Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

Guest_71772299 This guy is always in my mind
  • replies: 1

HelloI really want to tell this to someone so I get it of my chest… Some months ago I met this guy at a church group. At first I didn’t really notice him.After seeing him a few times in this church group I notice he was staring at me from afar.occasi... View more

HelloI really want to tell this to someone so I get it of my chest… Some months ago I met this guy at a church group. At first I didn’t really notice him.After seeing him a few times in this church group I notice he was staring at me from afar.occasionally he would come and say hi. My conversation skills are not great plus I’m a really shy person so it’s hard for me to keep a conversation going with a new person. I followed him on instagram and he followed me back.he looks at my stories every time I post one. now he is always on my mind.morning, afternoon and night. I have no idea what to do about it……

Clo Supporting self and angry partner through grief
  • replies: 3

I’m really struggling and needing some support. My partner recently lost his father but has anger management issues. He has been so angry at me all the time. The smallest thing might set him off and it takes him ages to calm down especially if he has... View more

I’m really struggling and needing some support. My partner recently lost his father but has anger management issues. He has been so angry at me all the time. The smallest thing might set him off and it takes him ages to calm down especially if he has been drinking. I’ve been trying not to say things which will trigger him, which have recently been about alcohol and drug use. But still the anger remains. I'm currently pregnant and also have a toddler and just feeling so isolated and alone. I want to support him but can’t be the punching bag. I don’t know what to do.

Qball66 My wife hates me.
  • replies: 8

My wife of 20 years hates me ( she told me ). I love her dearly and always will. I have my faults and I'm not perfect - but I've been a good provider for my family and always treated them with love and respect. I'm feeling powerless and depressed and... View more

My wife of 20 years hates me ( she told me ). I love her dearly and always will. I have my faults and I'm not perfect - but I've been a good provider for my family and always treated them with love and respect. I'm feeling powerless and depressed and don't know what to say or do. I'm not suicidal, but I feel that I'm starting to spiral out of control and don't know where to turn next.I adore her and would love to be able to find the girl I married 20 years ago

Azzdog Sexual Health and the Idea of Never Having a Partner
  • replies: 848

Hi everyone, I'm not sure how to put this but hopefully it will make sense. I am a 24 year old male who currently is in therapy and sees a psychologist regularly. I have OCD, anxiety, depression, and autism, and when you put those all together, it be... View more

Hi everyone, I'm not sure how to put this but hopefully it will make sense. I am a 24 year old male who currently is in therapy and sees a psychologist regularly. I have OCD, anxiety, depression, and autism, and when you put those all together, it becomes understandable why socialising is a major problem for me. One major cause of my current situation is the fact that I have never hd a girlfriend or had sex. Because we live in the digital age, it is almost impossible to avoid the fact that a lot of people are in relationships and that modern society is obsessed with the concept of sex. You would almost have to live on a deserted island in order to completely avoid all the triggers associated with it. My cause of concern is that I have no one that I can relate to on this and that I feel like I struggle to articulate how bad it is for my mental health. My psychologist says that I am well in the normal distribution for young men but that doesn't really make me feel any better. Because I am shy, introverted, and have a lot of hobbies and interests that are not in line with contemporary society, I genuinely feel like I will never have a girlfriend, never have sex, and die alone. This fact alone has meant in the past 6 months, I have had 5 separate stints in a psychiatric ward due to concerns of my own safety. I was wondering if there are any other young men out there who feel the same way and are currently in the same boat, and if there are any young mens health groups around? I feel the latter would be important for me and reassure me that I am not the only one who feels this way.

Teena1__ Marriage problems
  • replies: 12

My husband & I have been together for almost a decade, married for 6 years & we have 3 kids together. I am a SAHM while my husband provides for our family. He's a great father to our kids and also a great Provider. I am thankful. throughout the years... View more

