Partner of 7 years may want to end our relationship.

[Mike85]

Hi everyone. I don't know why I'm doing this but I think I need to get it out there. My partner and I have been together for 7 and a half years. We live together in her house. We have two children one three year old boy who is my biological son and my daughter who is 10 but I met her at 2. Last night we had a massive fight over something very small that had large repercussions. Her number one rule is no lying and I violated that for a very dumb reason. She then got extremely angry and basically told me that she was no longer in love with me and that she wanted me to leave.

This morning we had another discussion with the heat out of the moment a bit and she is standing by her words from last night but has asked for space in the form of me going to stay with my parents for a few days.

I'm struggling with so much of this and some of the abusive and violent language from last night. Further I have not spent a night away from my son or daughter since I moved in 5 years ago. I can't imagine not living in the same house as them. But it is not my house and she deserves some space.

I don't know what to do. I love her very much but am tired of always being the emotional punching bag. I want to be there for my kids and can't leave them.

I also have a history of depression and some pretty bad thoughts are creeping up and I'm not sure I would do well with time alone.

Anyway thanks for reading.

Mike.

[50WV]

Hi Mike, sorry hear this. It sounds somewhat familiar. As someone who has experienced a few relationship breakdowns and my share of arguments I feel your pain. There’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re not wanted in your own home. In the face of all of this negative situation you  need to be kind to yourself I know myself I can talk to myself in a way that I would never think of talking to others. It is great you have family to stay with. Distance is not always a bad thing initially it can give you clarity and also make the other person realize your absence is not something they actually wanted. Women can be difficult to understand at times but I find with some perspective I can see where my wife was coming from after an argument and most of the time it had nothing to do with the actual minor reason for initial fight. All you can do is ask for forgiveness own your part and be the best parent you can be to those kids regardless of the outcome. 

[Mike85]

Thanks. That's what I'm going to try to do.

I'm just not great with being away from my kids. Especially the little one. He loves his dad, he deserves a good one in his life and he's a really special guy.