hear from me

Moggy23 Husband away working
  • replies: 1

Hi ,do you think I would be normal when your husband has been away for 2 days with work and then coming home and for me to get anxiety?We have two kids 15 and 11 and I work 4 days a week ,the 3 of us look at it as a break from him because he can be m... View more

Hi ,do you think I would be normal when your husband has been away for 2 days with work and then coming home and for me to get anxiety?We have two kids 15 and 11 and I work 4 days a week ,the 3 of us look at it as a break from him because he can be moody ,are we being mean about it.

Elizabeth Louise Feeling so lonely
  • replies: 7

Hi Everyone, Been separated from my husband of 16 Yeats for 6 months now. He left me, we both share the children 50/50.I miss him, we talk regularly, interactions are more positive now, I realy want to save my marriage but I'm afraid that he is too s... View more

Hi Everyone, Been separated from my husband of 16 Yeats for 6 months now. He left me, we both share the children 50/50.I miss him, we talk regularly, interactions are more positive now, I realy want to save my marriage but I'm afraid that he is too scared to try again. His main reason for separating was high conflict. I think it was just stress and he burnt out with so many changes in life that we were dealing with. I really believe things would be different if we try again. I feel so alone in the world, my friends & family are all so busy and I feel like I don't fit in with my family anymore. I keep trying to make plans with people on the weekends when I don't have the kids but i keep getting rejected I try to keep busy with work, and I try to do activities that I enjoy but I still feel so alone. I enjoy talking to him on the phone and having that connection/companionship. I don't have that with anyone else. He has a close friend that he speaks with daily. I don't really have anyone like that other than him. It's not the same with my family. I miss my husband so much. Therapists have told me that I need to move on and let him go. I still have hope that things might change over the next 5-6momths. We co parent without any issues and are working like a team when it comes to the children. I still can't believe he left. I still wake up in shock some days. He's not seeing anyone else and the thought of him seeing someone if we were to Divorce eventually make me terribly sad. I never felt lonely ever in my life until now. I used to want to run away from connecting with people because I was always so stressed. Now I crave for connection. I would really love to hear some good stories where people have reconciled after separation.

Leesha456 Diabetic partner
  • replies: 2

My partner and I just had our 9 year anniversary, we are both in our late 20's, mostly things with us are great, he's loving, loyal, caring, hardworking, a great partner. But, he is type 1 diabetic, which is fine I would never not be with someone bec... View more

My partner and I just had our 9 year anniversary, we are both in our late 20's, mostly things with us are great, he's loving, loyal, caring, hardworking, a great partner. But, he is type 1 diabetic, which is fine I would never not be with someone because of that, however he does not look after his health in the slightest bit! Heavily smokes, drinks, eats food he shouldnt (infact if I didn't make him eat Veges, he wouldn't..) which I find extreamly difficult to watch. We have had many conversations about it over the years, we even had a break 2 years ago because of it but he always promises he will do better. I am constantly having to look after him when he has sugar lows/highs and he gets very aggressive when that happens, he wets/poos the bed quite often, his diabetes even got so bad last year I had to literally drag him into the car and take him to hospital and he was in ICU for a week.. Iv tried speaking to his family about but and they'll listen but then speak to him about it and he'll play it down and then I'm the one over reacting. I spoke to my bestfriend about when he gets aggressive and she told me that I should just sit down and be quite when he treats me like that.. Don't get me wrong he is a beautiful person and normally would never dream of treating me poorly. It's just his diabetes. No one ever told me this is what it can be like, there are no support groups that I know of for partners. No one I know understands just how hard this is. I feel like I'm going insane at times, trying to get through to a brick wall, I broke down tonight, I'm so tired of watching someone slowly kill themself and having to clean up the mess.. But I love him so much.. Feeling defeated..

Kakon Am I being unreasonable
  • replies: 1

Hi Everyone, I am in a long term relationship with my partner. We always have very different hobbies and lifestyle. Sometimes it creates bit of bickering but nothing serious. However, now he wants to go for 2 weeks on a 'surf trip' with his mates and... View more

Hi Everyone, I am in a long term relationship with my partner. We always have very different hobbies and lifestyle. Sometimes it creates bit of bickering but nothing serious. However, now he wants to go for 2 weeks on a 'surf trip' with his mates and don't want me to join. Going on a holiday together probably was the only thing we both enjoyed together as a family. Moreover, I have been to places where he wants to go and it is full home young girls, beach parties and drinks and no family. Even though I don't think he is going to cheat on me but having temptations like that makes me uncomfortable. I have shared my feelings with him and he said I am being unreasonable and unfair. I even offered to go with him but seems like he doesn't want that either. He is like either he goes with his mates or don't go at all. I feel like now if he doesn't go, he will just have resentment against me. And this will bring more problems in our relationship. I am not really sure how to deal with this situation

wolfy_4812 Dealing with being cheated on
  • replies: 3

Hi, Since my recent partner had just passed away I have come to realize he has most likely been cheating on me for the 4 years that we were together and it has destroyed me thinking about it. I had come to this conclusion when a few of his side chick... View more

Hi, Since my recent partner had just passed away I have come to realize he has most likely been cheating on me for the 4 years that we were together and it has destroyed me thinking about it. I had come to this conclusion when a few of his side chicks had messaged me and just thinking about some of the times where he was funny about things. I could never believe that someone could lie straight to my face like that and I'm struggling to trust the next person that is coming into my life, he understands the situation but I'm worried that it's just gonna kill the relationship.It is also making it hard to go see his mum as since his passing she has still been wanting to keep in touch with me and knows nothing about the situation I'm going though and don't think she needs to know about it.Just don't understand how someone could say that they love you and that they would never lie to you when they have done the complete opposite.

kd1111 I don’t think my partners family like me
  • replies: 1

I have been with my fiancé for 8 year, engaged for 1 year and we have a 2 year old together. My partners family started off a bit stand off ish and I just put it down to them getting to know me taking a little extra time. Whenever there was family ev... View more

I have been with my fiancé for 8 year, engaged for 1 year and we have a 2 year old together. My partners family started off a bit stand off ish and I just put it down to them getting to know me taking a little extra time. Whenever there was family events I would always make a lot of effort to try and make conversation with people in his family but it never felt organic or meaningful. It felt like as much as I tried to make conversation it was never returned. I started to notice after we had been together for around 4 years that when organising family events around everyone’s availability it was never taken into concideration when I was working (shift worker) and they would often still get together when I wasn’t available and my partner would go to these events alone. It started to bother me but I kept it to myself because I thought maybe I was being insecure. After being with my partner for 6 years, being engaged and pregnant I mensioned to my partner how much this hurt me and it felt like no one cared that I couldn’t make it or like I wasn’t part of the family. My partner agreed that he noticed it too and we spoke about him not going to family events anymore unless we all went as a family. In the last couple of years I have stopping making an effort at family events to have conversations with people. I have noticed that people will not make an effort to speak to me either. my partner insists that his family like me and that it’s just the way they are but I find the whole thing very uncomfortable and can’t help but feel insecure and think it’s me.