My husband & I have been together for almost a decade, married for 6 years & we have 3 kids together. I am a SAHM while my husband provides for our family. He's a great father to our kids and also a great Provider. I am thankful. throughout the years we've bumped heads cause we don't see eye-to-eye on things. Eg: he gave me an ultimatum to marry him in a courthouse or not marry him at all. He's the one who wanted me to be a SAHM and raise our kids while he works. He'll go through many hoops to lie or makes up excuses as to why he can't attend family events, bdys or special occasions (but if it were his fam he'd have no issues showing up). I have caught him out each time on his big lies. He always says for me to go by myself or take the kids. He had a online relaionship while I was pregnant. He makes no effort whatsoever when it comes to our marriage. It's either his way or the highway. I have to fight him tooth & nail to drag him to family events. he makes a huge deal about going even though he only shows up maybe 3 times out of the year. My family love and respect him, and have been paitent with him in not forcing him to come around if he didn't want too. I'll always be the one to come up with spontaneous dates or outings otherwise we won't go anywhere. I'll always go out of of way to spoil him for his bday, anniversaries, fathers day & Christmas but it is never reciprocated. I also have religious commitments and he supports me aslong as I don't have to include him and that also goes for family things, even if it involves the kids. He doesn't want the kids to have big birthdays where he has to socialise with anyone. He's never actively involved, but will happy drive me and the kids hours away to do our own thing just so we miss out on whatever family events we skipped out on that day. I know he loves me but he doesn't care about things or the people that I love. But he just expects me to care & Love his family. I feel like my husband doesn't value me enough to speak my love language.I take care of our kids 24/7. I clean/cook & clean up everyone otherwise things won't ever get done. I help him pay the bills where I can. I have no friends, socialise with noone. My family all live 2 hours away hence why I would want my family to spend time with them. I'm exhausted and tired of fighting him over the same thing over and over. He's 36 years and I'm turning 30. I have suggested counselling but he doesn't believe we have any issues. My dad is dying and he won't go.

Painfullife In deep pain because of betrayal trauma of husband sex addiction
  • replies: 4

Hi, I am in deep pain to an extent that I have depression and I get nightmares. 15 Nov 2021 is the date I will never forget in my life . This is the day when I discovered my husband addiction to strip club, escorts, prostitution and drugs. Married fo... View more

Hi, I am in deep pain to an extent that I have depression and I get nightmares. 15 Nov 2021 is the date I will never forget in my life . This is the day when I discovered my husband addiction to strip club, escorts, prostitution and drugs. Married for almost 17 years now I always thought that we had a strong marriage. I started feeling something off from April 2021 where my husband used to have mood swings , always coming home late from work , going to office work yours during Covid 19.finally on 15 Nov 2021. He confessed that he is going yo strip club 3-4 times a week and sleeping with prostitutes. He said first time he went , he thought he will grab a drink and sit there for 1 hour and heave but it ended up in hiring an escort and having sex. He said he couldn’t handle what he did but still went back next day to hire same escort and ended up using drugs and from there the cycle continued.my husband also said that he tried stopping this cycle but he couldn’t and he ended up spending 220,000$ in 6 months.i am completely devastated. I felt so foolish that u never bother to even check bank accounts as I trusted him so much. in 2012 he suggested we should combine our super in to self manage super and he wants to invest in shares himself. He is trying hard to learn share marked from last 22 years with no success and has even lost 100,000$ in shares before we met when he was around 25 years old. anyways I was shocked yo find that he has wiped off all our superannuation of last 16 years by investing in wrong shares that he never updated me.I am completely lost as I always thought he is a honest guy. He is looking after my elderly mother very well.Dr has diagnosed him with major depressive disorder, PTSD, OCD, maniac state (for his 6 months of sex addiction, drug addiction, reckless behaviour) where he acted completely opposite to his usual behaviour. his older brother has schizophrenia and older duster has severe depression. he also confessed that from last 10 years he started feeling very stressed for his work and developed the habit of watching porn every day. he is on antidepressants, doing recovery work, quit drugs but still has mood swings here and there. i am still lost and depressed. sorry for writing such a long message. Please help RegardsRose

Guest_40256519 30 and lost myself
  • replies: 2

I have suffered emotional/physical abuse for the past 12 years with my now husband. After my 30th birthday, and an event that happened in October I am now broken by every single man in my life. Father, husband, brother. The result of this has left me... View more

I have suffered emotional/physical abuse for the past 12 years with my now husband. After my 30th birthday, and an event that happened in October I am now broken by every single man in my life. Father, husband, brother. The result of this has left me cheating on my husband with another man. It was something I did to make myself Angrier at myself. Almost a self sabotage. A self hurt!!! I’ve caught feelings for this man and all a while my husband is at home 12 days sober and trying to be the best person for me. Why am I doing this? In the back of my mind I’ve heard it all before, nothing ever sticks with this man. He will never change!!! But I am so inlove with him and have been forever. He’s the father of my children but I can’t even bring myself to let him touch me. I have spoken with my father, brother and sister in law who have made me feel like the worst possible person for doing this, yet the abuse I’ve copped from them and my husband included seems to be ok? now I feel like I’m a worthless piece of poop. I am losing my mind and everyone in my family thinks I am too.

2Nice She didn’t want to see me again after she didn’t orgasm
  • replies: 2

A bit of background, I have been single for 3 years now after a 3 year relationship with my ex-girlfriend that was up and down, hot and cold. She ended it in a text message. I consider her the only woman I’ve loved, although it appears despite her re... View more

A bit of background, I have been single for 3 years now after a 3 year relationship with my ex-girlfriend that was up and down, hot and cold. She ended it in a text message. I consider her the only woman I’ve loved, although it appears despite her regularly saying she ‘loved me’ etc, she was apparently using me. its been an incredibly hard road trying to come to terms with it. In the two years that followed, I dated quite a bit but didn’t find a relationship. I had some good sexual relationships but eventually lost interest and for the last year mostly kept to myself. I’ve recently moved to another major city and went to a dating event. I met a very attractive 28 year old girl who is more than 10 years younger than me. During conversation, she said she didn’t want a relationship but would consider casual. I met her for drinks tonight and things went well, the conversation was good although she made comment about my age and little things that she said was her ‘putting shit on me’. We went back to my place and was intimate, she wanted the room to be completely dark which I thought was odd, as she’s very attractive, but no problem. During intimacy, she asked ‘what I liked’. She wanted to try some different intimacy things in the bedroom. It wasn’t really my kind of thing, and I think I started to feel a bit uncomfortable, but continued. She basically started making comments that made me feel bad about her not being satisfied and said the guy she’d been with a week ago had made her satisfied. I said sometimes it takes more than one encounter and asked if we could see each other again, she said I don’t know but maybe. But obviously to me, that’s a no. I feel from my experiences over the last few years and my ex girlfriend, that many women just want to sleep around etc. I dont know how to feel, but I feel very depressed and empty. My ex girlfriend also felt like real love, but in final conversations with her, she said she’d only miss the intimacy with me. Are there any real people out there? Or is it just about sex and sexual gratification. It’s hard to know what there is to look forward to in life, when true love/romance etc was always so important to me, but it seems it was a widespread myth, and that it hard for me to live with.

Guest_85078489 Lonely in my own home
  • replies: 2

Hi there, I’m a Mum of 2, ages 3.5 and 1. Lately I feel, sad, misunderstood & lonely. My life consists of working (hard) and taking care of my children. I don’t feel like myself, I’ve gained weight, I never look well dressed or put together like I us... View more

Hi there, I’m a Mum of 2, ages 3.5 and 1. Lately I feel, sad, misunderstood & lonely. My life consists of working (hard) and taking care of my children. I don’t feel like myself, I’ve gained weight, I never look well dressed or put together like I used to. I’ve been through a significant amount of stress the past 12 months and now it’s all blown over I just feel, numb and sad. I feel like my husband cops a lot of anger out of me but I honestly just feel he misunderstands me. It was recently our 10 year anniversary and he didn’t get me a single gift or organise anything. For Christmas, the same. As if my self worth wasn’t already low, I feel like he doesn’t value me either, even though I’ve given up my entire life and body for our family. I am finding myself crying, more often than normal. Probably every 2nd day. Does this sound like PPD? Or similar? I don’t want to push my husband away but I’m starting to give up at this point. My life just seems really fucking hard and boring at the moment and nobody understands how much I sacrifice and give up and how hard I try… I don’t even know what else to say.. just thought I’d post here before I have to cook yet another dinner… in my lonely house.. maybe I should see my GP..

Guest_46892196 Not comfortable with my husband
  • replies: 1

We've been married for 3 years. We have a 2 year old son together. Everything was fairytale like in the beginning but during my pregnancy I wasn't treated with the respect or care that I envisioned and after the birth of our son I was pressured to sn... View more

We've been married for 3 years. We have a 2 year old son together. Everything was fairytale like in the beginning but during my pregnancy I wasn't treated with the respect or care that I envisioned and after the birth of our son I was pressured to snap back to my old self really quickly and pressured to return to work. This drove a wedge between us. I felt really unsupported. Our son was a difficult baby who suffered terrible colic so naturally the bulk of my time was devoted to him. My husband liked to escape alot. He would go drinking and gambling at any opportunity and when he'd return home he forced from me what I wasn't comfortable to give him. This upset me so much and has really scared me and broken my trust for him. There was a time I unscrewed a door handle from the door because I couldn't physically lock it to escape him. When sober he tries to kiss me and apologise to me and talk me around but I just feel so heartbroken and I find it extremely awkward and unpleasant to be close to him or intimate with him. He won't take responsibility for awful things he's done whilst drunk as he can't remember. It's been over a year I've felt this way. I hope I wake up each day and feel a little different but each time he forces himself on me it pushes me even further away. How on earth do I begin to repair this ?